A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends
wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read
the card; it read "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how
angry he was, the florist said, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the
mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine
this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and
they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on
your new location!"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Life is unfair
by Richard L. Weaver II
Life is unfair — deal with it! This was an assumption I had throughout my life; I never thought otherwise. And, I determined to level the playing field (get my share) by doing my best. I always thought that if I did my best and succeeded (that is, did well), I would get exactly what I deserved. The problem, I discovered, was that people did not always perceive (or fully realize) another person’s preparation or qualifications; thus, they felt they were not being treated fairly (equally) because they thought they were equal, but if one dug just a little distance below the surface they would discover grave differences, not just minor ones. The problem boiled down to what they “thought” and not what were the facts.
It wasn’t until we had children that “life is unfair” became a fairly commonly used phrase.
We had two boys and two girls, and our job as parents was to continually justify the different treatment each of our children received. It was never the same; not even close. We know of someone else with two girls who were three years apart, and almost since the younger girl was born, the husband felt the girls should be treated equally. What is good for the older child is good for the younger one as well — no matter what it is. This occurred — and became a major bone of contention between the parents — throughout the girls’ childhoods (until the older girl turned twelve). This, of course, is total nonsense, and the father should have been jailed for child abuse. Okay, if not abuse then mistreatment and misconduct at the least.
At the John Tesh Blog, on the topic, “Life is unfair, better get used to it,” Tesh discusses the coddling kids get as they mature: “...we cannot hurt anybody's feelings. So we try to make everyone feel like a winner and we protect kids from anything that may be stressful. No bumps, no bruises, no disappointments, but also none of the challenges of real life.”
It is just this kind of coddling that distorts reality. Children should not be protected from unfairness. Think about it. At “Life is unfair," the writer offers a brief list of issues people consider unfair. Using their list, the most obvious inequities occur when you consider a person’s race, nationality, parental heritage, physical traits, mental capacity, social status, economic status, experiences of life, birth order, age, and religious heritage. Often, there is nothing that can be done about these issues; life is unfair, and children must not be protected from it.
At personal-development.com, in an article, “Life is unfair,” Chuck Gallozzi begins his essay with these sentences: “Yes, there are injustices. Guiltless people are sent to prison. Terrorists make plans to strike at innocent citizens. Facts regarding the poisons in our food are hidden from us. Olympic medals and Academy Awards are presented for political reasons instead of merit.” Certainly you can think of many other injustices that provoke, annoy, and perhaps enrage you; they are not difficult to locate.
Now, it should be clearly noted that because of the coddling many children receive during their upbringing, their only, and I might add, natural, response to unfairness could be described in much the same manner as Gallozzi describes: “All too often those bemoaning the unfairness of the world are just whining that they’re not getting their way. They haven’t grown up yet. Their sense of unfairness is irrational because it is based on childish demands and unrealistic expectations. They want to return to the time that they were infants. For then all they had to do was cry (complain) and someone would come and attend to their needs.”
What I said at the outset of this essay remains true. If each of us — despite all odds and obstacles — worked our hardesst, applied ourselves consistently, and did the best work of which we are capable at all times, the “life is unfair” phrase would likely have little application to our life. These, to me, are winning ways.
But, such a stance doesn’t really address the issue of this essay: life is unfair. That is, how can we best deal with unfairnesses besides working at our peak level? There are several suggestions.
The first, and most important is to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t like your situation, do something about it. There is no need to place blame on yourself or others, but what you need to do is change your attitude. Instead of a victim, become an architect (of your life). Determine what it is you want, figure out what you need to do to become qualified to get (earn?) what you want, make a plan to achieve your goal, and take action.
The second suggestion is to become a team player. As you cooperate with others, you will develop important connections. With the team as your support group, you will contribute to promoting their best interests, just as they will be promoting yours. When others recognize your genuine interest in them, they will cooperate and contribute positively to your best interests, as well.
The third suggestion is to begin to operate based on your thinking and not on your feelings. The problem in believing that life is unfair is that it creates worry and anxiety, and because they require energy, you drain important energy from sound, sensible, reasoned decision making and problem solving.
The fourth suggestion goes back to the results of coddling. Those who are coddled often remain immature and go through life demanding that the world cater to their every wish. In this way, they set themselves up for disappointment, frustration, and resentment. Parents must let children know that things will not always go as they like and that the world is full of unrealized hopes and dreams, but that is not the end of the world. They must learn to not just face disappointments but to cope with them as well. Life is full of both ups and downs; they are unavoidable. What children must be taught is to accept the hurdles life throws at them, and like countless others before them, learn to overcome them and grow stronger because of them. Life is unfair, but the way we deal with it is what counts.
-----
At Oprah.com , in an essay entitled, “What to do when life seems unfair,” there are three suggestions for dealing with unfairness: 1) Get to the heart of the problem, 2) Don’t be a victim, and 3) Shift the way you see the world.
At ProgressiveU.com, there is an essay entitled, “When You Say ‘Life is Unfair’ I say ‘No Duh’,” by Bridge, that makes one of the same points made in the essay above: “We already know that life is unfair, so why bother wasting time to say it? Let’s embrace those challenges that better us in ways we could never fully understand at the time.”
-----
Copyright September, 2010 by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Life is unfair — deal with it! This was an assumption I had throughout my life; I never thought otherwise. And, I determined to level the playing field (get my share) by doing my best. I always thought that if I did my best and succeeded (that is, did well), I would get exactly what I deserved. The problem, I discovered, was that people did not always perceive (or fully realize) another person’s preparation or qualifications; thus, they felt they were not being treated fairly (equally) because they thought they were equal, but if one dug just a little distance below the surface they would discover grave differences, not just minor ones. The problem boiled down to what they “thought” and not what were the facts.
It wasn’t until we had children that “life is unfair” became a fairly commonly used phrase.
We had two boys and two girls, and our job as parents was to continually justify the different treatment each of our children received. It was never the same; not even close. We know of someone else with two girls who were three years apart, and almost since the younger girl was born, the husband felt the girls should be treated equally. What is good for the older child is good for the younger one as well — no matter what it is. This occurred — and became a major bone of contention between the parents — throughout the girls’ childhoods (until the older girl turned twelve). This, of course, is total nonsense, and the father should have been jailed for child abuse. Okay, if not abuse then mistreatment and misconduct at the least.
At the John Tesh Blog, on the topic, “Life is unfair, better get used to it,” Tesh discusses the coddling kids get as they mature: “...we cannot hurt anybody's feelings. So we try to make everyone feel like a winner and we protect kids from anything that may be stressful. No bumps, no bruises, no disappointments, but also none of the challenges of real life.”
It is just this kind of coddling that distorts reality. Children should not be protected from unfairness. Think about it. At “Life is unfair," the writer offers a brief list of issues people consider unfair. Using their list, the most obvious inequities occur when you consider a person’s race, nationality, parental heritage, physical traits, mental capacity, social status, economic status, experiences of life, birth order, age, and religious heritage. Often, there is nothing that can be done about these issues; life is unfair, and children must not be protected from it.
At personal-development.com, in an article, “Life is unfair,” Chuck Gallozzi begins his essay with these sentences: “Yes, there are injustices. Guiltless people are sent to prison. Terrorists make plans to strike at innocent citizens. Facts regarding the poisons in our food are hidden from us. Olympic medals and Academy Awards are presented for political reasons instead of merit.” Certainly you can think of many other injustices that provoke, annoy, and perhaps enrage you; they are not difficult to locate.
Now, it should be clearly noted that because of the coddling many children receive during their upbringing, their only, and I might add, natural, response to unfairness could be described in much the same manner as Gallozzi describes: “All too often those bemoaning the unfairness of the world are just whining that they’re not getting their way. They haven’t grown up yet. Their sense of unfairness is irrational because it is based on childish demands and unrealistic expectations. They want to return to the time that they were infants. For then all they had to do was cry (complain) and someone would come and attend to their needs.”
What I said at the outset of this essay remains true. If each of us — despite all odds and obstacles — worked our hardesst, applied ourselves consistently, and did the best work of which we are capable at all times, the “life is unfair” phrase would likely have little application to our life. These, to me, are winning ways.
But, such a stance doesn’t really address the issue of this essay: life is unfair. That is, how can we best deal with unfairnesses besides working at our peak level? There are several suggestions.
The first, and most important is to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t like your situation, do something about it. There is no need to place blame on yourself or others, but what you need to do is change your attitude. Instead of a victim, become an architect (of your life). Determine what it is you want, figure out what you need to do to become qualified to get (earn?) what you want, make a plan to achieve your goal, and take action.
The second suggestion is to become a team player. As you cooperate with others, you will develop important connections. With the team as your support group, you will contribute to promoting their best interests, just as they will be promoting yours. When others recognize your genuine interest in them, they will cooperate and contribute positively to your best interests, as well.
The third suggestion is to begin to operate based on your thinking and not on your feelings. The problem in believing that life is unfair is that it creates worry and anxiety, and because they require energy, you drain important energy from sound, sensible, reasoned decision making and problem solving.
The fourth suggestion goes back to the results of coddling. Those who are coddled often remain immature and go through life demanding that the world cater to their every wish. In this way, they set themselves up for disappointment, frustration, and resentment. Parents must let children know that things will not always go as they like and that the world is full of unrealized hopes and dreams, but that is not the end of the world. They must learn to not just face disappointments but to cope with them as well. Life is full of both ups and downs; they are unavoidable. What children must be taught is to accept the hurdles life throws at them, and like countless others before them, learn to overcome them and grow stronger because of them. Life is unfair, but the way we deal with it is what counts.
-----
At Oprah.com , in an essay entitled, “What to do when life seems unfair,” there are three suggestions for dealing with unfairness: 1) Get to the heart of the problem, 2) Don’t be a victim, and 3) Shift the way you see the world.
At ProgressiveU.com, there is an essay entitled, “When You Say ‘Life is Unfair’ I say ‘No Duh’,” by Bridge, that makes one of the same points made in the essay above: “We already know that life is unfair, so why bother wasting time to say it? Let’s embrace those challenges that better us in ways we could never fully understand at the time.”
-----
Copyright September, 2010 by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
SMOERs: Words of Wisdom
"Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending." ---Virgina Satir
Day #168 - Take notice of even your smallest gestures.
Day #168 - Take notice of even your smallest gestures.
SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
And Then Some News
Thursday’s essay is called, “Life is unfair.” Not only does it support the point with other people’s opinions, if offers a great deal of personal experience, too. Then, the essay concludes with four useful suggestions for dealing with unfairness in your life.
Share your link. Have you written anything on the unfairness of life? Are you a person who truly believes that life is unfair? Do you know anyone who believes this? Can you share some insights about any of your own (or their) experiences with the inequities of life? How do you/they cope with unfairness? What can be done about it? How serious is it? What would you like to tell people who think life is unfair? Any personal information you would like to share with them? Share your link with us. We’ll post it and move traffic in your direction. And, a big “thank you,” in advance, from AndThenSomeWorks.com, for sharing your link.
Click here to LINK your And Then Some story
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Life is unfair
by Richard L. Weaver II
Excerpt:
Those who are coddled often remain immature and go through life demanding that the world cater to their every wish. In this way, they set themselves up for disappointment, frustration, and resentment. Parents must let children know that things will not always go as they like and that the world is full of unrealized hopes and dreams, but that is not the end of the world. They must learn to not just face disappointments but to cope with them as well. Life is full of both ups and downs; they are unavoidable. What children must be taught is to accept the hurdles life throws at them, and like countless others before them, learn to overcome them and grow stronger because of them. Life is unfair, but the way we deal with it is what counts.
And Then Some Works - see you Thursday!!
Share your link. Have you written anything on the unfairness of life? Are you a person who truly believes that life is unfair? Do you know anyone who believes this? Can you share some insights about any of your own (or their) experiences with the inequities of life? How do you/they cope with unfairness? What can be done about it? How serious is it? What would you like to tell people who think life is unfair? Any personal information you would like to share with them? Share your link with us. We’ll post it and move traffic in your direction. And, a big “thank you,” in advance, from AndThenSomeWorks.com, for sharing your link.
Click here to LINK your And Then Some story
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Life is unfair
by Richard L. Weaver II
Excerpt:
Those who are coddled often remain immature and go through life demanding that the world cater to their every wish. In this way, they set themselves up for disappointment, frustration, and resentment. Parents must let children know that things will not always go as they like and that the world is full of unrealized hopes and dreams, but that is not the end of the world. They must learn to not just face disappointments but to cope with them as well. Life is full of both ups and downs; they are unavoidable. What children must be taught is to accept the hurdles life throws at them, and like countless others before them, learn to overcome them and grow stronger because of them. Life is unfair, but the way we deal with it is what counts.
And Then Some Works - see you Thursday!!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Book Club... And Then Some!
Positivity: Groundbreaking research reveals how to embrace the hidden strength of positive emotions, overcome negativity, and thrive
by Barbara L. Fredrickson
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
by Barbara L. Fredrickson
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
In her review of the book, Bonnie Snyder says, “For me...reading this book narrowed the gap between the major premises of many faith traditions and science. If you are a skeptic she has the numbers that really document how positive emotion shifts your ability to see more options, be physically healthier and how to feel better.” Although there is little doubt that this is a self-help book, Fredrickson does not just use anecdotal evidence to support her ideas. She uses lab research results in addition to other scientific evidence to illustrate her findings. As the review in Publisher’s Weekly noted, “The book includes compelling case studies, concrete tips, a Positivity Self Test and a tool kit for decreasing negativity and raising the positivity ratio.“
The book is divided into two major parts. The first deals with her research on positivity, and the second, application of the research and how to increase a reader’s positivity ratio. There are 10 forms of positivity that Fredrickson discusses — joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love. Her examples are fascinating, her writing style is engaging, and the background and research she brings to her ideas is impressive. In addition to discussing the 10 forms of positivity, also she examines techniques for increasing positivity such as savoring, finding positive meaning, gratitude, kindness, hope, flow experiences, connecting with others, mindfulness, developing distractions, and positivity portfolios. There is something here for everyone.
One thing you will discover as you dig deeply into this book, changing a positivity ratio (trying to achieve a 3 to one ratio) is not an easy, overnight task. Fredrickson uses the analogy of changing the course of a river. It not only takes time, but it takes a great deal of effort as well.
I thought that Annie, a reviewer of the book from Modesto, CA, said it very well, when she said, “‘Positivity’ living is thriving, flourishing, appreciative living. It's looking for what's good and what's right in each person and situation.” That is what this book is all about, however, what you get after reading the book is a solid understanding of, a firm foundation in, and a convincingly sound approach to achieving a positive approach to everyday living. I highly recommend this book.
Find Positivity at Amazon:
Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive
Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive
-----
Ecological intelligence: How knowing the hidden impacts of what we buy can change everything
by Daniel Goleman
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
This book can be reduced to its ultimate simplicity: reduce consumption, and buy smartly. If nothing else, this book will cause you to become aware of the choices you make when you purchase “stuff,” and, at the same time, educate you in how to become more socially responsible. Mark Mccaffrey, from Lafayette, CO, concluded his review of this book by saying that the approach Goleman takes is “well reasoned, well presented investigations into "stuff" in all its shapes and sizes, providing fresh insights into the complexities and hard choices that must be made at all levels of society in order to turn the tide of waste and social/environmental degradation and foster the new energy economy with resilient, sustainable communities.” The examples are interesting, the writing style is engaging, the insights offered are instructive, and, overall, the book is a worthwhile purchase — especially for those unaware of the environmental footprint they are making as a result of the choices and decisions made when purchasing “stuff.”
Find Ecological Intelligence at Amazon:
Ecological Intelligence: How Knowing the Hidden Impacts of What We Buy Can Change Everything
Ecological Intelligence: How Knowing the Hidden Impacts of What We Buy Can Change Everything
----
Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookClubAndThenSome.com website.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday's Joke: Laugh... And Then Some!
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students
of the freshman class, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, so too, the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined
$20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule
the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third
time will incur a hefty fine of $180," said the dean.
The dean continued, "Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much
for a season pass?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
of the freshman class, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, so too, the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined
$20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule
the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third
time will incur a hefty fine of $180," said the dean.
The dean continued, "Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much
for a season pass?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Being totally wired means being more communicative and expressive
by Richard L. Weaver II
I want to admit upfront in this essay that I am not totally wired; however, I spend a great deal of time at my computer, and I have written extensively about the Internet and its effect on various aspects of communication in my textbook, Communicating Effectively, 9th ed. (McGraw-Hill, 2009).
What I want to do in this essay, more than anything else, is simply to document what is happening in our society. It will be outdated, of course, almost as I tap on these keys, but what a benchmark it establishes as technology races forward. This is an essay that will be entertaining to read ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now simply for the contrast it provides to what will be happening at that time. Although teens will be totally wired, the technology will be different.
I am indebted to Anastasia Goodstein and her book, Totally wired: What teens and tweens are really doing online (St. Martin’s Griffin, 2007). I sought this book for the insights Goodstein could provide in helping me write the ninth edition of the book referred to in the first paragraph above: Communicating Effectively. The characterization of teens that follows is Goodstein’s.
When totally wired teenagers today get out of bed in the morning, the first thing they do — before breakfast and before showering — is to fire-up their “at rest” computer to check for messages on Facebook or MySpace (or both). They listen to their MP3 or iTunes to accompany them while getting dressed and put in an earphone so they can listen without bothering anyone else. Before going downstairs for breakfast, they check their cell phone for voice or text messages from their friends.
Totally wired teenagers will call or text their friends on the way to school so they know where they are and where to meet them when they arrive. To protect themselves from having their cell phones confiscated during classes, they turn them to vibrate, but they use them between classes to keep in touch with their friends and plan activities for immediately after school.
Schools have many computers, and students own their own laptops as well. Students use school computers to check their Web e-mail messages, do research for school projects, type projects and papers, and make PowerPoint presentations. Students, for the most part, are more comfortable with computers than most of their teachers, and often students end up answering their teachers’ questions and helping them figure things out.
In English, the teacher created a special website just for his classes that includes the syllabus, course expectations, brief project outlines and papers that must be downloaded, and a FAQ (frequently asked questions) link as well. One feature of the website is an ongoing, up-to-date blog which students are required to respond to using their special class names that only they and their teacher know. This English teacher has received high ratings on Ratemyteacher.com not just because of his use of the computer but how he integrates the computer into classroom activities, maintains a daily question-and-answer page on the website where students can keep up with any aspect of the course about which they have questions, and a “contact me” link where students can contact him or her directly regarding problems, suggestions, or personal insights.
The algebra teacher, unlike the English teacher described above, does not receive high ratings on Ratemyteacher.com. She assigns too much homework (according to the students), sometimes embarrasses them when they don’t know answers, and calls on them when they aren’t paying attention.
Totally wired teenagers often are incredibly busy after school hours. In addition to athletics, homework takes up time, but spending time on the computer dominates. They update their LiveJournal (LJ) entries, post comments on their friends’ Ljs, instant message (IM) their friends and relatives, check their own website blog, add a new entry to it as well. They go to their MySpace or FaceBook (often, both) profile to keep in touch with distant friends and to tell friends what they’re doing at the moment. They may even keep tabs on boyfriends’ or girlfriends’ online profiles, sometimes leaving flirtatious comments, posting recent pictures of themselves or cute photos of them together. Although they like having boyfriends and girlfriends, they realize such contacts take time.
During after school hours, time is spent, too, interspersed within all of this, sending and reading e-mail and text messages. If there is even a little time remaining, they may surf the Internet, enter a chat room, post a note on a message board, hang out on community sites, or just go back through all of their contacts to see recent answers to their questions, the latest posts, or update what they’re doing at the moment — an activity that demands freshness and up-to-date posts. Sometimes they just relax with their MP3 or iTunes plugged into their ear reading a website about their favorite singer, actor, or entertainer.
When they are away from home, it is not uncommon to receive cell phone messages from parents who are just checking in. When they are somewhere they know their parents would not like, they lie and tell them they’re somewhere else. As long as they answer their cell phones when their parents call, they get away with it. When at parties, it is not uncommon to receive text messages from someone across the room, telling them to check out someone else, or talking about someone else who is in the same room.
When they hang out with friends, they go see movies, rent DVDs, download videos from the Internet, play video games on their Nintendo DS or BlackBerry, or watch others play video games, and just talk as they watch for text messages or communicate with someone else on their cell phones. They find such multitasking comfortable and easy, and most students perform multitasking when they do their homework, work at their computer, watch DVDs, or play on their wii or Xbox 360.
Today’s teenagers spend enormous amounts of time socializing with friends, love listening to music and playing games, actively use their computers for socializing, doing homework, and researching papers and projects, and find it easy getting information of all kinds from the Internet. Because of the Internet, gossip travels quickly just as negative information and mean pictures. Writing diaries, once considered a personal form of expression, has become public documentation and sharing diaries, emotional experiences, and likes and dislikes is common practice on blogs, FaceBook, or MySpace.
“There are more opportunities for teens to express themselves and distribute their work as writers, artists, videographers, or podcasters (Internet radio hosts who create audio recordings you can download from the Web)” (p. 13), writes Goodstein. There is no doubt that totally wired teens raise new issues of privacy and safety, but it may be, too, they are becoming more communicative and expressive at the same time. We live in a far more verbal world than ever before — and what appropriate preparation and rehearsal for a life of running everywhere with BlackBerry, cell phone, and laptop in hand, as amply demonstrated by America’s professional class.
-----
Melissa McNamara, at the CBS News website , has a wonderful essay entitled, “Teens Are Wired ... And, Yes, It's OK,” in which she echoes many of the ideas discussed in this essay. It is a short essay well worth a read.
An introduction to Anastasia Goodstein’s book, Totally Wired can be found at the Google Book Search website. Here you can look at the contents, acknowledgments, introduction, and some of the contents as well.
-----
Copyright April, 2010 - And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
I want to admit upfront in this essay that I am not totally wired; however, I spend a great deal of time at my computer, and I have written extensively about the Internet and its effect on various aspects of communication in my textbook, Communicating Effectively, 9th ed. (McGraw-Hill, 2009).
What I want to do in this essay, more than anything else, is simply to document what is happening in our society. It will be outdated, of course, almost as I tap on these keys, but what a benchmark it establishes as technology races forward. This is an essay that will be entertaining to read ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now simply for the contrast it provides to what will be happening at that time. Although teens will be totally wired, the technology will be different.
I am indebted to Anastasia Goodstein and her book, Totally wired: What teens and tweens are really doing online (St. Martin’s Griffin, 2007). I sought this book for the insights Goodstein could provide in helping me write the ninth edition of the book referred to in the first paragraph above: Communicating Effectively. The characterization of teens that follows is Goodstein’s.
When totally wired teenagers today get out of bed in the morning, the first thing they do — before breakfast and before showering — is to fire-up their “at rest” computer to check for messages on Facebook or MySpace (or both). They listen to their MP3 or iTunes to accompany them while getting dressed and put in an earphone so they can listen without bothering anyone else. Before going downstairs for breakfast, they check their cell phone for voice or text messages from their friends.
Totally wired teenagers will call or text their friends on the way to school so they know where they are and where to meet them when they arrive. To protect themselves from having their cell phones confiscated during classes, they turn them to vibrate, but they use them between classes to keep in touch with their friends and plan activities for immediately after school.
Schools have many computers, and students own their own laptops as well. Students use school computers to check their Web e-mail messages, do research for school projects, type projects and papers, and make PowerPoint presentations. Students, for the most part, are more comfortable with computers than most of their teachers, and often students end up answering their teachers’ questions and helping them figure things out.
In English, the teacher created a special website just for his classes that includes the syllabus, course expectations, brief project outlines and papers that must be downloaded, and a FAQ (frequently asked questions) link as well. One feature of the website is an ongoing, up-to-date blog which students are required to respond to using their special class names that only they and their teacher know. This English teacher has received high ratings on Ratemyteacher.com not just because of his use of the computer but how he integrates the computer into classroom activities, maintains a daily question-and-answer page on the website where students can keep up with any aspect of the course about which they have questions, and a “contact me” link where students can contact him or her directly regarding problems, suggestions, or personal insights.
The algebra teacher, unlike the English teacher described above, does not receive high ratings on Ratemyteacher.com. She assigns too much homework (according to the students), sometimes embarrasses them when they don’t know answers, and calls on them when they aren’t paying attention.
Totally wired teenagers often are incredibly busy after school hours. In addition to athletics, homework takes up time, but spending time on the computer dominates. They update their LiveJournal (LJ) entries, post comments on their friends’ Ljs, instant message (IM) their friends and relatives, check their own website blog, add a new entry to it as well. They go to their MySpace or FaceBook (often, both) profile to keep in touch with distant friends and to tell friends what they’re doing at the moment. They may even keep tabs on boyfriends’ or girlfriends’ online profiles, sometimes leaving flirtatious comments, posting recent pictures of themselves or cute photos of them together. Although they like having boyfriends and girlfriends, they realize such contacts take time.
During after school hours, time is spent, too, interspersed within all of this, sending and reading e-mail and text messages. If there is even a little time remaining, they may surf the Internet, enter a chat room, post a note on a message board, hang out on community sites, or just go back through all of their contacts to see recent answers to their questions, the latest posts, or update what they’re doing at the moment — an activity that demands freshness and up-to-date posts. Sometimes they just relax with their MP3 or iTunes plugged into their ear reading a website about their favorite singer, actor, or entertainer.
When they are away from home, it is not uncommon to receive cell phone messages from parents who are just checking in. When they are somewhere they know their parents would not like, they lie and tell them they’re somewhere else. As long as they answer their cell phones when their parents call, they get away with it. When at parties, it is not uncommon to receive text messages from someone across the room, telling them to check out someone else, or talking about someone else who is in the same room.
When they hang out with friends, they go see movies, rent DVDs, download videos from the Internet, play video games on their Nintendo DS or BlackBerry, or watch others play video games, and just talk as they watch for text messages or communicate with someone else on their cell phones. They find such multitasking comfortable and easy, and most students perform multitasking when they do their homework, work at their computer, watch DVDs, or play on their wii or Xbox 360.
Today’s teenagers spend enormous amounts of time socializing with friends, love listening to music and playing games, actively use their computers for socializing, doing homework, and researching papers and projects, and find it easy getting information of all kinds from the Internet. Because of the Internet, gossip travels quickly just as negative information and mean pictures. Writing diaries, once considered a personal form of expression, has become public documentation and sharing diaries, emotional experiences, and likes and dislikes is common practice on blogs, FaceBook, or MySpace.
“There are more opportunities for teens to express themselves and distribute their work as writers, artists, videographers, or podcasters (Internet radio hosts who create audio recordings you can download from the Web)” (p. 13), writes Goodstein. There is no doubt that totally wired teens raise new issues of privacy and safety, but it may be, too, they are becoming more communicative and expressive at the same time. We live in a far more verbal world than ever before — and what appropriate preparation and rehearsal for a life of running everywhere with BlackBerry, cell phone, and laptop in hand, as amply demonstrated by America’s professional class.
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Melissa McNamara, at the CBS News website , has a wonderful essay entitled, “Teens Are Wired ... And, Yes, It's OK,” in which she echoes many of the ideas discussed in this essay. It is a short essay well worth a read.
An introduction to Anastasia Goodstein’s book, Totally Wired can be found at the Google Book Search website. Here you can look at the contents, acknowledgments, introduction, and some of the contents as well.
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Copyright April, 2010 - And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
SMOERs: Words of Wisdom
"In general those who nothing have to say
Contrive to spend the longest time in doing it." ---Lowell
Day #167 - Let thinking guide your talking. SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 10-Day sample: smoers.com
Contrive to spend the longest time in doing it." ---Lowell
Day #167 - Let thinking guide your talking. SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 10-Day sample: smoers.com
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
News... And Then Some!
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Staff Writer, Anthony Weaver
We are "expecting" anytime now. Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Girls will be delivered at anytime. Admittedly there have some small issues with getting the girl book posted to Amazon.com. Heck, all that's missing from the Amazon listing of Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys is the description, yet this has also been fraught with complications. We believe we have found the errors, and adjustments are being made. Special Delivery for girls should post to Amazon soon and we'll post a link as quickly as it's available.
With what we're hearing about Special Delivery... And this is only hearsay reviews... the books cover more events, holidays, and special events... There's plenty of room to not only write the great memories of the birth of your child, but you can add pictures as well! We will be adding more "customer images" at Amazon so you can see what Special Delivery is all about. Click the book link and get your copy of of Special Delivery for boys.
On March 1, 2010 the first part of Edgar E. Willis' video, How to be Funny on Purpose: The Anatomy of Humor will be released. That's not too far away folks. It's time to get excited!
Thursday’s essay, “Being totally wired means being more communicative and expressive,” is an essay that focuses on how technology affects teenagers and tweenies. Is being totally wired making them more communicative and expressive? This essay simply documents what is happening.
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview
Being totally wired means being more communicative and expressive
by Richard L. Weaver II
Excerpt:
“There are more opportunities for teens to express themselves and distribute their work as writers, artists, videographers, or podcasters (Internet radio hosts who create audio recordings you can download from the Web)” (p. 13), writes Goodstein. There is no doubt that totally wired teens raise new issues of privacy and safety, but it may be, too, they are becoming more communicative and expressive at the same time. We live in a far more verbal world than ever before — and what appropriate preparation and rehearsal for a life of running everywhere with BlackBerry, cell phone, and laptop in hand, as amply demonstrated by America’s professional class.
And Then Some Works!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Book Review Mondays
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
by Daniel Tammet
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
This book could easily be called “self-help for the brain” — as one reviewer of the book noted. Written in a simple, engaging style that is straightforward, Tammet (an autistic savant) offers his insights, research results, and opinions much as a professor lecturing to students; however, you must not allow this approach to render the book unapproachable or difficult. Indeed, this is a primer on the human brain, and through Tammet’s descriptions, you will quickly discover the immense potential we all possess.
I was fascinated with Tammet’s explanation of how he recited the mathematical constant Pi (3.141) from memory to 22,514 decimal places, or how he remembers the dates of the kings and queens of England or the presidents of the United States. This book allows you inside the mind of a savant as much as it educates you in how the mind developed, works, and can work more effectively. His insights on language and the language instinct, and numbers and the numbers instinct, creativityas a result of hyperconnectivity in the brain, are both instructive and astounding. The stories, examples, studies, and personal experiences will hold your attention.
His challenge to readers can be captured on page 219, where he says, “[Cultivate] a healthy curiosity about yourself and the lives and the world around you. Never stop asking questions, even if the answers seem far removed from your ability to immediately glimpse or grasp them. Find joy in learning.”
This is a fascinating, gripping, and highly informative book that I highly recommend.
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Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
by Alan M. Webber
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
Here is one of those books you can pick up, read a little, learn something new, then put down until you have another moment. The brief essays/rules are stimulating, accurate, and interesting, and because each is supported with an example, story, personal experience, or fascinating anecdote, the book will both grab your attention and hold it. From the front flyleaf, it describes the rules as “a collection that is as wise as it is useful and as honest as it is helpful.” Some of the rules that I found useful and instructive were, “Learn to take no as a question,” “Facts are facts; stories are how we learn,” “The soft stuff is the hard stuff,” “Words matter,” “Everything communicates,” “Everything is a performance,” “Don’t confuse credentials with talent,” “Failure isn’t failing. Failure is failing to try,” and “Take your work seriously. Yourself, not so much.” This book is a joy to read, and having it at arm’s length means you can read it and read it and read it — whenever you choose. It’s truly a gem of a book.
----
Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookWorksRules.com website.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow
Little Johnny asked his Grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how
old would you be if you let go?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how
old would you be if you let go?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Relationship success results from a union of differences
by Richard L. Weaver II
When two people come together in a relationship, it is (and has to be) a union of differences. It cannot be overlooked. It cannot be escaped. And, if it is not accommodated in some manner, the relationship is unlikely to succeed.
The essential relationship question is this: How can relationship partners use their differences to enhance their relationship? Let’s use Valentine’s Day, 2010, as a celebration of differences for, often, it is those differences that bring the thrill, delight, and pleasure to relationships (if they don’t destroy them). In this essay are four suggestions for using differences to enhance relationships.
Accept each other’s differences. For a satisfying relationship, you and your partner must learn to accept each other’s differences. One of the joys of intimacy is learning to receive and to know fully a person different from yourself. Too often these differences are allowed to drive people apart because one partner is unwilling to allow the other to be himself or herself.
Another problem is competition. Sometimes you may reject your partner’s differences and begin to compete with him or her. This often happens in today’s world, but if you talk about it you will realize that a strength for one of you—either one of you—will be a strength for both of you. Although competition may be friendly at first, it can become critical, destructive, and lead to the disintegration of the relationship.
See differences as a chance for intimacy. Differences can provide a great opportunity for intimacy. One of the biggest contributions you can make to the development of trust and respect in a relationship is to understand your partner as a unique human being.
Use the following ideas to stimulate conversation and discussion. Clarify your perspectives about how you think about your differences and how they make you feel. Keep in mind that your perspective on your differences will have a lot to do with how you feel about them, and in turn, how you will respond to them.
Clarify your views about your differences before problems arise. All of your interactions exist within a relationship matrix. The stronger and healthier your relationship is, the more likely it is that your partner will give you the benefit of the doubt, which in turn reduces the likelihood of escalation if conflicts arise because of your differences.
Check out each other’s hot button.” Both you and your partner have your own triggers or “hot buttons” that set off feelings of anger, unfairness, injury, insult, or hurt. By becoming familiar with each other’s “hot buttons,” you will know in advance which situations are more likely to trigger an unfavorable response on your part or on the part of your partner. In this way, you can be better prepared to deal with differences effectively.
Dealing with hot buttons calls for a two part response: finding alternative perspectives so you are less bothered; and slowing down your physiological response to your anger or anxiety. Keep these responses ready to use in case you find your hot buttons are being pushed.
Strive at all times and in all situations to promote empathy. Empathy is especially important throughout this process of discussing differences because when you and your partner seek to understand each other’s views, it is one way to demonstrate respect. This process is facilitated by paraphrasing—when one partner states his or her view and the other re-states it—in order to let the other know that he or she has been heard. When both partners engage in this process, there is often a noticeable and immediate reduction in tension and a quicker discovery of solutions.
See differences as complementary. An effective relationship rests on the formula, “One plus one equals three.” This simply means that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Each person in an intimate relationship is a unique human being who brings his or her uniqueness to the relationship.
When you add the strength of one partner to the strength of the other, the result is a sum that could not be achieved by either acting separately. Hence, one plus one equals three instead of two.
Sometimes it is the differences that keep the intimate relationship strong. One partner is a socially quiet person, and the other is an outgoing person. The socially quiet person help contain the excesses of the other, while the outgoing person helps draw out and encourage the socially quiet one.
See communication as essential. Lack of communication in a relationship may indicate general withdrawal, unwillingness to engage in self-disclosure, reduced supportiveness, or a lack of complete trust—all indicators that the relationship may be disintegrating. But communication itself does not guarantee intimacy. If one partner is using communication to deceive their partner or evaluate, manipulate, or exploit them, the relationship is obviously faltering.
Good communication allow you to manage relationships to be mutually satisfying for both you and your partner. Whether the relationship is to be changed or dissolved, communication is essential to such negotiation. Remember, a relationship is not a stagnant, unchanging entity, rather, it is a constantly evolving, developing, transforming, and progressing life form. This is what keeps it exciting and energizing, but this is, too, what makes communication essential. How do you keep up with the changes without talking about them?
Honesty is the most important element. How can you detect honesty in your relationship? If you can express your needs, dissatisfactions, fears, and unfilled ambitions, it is likely there is honesty. If you can look honestly at yourself, your partner and the relationship, there is likely to be honesty. If you can bend and change with spontaneity and flexibility there is likely to be honesty. If you can remain open to your partner’s feelings and alternative points of view, there is likely to be honesty. Also, if you can truly converse, discuss, and share ideas without name calling, labeling, and other biased approaches, there is likely to be honesty.
If you can accept each other’s differences, see them as a chance for intimacy, as complimentary, and communication as essential, then you certainly have a relationship worth celebrating. These ideas come from the book Relationship Rules: For long-term happiness, security, and commitment and these thoughts, and many more like them, can be obtained from Amazon.com.
-----
At SearchYourLove there is a great essay, “Intimacy And Friendship Are Key To A Lasting Relationship,” that discusses the important role that intimacy and friendship play in successful romantic relationships.
At Marriage Success Training, the essay there, “Marriage Facts: Seven Keys to Success,” is an advertisement for their training program; however, the advertisement offers a great deal of advice in short, pithy, bullet points that are easy to read and understand.
At Ezine@rticles, the one entitled, “Keys to a Successful Marriage - Building Intimacy and Trust” by
Brian Leiphart offers a great deal of useful advice and suggestions.
-----
Copyright February 2010 by And Then Some Publishing, LLC
When two people come together in a relationship, it is (and has to be) a union of differences. It cannot be overlooked. It cannot be escaped. And, if it is not accommodated in some manner, the relationship is unlikely to succeed.
The essential relationship question is this: How can relationship partners use their differences to enhance their relationship? Let’s use Valentine’s Day, 2010, as a celebration of differences for, often, it is those differences that bring the thrill, delight, and pleasure to relationships (if they don’t destroy them). In this essay are four suggestions for using differences to enhance relationships.
Accept each other’s differences. For a satisfying relationship, you and your partner must learn to accept each other’s differences. One of the joys of intimacy is learning to receive and to know fully a person different from yourself. Too often these differences are allowed to drive people apart because one partner is unwilling to allow the other to be himself or herself.
Another problem is competition. Sometimes you may reject your partner’s differences and begin to compete with him or her. This often happens in today’s world, but if you talk about it you will realize that a strength for one of you—either one of you—will be a strength for both of you. Although competition may be friendly at first, it can become critical, destructive, and lead to the disintegration of the relationship.
See differences as a chance for intimacy. Differences can provide a great opportunity for intimacy. One of the biggest contributions you can make to the development of trust and respect in a relationship is to understand your partner as a unique human being.
Use the following ideas to stimulate conversation and discussion. Clarify your perspectives about how you think about your differences and how they make you feel. Keep in mind that your perspective on your differences will have a lot to do with how you feel about them, and in turn, how you will respond to them.
Clarify your views about your differences before problems arise. All of your interactions exist within a relationship matrix. The stronger and healthier your relationship is, the more likely it is that your partner will give you the benefit of the doubt, which in turn reduces the likelihood of escalation if conflicts arise because of your differences.
Check out each other’s hot button.” Both you and your partner have your own triggers or “hot buttons” that set off feelings of anger, unfairness, injury, insult, or hurt. By becoming familiar with each other’s “hot buttons,” you will know in advance which situations are more likely to trigger an unfavorable response on your part or on the part of your partner. In this way, you can be better prepared to deal with differences effectively.
Dealing with hot buttons calls for a two part response: finding alternative perspectives so you are less bothered; and slowing down your physiological response to your anger or anxiety. Keep these responses ready to use in case you find your hot buttons are being pushed.
Strive at all times and in all situations to promote empathy. Empathy is especially important throughout this process of discussing differences because when you and your partner seek to understand each other’s views, it is one way to demonstrate respect. This process is facilitated by paraphrasing—when one partner states his or her view and the other re-states it—in order to let the other know that he or she has been heard. When both partners engage in this process, there is often a noticeable and immediate reduction in tension and a quicker discovery of solutions.
See differences as complementary. An effective relationship rests on the formula, “One plus one equals three.” This simply means that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Each person in an intimate relationship is a unique human being who brings his or her uniqueness to the relationship.
When you add the strength of one partner to the strength of the other, the result is a sum that could not be achieved by either acting separately. Hence, one plus one equals three instead of two.
Sometimes it is the differences that keep the intimate relationship strong. One partner is a socially quiet person, and the other is an outgoing person. The socially quiet person help contain the excesses of the other, while the outgoing person helps draw out and encourage the socially quiet one.
See communication as essential. Lack of communication in a relationship may indicate general withdrawal, unwillingness to engage in self-disclosure, reduced supportiveness, or a lack of complete trust—all indicators that the relationship may be disintegrating. But communication itself does not guarantee intimacy. If one partner is using communication to deceive their partner or evaluate, manipulate, or exploit them, the relationship is obviously faltering.
Good communication allow you to manage relationships to be mutually satisfying for both you and your partner. Whether the relationship is to be changed or dissolved, communication is essential to such negotiation. Remember, a relationship is not a stagnant, unchanging entity, rather, it is a constantly evolving, developing, transforming, and progressing life form. This is what keeps it exciting and energizing, but this is, too, what makes communication essential. How do you keep up with the changes without talking about them?
Honesty is the most important element. How can you detect honesty in your relationship? If you can express your needs, dissatisfactions, fears, and unfilled ambitions, it is likely there is honesty. If you can look honestly at yourself, your partner and the relationship, there is likely to be honesty. If you can bend and change with spontaneity and flexibility there is likely to be honesty. If you can remain open to your partner’s feelings and alternative points of view, there is likely to be honesty. Also, if you can truly converse, discuss, and share ideas without name calling, labeling, and other biased approaches, there is likely to be honesty.
If you can accept each other’s differences, see them as a chance for intimacy, as complimentary, and communication as essential, then you certainly have a relationship worth celebrating. These ideas come from the book Relationship Rules: For long-term happiness, security, and commitment and these thoughts, and many more like them, can be obtained from Amazon.com.
-----
At SearchYourLove there is a great essay, “Intimacy And Friendship Are Key To A Lasting Relationship,” that discusses the important role that intimacy and friendship play in successful romantic relationships.
At Marriage Success Training, the essay there, “Marriage Facts: Seven Keys to Success,” is an advertisement for their training program; however, the advertisement offers a great deal of advice in short, pithy, bullet points that are easy to read and understand.
At Ezine@rticles, the one entitled, “Keys to a Successful Marriage - Building Intimacy and Trust” by
Brian Leiphart offers a great deal of useful advice and suggestions.
-----
Copyright February 2010 by And Then Some Publishing, LLC
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
SMOERs: Words of Wisdom
"The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival...because when you are unhappy, you also throw unhappiness all around." ---Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Day #165 - Enjoy being festive. SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! -
Day #165 - Enjoy being festive. SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! -
SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
News... And Then Some!
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Staff Writer, Anthony Weaver
Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook, for boys is now available at Amazon! Sure the information isn't currently correct... Lynne Weaver and Anthony Hall wrote the book? That produced a laugh right from the gut that sustains as the corrections are already being made. Yes, there was a boo-boo somewhere, but by Saturday, February 13, 2010 the meta data (product information including the description) should be corrected. Plus, there will be added pages beyond Amazon's "Look Inside/Search Inside" program so you can get a better idea of how fantastic this book is!
You don't have to wait for the corrections... get Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook, for boys NOW at Amazon by clicking the book link in this post. Review the book and let us know what you think.
Discover new pages of Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform at Amazon! Praise for the World War II memoir, picture pages, and Edgar E. Willis' biography page have been uploaded for your viewing pleasure. The new pages should be available by Friday, February 12, 2010. See the new pages by clicking the Amazon book link in this post. When you get to Amazon.com, click the link under the picture of the book see all customer images. If you don't see more than 5 images then click "reload/refresh" in your browser. You should be able to see more than 15 images of the book really soon!
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Don't forget about Relationship Rules: For Long-Term Happiness, Security, and Commitment. This book is perfect as a Valentine’s gift for within it are suggestions, steps, and additional ideas that will motivate, encourage, and challenge relationship partners. Whether you purchase it for yourself, your relationship partner, or someone else planning to enter a relationship, already within a relationship, or just leaving a relationship, it makes an extraordinary gift that will positively influence the future. It is available now at Amazon.com.
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Relationship Success Results from a Union of Differences
by Richard L. Weaver II
Excerpt:
The essential relationship question is this: How can relationship partners use their differences to enhance their relationship? Let’s use Valentine’s Day, 2010, as a celebration of differences for, often, it is those differences that bring the thrill, delight, and pleasure to relationships (if they don’t destroy them). In this essay are four suggestions for using differences to enhance relationships.
And Then Some Works!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Book Club... And Then Some!
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Get Motivated! Overcome any obstacle, achieve any goal, and accelerate your success with motivational DNA
by Tamara Lowe
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
This is exactly the kind of book to which I am not attracted, especially when you read the lengthy subtitle or when you notice that for a book of 267 pages of text, there are only a meager 25 endnotes total for the whole book. DNA stands for “drives,” “needs,” and “awards,” and as the title of the book suggests, they are the heart or core of the book.
There are a number of useful ideas in this book that, according to the front flyleaf, is “grounded in eight years of research with more than ten thousand people — which simply means Lowe has “trained more than two million people in seventy countries” (written in her brief biography on the back flyleaf). We’re not talking formal, documented, controlled experimentation.
The first useful idea is that plotting your own DNA (how you are best motivated) is easy to do, and once done by following Lowe’s perameters, there is a chapter to describe you. The second useful idea is the way Lowe has categorized the eight motivational types: 1) directors, 2) visionaries, 3) chiefs, 4) champions, 5) supporters, 6) relaters, 7) refiners, and 8) explorers. I wish I had taken the time to plot my own DNA so I could share it with you; however, from just looking at the categories, if I had to guess at my own DNA, it looks like I might traverse a number of categories — but I don’t know.
The third useful idea is how each “communication style” differs. Each one is clearly and explicitly explained in a separate chapter.
There is much useful and interesting information on motivation. Her Chapter 16, “Finish First,” and the related 31, “Motivational Rules of Life,” (“Follow them,” she writes, “and success will follow you” — p. 248) are outstanding.
For a book to which I was initially not attracted, this is a well written, practical (applied), fun book, full of great quotations, useful advice, and a sense of enthusiasm and positive spirit. It is definitely a valuable book. You’ll enjoy it.
The lost art of listening: How learning to listen can improve relationships, 2nd ed.
by Michael P. Nichols
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I have written about relationships all of my professional life, and I have included information on relationships in my textbook, Understanding Interpersonal Communication — which, I might add, is “on sale” at Amazon.com for $124.20! Also, I have co-authored a book on listening (with Curt Bechler) which is out-of-print, but Amazon.com lists the book, Listen to Win, “on sale” for $70.00! I mention these as my credentials for reviewing The Lost Art of Listening, which is a book that directly relates the two (relationships and listening), and I want to mention at the outset that this book deserves accolades and recommendations. It is well-written and a true pleasure to read. It is full of practical, applied information, which means you can both understand and use the information immediately. Also, it touches on the very core of the listening problem: that we seldom listen well to the important people in our lives. Most people think they already listen well so would not even consider this book relevant. The “Quiz” on pages 67-69 (along with directions for scoring the results) may help disabuse readers of this belief.
In this 314-page paperback (with a 5 1/2-page index), some may believe the book too forbidding at first glance; however, the author offers numerous examples, interesting and useful boxed inserts, short sections, highlighted (boldface) quotations that offer suggestions and insights, and end-of-chapter exercises that assist you in applying chapter information. It is clear just from a quick glance through the book that Nichols is an accomplished textbook writer — all the essential ancillaries are here. (If you check out his other books at Amazon.com, you will notice from the number of books and froml the reviews, that Nichols has achieved success in a number of subject areas.)
There is no doubt that following the author’s guidelines will not only make you a better listener, but they will contribute positively to improved relationships (his main point!). I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Every parent should read it, and anyone, too, who is planning to enter, is already in, or has experienced any failed relationships in the past desperately needs the information in this book.
----
Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookWorksRules.com website.
by Tamara Lowe
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
This is exactly the kind of book to which I am not attracted, especially when you read the lengthy subtitle or when you notice that for a book of 267 pages of text, there are only a meager 25 endnotes total for the whole book. DNA stands for “drives,” “needs,” and “awards,” and as the title of the book suggests, they are the heart or core of the book.
There are a number of useful ideas in this book that, according to the front flyleaf, is “grounded in eight years of research with more than ten thousand people — which simply means Lowe has “trained more than two million people in seventy countries” (written in her brief biography on the back flyleaf). We’re not talking formal, documented, controlled experimentation.
The first useful idea is that plotting your own DNA (how you are best motivated) is easy to do, and once done by following Lowe’s perameters, there is a chapter to describe you. The second useful idea is the way Lowe has categorized the eight motivational types: 1) directors, 2) visionaries, 3) chiefs, 4) champions, 5) supporters, 6) relaters, 7) refiners, and 8) explorers. I wish I had taken the time to plot my own DNA so I could share it with you; however, from just looking at the categories, if I had to guess at my own DNA, it looks like I might traverse a number of categories — but I don’t know.
The third useful idea is how each “communication style” differs. Each one is clearly and explicitly explained in a separate chapter.
There is much useful and interesting information on motivation. Her Chapter 16, “Finish First,” and the related 31, “Motivational Rules of Life,” (“Follow them,” she writes, “and success will follow you” — p. 248) are outstanding.
For a book to which I was initially not attracted, this is a well written, practical (applied), fun book, full of great quotations, useful advice, and a sense of enthusiasm and positive spirit. It is definitely a valuable book. You’ll enjoy it.
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
by Michael P. Nichols
Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
I have written about relationships all of my professional life, and I have included information on relationships in my textbook, Understanding Interpersonal Communication — which, I might add, is “on sale” at Amazon.com for $124.20! Also, I have co-authored a book on listening (with Curt Bechler) which is out-of-print, but Amazon.com lists the book, Listen to Win, “on sale” for $70.00! I mention these as my credentials for reviewing The Lost Art of Listening, which is a book that directly relates the two (relationships and listening), and I want to mention at the outset that this book deserves accolades and recommendations. It is well-written and a true pleasure to read. It is full of practical, applied information, which means you can both understand and use the information immediately. Also, it touches on the very core of the listening problem: that we seldom listen well to the important people in our lives. Most people think they already listen well so would not even consider this book relevant. The “Quiz” on pages 67-69 (along with directions for scoring the results) may help disabuse readers of this belief.
In this 314-page paperback (with a 5 1/2-page index), some may believe the book too forbidding at first glance; however, the author offers numerous examples, interesting and useful boxed inserts, short sections, highlighted (boldface) quotations that offer suggestions and insights, and end-of-chapter exercises that assist you in applying chapter information. It is clear just from a quick glance through the book that Nichols is an accomplished textbook writer — all the essential ancillaries are here. (If you check out his other books at Amazon.com, you will notice from the number of books and froml the reviews, that Nichols has achieved success in a number of subject areas.)
There is no doubt that following the author’s guidelines will not only make you a better listener, but they will contribute positively to improved relationships (his main point!). I recommend this book without hesitation or reservation. Every parent should read it, and anyone, too, who is planning to enter, is already in, or has experienced any failed relationships in the past desperately needs the information in this book.
----
Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookWorksRules.com website.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow
Bob couldn't believe it---he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show.
"Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!"
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
"Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars!"
"This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?"
Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first."
The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation.
"Okay, Bob here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet
From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Spring 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Surprise comes in many shapes and sizes; it’s coping that counts
by Richard L. Weaver II
I was looking for a topic to write about; often I make notes or outline an essay subtly on a small pad in my lap during church services. This time it was the sermon topic itself, “Surprised by God,” by Georganna Mawer, that provided the spark that led to this essay. Surprise! The topic was right in front of me. This happens often, and I never cease to be amazed at the occurrence when I am looking for a topic to write about, and I find it offered, as if on a silver platter..
Surprises often jump out at us when we least expect them. (Of course, that's why they're labeled "surprises"!) Sometimes they are welcome, at other times they leave us in awe and utter shock. They can be small as when we find something around the house that has been missing for some time. Or, they can be huge as when a woman finds herself unexpectedly pregnant — exciting for many, but a surprise that can cause some to feel anxious, depressed, and afraid of what the future holds.
The most surprising thing that could happen in our future would be that it offered no surprises. Because the future has surprised us so often in the past, it would be inconceivable to have a future with no surprises. Those events that will be really startling and have important consequences, futurists have called wild cards. Wild cards have the potential to radically change many people’s thinking and planning. You plan a vacation, for example, and an important family member suddenly dies, and just as suddenly all your time, effort, attention, and finances must be directed elsewhere. Vacation plans now seem frivolous, meaningless, and beside the point.
What we must learn to do in the face of surprises — especially those futurists have labeled wild cards (those that push our buttons or trigger our adrenaline) — is to pull back and take some time to think. Before reacting with an emotional outburst, a nasty letter, or vile e-mail, we must think about the ramifications. The point is that we should never respond quickly just to be done with the matter. It’s a male tendency. That’s what gets many of us in trouble. It is when we are most prone to making mistakes — our emotions control us not our thoughts, and we are likely to say or do exactly the wrong thing.
In the face of surprises, we might want to take a long walk, breathe deeply a few times, and find time to research the facts. The world is not black and white — I am right and the other person is wrong — and there are any number of other alternatives to what is proposed or what has happened, and any alternative is strengthened when buttressed with facts. The key is thinking before acting.
Sometimes the answer lies in why the other person might think or act the way they do. When you count to 10, or even 100, when you feel like striking out and responding immediately, or take that long walk before presuming to know the “real truth” about a situation, the other person’s motives may become obvious. Think about it. Before ascribing sinister motives to others, ask, “Are they under stress that is causing them to react more strongly than what the issue warrants?” Before shooting back a potentially damaging reply, could the surprising event be but a feather floating softly across your horizon? Think about it. Can you simply watch it float by without reacting to it? Many answers lie in no answer at all!
Sometimes the answer to a surprise is not clear. Ask a friend, co-worker, another family member, priest, pastor, or rabbi how they would handle this. Think about it. Consider the possibility, as just noted, of not responding at all, and see how things are in a few days.
It is true that even with a boatload of suggestions, it won’t prevent people from occasionally doing something stupid or unfortunate. Just controlling our own behavior on a daily basis is a constant and formidable challenge. Even those who are older and considered by many to be mature adults struggle with this at times. There is no handbook, and even if there were, it is unlikely to cover every circumstance, all possible conditions, and each incident when and where you could be taken by surprise — and then, definitive instructions on how to handle it. Controlling the behavior of others — to limit the surprises they create for us — is totally outside our ability, much as we would like to believe that we can tell others what is wrong with them and what they should do to fix it! Even if we could, others are likely to take unkindly to instruction, training, or enlightenment from others who are outside the teaching, training, or instructional professions. Often, people take unkindly to instruction no matter the source!
There are ways to cope with surprises, but remember, a surprise would not be a surprise if you could completely anticipate and prepare for it. First, be yourself. As authentically as you can be, be aware that you are not going to agree with everyone all the time. Disagreements, arguments, and conflicts are part of life, and the best way to cope is to be yourself.
Second, be kind to yourself, and be gentle with others. Remember that other people, no matter how they have surprised you, are human beings who suffer the same challenges as you. Part of being gentle with others is to assume that their motives are pure and that they are only trying to deal with things as they see them. When you reveal empathy — trying to see the world as they do — it helps keep things in perspective. Be cautious in how you react to others
The third way to cope with surprises is to get plenty of rest, exercise, and good nutrition. Dealing with life’s stresses — let alone the surprises that are dished out along the way to keep you on your toes — requires all the strength, fortitude, and resilience you can muster. That strength of character, backbone, and courage must come from a firm, solid, and sturdy foundation.
The fourth way to cope with surprises is to be completely and brutally honest with yourself about how you contributed to any conflict, misunderstanding, or surprise. If the surprise came via e-mail, text message, letter, or phone call, you could make yourself a pledge not to respond until the next day — if that is possible. This will give you time to think about the roots of the conflict or misunderstanding. Even if you wait until later in the day, you will have time to consider what your response might mean and how you can react in a more positive manner. Instead of sending a response, call the person and chat or, better yet, talk in person. Try to avoid tacking one surprise on top of another since this may escalate the emotional involvement and further complicate what may have been simple miscommunication.
Surprise comes in many shapes and sizes; it’s how you cope with them that counts. They are going to happen, and preparation is possible. The better prepared you are, the easier they are to handle.
-----
At the CanyonRanch website, there is a delightful, short essay, “Coping with change,” full of practical suggestions: 1) Stay true to the authentic you, 2) Remember what’s important, 3) Do things that give you joy, 4) Live in gratitude, 5) Control what you can control, 6) Become the solution, 7) Try something new, 8) Talk about it, 9) Exercise, eat well, stay healthy. Good ideas in a well-written essay.
At DocStocSync, the article is entitled, “Coping with loss: Guide to Grieving and Bereavement,” and I realize it is a little off topic here, and the article is longer than those I normally recommend; however, the ideas in this article are excellent. It strikes me that if the surprise is large enough, and if the surprise truly shakes us to our core, then the steps for coping and the guide to grieving offered in the article are outstanding. They are too long to reproduce here, but the article is terrific.
-----
Copyright February, 2010 - And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
I was looking for a topic to write about; often I make notes or outline an essay subtly on a small pad in my lap during church services. This time it was the sermon topic itself, “Surprised by God,” by Georganna Mawer, that provided the spark that led to this essay. Surprise! The topic was right in front of me. This happens often, and I never cease to be amazed at the occurrence when I am looking for a topic to write about, and I find it offered, as if on a silver platter..
Surprises often jump out at us when we least expect them. (Of course, that's why they're labeled "surprises"!) Sometimes they are welcome, at other times they leave us in awe and utter shock. They can be small as when we find something around the house that has been missing for some time. Or, they can be huge as when a woman finds herself unexpectedly pregnant — exciting for many, but a surprise that can cause some to feel anxious, depressed, and afraid of what the future holds.
The most surprising thing that could happen in our future would be that it offered no surprises. Because the future has surprised us so often in the past, it would be inconceivable to have a future with no surprises. Those events that will be really startling and have important consequences, futurists have called wild cards. Wild cards have the potential to radically change many people’s thinking and planning. You plan a vacation, for example, and an important family member suddenly dies, and just as suddenly all your time, effort, attention, and finances must be directed elsewhere. Vacation plans now seem frivolous, meaningless, and beside the point.
What we must learn to do in the face of surprises — especially those futurists have labeled wild cards (those that push our buttons or trigger our adrenaline) — is to pull back and take some time to think. Before reacting with an emotional outburst, a nasty letter, or vile e-mail, we must think about the ramifications. The point is that we should never respond quickly just to be done with the matter. It’s a male tendency. That’s what gets many of us in trouble. It is when we are most prone to making mistakes — our emotions control us not our thoughts, and we are likely to say or do exactly the wrong thing.
In the face of surprises, we might want to take a long walk, breathe deeply a few times, and find time to research the facts. The world is not black and white — I am right and the other person is wrong — and there are any number of other alternatives to what is proposed or what has happened, and any alternative is strengthened when buttressed with facts. The key is thinking before acting.
Sometimes the answer lies in why the other person might think or act the way they do. When you count to 10, or even 100, when you feel like striking out and responding immediately, or take that long walk before presuming to know the “real truth” about a situation, the other person’s motives may become obvious. Think about it. Before ascribing sinister motives to others, ask, “Are they under stress that is causing them to react more strongly than what the issue warrants?” Before shooting back a potentially damaging reply, could the surprising event be but a feather floating softly across your horizon? Think about it. Can you simply watch it float by without reacting to it? Many answers lie in no answer at all!
Sometimes the answer to a surprise is not clear. Ask a friend, co-worker, another family member, priest, pastor, or rabbi how they would handle this. Think about it. Consider the possibility, as just noted, of not responding at all, and see how things are in a few days.
It is true that even with a boatload of suggestions, it won’t prevent people from occasionally doing something stupid or unfortunate. Just controlling our own behavior on a daily basis is a constant and formidable challenge. Even those who are older and considered by many to be mature adults struggle with this at times. There is no handbook, and even if there were, it is unlikely to cover every circumstance, all possible conditions, and each incident when and where you could be taken by surprise — and then, definitive instructions on how to handle it. Controlling the behavior of others — to limit the surprises they create for us — is totally outside our ability, much as we would like to believe that we can tell others what is wrong with them and what they should do to fix it! Even if we could, others are likely to take unkindly to instruction, training, or enlightenment from others who are outside the teaching, training, or instructional professions. Often, people take unkindly to instruction no matter the source!
There are ways to cope with surprises, but remember, a surprise would not be a surprise if you could completely anticipate and prepare for it. First, be yourself. As authentically as you can be, be aware that you are not going to agree with everyone all the time. Disagreements, arguments, and conflicts are part of life, and the best way to cope is to be yourself.
Second, be kind to yourself, and be gentle with others. Remember that other people, no matter how they have surprised you, are human beings who suffer the same challenges as you. Part of being gentle with others is to assume that their motives are pure and that they are only trying to deal with things as they see them. When you reveal empathy — trying to see the world as they do — it helps keep things in perspective. Be cautious in how you react to others
The third way to cope with surprises is to get plenty of rest, exercise, and good nutrition. Dealing with life’s stresses — let alone the surprises that are dished out along the way to keep you on your toes — requires all the strength, fortitude, and resilience you can muster. That strength of character, backbone, and courage must come from a firm, solid, and sturdy foundation.
The fourth way to cope with surprises is to be completely and brutally honest with yourself about how you contributed to any conflict, misunderstanding, or surprise. If the surprise came via e-mail, text message, letter, or phone call, you could make yourself a pledge not to respond until the next day — if that is possible. This will give you time to think about the roots of the conflict or misunderstanding. Even if you wait until later in the day, you will have time to consider what your response might mean and how you can react in a more positive manner. Instead of sending a response, call the person and chat or, better yet, talk in person. Try to avoid tacking one surprise on top of another since this may escalate the emotional involvement and further complicate what may have been simple miscommunication.
Surprise comes in many shapes and sizes; it’s how you cope with them that counts. They are going to happen, and preparation is possible. The better prepared you are, the easier they are to handle.
-----
At the CanyonRanch website, there is a delightful, short essay, “Coping with change,” full of practical suggestions: 1) Stay true to the authentic you, 2) Remember what’s important, 3) Do things that give you joy, 4) Live in gratitude, 5) Control what you can control, 6) Become the solution, 7) Try something new, 8) Talk about it, 9) Exercise, eat well, stay healthy. Good ideas in a well-written essay.
At DocStocSync, the article is entitled, “Coping with loss: Guide to Grieving and Bereavement,” and I realize it is a little off topic here, and the article is longer than those I normally recommend; however, the ideas in this article are excellent. It strikes me that if the surprise is large enough, and if the surprise truly shakes us to our core, then the steps for coping and the guide to grieving offered in the article are outstanding. They are too long to reproduce here, but the article is terrific.
-----
Copyright February, 2010 - And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
SMOERs: Words of Wisdom
"If we fill our hours with regrets over the failures of yesterday, and with worries over the problems of tomorrow, we have no today in which to be thankful." ---Apples of Gold
Day #123 - Be thankful every day.
Day #123 - Be thankful every day.
SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
News... And Then Some!
News... And Then Some!
Staff Writer, Anthony Weaver
This week we have an essay preview about surprises, a special delivery, and a civilian in an ill-fitting uniform.
And Then Some Publishing, LLC (ATSP) has just released the new book Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform by Edgar E. Willis. This memoir of World War II has received tremendous praise from Major Zachary Miller, U.S. Army, and Veteran of the Iraq War and Darrell Trent, United States Ambassador, acting Secretary of Transportation under President Ronald Reagan. There are more great reviews... click here and read the reviews and find out how to get your copy of this fantastic new book!
Special Delivery? ATSP is proud to announce the arrival of two new baby memory scrapbooks! Lynne Hall has written two great scrapbooks: one for boys and one for girls. There's plenty of room to add pictures and comments of special memories from Mom and Dad. Not only am I the illustrator for this full-color book, but I am the new staff writer for ATSP as well. These scrapbooks will become available at Amazon.com at anytime. ATSP will update you here next week and also on ProductsThatPamper.com.
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Surprises come in many shapes and sizes: It's coping that counts
by Richard L. Weaver II
Thursday’s essay is called, “Surprises come in many shapes and sizes: It’s coping that counts.” Although we establish clear goals and even specific plans for reaching those goals, inevitably surprises intervene that distract or derail us. This essay includes suggestions for coping with surprises in our life. It is worth a read just for its practical, utilitarian suggestions.
Excerpt:
It is true that even with a boatload of suggestions, it won’t prevent people from occasionally doing something stupid or unfortunate. Just controlling our own behavior on a daily basis is a constant and formidable challenge. Even those who are older and considered by many to be mature adults struggle with this at times. There is no handbook, and even if there were, it is unlikely to cover every circumstance, all possible conditions, and each incident when and where you could be taken by surprise — and then, definitive instructions on how to handle it. Controlling the behavior of others — to limit the surprises they create for us — is totally outside our ability, much as we would like to believe that we can tell others what is wrong with them and what they should do to fix it! Even if we could, others are likely to take unkindly to instruction, training, or enlightenment from others who are outside the teaching, training, or instructional professions. Often, people take unkindly to instruction no matter the source!
And Then Some Publishing, LLC
Staff Writer, Anthony Weaver
This week we have an essay preview about surprises, a special delivery, and a civilian in an ill-fitting uniform.
And Then Some Publishing, LLC (ATSP) has just released the new book Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform by Edgar E. Willis. This memoir of World War II has received tremendous praise from Major Zachary Miller, U.S. Army, and Veteran of the Iraq War and Darrell Trent, United States Ambassador, acting Secretary of Transportation under President Ronald Reagan. There are more great reviews... click here and read the reviews and find out how to get your copy of this fantastic new book!
Special Delivery? ATSP is proud to announce the arrival of two new baby memory scrapbooks! Lynne Hall has written two great scrapbooks: one for boys and one for girls. There's plenty of room to add pictures and comments of special memories from Mom and Dad. Not only am I the illustrator for this full-color book, but I am the new staff writer for ATSP as well. These scrapbooks will become available at Amazon.com at anytime. ATSP will update you here next week and also on ProductsThatPamper.com.
Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Surprises come in many shapes and sizes: It's coping that counts
by Richard L. Weaver II
Thursday’s essay is called, “Surprises come in many shapes and sizes: It’s coping that counts.” Although we establish clear goals and even specific plans for reaching those goals, inevitably surprises intervene that distract or derail us. This essay includes suggestions for coping with surprises in our life. It is worth a read just for its practical, utilitarian suggestions.
Excerpt:
It is true that even with a boatload of suggestions, it won’t prevent people from occasionally doing something stupid or unfortunate. Just controlling our own behavior on a daily basis is a constant and formidable challenge. Even those who are older and considered by many to be mature adults struggle with this at times. There is no handbook, and even if there were, it is unlikely to cover every circumstance, all possible conditions, and each incident when and where you could be taken by surprise — and then, definitive instructions on how to handle it. Controlling the behavior of others — to limit the surprises they create for us — is totally outside our ability, much as we would like to believe that we can tell others what is wrong with them and what they should do to fix it! Even if we could, others are likely to take unkindly to instruction, training, or enlightenment from others who are outside the teaching, training, or instructional professions. Often, people take unkindly to instruction no matter the source!
And Then Some Publishing, LLC
Monday, February 1, 2010
Civilian in an Ill-Fitting Uniform: A Memoir of World War II
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Civilian in an Ill-Fitting Uniform: A Memoir of World War II
by Edgar E. Willis
Review by:
Major Zachary Miller, U.S. Army
Veteran of the Iraq War
Bronze Star Medal and Purple Heart recipient
Graduate of Harvard and West Point
“In Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform Edgar Willis reminds us why the greatest generation has earned our respect and gratitude. More than just a vividly told memoir of his service in the Navy during World War II, it is a narrative of the entire war-time experience. From the fortuitous twists of fate that so influenced his path to his faithful portrayal of life aboard the “USS Alaska,” Willis weaves together a wonderful story. But this memoir also chronicles a consummate family man whose most crushing disappointment was not returning home to his wife and kids immediately after the war ended. In telling us how he came to serve and the sacrifices he made along the way, Willis delivers an engrossing account of a life well-lived.”
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
Darrell Trent, United States Ambassador
Acting Secretary of Transportation under President Ronald Reagan
“This book makes a significant contribution by detailing inefficiencies of war on a personal basis. It describes the impact war has on the lives of those actually doing the fighting. My wartime experience in Iraq gave me the opportunity to experience the tenor of combat, and to see the absurdity of a large military bureaucracy trying to deal with daily operational issues. Willis captures both initiatives in real time experience. I cringed at the moments of tragedy, and laughed at the absurdities of other events as they interplayed together.”
“Civilian in an Ill-fitting Uniform is a book that should be read by policy makers who are sending our young men and women into combat situations in far off places without having clear objectives or opportunities for success.”
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
William C. Orr, Ph.D.
President and CEO
Lynn Health Science Institute
Clinical Professor of Medicine
University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center
“This book provides a rare first hand account of a crucial time in American history, the end of the war in the Pacific in WWII. The book is compelling and insightful, and describes the experiences of a young PhD who is suddenly exposed during wartime to the rigors, discipline and dangers of military life. The book is replete with anecdotes which are riveting and sometimes quite touching and humorous. Reading the book is much like reading a book by the eminent American historian David McCullough, in that the accounts of events are as if you were actually there.”
Review by:
Rev. Daniel W. Bellavia
Senior Pastor
First Baptist Church of Greater Toledo
Get your copy now at Amazon.com! |
“Dr. Willis shares his conclusions as well as his memories. While some veterans would be content to simply remember through a haze of rose-colored reflection, Dr. Willis clearly reports the truth as he knows it. The most refreshing aspect of the memoir is how it reveals a mind at work—willing to share opinions and name names—rather than simply providing a stenographer’s account of events. This mind is perhaps the most wonderful aspect of the book as Dr. Willis spins tales of grim reality and utter joy with equal skill and interest. His stories are both intimate and at times shockingly public.”
----
Book Club... And Then Some!
Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookClubAndThenSome.com website.
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