Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival...because when you are unhappy, you also throw unhappiness all around." ---Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

Day #165 - Enjoy being festive. SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! -
SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

News... And Then Some!

Get your copy now
at Amazon.com!



News... And Then Some!
Staff Writer, Anthony Weaver


Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook, for boys is now available at Amazon! Sure the information isn't currently correct... Lynne Weaver and Anthony Hall wrote the book? That produced a laugh right from the gut that sustains as the corrections are already being made. Yes, there was a boo-boo somewhere, but by Saturday, February 13, 2010 the meta data (product information including the description) should be corrected. Plus, there will be added pages beyond Amazon's "Look Inside/Search Inside" program so you can get a better idea of how fantastic this book is!

You don't have to wait for the corrections... get
Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook, for boys NOW at Amazon by clicking the book link in this post. Review the book and let us know what you think.

Discover new pages of Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform at Amazon! Praise for the World War II memoir, picture pages, and Edgar E. Willis' biography page have been uploaded for your viewing pleasure. The new pages should be available by Friday, February 12, 2010. See the new pages by clicking the Amazon book link in this post. When you get to Amazon.com, click the link under the picture of the book see all customer images. If you don't see more than 5 images then click "reload/refresh" in your browser. You should be able to see more than 15 images of the book really soon!

Get your copy now
at Amazon.com!



Edgar E, Willis' first video How to be Funny on Purpose, The Anatomy of Humor is scheduled to be released on March 1, 2010. This video breaks down the intricacies of what it takes to be funny, why jokes are funny, including example jokes. This grainy video was produced in 1995 and the expected comments would be, "I can barely see Dr. Willis" and "This video is such poor quality... ", however what Edgar discusses in this video is priceless. It's a great lecture on what it takes to be funny, so even if your eyes don't like it, the information is solid! Look forward to March 1, 2010 when we release the first part of the video!

Don't forget about Relationship Rules: For Long-Term Happiness, Security, and Commitment. This book is perfect as a Valentine’s gift for within it are suggestions, steps, and additional ideas that will motivate, encourage, and challenge relationship partners. Whether you purchase it for yourself, your relationship partner, or someone else planning to enter a relationship, already within a relationship, or just leaving a relationship, it makes an extraordinary gift that will positively influence the future. It is available now at Amazon.com.

Get your copy now
at Amazon.com!



Thursday’s essay is called, “Relationship Success Results from a Union of Differences,” and it appears on our blog for two reasons: 1) It celebrates the existence of Valentine’s Day, 2010, and 2) it celebrates the value of the book Relationship Rules. Reading this essay will give you a real taste of the value of the book because it is taken directly from pages 302-314 of the book

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Relationship Success Results from a Union of Differences
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:


The essential relationship question is this: How can relationship partners use their differences to enhance their relationship? Let’s use Valentine’s Day, 2010, as a celebration of differences for, often, it is those differences that bring the thrill, delight, and pleasure to relationships (if they don’t destroy them). In this essay are four suggestions for using differences to enhance relationships.


And Then Some Works!!




Monday, February 8, 2010

Book Club... And Then Some!

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at Amazon.com!



Get Motivated! Overcome any obstacle, achieve any goal, and accelerate your success with motivational DNA
by Tamara Lowe


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

This is exactly the kind of book to which I am not attracted, especially when you read the lengthy subtitle or when you notice that for a book of 267 pages of text, there are only a meager 25 endnotes total for the whole book. DNA stands for “drives,” “needs,” and “awards,” and as the title of the book suggests, they are the heart or core of the book.

There are a number of useful ideas in this book that, according to the front flyleaf, is “grounded in eight years of research with more than ten thousand people — which simply means Lowe has “trained more than two million people in seventy countries” (written in her brief biography on the back flyleaf). We’re not talking formal, documented, controlled experimentation.

The first useful idea is that plotting your own DNA (how you are best motivated) is easy to do, and once done by following Lowe’s perameters, there is a chapter to describe you. The second useful idea is the way Lowe has categorized the eight motivational types: 1) directors, 2) visionaries, 3) chiefs, 4) champions, 5) supporters, 6) relaters, 7) refiners, and 8) explorers. I wish I had taken the time to plot my own DNA so I could share it with you; however, from just looking at the categories, if I had to guess at my own DNA, it looks like I might traverse a number of categories — but I don’t know.

The third useful idea is how each “communication style” differs. Each one is clearly and explicitly explained in a separate chapter.

There is much useful and interesting information on motivation. Her Chapter 16, “Finish First,” and the related 31, “Motivational Rules of Life,” (“Follow them,” she writes, “and success will follow you” — p. 248) are outstanding.

For a book to which I was initially not attracted, this is a well written, practical (applied), fun book, full of great quotations, useful advice, and a sense of enthusiasm and positive spirit. It is definitely a valuable book. You’ll enjoy it.


Get your copy now
at Amazon.com!



The lost art of listening: How learning to listen can improve relationships, 2nd ed.
by Michael P. Nichols


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

I have written about relationships all of my professional life, and I have included information on relationships in my textbook, Understanding Interpersonal Communication — which, I might add, is “on sale” at Amazon.com for $124.20! Also, I have co-authored a book on listening (with Curt Bechler) which is out-of-print, but Amazon.com lists the book, Listen to Win, “on sale” for $70.00! I mention these as my credentials for reviewing The Lost Art of Listening, which is a book that directly relates the two (relationships and listening), and I want to mention at the outset that this book deserves accolades and recommendations. It is well-written and a true pleasure to read. It is full of practical, applied information, which means you can both understand and use the information immediately. Also, it touches on the very core of the listening problem: that we seldom listen well to the important people in our lives. Most people think they already listen well so would not even consider this book relevant. The “Quiz” on pages 67-69 (along with directions for scoring the results) may help disabuse readers of this belief.

In this 314-page paperback (with a 5 1/2-page index), some may believe the book too forbidding at first glance; however, the author offers numerous examples, interesting and useful boxed inserts, short sections, highlighted (boldface) quotations that offer suggestions and insights, and end-of-chapter exercises that assist you in applying chapter information. It is clear just from a quick glance through the book that Nichols is an accomplished textbook writer — all the essential ancillaries are here. (If you check out his other books at Amazon.com, you will notice from the number of books and froml the reviews, that Nichols has achieved success in a number of subject areas.)

There is no doubt that following the author’s guidelines will not only make you a better listener, but they will contribute positively to improved relationships (his main point!). I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Every parent should read it, and anyone, too, who is planning to enter, is already in, or has experienced any failed relationships in the past desperately needs the information in this book.

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Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookWorksRules.com website.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow

Bob couldn't believe it---he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show.
"Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!"
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"


Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010


Thursday, February 4, 2010

Surprise comes in many shapes and sizes; it’s coping that counts

by Richard L. Weaver II

I was looking for a topic to write about; often I make notes or outline an essay subtly on a small pad in my lap during church services. This time it was the sermon topic itself, “Surprised by God,” by Georganna Mawer, that provided the spark that led to this essay. Surprise! The topic was right in front of me. This happens often, and I never cease to be amazed at the occurrence when I am looking for a topic to write about, and I find it offered, as if on a silver platter..

Surprises often jump out at us when we least expect them. (Of course, that's why they're labeled "surprises"!) Sometimes they are welcome, at other times they leave us in awe and utter shock. They can be small as when we find something around the house that has been missing for some time. Or, they can be huge as when a woman finds herself unexpectedly pregnant — exciting for many, but a surprise that can cause some to feel anxious, depressed, and afraid of what the future holds.

The most surprising thing that could happen in our future would be that it offered no surprises. Because the future has surprised us so often in the past, it would be inconceivable to have a future with no surprises. Those events that will be really startling and have important consequences, futurists have called wild cards. Wild cards have the potential to radically change many people’s thinking and planning. You plan a vacation, for example, and an important family member suddenly dies, and just as suddenly all your time, effort, attention, and finances must be directed elsewhere. Vacation plans now seem frivolous, meaningless, and beside the point.

What we must learn to do in the face of surprises — especially those futurists have labeled wild cards (those that push our buttons or trigger our adrenaline) — is to pull back and take some time to think. Before reacting with an emotional outburst, a nasty letter, or vile e-mail, we must think about the ramifications. The point is that we should never respond quickly just to be done with the matter. It’s a male tendency. That’s what gets many of us in trouble. It is when we are most prone to making mistakes — our emotions control us not our thoughts, and we are likely to say or do exactly the wrong thing.

In the face of surprises, we might want to take a long walk, breathe deeply a few times, and find time to research the facts. The world is not black and white — I am right and the other person is wrong — and there are any number of other alternatives to what is proposed or what has happened, and any alternative is strengthened when buttressed with facts. The key is thinking before acting.


Sometimes the answer lies in why the other person might think or act the way they do. When you count to 10, or even 100, when you feel like striking out and responding immediately, or take that long walk before presuming to know the “real truth” about a situation, the other person’s motives may become obvious. Think about it. Before ascribing sinister motives to others, ask, “Are they under stress that is causing them to react more strongly than what the issue warrants?” Before shooting back a potentially damaging reply, could the surprising event be but a feather floating softly across your horizon? Think about it. Can you simply watch it float by without reacting to it? Many answers lie in no answer at all!

Sometimes the answer to a surprise is not clear. Ask a friend, co-worker, another family member, priest, pastor, or rabbi how they would handle this. Think about it. Consider the possibility, as just noted, of not responding at all, and see how things are in a few days.

It is true that even with a boatload of suggestions, it won’t prevent people from occasionally doing something stupid or unfortunate. Just controlling our own behavior on a daily basis is a constant and formidable challenge. Even those who are older and considered by many to be mature adults struggle with this at times. There is no handbook, and even if there were, it is unlikely to cover every circumstance, all possible conditions, and each incident when and where you could be taken by surprise — and then, definitive instructions on how to handle it. Controlling the behavior of others — to limit the surprises they create for us — is totally outside our ability, much as we would like to believe that we can tell others what is wrong with them and what they should do to fix it! Even if we could, others are likely to take unkindly to instruction, training, or enlightenment from others who are outside the teaching, training, or instructional professions. Often, people take unkindly to instruction no matter the source!

There are ways to cope with surprises, but remember, a surprise would not be a surprise if you could completely anticipate and prepare for it. First, be yourself. As authentically as you can be, be aware that you are not going to agree with everyone all the time. Disagreements, arguments, and conflicts are part of life, and the best way to cope is to be yourself.

Second, be kind to yourself, and be gentle with others. Remember that other people, no matter how they have surprised you, are human beings who suffer the same challenges as you. Part of being gentle with others is to assume that their motives are pure and that they are only trying to deal with things as they see them. When you reveal empathy — trying to see the world as they do — it helps keep things in perspective. Be cautious in how you react to others

The third way to cope with surprises is to get plenty of rest, exercise, and good nutrition. Dealing with life’s stresses — let alone the surprises that are dished out along the way to keep you on your toes — requires all the strength, fortitude, and resilience you can muster. That strength of character, backbone, and courage must come from a firm, solid, and sturdy foundation.

The fourth way to cope with surprises is to be completely and brutally honest with yourself about how you contributed to any conflict, misunderstanding, or surprise. If the surprise came via e-mail, text message, letter, or phone call, you could make yourself a pledge not to respond until the next day — if that is possible. This will give you time to think about the roots of the conflict or misunderstanding. Even if you wait until later in the day, you will have time to consider what your response might mean and how you can react in a more positive manner. Instead of sending a response, call the person and chat or, better yet, talk in person. Try to avoid tacking one surprise on top of another since this may escalate the emotional involvement and further complicate what may have been simple miscommunication.

Surprise comes in many shapes and sizes; it’s how you cope with them that counts. They are going to happen, and preparation is possible. The better prepared you are, the easier they are to handle.
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At the CanyonRanch website, there is a delightful, short essay, “Coping with change,” full of practical suggestions: 1) Stay true to the authentic you, 2) Remember what’s important, 3) Do things that give you joy, 4) Live in gratitude, 5) Control what you can control, 6) Become the solution, 7) Try something new, 8) Talk about it, 9) Exercise, eat well, stay healthy. Good ideas in a well-written essay.


At DocStocSync, the article is entitled, “Coping with loss: Guide to Grieving and Bereavement,” and I realize it is a little off topic here, and the article is longer than those I normally recommend; however, the ideas in this article are excellent. It strikes me that if the surprise is large enough, and if the surprise truly shakes us to our core, then the steps for coping and the guide to grieving offered in the article are outstanding. They are too long to reproduce here, but the article is terrific.

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Copyright February, 2010 - And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.