Day #202 - Live life completely from moment to moment.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"My candle burns at both its ends;
It will not last the night;
But of, my foes, and oh, my friends---
It gives a lovely light." ---Edna St. Vincent Millay
      

Day #202 - Live life completely from moment to moment.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

New Videos - Combine a Baby Memory Scrapbook and Post-It Notes, plus "Family Members as Role Models..." Essay Preview

And Then Some Publishing News
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This week we have two new videos that explain what you can do with "Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls." The first video describes how you can take Post-it® Picture Paper and easily print out a picture of your special delivery, then add your photo to your baby memory book.

In the second video author Lynne Hall and illustrator Anthony Weaver explain and answer questions about their book, "Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls." They answer questions about the inspiration of the book, how the baby memories are set up, how we arrived at our title, what Special Delivery covers plus plenty of examples... And Then Some!

How-to combine Special Delivery Baby Book plus "Post-It" picture paper - A perfect combination




Special Delivery Baby Memory Book Explained by Author Lynne Hall and Illustrator Anthony Weaver




Do you have any questions about Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls? Please ask...

Get your Special Delivery NOW: ProductsThatPamper.com

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “Family members as role models: The first school for young children."  Valuing children as human beings, revealing consistency between what you do and what you expect children to do, creating a positive and supportive home atmosphere, accentuating the positive, and modeling and explaining effective, expected behaviors, are just some of the ways adults can influence children.  This essay is about the important role family members play in influencing children.   

Family members as role models: The first school for young children
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
There is no doubt that parents are a child’s first teachers and role models.  Usually, too, children are more affected by what their parents do than by what their parents say.  They learn how to behave by seeing how their mothers and fathers behave, and they follow their example.  It is like a computer’s default pattern.  That is, when given no specific instructions on how the computer is supposed to deal with a situation, it falls back on the programming it has stored in its memory, and it uses the instructions in that programming.


And Then Some Works!

The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible

Book Club... And Then Some!





The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible         
by John Geiger



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
There are 24 pages of notes in support of this 297-page book; however, as one reviewer noted, “I’ve never read a book that gave the source but ignored adding page numbers.  It’s a basic tradition of scholarship.  Give exact details so readers can confirm the source.  Readers who want to verify a quote from ‘Varieties of Religious Experience,’ for example, might need an hour or more to find the context; a considerate scholar will give the page and so guide readers in an instant.” 

Now, you have to understand as you begin reading these awesome, awe-inspiring stories, that even when people demonstrate a sheer determination to endure in life-and-death circumstances, whether it is the author’s interpretation or that of the survivor, the interpretation will be that “a faith in one’s ultimate survival, seen in so many of the cases in this book, is the power of the savior.”  I have always wondered why it is that people who begin with faith and pray mightily for their own survival in such circumstances end up dying?  We hear that faith creates survivors, but just as likely in life-and-death circumstances, faith can result in death.  Aren’t the odds 50-50 anyway?  And if the odds are 50-50 (do we have any proof otherwise?), then what is the true value of prayer?  Does it make you feel better?  More confident?  More secure?  More assured?  More courageous?  Or, does it simply buoy the spirits with hope and inspiration?  I’m not denying its value, but it doesn’t change the odds.

Whether you are a believer or not, the stories collected by Geiger are amazing.  For example, he begins with a story of a man who was trapped in the south tower of the World Trade Center on the morning of the 9/11 attacks who followed a “voice” and a “presence” who led him through smoke and fire to safety.  He was the last person to get out alive on that day.  (My assumption, of course, is that all of the others who did not get out alive were either those of no faith, little faith, or not the right faith.)

One reviewer of the book wrote, “The author doesn’t make any assertions as to what the third man actually might be, but after doing an in-depth study of other literature . . . and doing the practice of listening to the ‘still small voice,’ I now know that this is none other than our divine higher self—the god of us—in action . . . It is omniscient and will manifest itself whenever our normal human nature gets out of the way.”  For many, “normal human nature”—and the knowledge of science—will always interfere.  But that doesn’t change the odds in any way.

There is no doubt that “the book reads like a collection of anecdotes,” as one reviewer noted, and it can become tiring.  Nonetheless, that does not deny the impact of the stories.  This is an entertaining collection by a talented writer, and if you can be (or are) moved by messages of hope, then this is a great selection.


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This book is available from Amazon.com: The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A college student goes to the school therapist.  During the
session, the therapist asks, "How is your sex life?"

The college student replies, "I have a lot of issues with sex."

The therapist asks again, "What kind of issues?"

The college student again replies, "Oh, mostly Hustler and Penthouse."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care

In my more than thirty years of college teaching, one underlying philosophy has guided both my teaching and writing.  That philosophy is that people want to improve their lives—communicate better, of course, but do better, act with higher quality, strive harder, and live a more valuable, desirable, and suitable life.  It was this philosophy that made me want to enter the classroom, accept the opportunity to write a textbook, choose to lecture, advise and counsel students, and go above and beyond what was expected of me as a professional. 

There were times that I became skeptical that the philosophy was wrong.  For example, I met people who were only willing to give half-an-effort to a project, I would serve on a committee only to find that I was the only one willing to work, or I encountered students taking courses for a “pass” instead of a grade so they only had to exert a minimal amount of time and effort.  When I was a student I (tongue-in-cheek) celebrated those around me who chose not to give their “all” with a flippant remark: “Well, that’s one more person with whom I don’t have to compete.”  Because their philosophy wasn’t my own (and there were always more of them than people like myself), I always assumed that I was the exception, not them. 

As a teacher I made a vow with myself that I would not let those students who did not want to commit themselves to my courses drag me or my standards down.  I chose, instead, to direct my attention and focus to those who wanted to excel.  If you want to be outstanding, then I am here to help you; if you want to be mediocre or “just average,” then you will need to find a way to help yourself. 

This approach to education—attend to and focus on those who want to excel—faced a great deal of student complaint and criticism when I directed a basic, required, speech-communication class.  Why?  Because many students believed that a basic, required, speech-communication course should—by both its definition and nature—be a “blow off,” “Mickey Mouse,” easy grade.  In the course, they found a director (me!) who had high standards supported by a number of exercises, activities, and assignments that not just required work, but were evaluated by well-designed, stringent, detailed, and explicitly explained criteria.  Students, in all cases, knew exactly the criteria they would be evaluated on before undertaking any activity. 

Now, underlying or buttressing my approach to the basic speech-communication course was a belief that effective communication would help students improve their lives.  If they took the course seriously, there was a good chance that they would find benefits in all their thoughts and actions—as well as in their other classes, in their daily interactions with others, in their relationships, in any job they pursued, and, obviously, in their communication-related activities (i.e., small-group discussions and public speaking). 

Despite the way I conducted my courses, and despite the basic philosophies I believed in that guided my behavior, I may have over estimated my audience.  How did I arrive at this conclusion?  I discovered it when reading a book, The Healthy Guide to Unhealthy Living: How to Survive Your Bad Habits  (Simon & Schuster, 2006), by Dr. David J. Clayton.  Clayton is a medical doctor who is a graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.  He has an undergraduate degree in chemical biology with honors from Stevens Institute of Technology.  He trained in internal medicine at Boston University and the Scripps Clinic and Research Institute in La Jolla, California. 

Clayton begins the introduction to his book with this comment: “Despite all the self-help books out there on living a healthy life, many of my patients don’t want to know how to live a healthy life—they want to know how to live their unhealthy lives better.”  In the very next paragraph he writes, “They don’t want to stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or having casual sex with the other sleep-deprived professionals they meet at parties.  They want to know how to do these things without killing themselves or permanently damaging their health.  They want to know how to lose weight fast for a wedding, or whether a drug test will show last week’s joint.  They want to know how to stay awake at the office when they haven’t slept well the night before (p. 1).” 

Using an analogy to Clayton’s conclusion, it may be that students don’t want to be more effective communicators.  Maybe they don’t even want to be better educated.  Maybe they simply want a college degree, and they are willing to do what is necessary to acquire the degree.  “Put up the requirement—the hurdle—and we’ll find a way to deal with it,” some students may be saying.    It is similar to those who take courses “pass” so they can complete them with minimum time and effort.  Perhaps college itself has become like those courses taken for a “pass”—what is the fastest, easiest, and most task efficient way I can get a degree and get on with my life? 

I think Clayton has defined a problem that explains a number of different problems.  For example, cheating and dishonesty may occur because all those who cheat and reveal dishonesty see is the final outcome, and the end justifies the means.  It may explain obesity and other hedonistic pleasures: “You do what feels good, and you deal with extraordinary circumstances as they occur.”  It may explain, too, ignorance.  Being informed takes time and effort—pursuing ideas in any kind of organized, systematic, rigorous fashion is an excessive and inordinate demand.  “I’d rather be ignorant,” people say, “because knowing means responsibility.” 

Clayton could just as easily have started his book saying, “People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life.”  Most people believe as they do because their parents believed that way, and it requires no thinking on their own to change or deviate.  Most people don’t think beyond the obvious because it requires energy, and they have never been trained to really think.  Most people watch the no-brainer, lackluster, uninspired, dull, and unimaginative entertainment provided on television or the big screen because of their own slovenly inertia.  They become immersed in video games, text messaging, chat rooms, e-mail messaging, Internet surfing and other mindless pursuits to fill their boring, nothing lives.  People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care. 

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“Breaking Bad Habits: Do You Really Want Change?” is an essay by Christopher George at the website ByRegion.net   His opening paragraph reads like this: “As a hypnotherapist, I work with many people trying to break a habit that they've had for years and some, even decades. As I tell my clients during the first session - in order to change a habit, you first must understand it.”  George discusses two specific steps that must be completed to acquire permanent change

 Oh, I know this website, choicesforteens , is especially designed for teenagers, but the essay, “Why some people can’t break bad habits,” is not only short, but it gets right to the point.  A fast, quick (but solid) read. 

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Copyright August, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

   

Day #201 - Be a friend to others.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job."  ---Laurence J. Peter

Day #201 - Be a friend to others.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

William Shakespeare Almost and the Thursday Essay Preview

And Then Some Publishing News
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Last week we worked on updating ProductsThatPamper.com. This website is devoted to Lynne Hall's handmade photo albums for many different occasions and Special Delivery: A baby memory book for girls or boys. The website isn't quite complete, but what we've produced looks a lot better than the previous effort. We will be adding more videos explaining more about what you can do with Special Delivery. If you have any questions about Lynne's book, leave a comment below and we'll cover the answer in the upcoming video. Check out Lynne's Special Delivery at ProductsThatPamper.com.

It's time for William Shakespeare!

Our new videos series is Who Wrote Shakespeare, Part 1 by Edgar E. Willis. Edgar explains in this introduction that throughout the world William Shakespeare's works have received more translations than any other work except the Bible. The towering reputation is based on two narrative poems, Venus and Adonis and The rape of Lucrece, 154 sonnets that are unsurpassed in their craftsmanship, and some 37 plays. The author told wonderful stories that created characters of such depth and richness that they exist in our minds as real people.  He wrote passage after passage of such transcendent brilliance that absolutely takes your breath away. When you read one of these passages as Edgar has on many occasions, and thought, "it couldn't possibly have been said better." After centuries, the question of whether William Shakespeare actually wrote these works is still being debated? Edgar asks, "Who wrote Shakespeare?" He helps you decide for yourself.   

[Video goes here] OOPS! Not yet... we will post another blog post with, Who wrote William Shakespeare, by Edgar E. Willis.

See more videos with Edgar E. Willis at EdgarEWillis.com

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care."  Most people watch the no-brainer, lackluster, uninspired, dull, and unimaginative entertainment provided on television or the big screen because of their own slovenly inertia.  They become immersed in video games, text messaging, chat rooms, e-mail messaging, Internet surfing and other mindless pursuits to fill their boring, nothing lives.  People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care. 

People don't want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life---and they don't care."
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
Despite the way I conducted my courses, and despite the basic philosophies I believed in that guided my behavior, I may have over estimated my audience.  How did I arrive at this conclusion?  I discovered it when reading a book, The Healthy Guide to Unhealthy Living: How to Survive Your Bad Habits (Simon & Schuster, 2006), by Dr. David J. Clayton.  Clayton is a medical doctor who is a graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.  He has an undergraduate degree in chemical biology with honors from Stevens Institute of Technology.  He trained in internal medicine at Boston University and the Scripps Clinic and Research Institute in La Jolla, California.

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And Then Some Works!

How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times

Book Club... And Then Some!





How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times      
by James Wesley Rawles



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
This 316-page paperback is truly a survival guide that offers readers a list of survival equipment necessary, how to find a survival retreat, find water, store food, acquire fuel and power your home, use a garden and nourish livestock, acquire medical supplies and the knowledge to use them, monitor and use communications equipment, own a home security system and learn self-defense, possess and use firearms, use vehicles and which ones are best, invest, barter and maintain a home-based business.  There is truly a great deal to be learned from this book.

Although it is true that regarding disasters, one size doesn’t fit all, and there are certainly a large number of different kinds of preparations that can be made, depending on the kind and length of the disaster as well as the location and societal issue involved.  The point Rawles makes is an important one—preparing ahead for disaster costs very little, but it can save your life.  It’s a little like buying insurance.

If nothing else, this book will get you thinking about things that may never have occurred to you.  Some of the ideas may seem unrealistic (buying a hybrid car, a diesel pickup, a motorcycle or moped, as well as an electric ATV and a tractor), the idea is simply to get ready before something bad happens.

Although I am unlikely to follow very much of his advice, I found the book practical, useful, and worth reading.  To have it in your library for possible use when the time comes may be a great idea (or as a reference to use periodically), but your library may disappear along with the disaster and render the book meaningless (or lost) just when needed the most.

Nonetheless, the book is, as Eric M. Bessette, of Tobyhanna, PA, said in his review of the book, “Well thought out, well written, and well planned.  In the easy to read instructions, the author teaches you everything from water purification to food storage preparation.”

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This book is available from Amazon.com: How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A man had an accident and called the police on his cell phone.

The police asked, "Where is the location of your accident?"

The man replied, "Approximately near milepost 499."

The police asked again, "Where is milepost 499?"

The man replied again, "Probably between milepost 498 and 500."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

The tyranny of masculinity—stop trying to be a man; start trying to be yourself

Men who display in an obvious way the typical characteristics associated with masculinity are silly, if not immature and childish.  This is about being overly competitive, aggressive, dangerous, violent, insensitive, abusive, selfish, unemotional, hyperrational, or ambitious.  It is true that many of these traits are culturally determined— especially reinforced in the media—but our culture places far too much emphasis on the roles people are supposed to play based on their race, religion, and gender.  If everyone just followed their hearts, kept it real, and didn’t do or be what others told them to do or be, the world would be a better place. 

Men, in general—not all men—can be criticized for being too addicted to cultural definitions of masculinity and for lacking a critical perspective about those definitions. 

A lot of men like sports, cars, motorcycles, beautiful women, sex, guns, gambling, tinkering and fixing, and electronic gadgets.  These interests do not concern me in this essay.  I think some of them are hardwired.  My wife and I have had children of both sexes, and if you watch their natural inclinations—whether nurtured in one direction or the other—males and females are naturally, comfortably, and, I dare say, automatically drawn to different things. 

The problem with the hard-wiring, higher levels of testosterone, and Y chromosome arguments often used to support the trite aphorism that “boys will be boys” (or “men will be men”) is that they offer a handy excuse for not doing the psychological and spiritual hard work that genuine growth and change require, especially when that change and growth contradicts socialization and cultural values.

From where did the current stereotypical view of the male gender come?  The wide variety of masculine ideals of numerous past cultures have all but vanished.  Whether hunter-gatherer, farmer, or craftsman, premodern men were steeped in family, land, community, and religion.  The traditional masculine traits were generativity, stewardship generosity, teaching, husbandry, honor, and even adventure.  All of these have been virtually ignored and replaced by ideals that have been supplied by the media.  Author and media expert Jerry Mander reminds us that, “we evolve into the images we carry in our minds.  We become what we see.” 

An obvious question, however, is why should men addicted to the cultural definitions of masculinity even consider changing?  It is because many of the traits associated with men or socialized into men are just plain stupid—as are, I might add, many of the traits of the conventional female gender role. For example, it is stupid not to ask for directions when lost, to show reluctance to go to a doctor, to thrive on violence, to work such long hours that one does not know his children, or to refuse to become relationally competent. 

What we need to confront are the outdated beliefs that men are impregnable, that risking life and limb is okay, that avoiding medical check-ups, diets, and keep-fit regimes is praiseworthy, that a man’s job is done if he “brings home the bacon,” and that families don’t need them (fathers) as much as mothers. Men need to be reassured that the traditional women’s traits that include being nurturing, selfless, overtly sensitive, passive, emotional, and intuitive are important characteristics—just as important as the traditionally more “macho” characteristics—and that to nurture, encourage, and reveal these “feminine” traits is likely to yield a stronger, more well-rounded, acceptable, and complete human being. 

Women should expect men to be a mixture of many qualities, even though some of those qualities may be polar opposites of each other.  Sure they can retain the old qualities of masculinity such as being strong, aggressive, hard, tough, big, and powerful, but they should also possess the feminine qualities such as being compassionate, soft, sweet, gentle, and caring.  What’s wrong with this combination of traits being the standard?  

Men should be free to express a full range of emotions and creative urges.  In this way they become both more humane and more sane. 

Here is the point: it is very likely that men, on average, have more innate aggressiveness than do most women.  But both men and women will be more tolerant of aggression and competitiveness in a culture that values these traits over gentleness and friendliness. 

The problem is figuring out what techniques or practices would likely encourage such a change?  Men, unfortunately, are the only ones who can do much of the work.  For women to coach men in this undertaking would be both arrogant and inappropriate.  If women can simply supply some of the challenge, a little encouragement, and a great deal of emotional support, of course, that will help.  As with every significant cultural revolution, this tectonic cultural plate shift would happen only because of deep internal, psychological, moral, and spiritual changes, individual by individual. 

One suggestion might be additionally helpful.  Just as women studies and women’s groups worked so well for women, men studies and men’s groups should work for men.  What is needed on college campuses across the nation are three closely interrelated, but distinctive, disciplines: men studies, women studies, and gender studies.  It is only through such a development that we are likely to find something close to freedom from the prison of gender roles. 

It is true that most men feel pressured to act masculine.  Why can’t men, instead, emulate people like the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi—men who were both gentle and competent?  These are male culture heroes and icons of highly accomplished masculinity.  Why is it that most men hold as heroes athletes, lawyers, businessmen, and generals?  The answer is: because we live in a speedy, competitive, hyper-masculine culture—a culture that focuses upon and idealizes the most problematic aspects of the male gender role.  If I could give men just one message, it would be: Stop trying to be a man; start trying to be yourself.  If that includes elements that are considered feminine, so be it.  

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At the JacksonKatz.com website, the essay is entitled “Manhood on the Mat: The Problem is Not that Pro Wrestling Makes Boys Violent. The Real Lesson of the Wildly Popular Pseudo-Sport is More Insidious,” and written by Jackson Katz and Sut Jhally, suggests that the hyper-masculine pro-wrestling subculture promotes bullying, taunting, and other negative male features.  “It is a lesson that resonates all too clearly in our schools: A recent survey of 6,000 children in grades 4 to 6 found that about 1 in 10 said they were bullied one or more times a week, and 1 in 5 admitted to being bullies themselves. And we know from the 1990s' series of school shootings that, all too often, guns become the great equalizer for boys who have been bullied, ridiculed, and verbally taunted.”  This essay was first published in The Boston Globe on February 13, 2000, in the Sunday, Third Edition Focus Section; Pg. E1. 

At the Gender Blender Blog, there is an excellent essay entitled, “Violent Masculinity as a Cultural Ideal: Both Men and Women are Victims,” in which students (problably Women’s Studies students at Tufts University) talk about the various effects of violent masculinity.  It is an interesting and provocative essay. 

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Copyright July, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #199 - Be a master of your destiny.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"If you create an act, you create a habit.  If you create a habit, you create character.  If you create a character, you create a destiny." ---Andre Maurois

Day #199 - Be a master of your destiny.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Masculinity and a Shakespeare Video

And Then Some Publishing News
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Hello folks... let's get you up-to-date! 

The new video page at AndThenSomePublishing.com is finished for now. Sure there are more updates soon since we are releasing more videos later this week. (More on that in a second.) We continue to update our websites and our recent efforts haven statistically proven we are on the right track. 


Thanks for being fans and thank you for your support.


Edgar E. Willis' video on Shakespeare will be released later this week. We were hoping it would be ready for this post, but due to some technical difficulties we've decided to delay the release so we make sure you get what you want. It's Shakespeare and this must presented with respect... and we want to get this one right. Nothing is rotten in the state of Denmark... a little patience is definitely worth the wait.

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “The tyranny of masculinity: Stop trying to be a man; start trying to be yourself."  Men, in general—not all men—can be criticized for being too addicted to cultural definitions of masculinity and for lacking a critical perspective about those definitions.  If you don't believe it, read about it in Thursday's essay.  

The tyranny of masculinity: Stop trying to be a man; start trying to be yourself
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
It is true that most men feel pressured to act masculine.  Why can’t men, instead, emulate people like the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi—men who were both gentle and competent?  These are male culture heroes and icons of highly accomplished masculinity.  Why is it that most men hold as heroes athletes, lawyers, businessmen, and generals?  The answer is: because we live in a speedy, competitive, hyper-masculine culture—a culture that focuses upon and idealizes the most problematic aspects of the male gender role.  If I could give men just one message, it would be: Stop trying to be a man; start trying to be yourself.  If that includes elements that are considered feminine, so be it.

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It's life... And Then Some!

Bozo Sapiens and Live a Little!

Book Club... And Then Some!





Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human      

by Michael Kaplan and Ellen Kaplan



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
This is a fabulous book: well-written, erudite, heavily supported by notes (26 pages out of 304 total), incredibly witty, full of examples and illustrations, with an excellent balance of depth and breadth.

If you are simply looking for a book that will both educate and entertain, this would be an excellent selection.

It is like a 100-level survey course in evolutionary psychology.  The Kaplans discuss the latest research in neuroanatomy, neurochemistry, evolutionary biology, cognitive and social psychology, behavioral finance, among other topics, and although any educated person will be familiar with some of their examples, their endless stream of hilarious anecdotes effectively explain and illustrate the dry research.

What makes this book a captivating page turner is their discussion of sensory mistakes, confirmation bias (motivational reasoning), errors in economics, as well as the stupid mistakes we make in both love and ethics.

If you want to know how the human brain works, depend on the Kaplans for a delightful treatise on human folly.


Live a Little! Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health
By Susan M. Love and Alice D. Domar


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
  
I like this book; however, I think anyone who is fit and healthy likes to read the reinforcements to their lifestyle, and this is certainly one of those books.  It is designed for women not men, but men need a dose of reality as well.  The authors cover the areas of sleep, stress, preventive care, exercise, nutrition, and personal relationships.  It is an interesting and well-written book.

If you are already fit and healthy you certainly don’t need to read this book.  I found nothing new here that you wouldn’t have read (in sufficient supply) elsewhere, whether it is in the “Science” section of the New York Times or in the “Health” sections and columns of your weekly news magazine or newspaper. 

I do appreciate the specificity of their suggestions, and their little quizzes are enjoyable to take.  Their quiz (pp. 114-117) “Are Your Exercise Habits Pretty Healthy?, is designed for self-scoring, and when I looked at my score (18-24 points), I thought the result was well-written: “You are committed to working out without being a fanatic . . . “ At the top end of the scale, 25-30 points, the authors state: “ . . . consider seeking professional help.”  I’m a fanatic when it comes to “regular exercise,” but I don’t “groan in agony,” suffer “serious pain,” exercise seven days a week, or punish myself “for pigging out” (I don’t “pig out.”). 

The quiz on, “Are Your Eating Habits Pretty Healthy?” (pp. 158-161), also rewards (in the self-scoring portion) reasonableness.  Although 22-30 points is the top and the authors recommend lightening up—“Your extreme attitude prevents you from taking joy in your food, and probably leads to quite a bit of unhealthy stress.”  I like this approach, and it was followed as well in the quiz, “Are Your Relationships Pretty Healthy?” (pp. 187-191).

I thought their box, “How We Studied the Studies” (pp. 9-10) is a useful inclusion for any readers unfamiliar with statistics or statistical studies and their interpretation. 

The various boxes throughout the book, the addition of the personal experiences of both authors, the history and background of research and various recommendations, the use of “From the Trenches” by other authors and writers, and their final chapter, “A Pretty Healthy Life, Decade by Decade” (193-215) (20's -70's and beyond), I think, offers useful, commonsense advice.
 

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These books are both available from Amazon.com: Bozo Sapiens: Why to Err is Human and Live a Little! Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

There was an old college professor who started every class with
a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk
out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of their plot, so the next morning he walked in and
said, "Good morning, class.  Did you hear about the shortage of whores
in India?"

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait ladies," cried the professor.  "The boat doesn't leave until Thursday."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Assholes at work

I’ve always assumed the best when encountering other people, and it takes me a long time to form an opinion so severe and critical that I could actually label someone “asshole.”  Although I’ll admit the word is in my vocabulary, there are few instances when I use it, nor would want to use it.  More often than not, my use of the word is in retrospect, a little like Monday-morning quarterbacking, when you look back on a situation, analyze it, and then realize that the negative consequences occurred simply because someone was acting like a total jerk. 

I had a brother-in-law like that who always seemed to take a contrary position in discussions just to antagonize and provoke.  He loved the verbal battle.  I had a colleague like that as well who all faculty members tried to avoid.  It seemed the faculty members of our small department would almost always see eye-to-eye, even agree to disagree at times, but got along with each other famously except when this one person would become involved.  It was as if a discordant ingredient was put into a recipe that seemed to spoil the overall flavor, texture, or appearance.  Without it, no problem; with it, yuck! 

It seems as if this world is more full of assholes today than in the past.  I’m talking here about people who quickly, and often thoughtlessly, throw out personal insults, invade our personal space, make uninvited physical contact, use verbal and nonverbal means to threaten and intimidate, use unwanted sarcastic jokes, offer-up withering e-mail flames, inject rude interruptions into conversations, appear two-faced—one face cordial and accommodating, the other face condemning, vilifying, and attacking—ready to give dirty looks (in Hawaii they call it “stink-eye”) at a moment’s displeasure, and treating others as if they are invisible. 

For this list, and for stimulating this essay, I am indebted to Robert I. Sutton and his book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t (Warner Business Books, 2007).  My list of characteristics, above, comes from his list of “Common Everyday Actions That Assholes Use” (p. 10).  I have avoided using quotation marks throughout most of this essay for ease of reading, but I acknowledge my dependence on this terrific book that is well worth reading. 

The best way I have found to successfully deal with assholes is to avoid them, or, in a business, get rid of them.  Sometimes it is a matter of proceeding with the first approach— avoidance—until the second takes place—departure.  Looking back, in all cases that I can recall, this was exactly the procedure that took place. 

In talking with my father-in-law, a former department chairperson, one faculty member was not only an asshole, continued to provoke and display his negative personality on a daily basis, affected everyone’s demeanor and morale, became known throughout the profession and university for just what he was, and — to everyone’s delight and amusement — ended up taking a faculty position at a university in Australia.  Out of sight, out of mind!  (The trail of negative memories and stories, however, paved a muddy and treacherous course of recollections well beyond his presence in this country.) 

My problem with Sutton’s top ten steps, “Enforcing the No Asshole Rule,” is simple.  It is difficult to detect assholes, because they are so good at disguising themselves before people who do not know them.  So often, when you meet for the first time a person who has been labeled an asshole, recognized as an asshole, and roundly supported as an asshole by people you respect and admire, you are astounded at what you discover.  Here, you think, is one of the most cordial, friendly, warm, genial, affable, amiable, pleasant, polite, warmhearted, and good-natured people on the face of the earth!  The critics must be wrong! 

The key, I’m afraid, is to base your judgment on that of those who are credible and whom you trust and respect.  What other recourse do you have?  In an organization, Sutton claims, assholes hire other assholes, so get rid of them fast.  Treat them as incompetent employees.  Remember power breeds nastiness.  “Beware that giving people — even seemingly nice and sensitive people — even a little power can turn them into big jerks” (p. 90), says Sutton.  In dealing with them, you must develop a culture in which people know how to argue and when to stop fighting.  Often, it means gathering more evidence, listening to other people, and implementing decisions even when the asshole disagrees with them. 

Although it is important to emphasize — in business, education, or even in small meetings — that treating people with respect rather than contempt makes good sense, it doesn’t always register with those for whom the words should resonate the loudest.  The resonation falls on deaf ears — or rebounds with no purpose or direction within an empty head, if it makes it that far — especially when things are going badly! 

When you have to hunker down and take it, here are some of the suggestions Sutton makes for surviving nasty people.  First, reframe the situation to escape the source of stress and reduce the damage being done to you.  Above all, avoid self-blame, hope for the best while expecting the worst, and develop indifference and emotional detachment.  Second, look for and celebrate small wins.  “The advantage of taking small actions is that they bring about noticeable and typically successful changes” (p. 140), says Sutton.  “Using a small-wins strategy can enhance your feelings of control, make things around you a little better, and maybe — just maybe — chip away at the vile and vicious culture in which you are trapped and start making it a bit better” (p. 147).  Third, limit your exposure to dampen the damage that assholes do.  Fourth, build pockets of safety, support, and sanity.  When you can hide, hangout with decent people, or engage supportive family and friends in constructive, positive, and helpful conversations, often these social networks can buffer you against the stress of working with an asshole. 

One problem with assholes is the residual effect they can have on your mind, mentality, and memory.  Just writing this essay, for example, brings back memories I would rather not entertain.  Forgiving and forgetting is a great thought, but sometimes doesn’t serve to purge such experiences.  Although Sutton discusses both revenge and calling their bluff, I have seldom seen these tactics work well.  There are some tactics that work and that are discussed above, and they may be all you have.  Fortunately, assholes make up a small percentage of the population!  

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At the HuffingtonPost.com, Robert Sutton writes, “The No Asshole Rule: Part 1,” where, in his own words, “I thought it would be fun to introduce the book to Huffington Post readers by sharing 13 of the most fascinating and funny things that have happened so far [since his book was published]. The first six are in this post the other seven in my next post.” 

At Bob Sutton’s own website, he offers an essay, “Updated Tips for Victims of Workplace Assholes,” which he introduces with the paragraph, “I’ve talked a lot here about methods for enduring abusive bosses and co-workers.  Some of these tips come from your comments and e-mails, some from the No Asshole Rule, and some from academic research. I thought it would be useful to list some of the most effective methods in one place. I update this list every few months, so please keep your suggestions coming!”  He gives six or seven tips then includes numerous comments from messages he receives at the website. 

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Copyright July, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.