by Richard L. Weaver IIOne of the most fascinating things I learned in a basic speech course I took as an undergraduate at the University of Michigan was information on the Johari (pronounced Joe-Harry) Window. It was named after its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, and the reason I liked it is because it was such a useful, practical model for describing the process of human interaction.
The Johari Window is simply a four-pane “window” which divides personal awareness into four different types, and these types are represented by the four quadrants of the window. The upper left pane is called the open window, and it represents all the information that is obvious and available to both individuals as they communicate with one another—information, that is, that both share such as dress, nonverbal cues (e.g., facial expression, eye contact, posture, gestures, and body movement), as well as the words and ideas actually exchanged.
The upper-right pane of the “window” is labeled the blind pane and represents an accidental disclosure area—things you do not know about yourself that others know. For example, what if others detect a reluctance to communicate, habits you are unaware of, or a pattern of communication (always avoiding looking others in the eye, for example) of which you are unaware.
In the lower left-hand corner the pane is labeled “hidden” because it represents self-knowledge that we deliberately hide from the other person. There are certain things all of us know that we do not want to share with others. For example, we may not want the other person to know how we really feel about them, really feel about the topic being discussed, or that we really don’t have the time to talk right now. Anything we want to keep hidden from the other person would fit in this window.
For me, however, it is the lower-right pane labeled “unknown” that has always captured my interest and attention for it truly represents the unopened doors of our lives—information that is unknown to yourself and unknown to others. This pane represents all the parts of you that are not yet revealed. That is—in other words— for us to grow, change, and develop in new ways, we need to move beyond our comfort zone and stretch. When I was introduced to this pane, one accompanying comment was: “A person’s mind stretched in a new direction, will never return to its original dimensions.”
What I have discovered through my teaching, speaking, and writing career—and it came as a shock—is that everyone doesn’t have the same motivation to grow, develop, and change. More likely, people fall along a continuum:
Blockers ___ Content ___ Apathetic ___ Appreciaters ___ Seekers
Just a brief word of explanation about this continuum may help. Moving from right to left, there are those I label “Seekers” who want desperately to find out all they can about themselves. You might even say they are on a mission of continual self-discovery. Then, there are “Appreciaters” who are not actually looking for information about themselves; however, if they discover it, that’s fine, and they appreciate and can deal with it. In the center of the continuum are the apathetic who just don’t care, or it doesn’t interest them in the least. Moving to the left of center are those I label “Content” because they are satisfied with who they are and with what they know.
Finally, at the far left on the continuum are “Blockers” who will take strides to prevent obtaining new information about themselves. They may be represented by comments such as, “I know what I know, and don’t you try to change that,” and they will purposefully avoid people and situations where growth, change, and development has the potential of taking place: “I’m done with school,” they might be heard saying.
The point of the continuum is to demonstrate that people have different views regarding the unopened, mystery doors of their lives. It is a little like teachers who enter a class of students to find them open, accepting, and responsive to new ideas versus teachers who enter a class of students who have no interest whatever in learning and only want to play video games or talk with each other.
For adults who appear at the center or to the left on the continuum there is likely to be little hope. As a teacher, it is something I really hate to say. But when you are trying to reach/teach those who are truly apathetic, truly pleased with who they are and what they know, or, actually blocking the effect of any new information, there are few resources anyone has. Admittedly, teachers may have some luck with the apathetic; however, in our media-saturated world, the things that would result in growth, development, and change, probably wouldn’t compete well.
When you think about opportunities that will enhance us—open those mystery doors of our lives—if they don’t offer greater adventure, excitement, interest, or challenge than what can be found in media-related activities and pursuits, what is likely to be the outcome? It may not be a fair comparison, but I’m afraid it’s the kind of comparison that suits the lives of many people today no matter where they lie on the continuum.
One essential key to opening mystery doors has to do with connecting with others. The most productive path is one that fosters a deep level of caring about other people, encourages supportive relationships, improved communication, creative ideas, positive emotions, and pleasant physical sensations. It is the path, too, of resolving conflicts, collaborating with others, and solving problems mutually. The only way to discover such a path is by adopting or demonstrating empathy, acceptance, honesty, and mutual respect. The more connectivity we promote, the more likely increased awareness, compassion, integrity, and heartfelt communications will result.
The way to transformation, transcendence, wisdom, spirit, and heart is by making a commitment to stretching the boundaries of our mental, spiritual, and physical worlds. With such dedication, we can then break out from our present comfort zones and develop meaningful, openhearted relationships, deep learning situations, intimate communication, profound ideas, poignant emotions, and physical renewal. Only with this kind of growth, change, and development can we open the mystery doors of our lives.
John Rowlinson, at LifeCoachExpert.com, has written an excellent essay entitled, Discovering Your Purpose in Life. There are three parts to this essay: 1) The Power of the Subconscious Mind, 2) How to Prepare Yourself for Uncovering Your Purpose in Life, and 3) Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Self. There is a great deal of practical advice here that is worth considering.
At Authenic-Breathing.com there is an essay entitled, Awakening to the Miracle of Ordinary by Dennis Lewis. The essence of this essay lies in Lewis’ comment, “We move through our lives in a state of waking sleep, a state of psychological, cultural, and spiritual hypnosis. Instead of experiencing ourselves consciously from moment to moment as living, breathing beings, we lose ourselves unconsciously in the various impulses and fragments of our self-images—our likes and dislikes, our pleasures and pains, our theories, our expectations, our dreams, our fears, and our beliefs. Instead of asking and reflecting on the hard, deep questions about the meaning of our lives, about who we are and where we are going, we look for easy answers to questions that don’t matter.” To change, we must open ourselves to the ordinary, everyday events of our lives. This essay is an enjoyable read.
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