Dear Mom and Dad: Lives and then some

by Richard L. Weaver II

Reflection and insight could not help but take place. Resting in a Camp Chautauqua campsite on Chautauqua Lake, New York, there is blue sky and sunshine, a slight breeze, and it feels like an early fall day. Vladimir Horowitz plays gentle, soothing piano on a CD in the background, and my wife and I have just completed a three-and-a-half week vacation traveling in our fifth-wheel through upstate New York.

I know the two of you would have delighted in many aspects of our lives. You have loved the same things with which we are fascinated as well. There are numerous parallels between the interests we have pursued and those you did whether it be camping, travel, nature, gardening, yard work, or family.

Although the two of you never “graduated” to camping in a fifth wheel (few, if any, existed when you camped), ours has made a significant contribution to our camping ease and comfort. We are tent campers at heart, as you were, but we love taking hot showers in our own bathroom as well as having all our modern conveniences with us. I hate to say it, but we want for nothing, and we are spoiled now after years of tent camping then using a pop-up tent camper.

I think of you often when we visit new places because you were world travelers as well. I often collected flyers and brochures that explained our various destinations, maps that detailed our routes, and advertisements that promoted the things that drew our interest, and sent them to you. Whether it was our cruise of the great rivers of Europe, our Mediterranean cruise, our trip to Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, or our many cruises of the Caribbean, I thought about your impressions, and dad’s interest in churches and cathedrals.

When we followed the Lewis and Clark trail across country to the Pacific Ocean, I thought about your interest in history and how each of our stops at museums, visitor’s centers, and historical markers would have captured your attention.

On the Lewis and Clark trip, as well as on the Seaway Trail (along the St. Lawrence Seaway and Lakes Ontario and Erie), many times our route would take us along rivers and lakes, and I remember how often we would stop at such times, not just to get a closer look, but to actually wade in or jump from rock to rock. At other times, we made stops to observe the wildlife or flowers, and we do the same. And just as you, dad, would grab your camera, Andrea goes prepared with her telephoto lens as an added necessity.

You two have made my appreciation of camping, nature, and the outdoors (and environment), stronger and more pronounced, and I want to thank you. The fact that my wife has these same interests has reinforced everything I learned and drew from you two.

Another area of interest I closely associate with you is gardening and an appreciation for plants and trees. We have had an extensive garden, thanks to Andrea, for much of our married life, and her interest has led to experiments with different crops as well as planting a variety of herbs. I know you two always had gardens wherever we lived and delighted, too, in a wide variety of plants and trees.

I have had many opportunities to visit our former houses in Ann Arbor, and the planting decisions you made are evident still today. Both houses are entirely shaded by the trees you two planted and Kirtland Drive, the road you two named after the famous, but rare, Kirtland Warbler remains to this day as well.

Much like the two of you, Andrea and I have been planting our current yard ever since we moved in over 30 years ago. At first it took me 3-4 hours to mow the lawn; now, because of shade and increased plants and trees, it takes a mere 30 minutes or less.

On one side of our backyard we installed a Lionhead Fountain, and the plantings surrounding it we have called our “Memorial Garden.” A park bench faces the garden, and I like to sit there in the shade of a large evergreen and think how you two would have enjoyed our yard, garden, pond, gazebo, barn, and the wide variety of plants, shrubs, and trees.

In addition to camping, travel, nature, gardening, and yard, we value our family just as you two did. We all get together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays, but there are some additional opportunities we take that I know you would enjoy as well. Each summer, for example, we make three separate camping trips during which we take seven of our nine grandchildren (two are too young at this writing) camping in our fifth wheel — in groups of two or three. The thrill we have in being with them is not as great, of course, as the thrill they have in being with each other for 2 or 3 days. Not only do we take time to hike, swim, play games, build a fire, and roast marshmallows, one of the highlights is that we make s’mores.. I picture you two watching our activities from comfortable chairs and remarking, I’m sure, “It’s great seeing how much fun you all have being together.”

Camping with the grandchildren is important for keeping all of us close and involved in each other’s lives, but even more important is our annual retreat when everyone (there are 18 of us) joins together in a large cabin in central rural Ohio (Loudonville) for a three-day, two-night outing. The weekend includes games that involve everyone, performances by the kids that are spontaneous and improvised, dancing to the tunes provided by our professional DJ son, food contributed by all those attending, hikes in the woods, walks by the river, and a special craft project that engages everyone. It ends with Sunday dinner at a local restaurant. I know you two would love being involved. I can just imagine you telling stories from your childhood, sharing your insights, and enjoying all the attention from your nine great-grandchildren.

Yes, I miss you and the many contributions you would have made to my life but, more important by far, the contributions you would have made to all our lives. Both of you were devoted, involved, loving teachers who cared about your students and committed your lives to teaching, education, and learning.

You may wonder why this thank you was so late in coming, but it sometimes takes awhile to see another’s influence play out in a successor’s life. Thank you for my upbringing, the values you instilled, the interests you implanted, the beliefs you imprinted, and the dreams you inspired. Even though you, mom, have been dead for ten years and dad for forty-five, it’s never too late to remember and reflect, and this camping experience afforded a wonderful, tranquil, and satisfying opportunity to do some. Just as your lives were, ours have been lives and then some.

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At the web site called “The Knowledge Hound," there is a terrific essay on giving thanks, “Learning Gratitude, Teaching Gratitude - How To Improve Your Life With Thankfulness.” This essay is well written and very important.

At the “Everyday giving blog," there is a great essay entitled, “Giving Thanks, Love and Appreciation Is Powerful,” in which Roger Carr discusses the power of saying, “Thank you,” “I love you,” and “I appreciate you.” These are just three examples he uses to reveal the power of sharing our feelings. It’s worth a read.

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