Secure your foundation: Forget resolutions

by Richard L. Weaver II

Resolutions don’t work! There are many reasons. There’s a great ezine article on “Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work,” by David Henning. They’re made to stop or lose something; they reflect a lack of planning; they describe a result without referencing behavior; there is no date for completion; there is no consequence for failure; they are made at the last minute; they are vague and too big; they have little support to carry them out; they are not written down; there is no commitment behind them; they offer no flexibility; they push toward perfection; and they often require miracles. Because resolutions don’t work, all they are are empty promises to yourself. So, what’s the answer: no resolutions, then what?

The answer is to get your house in order: secure your foundation. But, this is easier said than done. But isn’t everything? If resolutions are not the route to growth, development, and change, then how do you secure your foundation? Ten steps that begin with a single kernel: believe in yourself; you can do it, but you need to start here, and you need to start now.

First, get your finances in order. “Recession-Proof Your Finances, by Erin Huffstetler, at About.com is a worthwhile essay. Create a budget that covers housing, food, and transportation. After these basics, list your other expenses. Take out your bills and credit-card statements and find out where your money goes and what changes need to be made. Organize your resources. Tough economic times require tough decision making.

Second, know what you value and believe in. Debra Moorhead has a terrific essay on “Determining Your Values." It’s your values and beliefs that may help guide your financial decisions, but they will affect many other factors that make up your foundation as well (e.g., who to befriend, causes you support, organizations you join, or where you choose to volunteer).

Third, build friendships and other support groups (e.g., clubs, organizations, churches, temples, synagogues, business associations, and other groups). At “How to Have More Social Success,” the essay entitled, “How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life,” is especially informative. These friendships and associations are often those people who offer us sounding boards, viewpoints, alternatives, and judgments that assist. They provide people who are there in times of trouble.

Fourth, continue your education. At ehow, there is an essay by the ehow education editor entitled, “How to Continue Education,” that offers some specific suggestions. Never stop learning. Keep informed by reading, listening, and asking questions. Advancing your knowledge and understanding adds strength to your foundation and helps you build credibility. Your integrity depends on whether others can trust you, rely on your judgment, and have faith in your dependability.

Fifth, establish strong family ties. Coach Kathy, in an essay, “Establish strong family ties,” has written a brief essay that discusses marriages that suffer “because of strained relationships with relatives and in-laws.” By bridging any gaps and voids developed through history, you build connections and re-establish important relationships, interdependence, bonds, and associations that buttress the foundation. These are attachments and tie-ins that will make certain the substructure and underpinning of your foundation are rooted in sturdy bedrock.


Sixth, don’t forget your health. At the Federal Citizen Information Center website, there is a terrific essay on “What you can do to stay healthy.” When you eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep, you can be more certain that you are making better decisions, facing the world in a more vigorous manner, and confronting problems and difficulties in a robust way with all your faculties operating at their peak capacity. Listen to your body, and give it what it needs.

Seventh, find causes to believe in and support. When you fight for issues that are bigger than you are, and you put your time and effort behind other causes than self-promotion, it prompts you to look beyond immediate concerns, promotes a vision that supercedes egocentrism, and results in more universal (broader) concerns and interests. Causes will help you stay connected with the outside world and help you avoid isolation.


Eighth, build habits of optimism, encouragement, and a positive outlook. Read about “The benefits of optimism” in the excellent and well-written essay by Elizabeth Scott. It is easy to look at the world’s problems and become depressed. If you are not a hopeful, cheerful, and buoyant person then find people who are and connect with them, associate with them, form friendships with them, and benefit from them. Teach your mind to think in positive terms.


Ninth, volunteer. Some of “the benefits of volunteering” are discussed at essortment. You learn about yourself when you give yourself to others. Also, you may learn a new skill, become part of your community, get motivated and develop a sense of achievement, boost your career options, develop new interests and hobbies, provide new experiences, meet a diverse range of people, and give others real examples of your commitment, dedication and interests. Just from this list alone, think how much potential there is for you in volunteering.


Tenth, keep realistic. At Qurve, there is an excellent essay, “Achieve Your Goals by Setting Realistic Ones,” that will help you clarify your long-term and short-term goals. There are a number of ways to maintain balance and realism in your life. One thing you don’t want to do is build a squishy base that will not last nor support a substantive structure above it. First, fight negative and unrealistic thinking. Your attitude is likely to be your biggest barrier to taking care of yourself and taking charge of your life. Pace yourself; this is a marathon, not a sprint.


An e-zine article, “How to be secure in an insecure world,” begins by saying, “Most of us believe that our happiness and security are dependent upon our relationships, work, income and the external events that take place in our lives. When things are going well there is a sense of well-being and safety. We sleep well at night, wake up feeling refreshed and have the sense that the world can be managed — that we are in control. However, this kind of security is fleeting. As people and events are constantly changing, we are often edgy about what's coming down the road.” This is true, but, if your foundation is strong, you will be vigilant, prepared, and resilient. It takes time to build a solid foundation, but it’s worth the effort in the strength it provides.

Don’t get overwhelmed. Always remain in the present — one day at a time. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. You can plan for the future, but you can’t worry it into submission.

Once the foundation is established and is strong, then you can stretch out, dare to dream, go against the flow, and make your dreams come true. You have established a foundation that now lets you go beyond your current boundaries, exceed your expectations, and excel, shine, be the best and then some.

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At Thinkpositive.net, the featured essay is “Work-Life Balance: Positive Practices for Hard Times,” written by Molly Gordon. Gordon writes a positive, uplifting essay that focuses on exercises you can do to improve your resilience and your hopefulness and acquire solid, positive, thinking skills.

At Abafrance-do.org, there is an essay entitled, “5 Proven Ways to Safely Make Positive Life Changes,” that focuses primarily on risk: 1) define your present situation, 2) what will you gain if you change your present situation?, 3) how can you limit the “down side” if you take a risk and make the wrong decision?, 4) be smart by seeking the advice of experts, and 5) have a fall-back position.

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