Friday, January 3, 2014

Friday Humor

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC.
Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a
$100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they're going to douse them all in
gasoline and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, collecting

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."

Monday, December 30, 2013

The genius in all of us: Why everything you’ve been told about genetics, talent, and IQ is wrong

The genius in all of us: Why everything you’ve been told about genetics, talent, and IQ is wrong
By David Shenk

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

One of the most interesting features of this 302-page book (total pages) is that there is only 134 pages of text. There is an 18 page bibliography (pages 279-297), and there is a 138-page "Sources and Notes, Clarifications and Amplifications" section (pages 139-277). There is no index.

Just a note here on the "Sources and Notes. . ." section: Shenk uses 134 pages of text to make his case, and it is engrossing reading. But, if you think "Sources and Notes" would be a long, tedious, boring section of the book, you would be sadly mistaken here. For each and every assertion that Shenk makes in his argument (we’ll get to that in a moment), he has a source or note to verify it. This is a highly researched, evidence specific, thoroughly developed argument that is worth every minute you spend with it.

If you are looking for a motivational book that will support all that you do in life, this is where to start. If you think for one moment that you are limited by the genes with which you were born, think again. Shenk claims your genetic heritage may account for only about 50% of your talent, and the other 50% is determined by nurture and your environment. What you do, and how you feel about what you do matters.

If I was looking for support for all of the motivational essays, speeches, articles, and books I have written throughout the years, this would be the book — and the evidence. What Shenk is saying is that the intensity of your motivation, ambition, persistence, and self-discipline are not genetically determined but are shaped by nurture and environment. Just as you teach children how to take responsibility for their lives, you, too, can have a direct, sustained, ongoing, positive, and productive influence on your own talent and ability. This is good news, and if you don’t believe it, read this book, and bathe in the evidence that supports his assertions.

All of the books that have been (and are being) written on neuroplasticity — "[the] term referring to the ability of the brain and nervous system in all species to change structurally and functionally as a result of input from the environment" — gain support from Shenk’s work. Shenk makes the case for the plasticity of intelligence.

Shenk explains how genes really work, that intelligence is a process not a thing, that talents are not innate gifts "but the result of a slow, invisible accretion of skills," as well as how to be a genius, how to inspire children, how to foster cultural excellence, and how to improve your genes. This is an amazing book!

Having been an advocate of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work on flow, I was delighted to find Shenk referring to Csikszentmihalyi: " . . . intelligence isn’t fixed. Intelligence isn’t general. Intelligence is not a thing. Intelligence is a dynamic, diffuse, and ongoing process. This finding fits perfectly with the earlier work of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and colleagues, who concluded that ‘high academic achievers are not necessarily born ‘smarter’ than others, but work harder and develop more self-discipline’" (p. 42).

Whether you are a supporter of the interactionist perspective or not, the book will introduce you to the way genius is made. That is especially interesting to read.

I think the author made a superb decision to separate his argument and the evidence used to support his argument. He is an excellent writer, and 134 pages may be all you have to read. I have found that the more technical you become by incorporating all your evidence and references within your narrative turns off more readers than it encourages. Shenk’s argument is so well presented, so smoothly offered, and so effective that it should be readable by a large audience — especially, I might add, educators. Educators are often those prone to picking out and doting upon their brighter students. After reading and absorbing what Shenk has to say may make them think twice about this approach.

The use of examples such as David Beckham, Michael Jordan, and Tiger Woods, as well as Friedrich Nietzsche, Beethoven, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was delightful information.

Because of Shenk’s argument, and because of his emphasis on the interaction between genes, nurture, and environment, I loved the following paragraph: "For deliberate practice to work, the demands have to be serious and sustained. Simply playing lots of chess or soccer or golf isn’t enough. Simply taking lessons from a wonderful teacher is not enough. Simply wanting it badly enough is not enough. Deliberate practice requires a mind-set of never, ever, being satisfied with your current ability. It requires a constant self-critique, a pathological restlessness, a passion to aim consistently just beyond one’s capability so that daily disappointment and failure is actually desired, and a never-ending resolve to dust oneself off and try again and again and again" (p.55). Talk about motivation to excel!

Now, after writing a paragraph like that, Shenk offers a realistic assessment of what it takes to excel: "It also requires enormous, life-altering amounts of time—a daily grinding commitment to becoming better. In the long term, the results can be highly satisfying. But in the short term, from day to day and month to month, there’s nothing particularly fun about the process or the substantial sacrifices involved" (p. 55). Do you wonder why the information in this book — even when read by those seemingly committed to change — is likely to go in one ear and out the other?

Oh well. Even if you are familiar with the ideas here, even if you wave off social-science research as bogus, and even if you believe that talent comes primarily from genetic inheritance, this book is a good read. Shenk makes you think — and that’s a healthy thing to do whether you agree or disagree with him. Five stars out of five!

Friday, December 27, 2013

Friday Humor

Be careful during parties

I would like to share a personal experience with all of you about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before, I took a cab home. Sure enough, I passed a police road block, but since it was a cab, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Friday Humor

A young guy from West Virginia moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in West Virginia, but you're not in the mines anymore, son."

The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think
his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing....

Friday, December 13, 2013

Friday Humor

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He
had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he
fixed it up nice... picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and some apple and peach

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket
to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting
and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young
women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the young women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Sugar nation: The hidden truth behind America’s deadliest habit and the simple way to beat it

By Jeff O'Connell

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

What surprised me at the outset of reading O’Connell’s book is a confession he made in the introduction. It isn’t his ignorance of type 2 diabetes, it is that as an executive writer for Men’s health and editor-in-chief for a magazine called Muscle & Fitness, that he would not be aware that "hamburger buns, French fires, and glazed doughnuts" (page 3) would not be good for you in the long run. I mean, he learned this less than five years ago (in 2006) — four years before this book was copyrighted. "So I changed my ways with a vengeance," he writes. Good heavens!

And I thought it was only the illiterate, ignorant/uneducated, or idiots who did not know that! Many, of course, know it and ignore it: "It won’t happen to me!"

On page 29, O’Connell again confesses: "Yet over those two decades, I had somehow acquired a disease of the overweight, or at least what I thought was a disease only for the overweight. Unfortunately I had been eating a lot of unhealthy foods with impunity because they didn’t cause me to pack on pounds. But they were unhealthy nonetheless." Once again, it is hard for me to believe that this author had never learned the long-term effects of eating in this manner!

I am happy that he finally came to the conclusion that careless eating would eventually take its toll on his body, I’m just shocked that it hadn’t happened sooner. He said he had relied on fast food for years!

Once again (a bit later in the book) he said, "After working out at the gym, I’d swing by 7-Eleven for a Butterfinger or an Almond Joy and a twenty-ounce bottle of Gatorade" (p. 29). Gheesh! It’s no wonder that he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes! I’m not shocked regarding his diagnosis coupled with his confessions!

When driving from Woodland Hills, California, to Zionsville, Pennsylvania, he would stop for "a Big Mac with a large order of french fries, washed down with a large Coca-Cola Classic" (p. 32). At Arby’s he would order "a large roast beef sandwich and a large chocolate shake" (p. 32). It never dawned on him that his diet was killing him? If that wasn’t enough, he would order "the premium fish fillet sandwich, large original chocolate Frosty, and medium french fries" at Wendy’s" (p. 32).

It is clear the point he is making (that this is the way many Americans eat), it is simply the irony of a man so closely associated with health and fitness seemingly totally unaware of his horrible dietary habits.

That said, this is a terrific book. Not just because it is well-written, not just because he has 20 pages of notes (250 in a 265-page (of text information) book), but because O’Connell is a great story teller. He is truly engaging.

Also, I liked the way O’Connell incorporates the incredible amount of evidence on the subject. He gives the professional initials of the researcher(s), identifies the university or institute with which he or she is associated, and then clearly and specifically discusses the study or studies accomplished, and the conclusions which follow. Not only that, he effectively relates the information to the point he is making at the time. His quotations were relevant, to the point, and interesting.

The real problem with type-2 diabetes occurs on page 196: "Along with a low-carb eating plan, a gym membership is the most potent antidote to type 2 diabetes" (p. 196).

He cites a Finnish study on diabetes that "found that regular exercise reduced diabetes incidence in subjects by nearly 70 percent compared with subjects who didn’t exercise" (p. 196). Ironically (again!), just 50 pages prior to these statements O’Connell writes, "the diabetes epidemic boils down to two main variables. The first variable is the decline in physical activity over the past century, to the extent that one in four Americans engage in nothing that could reasonably be deemed physical activity. They are couch potatoes, firmly rooted. Sixty percent of Americans don’t engage in enough activity to derive any health benefit" (p. 143) The second factor "is the increase in the consumption of calories" (p. 143).

After reading the paragraph above, is there any wonder why, "The number of Americans with diagnosed diabetes is projected to increase 165% from 11 million in 2000 . . . to 29 million in 2050" ("Projection of Diabetes Burden Through 2050," American Diabetes Association ) ? There needs to be a dedicated, serious, well-advertised national movement.

I loved this book, and I loved the author’s emphasis on exercise; however, anyone reading this review already knows that those who need this information most 1) will not (cannot?) read this book, and 2) will not follow the necessary suggestions (even if they read the book!). Our society, unfortunately, has become negligent, lackadaisical, sloppy — slovenly. Yes, it is too bad, but it is a fact of life with which O’Connell is fully aware.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Friday Humor

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Bristol Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates.

I have truly achieved inner peace, and I know I'm a better person because of it.

Monday, December 2, 2013

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People

By Gary D. Chapman and Paul E. White

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

Let me say at the outset that I was biased TOWARD this book before I even opened it. First, it was to discuss "languages," and all of my professional life I have taught, lectured, and written about the use of language. Second, it had to do with interpersonal communication — work relationships. My book on Understanding Interpersonal Communication (now out of print) went through seven editions. Third, it examined how to improve or human encounters — what effective communication is all about. Fourth, it treated workplace communication. In my book, Communicating Effectively, 10e (McGraw-Hill, 2012), I have a chapter on "Communicating Professionally . . .," which has continually received positive reviews. I am always in search of additional information with which to enhance that chapter and readers’ experiences with workplace communication.

It is not my normal form to mention my publications at the outset of a book review, but in this case, my biases were important for readers to understand prior to reading my review. I wanted to like this book a lot before turning the first page!

I have not read any of the books in Gary Chapman’s "five languages" series, thus, I have had no previous experience with his ideas. When I read about the five appreciation languages (words of affirmation, tangible gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch) my first impression was: This is common sense. There is nothing here that a sensitive, concerned, open, expressive, responsive, and aware person would not already know — and, to be honest, would not already be practicing. But that may, indeed, be the key: Utilizing the five appreciation languages may be the way for those who are not sensitive, concerned, open, expressive, responsive, and aware, to become so or . . . more so.

Like many other self-help books, it is unlikely that those who need this information the most will read it. How likely is it that an insensitive, unconcerned, closed, non-expressive, unresponsive, and unaware person would find or be led to this book? And, what’s more, if led to it, would consider him- or herself in need of this information? Unlikely, to be sure.

The examples used throughout the book are useful and interesting.

The MBA (Motivating by Appreciation) Inventory is a handy, well-conceived tool. What I find most interesting is that the idea that any person has a single preferred way of either receiving or giving appreciation, to me, begs a more important question: To what extent is giving (or receiving) appreciation situation specific? I would think, just as an outside observer, that the kind of appreciation I would give (or receive) would depend entirely on the situation I was in, the person who was either delivering the appreciation or the person to whom appreciation was to be expressed, the degree of need I experienced, the other people involved, whether or not I was being observed, how much credit or appreciation I thought I deserved, and, probably, a fair number of other variables. It’s a little like assessing — or trying to interpret — nonverbal communication. You cannot do it exempt of the circumstances in which it occurs.

The authors contend that "each individual has a primary language of appreciation. Speak that language and they will feel appreciated. Fail to speak that language and they will not feel appreciated" (p. 117). How about expressing appreciation in a wide variety of different modes? In that way 1) if one way misses the mark, another will likely hit it, and 2) one mode of appreciation will skillfully and aptly reinforce, buttress, fortify, and bolster up the others. A person would quickly come to know and understand exactly how much appreciation was being expressed.

I think the alternatives to the MBA Inventory are excellent suggestions for improving communication: 1) Observe their (coworkers’) behavior, 2) Observe what they request of others, and 3) Listen to their complaints. (Pp. 121-123)

I liked the book, but I thought it wasn’t totally necessary; and I missed having an index. I thought there was a great deal of padding once the basic appreciation languages were described and the MBA was explained. Many of the additional application chapters just seemed repetitive and could have been grouped, summarized, and shortened.







Friday, November 29, 2013

Friday Humor

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.
The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Monday, November 25, 2013

The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life’s Most Difficult Problems

By Stephen R. Covey with Breck England

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

There is no doubt that Stephen Covey is a fine writer. The book flows smoothly and comfortably, and readers will have no difficulty understanding any of the concepts or ideas here.

Any book designed to help people solve problems, no matter what the context (work, home, school, law, society, or the world) makes a valuable contribution to our society. Too bad the Republicans and Democrats in Congress can’t read this book, learn the basic concepts and truths, then apply them in thier work with each other. The idea that "I’m right, and you’re wrong" never got anyone anywhere when it comes to solving problems and resolving conflicts. Yes, of course, there is a third alternative (a win-win strategy) that will work, and the explanation (through page 85) is clear, useful, practical, and desperately needed.

The value of the application chapters (3-9) is simple. Many readers will only read the application most relevant to themselves, whether it be work, home, school, law, society, or the world, and they are unlikely to read others. What this means is that there must be redundancy and repetition. It can’t be otherwise. Readers really only need to read through page 85 and then select that chapter that fittingly applies to them or to their situation. That, for most readers, becomes a complete offering and all that’s needed.

I have been writing about empathy, listening, group participation and leadership, as well as conflict management for most of my professional life. My book, Communicating Effectively, 10e (McGraw-Hill, 2012), contains my most recent thinking and writing on these topics. I don’t think that Covey offers anything new or startling with respect to synergistic thinking, but what he does is effectively underscore its importance as well as the specific steps necessary for achieving it. This is worthwhile and makes an important contribution to human-relations effectiveness — and success.

What makes this book truly outstanding is the selection of examples. Now, you may get tired of reading them, however, note what I said previously. You don’t need to read every chapter in the book. After reading up to page 85, then read only that one or those that apply to you or to your situation, and you won’t become overwhelmed by the sheer number of examples. They are certainly one of the strengths of the book.

In your life, you will not and cannot avoid conflict. Conflicts are inevitable. Since that is true, the best recourse you have is to learn how to deal with them effectively. Covey provides a useful set of tools, and the more tools we have in our toolbox, the more likely it is that we can resolve the conflicts we face and move on with our life.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Friday Humor


A friend told a blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are intimate.
The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.
A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

Monday, November 18, 2013

Write your life story: How to organise and record your memories for family and friends to enjoy

By Michael Oke

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

When I first looked at the Contents of this book, I quickly realized that the process Oke discusses is precisely the structure that I intend to follow when I write my own memoir (no date is set, but it is certainly an item on my agenda). There are 16 chapters in this 212-page book (194 pages of content in 15 chapters means an average of about 15 pages per chapter), and Oke begins with, "Why Write Your Life Story?" — an excellent place to begin. (Although the book contains 16 chapters, the 16th contains "Advice from Others...." — about 18 pages of advice.)

"Thinking Things Through" is the title of Oke’s second chapter, and that one is followed by: "Getting Organised," "Planning the Structure," "Considering Alternative Structures," "Preparing to Tell Your Story," "Some Tips and Techniques," "Inspirational Extracts," "Doing Your Research," "Being Ready to Write," "Tackling Difficult Areas,""Revising the Manuscript," "Presentation," "Production," "Publishing," and "Advice from Others Who Have Written."

The advice in this book is specific, practical, and realistic. I liked the way sections were divided up, the many examples, the numerous case studies used to illustrate the text material, as well as the checklists and assignments. There is so much in this book, including a glossary, useful addresses, further reading, and an index.

There is one weakness with the book that Americans need to understand. Look at the title and note the word "organise." That is the British spelling of the word. Oke is a British writer, and the book is published by a British publishing company (), and you see it not only in the spelling of certain words, but I thought the "Further Reading" section was most interesting. 1) Of the 8 books recommended for further reading, half of them were published by How to Books. 2) Of the 11 magazines recommended (although all have websites), they are all British publications.

Here is an example of some of the British oriented text material: "Another source worthy of consideration for the more enthusiastic researcher is the National Newspaper Library in Colindale, London N11. Here you can read through local and national newspapers from decades ago. It is a fascinating place, but worth booking first" (p. 122). (There is no website offered for this source.)

This is a useful source for those thinking about, about to begin, or engaged in writing a memoir (or life story). Why? Because it really covers the essential ideas, offers many different suggestions, and provides additional possibilities that many writers may not think about or may find valuable. It trips synapses that may make you stop and think or may help make your memoir better or more complete. It is a worthwhile assistant — like having a trusted mentor offering hints, recommendations, and counsel that you may not get from any other source.

One overall impression with which I am left is captured in this sentence: "Writing your autobiography is immense fun. . . ." (p. 8). Oke is an enthusiastic advocate of the process, and it is almost as if he is a cheerleader for readers’ ability and their success. If I heard that people were planning to write their life story, this is the kind of book I could and would happily recommend. It is not just a good starting place, it offers the guidance, direction, and information that will help them move from their appropriate starting place to the end of their work.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Friday Humor

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do

The next day grandpa died
. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma

The next day the grandmother died

Thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home

When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

Friday, November 8, 2013

Friday Humor

Three friends married women from different parts of the country.

The first man married a woman from Alabama . He told her that she
was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but
on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed
and put away.

The second man married a woman from South Dakota . He gave his
wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the
cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he
saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the
dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Virginia . He ordered her to keep
the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot
meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see
anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day,
some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of
his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself
a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when
he pees.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Friday Humor

There was a Irish painter named Patrick McGilligan who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually
the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of
one of their biggest buildings.

Patrick put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the
job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with

Well, Patrick was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Patrick clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Patrick was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..

(you're going to love this)

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

"Blessed are the cracked, for they are the ones who let in the light."