New Year’s Jokes

By Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

What greater way to prepare for the New Year than by sharing with my readers, my favorite New Year’s jokes?  There is no order here.  Some are clearly better than others, but I thought all of them had merit—or they wouldn’t be included.  Most give quick and sufficient testimony to what happened to me: When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.  Let’s begin with a letter to the lord dated January 1st:   
    Dear Lord
    So far this year I've done well.
    I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.  But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
    Amen
    
You’ve heard of the serenity prayer?  This is the senility prayer:
        God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
        The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
        And the eyesight to tell the difference.
    
Many New Year’s resolutions are about dieting:  It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.  The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.  The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat.  It's watching what other people eat.  An excellent way to lose weight is by skipping ... snacks and dessert.  

About dieting, Jackie Gleason said, “A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first.  By the second day you're off it.”
    
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror.  Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
    
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
    
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.  As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
    
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.  As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.  “What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?” asked the police officer.
    “I'm on my way to a lecture,” answered Roger.
    “And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?” enquired the constable sarcastically.
    “My wife,” slurred Daniel grimly.
    
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
    “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.  But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.  This is my position, and I will not compromise.”
    
Now for a joke that is very sad. There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."
    
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
    
 After listening to some bedtime stories, Alex, a little boy, said to his father, “Snow White was poisoned by an apple, Jack found a giant on a beanstalk, and just look what happened to Alice when she ate the mushroom. And you wonder why I won't eat fruit and vegetables?”
    
And a final joke (another one) that has nothing to do with New Years, but offers us all something to think about.  A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
    
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
    
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
    
"Yes, I do," she replies.
    
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
    
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
    
        The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said,

"Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years."
    
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
    
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
    
It was Oscar Wilde who said, “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”  May the new year bring you health, wealth, and prosperity.  Of course, that’s the same toast someone made at your wedding, and where did that get you?
-----
At About.com , the essay there, by Amber J. Tresca,  “10 Tips for Keeping New Year's Resolutions: The best way to stick with your resolution is to plan ahead.,” offers realistic tips and great advice.

Sue Shallenbarger, at the web site , offers the essay, “A Cheat Sheet for Keeping Resolutions .”  Like the essay above, there are realistic tips and great advice here as well.
-----
Copyright December, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #290 - Pursue a hobby.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"It almost seems unfair when you make your profession a hobby as well.  Then it's hard to tell whether you are doing it to make money or doing it for fun.  The joy comes from knowing it is both." --Richard L. Weaver II

Day #290 - Pursue a hobby.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #290.

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "New Year's Jokes." What greater way to prepare for the New Year than by sharing with my readers, my favorite New Year’s jokes?  There is no order here.  Some are clearly better than others, but I thought all of them had merit—or they wouldn’t be included.  Most give quick and sufficient testimony to what happened to me: When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.



New Year's Jokes
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
   
Well, it was kind of embarrassing.  As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

---

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "New Year's Jokes," reads as follows: "What greater way to prepare for the New Year than by sharing with my readers, my favorite New Year’s jokes.  There is no order here.  Some are clearly better than others, but I thought all of them had merit—or they wouldn’t be included.  Most give quick and sufficient testimony to what happened to me: When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.  Let’s begin with a letter to the lord.   
    Dear Lord
    So far this year I've done well.
    I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.  But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
    Amen"
                                                                                                                                             

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

"It was Oscar Wilde who said, “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”  May the new year bring you health, wealth, and prosperity.  Of course, that’s the same toast someone made at your wedding, and where did that get you?"                                       



And Then Some News

Chicken soup for the soul: Think positive — 101 inspirational stories about counting your blessings and having a positive attitude

By Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Amy Newmark



Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


Before you read this review you must understand several things.  First, I am not a strong advocate for any of the books in the Chicken Soup series.  Second, I am a believer in a positive life, and thinking positive about anything should a natural and automatic part of living, not something saved for a particular illness, problem, or situation.  Third, I find that prayer serves no purpose whatever.  It may be useful to buoy your spirit or give you hope, but chances for a positive outcome because of prayer are 50-50, just as they are in life without prayer.  And there are no such things as miracles.  Fourth, all thoughts and feelings occur in the brain — not in the heart.  You cannot be guided by your heart, have a nagging in your heart, or have a broken heart.  Sorry.  The heart is merely a muscle that pumps blood.


Also, and this is just an aside.  Anecdotal evidence (stories, examples, personal experiences, and illustrations) count for little in the course of life.  There is no doubt that they have persuasive power because of the way they stir the emotions and can rally people to act.  But with respect to proving something (there is no doubt that God exists), or serving as a basis for argument, they have no — zero — evidential power.  The experiences detailed in this book are personal, highly subjective, and told with a bias (slant or angle) that can easily cause readers to question their true veracity.


Then why did I pick up this book?  Curiosity could explain it.  I write positive essays, and even my publishing company, And Then Some Publishing, is based on a philosophy (carefully explained at the website) that is founded on the idea that you must do everything that is required of you in life — and then some.  It is the “and then some” that is most likely to bring you recognition, rewards, riches, and success.


One more answer as to why I picked up this book is simple: I am always in search of additional ideas to write about.  At my blog, I write a 1,000-word essay every week, and this is my fourth year (over 200 essays!) of writing them.  I thought that with 101 inspirational stories in this single volume, surely I would find one or two that would stimulate a unique thought, a useful memory, or a new essay.  I was wrong.


Now, you might think — from this introduction to this review — that I found the essays boring, unnecessary, inappropriate, irrelevant, or worthless.  No such thing.  Most are very well written.  Their writers tell a compelling story in great detail and always with a positive outcome.  Just as in all the Chicken Soup books, if you want short inspirational essays, there is no doubt about it, this is a good choice.  They will cause you to closely identify with the writers and, in many cases, appreciate human determination and perseverance.  (I always think to myself, “Damn! what some people have to endure!”)


On the other hand, I found the essays rather repetitive, so I do not recommend readers read the book from beginning to end without stop.  (It can be read quickly.)  Put it somewhere where you can read it in short segments, just as I think it is intended.


I want you to know that I admire any book that causes readers to feel better about themselves or better about the human race in general.  If a book such as this gives people hope, then it has served a useful purpose.  If it helps people put their own life in perspective (by comparing theirs with others in worse situations than their own), then I think it is valuable.  And, if it makes readers “rage, rage against the dying of the light,” as Dylan Thomas expressed it in his famous poem, “Do not go gentle into this good night,” then, perhaps, it should be read by everyone.


(I have reviewed over 250 books, and I did not realize that I had reviewed this book previously.  On July 23, 2011, (about 8 months after my first review) I reviewed it a second time.  Although there is some of the same information in my second review as there is in the first, there is a lot of additional information.  Without any tailoring or deletions, the following is my second review of this book.)


I have been delighted with many of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, but not in the way many of those reading this review would suppose or imagine.  My first goal in selecting this book was to find potential topics, themes, or ideas to write about on my own positive-oriented blog at http://essaysandthensome.blogspot.com/


For the short, inspirational stories, of course, this is not unlike most of the previous books of this genre (although a number of reviewers at Amazon.com suggest this selection is not as strong as others).  


There was an unexpected byproduct here, however, similar to the one I experienced in reading my father-in-law’s (Edgar E. Willis) book, How to be Funny on Purpose: Creating and Consuming Humor.  What I discovered from reading the Willis book, because of its clear, accurate, and detailed explanation of how to create humor, I found myself engaged actively in the process of writing jokes.  I had never written jokes previously nor did I think myself capable.  What fun I had constructing them!


Well, in reading about “thinking positive,” I went through a number of epiphanies.  I couldn’t help myself.  I thought, for example, about what a positive and pleasant life I have led, and why it has happened.


The life I have led, both by design and positive thinking, fortunate (and lucky) decisions I made along the way, and certainly circumstances that have provided opportunities I never dreamed could happen, has been challenging, exciting, rewarding, and incredibly satisfying.  Many of the results of positive thinking occur because of good choices along the way!


Here is my conclusion regarding positive thinking.  All of life depends on making good choices.  So, if I were to give advice to anyone (as I have done to over 80,000 students during my teaching career), it would be this: Prepare yourself in such a way that you (not someone else) is in control over the decisions of your life.


Now, I fully realize this is easier said than done and, too, that no matter how much we prepare, we cannot be in total control over all the decisions of our lives.  That is true, however, that should not be discouraging.  The point is to prepare as widely, broadly, and thoroughly as possible—stretch ourselves in all possible directions—in order to give ourselves the edge, the opportunity, or the advantage in any decisions that affect (or impinge on) our lives.  We do not (cannot) know what curve balls life will throw at us, but that does not mean we cannot prepare ourselves to meet them.


When you apply this philosophy to your life, you are always looking for ways to improve, expand, or extend.  You never stop learning or, even more important, looking for ways to increase your knowledge and potential.


This is the philosophy, I believe, that best undergirds, reinforces, buttresses, supports, and strengthens positive thinking, or it is the most likely philosophy to bring positive results from positive thinking.  Positive thinking alone is valuable, but it takes more than just positive thinking to bring concrete results.


I found this Chicken Soup for the Soul book useful and valuable in this regard.  I realize that teachers seldom know the impact—long-range results—of their instruction, but if I instilled this single idea in any of my 80,000 students I taught over more than 30 years in the classroom and lecture hall, I would consider my work successful.  It is more than just a positive message, it is a charge, command, or instruction that, when internalized and practiced, will send you on a mission to take responsibility for your life.


This book is available at Amazon.com: Chicken soup for the soul: Think positive — 101 inspirational stories about counting your blessings and having a positive attitude

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.  To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home.  You want it, you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.  It looked too good to be true.

So, he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50.00."

The next day someone stole it.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #306 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Christmas ambiance

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
    
It’s true, we work at creating a Christmas ambiance.  It is a warm, delightful, memorable environment that is created not just by one or two special features but with at least five elements that, together, make a difference.  

The lighting is diffused, but it comes from candles in the window and unblinking white Christmas tree lights that are coordinated with evergreens across the mantle that have similar lighting. They produce a calming effect.  There is a ceramic Christmas tree in the dining room with multi-colored lights, a white-lighted Christmas tree on our porch, and the sway hung from the arch between the living and dining rooms has multi-colored lights.
    
Our Christmas tree — what I call our “Memory Tree” — is hung with the trinkets and small souvenirs we collect on our many road and cruise trips.  In addition, it is strung with artificial cranberries and artificial popcorn, but what gives it a true Early-American flavor is the baby’s breath that fills all the nooks and crannies when the tree is finally, fully decorated.
    
Music contributes to the ambiance as well.  As I have collected the close to 100 Christmas CDs over the years, I have concentrated mostly on CDs that have music without singers or singing.  It is soothing, restful, peaceful, and creates a light mood that fills the senses.  I have CDs that feature the piano by itself as well as others that include solo performances using the flute, harp, saxophone, hammered dulcimer, pan flute, and other such instruments.   I enjoy light classics as well as traditional carols, but it is the effect of the pleasant background that creates the true ambiance.
    
We have a fireplace in our living room, and at Christmas we light the ceramic-wood-looking logs.  The fire along with all the other Christmas lights provide enough light for family members to converse, drink their hot tea, eggnog, or hot spiced cider and nibble on crackers topped with smoked oysters, cream cheese and black or red caviar, as well as other Christmas hors d’oeuvers.
    
Our final contribution to the Christmas ambiance is developing a pleasant scent.  We have found that vanilla home fresheners serve this purpose.  Other methods include burning scented candles or simmering a holiday potpourri on the stove.
    
When I come to the dining-room table in the morning for breakfast by myself, it is before the sun comes up.  While everything is dark, I turn on the Christmas lights of three trees as well as the archway greenery between the living and dining rooms, put on a Christmas CD that has no words, and simply bask in the wonderful Christmas ambince.
    
It is, indeed, Christmas ambiance, and it doesn’t exist just in our home.  No matter what your religion or what you believe, there is no escaping holiday programs, decorations, and special Christmas events.  Maybe I’m a softie (I know I am!), but I am deeply affected by the holiday spirit.
    
When I see the houses in my neighborhood all lit up, when I see stores heavily decorated, and even the stores with aisles and aisles of Christmas merchandise, and then when it snows and everything is white, it just reinforces all the joy I feel sitting in my house.  For me, all of this has to do with joyfulness, celebration, and a true sense of belonging — not just to a wonderful, supportive, and delightful family, but to a neighborhood and a community.  
    
When everyone is enjoying the holidays, there is an invisible bonding that occurs that keeps the human connections vibrant, alive, and important.
    
I am fully cognizant of those people who object to having manger scenes on public grounds — and I completely agree with their purpose in maintaining the separation of church and state — but I have always felt that this isn’t the proper season for protest, objection, or demonstration.  These points can just as easily be made, discussed, and decisions made at other times.  Not at Christmas.  Christmas is the season for joy, happiness, and celebration.
    
Think about it, there aren’t enough times during the year (or even in our lives) when everyone comes together with all of their lights, decorations, Christmas programs, and special seasonal events to proclaim and reflect the holiday spirit.
    
You can claim that all of this —everything designed to celebrate Christmas — is designed with the express purpose of proclaiming the birth of Jesus, but I would contend otherwise.  That may explain some of the etymology of Christmas, but in no way does that need to explain how it has evolved.  I believe that everything that is Christmas — all of the ambiance and spirit — can be clearly seen and enjoyed without the haze of religion clouding the topic.  That is, indeed, the point of this essay: how easy it is to enjoy everything that is Christmas for the sheer joy of the lights, appreciation of the decorations, delight in the music, acknowledgment of the scents, and ability to take in the special events that mark the annual event.
- - - - - - - - -
The Purpose of Christmas website, offers wonderful information as well as a terrific, informative, and interesting article by Tom Flynn, “What Today’s Americans Need to Know about Xmas.”

Alyice Edrich’s essay, “Get Into the Christmas Spirit,” at the Ezine@rticles website, offers twelve specific ways to get into the Christmas Spirit.  She ends her essay saying, “Whatever you decide to do, make sure it's something that will make you feel good about yourself and the season.”

Kat Apf’s essay, “Simple ways to get into the Christmas spirit for the holidays,” at the Hellium website offers eight different ways.  Kat discusses the topics, music, food, volunteer, small people, religion, friends, Christmas cards, and decorate.  “In the end,” Kat finishes the essay saying, “Just relax and do the things you enjoy and the Christmas spirit will most likely follow.”
- - - - - -
Copyright December, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.

Day #289 - Think of yourself as unique.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread.  Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique." --Anonymous

Day #289 - Think of yourself as unique.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of five motivational quotations for Day #289.

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "Christmas ambiance," reads as follows: "It’s true, we work at creating a Christmas ambiance.  It is a warm, delightful, memorable environment that is created not just by one or two special features but with at least five elements that, together, make a difference."                                                  
                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

"You can claim that all of this —everything designed to celebrate Christmas — is designed with the express purpose of proclaiming the birth of Jesus, but I would contend otherwise.  That may explain some of the etymology of Christmas, but in no way does that need to explain how it has evolved.  I believe that everything that is Christmas — all of the ambiance and spirit — can be clearly seen and enjoyed without the haze of religion clouding the topic.  That is, indeed, the point of this essay: how easy it is to enjoy everything that is Christmas for the sheer joy of the lights, appreciation of the decorations, delight in the music, acknowledge the scents, and take in the special events that mark the annual event."

        



And Then Some News

Humor me: An anthology of funny contemporary writing

By Ian Frazier, Editor



Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


My father-in-law, Edgar E. Willis, who wrote the great book, How to be funny on purpose: Creating and consuming humor, looked at this book.  He had just read and enjoyed Michael Shelden’s Mark Twain: Man in White (Random House, 2010), so his inclination was to immediately turn to Frazier’s Mark Twain entry, “1601.”  Familiar with this essay, Willis turned up his nose saying not only was it a poor choice (from all the Twain essays that could have been chosen), but it was truly distasteful — lewd and bawdy.


What’s interesting about the Twain piece is that it was singled out by Frazier in the “Introduction.”  He said this:  “Start again [after laughing uproariously]: Now let us turn our attention to the anthology itself, and its contents, which include an eminent piece by the eminent writer Mark Twain on the subject of Shakespeare farting.  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, oh God why did I start with that one?  There’s no way I can describe the farting piece without breaking up completely, oh God oh jeez.  What now?  Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!  A-hee.  A-ha.  Deep breath.  Breathe . . .” (p. x).


I thought his introduction to this book was childish, juvenile, and completely stupid, ridiculous, and irrelevant.  What is truly “stupid, ridiculous, and irrelevant” is that very few pieces in this book deserve (earn?) the “hilarity or hysteria” the author gives them.  I thought, too, that any editor who would begin a book on humor in this way, cannot be trusted.  It was not just “over the top,” it was outrageous and inappropriate.


With respect to Ian Frazier’s introduction, you’ve undoubtedly heard the cliche, “He doth protesteth too much.”  I found the following quotation at “Sigmund, Carl and Alfred under the title, “He doth protesteth too much,” which speaks precisely to Frazier’s approach in his introduction:  “This is the same sort of phenomenon as the famous “I am not a crook” type of statement. If you have to keep asserting something like that, it is often the case that you probably are a crook. Likewise, if you have to keep mentioning that you are “reality-based”, it becomes more and more certain that –whatever you may be, reality has little to do with it.”

If you have to keep asserting how funny your book selections are — that they keep you laughing uproariously — then it is easy (and proper) to assume the book selections that follow are very unfunny.  Be forewarned.


When Willis returned the book to me, he had nothing to say about it — which speaks volumes about the book, the editor, and the selections.  When he likes a book, it is clear from the quotes he shares, the discussions he engages in (or stimulates), and the specific positive comments he makes.  None of that here.


The three-star (out of five) review of the book by the Sacramento Book Review at Amazon.com said, “It's hard to not be skeptical when reading a book pitched as an anthology of funny writing. Humor itself is highly subjective, but the foreword to the book promised laugh-out-loud, gut-wrenching, funny stories. The ensuing book, however, didn't match what the foreword or the title promised.”  Precisely!  Well said.


Toward the end of the “Introduction,” Frazier says, “There are great pieces in here, so you SHOULD enjoy it.  If you don’t, the problem is with you” (p. xii).  It is true that humor is subjective, but when you pick up a book called Humor Me it should be chock full of “great pieces.”  You shouldn’t have to wade through 50 others to find them.  Second, I thought the problem with this book could be me, but when Willis, a true expert on humor and what it takes to be funny, clearly confirmed my point of view, I realized it wasn’t me at all.  The problem with this book is Ian Frazier and the selections he made for this book.  Don’t waste your time on this one.


This book is available at Amazon.com: Humor me: An anthology of funny contemporary writing

LAUGH . . . And Then Some

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," siad Tim.

So, she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Time complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #300 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Self-discipline can change your life in any way you want it to

By Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
    
During my early years, I heard from my parents about the Puritan work ethic, but every time I heard the phrase it was connected with working hard.  Never did I know that it was a biblically based teaching on the necessity of hard work, perfection, and the goodness of labor.
    
Only when I was in college and pursued research on New England preachers, did I realize that it was protestant preachers who preached on the goodness and the necessity of labor for its effect on humans, of course, but more broadly, for its effect on Christian society.
    
Although the term was coined by Max Weber, the phrase “Puritan work ethic” was part of 1800s American culture, and it was seen by some Americans as one of the cornerstones of national prosperity.  The Puritans may have personally defined it by saying, “I am to be honest, hard working, reliable, sober, mindful of the future, appropriate in my relationships, successful, and thereby give glory to God,” but, I am certain my parents used it strictly as a motivational tool: “You’ve got to work hard son, if you want to make anything of your life.”
    
Perhaps it was the philosophy or maybe it was just good genes, but I was never one to shy away from hard work.  I have always thought of self-discipline as the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state, and I have come to use the words “self-discipline” in place of the Puritan work ethic, because I want to be in control of my life.  In my mind, it is exactly as William Feather said: “If we don’t discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us.”  Self-discipline puts the control in our own hands.
    
Now we know that self-discipline can be a stronger predictor of success than IQ (Psychological Science, Vol. 16:12 (December 2005), p. 939).
    
Just as I was told that the Puritan work ethic was a vital characteristic of successful people, I make the same claim for self-discipline.  To face the challenges and problems along the path to success and achievement, you have to persevere and be strong.  It is self-discipline that helps you control your actions and stay on track.
    
It doesn’t take much reading or observation to acknowledge lack of self-discipline.  Problems such as being overweight, procrastinating, debt, poor relationships, excessive stress, poor work performance, laziness, smoking, drinking, lack of exercise, negative habits, poor appearance, and many others can be traced to our tendency to justify our words, actions, and behaviors.  Self-discipline along with passion and planning can wipe out these problems.  Within the domain of problems it can solve, it is unmatched.  Although the problems we face and the methods we use to deal with them will vary, the underlying solution remains the same.
    
Self-discipline affects your confidence, because being in control will boost your confidence and esteem.  It affects how you see yourself, because your self image will be better when you know you can succeed and change.  It affects your ability to see projects through, allows you to stay focused, and it can change your life in any way you want it to.
    
Self-discipline is like a muscle.  The more you train it, the stronger you become; the less you train it, the weaker you become.  Just as most people have weak muscles compared with how strong they could become with training, most people are weak in their level of self-discipline.
    
There is an old story about a man who went to a tattooist because he had always wanted a  tattoo of a lion on his back.  The tattooist started to sketch the tail into the man’s torso: “Ouch!  What are you doing?” asked the man.  “I’m doing the lion’s tail” replied the tattooist.  “Well then for goodness sake let’s have a lion without a tail!” said the man, wincing in pain.
    
Next the artist set about on the Lion’s whiskers.  “Ouch!” cried the man, “What’s that?”  “The whiskers!” said the tattooist, getting increasingly irritated.  “Well let’s have a lion without whiskers!” moaned his customer.
    
The tattooist then set about doing the Lion’s back.  “No that hurts too!” shouted the man.  At this, the tattooist finally lost his patience with the man’s lack of self-discipline.  Throwing down his tools and the man out of his shop, he shouted, “How can you expect to get what you want without a little discomfort?”
    
You become handicapped when you base your decisions purely on your comfort level?  It is too easy to have a wishbone where your backbone should be.  It was Beverly Sills, the opera singer, who said, “There are no short cuts to any place worth going.”
    
The more you use your muscles, the stronger they get.  It is the exercised muscle that lifts the weight.  Mastering self-discipline can be learned, and with it you can accomplish anything.  Without it, nothing worthwhile or lasting can be achieved.
    
If you want greater self-discipline, start exercising your self-discipline muscles.  How?  Work first, then play.  When doing something new, resist the fear of being a “phony”; as you improve, the feeling lessens.  Keep company with disciplined people; often, we imitate those with whom we associate.  Tolerate discomfort gracefully.  Take advantage of high-energy moods, knowing they won’t last.  Imitate those you admire.  Divide large tasks into smaller ones.  Take risks knowing that life without them is safe but boring.  Practice your new skills and exercising on and off all day, if not physically, at least mentally.  Often, mental rehearsal can be as good as physical as long as it is directed and purposeful.  Finally, sleep on important decisions knowing that it prevents impulsive actions.
    
If you tend to be undisciplined, use the little discipline you have to build more.  The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets.  Challenges once impossible will seem like child’s play as you learn new skills, overcome difficulty and hardships, and improve your life.  Because we are what we repeatedly do, self-discipline will not be an act, but a habit.
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Remez Sasson’s essay, “Self-Discipline: Its Benefits and Importance,” at the website SuccessConsciousness, offers specific steps for developing self-discipline and, too, ways to make acquiring it easier.


 SpiritLeo at HubPages, offers an excellent essay that offers guidelines for developing it in your personal life and on the job.  Also, he discusses three systems that will help offer guidance and direction.
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Copyright December, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.

               

Day #288 - Train your mind.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live." --Mortimer Adler

Day #288 - Train your mind.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #288.

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "Self-discipline can change your life in any way you want it to," reads as follows: "During my early years, I heard from my parents about the Puritan work ethic, but every time I heard the phrase it was connected with working hard.  Never did I know that it was a Biblically based teaching on the necessity of hard work, perfection, and the goodness of labor.
                                      
                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

"If you tend to be undisciplined, use the little discipline you have to build more.  The more disciplined you become, the easier life gets.  Challenges once impossible will seem like child’s play as you learn new skills, overcome difficulty and hardships, and improve your life.  Because we are what we repeatedly do, self-discipline will not be an act, but a habit."
      




And Then Some News

Merchants of doubt: How a handful of scientists obscured the truth on issues from tobacco smoke to global warming

By Naomi Oreskes and Erik M. Conway


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


In this 355-page book (274 of text), there are 62 pages of notes.  Oreskes is a professor of history and science studies at the University of California, San Diego, and Conway has published four previous books, one of which was Atmosphere Science at NASA: A History.  Their reputations are impeccable.


With respect to “the story of the Tobacco Strategy, and how it was used to attack science and scientists, and to confuse us [the public] about major, important issues affecting our lives — and the planet we live on” (p. 7) — what this book is all about, the authors “trust our scientific experts on matters of science” (p. 272).  And, it appears that trust is faithfully and fairly placed, and readers can trust the authors to present it in the same manner.


This is an extremely well-written expos , and the story it tells about the tobacco industry and what they did to protect themselves from highly scientific studies about the harmful effects of tobacco could apply to any industry or situation (think pharmaceuticals, alcoholic beverages, nuclear development, foreign threats, outsourcing, antiballistic missel systems (ABMs), pesticides, space exploration, climate change, formaldehyde, pollution, environmental changes, acid rain, global warming, etc.) where large amounts of money can be used to influence honest, well-researched, scientific evidence of harm and destruction.


 In the case of smoking, the industry-based goons (scientists who sell their souls) had to counter the claims 1) that smokers lived sicker and died sooner than their nonsmoking counterparts, 2) that early deaths would not have occurred if these people had never smoked, and, 3) were it not for smoking “practically none of these early deaths from lung cancer would have occurred.  “Smoking killed people” (p. 23).  These are scientifically proven, well-established, accepted facts which affected tobacco sales and, thus, had to be refuted.


This is a thoroughly documented, richly detailed, expertly told story about how doubt is financed and marketed, how evidence can be suppressed, distorted, revised, manipulated, and deleted, how counter narratives are constructed, and how those who promote any program that counters large business, industry, or corporate  interests — whatever they are — can have his or her credibility destroyed, professional career undermined, or life threatened. 


This is not only a disturbing book about organized, scientific, disinformation campaigns, it is downright scary.  What a great book!


This book is available at Amazon.com: Merchants of doubt: How a handful of scientists obscured the truth on issues from tobacco smoke to global warming