LAUGH . . . And Then Some

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.  A man walked over and sat down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I lived here years ago."


"So, where were you all these years?"


"In prison," he says.


"Why did they put you in prison?"


He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."


"Oh!" said the woman.  "So you're single . . . ?"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #229 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Finding time to relax

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.    

It’s easy to get caught up in the helter-skelter of everyday life, community activities, job-related responsibilities, family happenings, etc.  It can be, too, workaholism—the compulsive and unrelenting need to work.  I tend to be a workaholic.  I’ve been one all my life.  When one project is complete I immediately proceed to the next one.  Sometimes, too, I am involved in a number of projects at the same time.
    
I remember when I was teaching, and I took great personal pride (I never told anyone else at the time) in having my secretary involved in a revision of my teacher’s manual used by my 30 teaching assistants.  At the same time, I was involved in the revision of two of my college textbooks, and both of the revised manuscripts were being read by developmental editors at two different publishing companies.  I had a speech waiting for publication in Vital Speeches of the Day, and there were two scholarly articles, one waiting for immediate publication, and the other being read by a journal editor who was considering it for publication.  The reader [a collection of articles] for my graduate-level course was being prepared by a duplicating office on campus, and while all of this was going on, I was preparing another book and updating the lectures I used in the basic course.  I absolutely loved it.
    
So, it would be obvious for a reader of this essay to wonder, “Who are you to talk about finding time to relax?”  I would contend quite the opposite: If a workaholic like myself can find time to relax, then that is precisely the person from whom I would like to hear!  It’s like the very old aphorism: “If you have a job to do, give it to a busy person.”
    
I give myself plenty of time to relax; however, I do not waste time between work and that designated for relaxation.  “Designated” to relaxing.  Getting up at 3 a.m. on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I find my two hours of exercising and jogging very relaxing.  Every morning, seven-days-a-week, I spend 1 1/2-to-2 hours reading newspapers while eating breakfast and listening to background music—a relaxing way to begin each day and calm the spirit.
    
For lunch, I take a full one-hour, relaxing break, to make and eat my lunch, listen to music, and read any mail.  Between projects, I often take a short break to pay bills, read and review books, post on Facebook, bring my blog up-to-date, or write a new essay.  It may sound like this is work; however, like a professional golfer finds playing golf relaxing, I find writing (and working in my study) relaxing activities.  I write to relax.
    
In addition to these forms of relaxation, my wife and I usually take two vacations each year.  Often, one of these is a cruise.  We have taken ten.  For the second vacation, we take our fifth-wheel somewhere.  These are additional relaxing times and, for the most part (not always), I try not to take work along.  I do spend some time on each trip writing essays—not as work, but for relaxing.  (Many of these essays eventually get posted on my blog )
    
Now I have revealed a secret.  Much of my “work” is interwoven with my “play,” and in many cases, it would be difficult for someone to distinguish between them.  Perhaps, that is sufficient explanation for how much I accomplish.
    
As an important aside here, I have to confess that I often work with the television on in the background—especially if there is a sporting function about which I am interested.  I seldom just sit and watch a television program, unless it is later in the evening (after 9:00 p.m.), I have finished a project (like an essay like this), and I am ready to enjoy a beer along with a few pretzels, some lightly-salted peanuts, and popcorn.  That is not just the way I celebrate the end of a day, but it, too, is a way to take my little bit of medicinal alcohol.
    
Very seldom, if ever, will you find me just sitting, relaxing, and watching television.  There is little on television about which I am interested (except Big Ten college football); however, the shows I enjoy (such as Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow on MSNBC), I can have on in the background while I work at the computer.
    
One method I have found useful for finding time to relax is working in blocks of time.  It is easier to get a group of projects finished when they are related.  For example, I save bills for several days, then I will sit at my desk and pay all the bills, write all the checks, and prepare them for mailing—all at the same time.  While at the computer writing essays, I will often post on Facebook, answer email messages, and bring my blog up-to-date.  What these blocks of time afford is small blocks of time, too, to relax.
    
During the time I was teaching, I advocated for variety as opposed to blocks of time.  That is, I spread my time among a wide-variety of projects—with an emphasis on “wide.”  It was, at that time, the only way I would have time to write.  Teaching, lecturing, directing my graduate teaching assistants, and looking over the daily responses I required in my 300-level, interpersonal communication class (that had an enrollment of 150 students or more), took enormous amounts of time, so I would arrange my schedule, in order not to become too tired from working on a single project, to bounce between responsibilities.  It kept me awake, alert, and sharp—and, it helped me accomplish a great deal more.
    
What I wondered after I finished my teaching career is how did I ever do it?  My writing responsibilities were greater then (“publish or perish”), then they were after I retired from teaching.  Also, I was involved in writing two popular college textbooks at the same time.  It is obvious—in retrospect—what I did.  First, I did far less relaxing.  Two, because of the immediacy and responsibilities of teaching, I had to sacrifice the amount of time I gave to writing my textbooks.  I just could not give them the time I was able to give them once I retired  from teaching.
    
What I have discovered regarding “finding time to relax,” is that you must purposely work relaxation into your schedule.  If you just plan to relax when you find the time—especially if you are a workaholic—it is unlikely you will do much relaxing, if any at all.  I am not suggesting that the way I relax will work for everyone (perhaps no one!), but it offers two important lessons: First, different strokes for different folks!  You need to work out a system or plan that purposefully and specifically incorporates relaxation.  
    
The second lesson, and although I have not mentioned it thus far in this essay, relaxation will help you work better and more efficiently.  For me, it improves my energy level, sleep, concentration, and creative ability.  Doctors, too, will tell you relaxation gives the heart a rest by slowing the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, slows the rate of breathing, which reduces the need for oxygen, increases blood flow to the muscles, and decreases muscle tension.*   Personally, there need be no more justification for working relaxation into my life.

*From the Heart of Healing web site, “Benefits of relaxation.”
-----
At MayoClinic.com the essay at Stress Management is called, “Relaxation techniques: Learn ways to reduce your stress,” the Mayo Clinic staff write, “Relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms and help you enjoy a better quality of life. Explore relaxation techniques you can do on your own,” and they offer 8 symptoms that can be reduced by relaxation and several main types of relaxation techniques.

At the New York Times, “Science” page, Daniel Goleman writes a wonderful essay on relaxation entitled, “Relaxation: Surprising Benefits Detected” (May 13, 1986) that you will find thorough, interesting, and beneficial.

At HelpGuide.com,  Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Joanna Saisan, MSW, Melinda Smith, M.A., Ellen Jaffe-Gill, M.A, and Robert Segal, M.A. contributed to the article, “Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief: Relaxation Exercises to Reduce Stress, Anxiety, and Depression,” in which they offer a thorough discussion of the relaxation response, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, guided imagery, yoga, tai chi, and massage therapy for stress relief.
-----
Copyright July, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

   

Day #264 - Think carefully before you speak.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall." --Oliver Wendell Holmes

Day #264 - Think carefully before you speak.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of six motivational quotations for Day #264.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "Finding time to relax," reads as follows: "It’s easy to get caught up in the helter-skelter of everyday life, community activities, job-related responsibilities, family happenings, etc.  It can be, too, workaholism—the compulsive and unrelenting need to work.  I tend to be a workaholic.  I’ve been one all my life.  When one project is complete I immediately proceed to the next one.  Sometimes, too, I am involved in a number of projects at the same time."

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last two paragraphs of the essay

What I have discovered regarding “finding time to relax,” is that you must purposely work relaxation into your schedule.  If you just plan to relax when you find the time—especially if you are a workaholic—it is unlikely you will do much relaxing, if any at all.  I am not suggesting that the way I relax will work for everyone (perhaps no one!), but it offers two important lessons: First, different strokes for different folks!  You need to work out a system or plan that purposefully and specifically incorporates relaxation.  
    
The second lesson, and although I have not mentioned it thus far in this essay, relaxation will help you work better and more efficiently.  For me, it improves my energy level, sleep, concentration, and creative ability.  Doctors, too, will tell you relaxation gives the heart a rest by slowing the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, slows the rate of breathing, which reduces the need for oxygen, increases blood flow to the muscles, and decreases muscle tension.*   Personally, there need be no more justification for working relaxation into my life.

And Then Some News

The pocket therapist: An emotional survival kit

By Therese J. Borchard

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

The reviews of Borchard’s book at Amazon.com are outstanding — all nine of them as this review is being written — and I am not going to deviate from this trend.  I am truly impressed with this book.

First, I enjoyed Borchard’s writing style.  She is direct, straightforward, and to-the-point.  She is forthright and honest.  She really confesses a great deal in trying to help her readers.  I was so impressed with her insights that I read the book almost in a single setting.  It isn’t just her suggestions and ideas, it is, indeed, her sense of humor as well which shines through.  Answering the question,: “Is there any rule that is absolute?” Borchard uses the example about making rules for the kids, “‘Absolutely no candy before six o’clock.  Except when Dad is away and I need to bribe you with Kit Kats and Skittles.” (p. 99).  Delightful!

Self disclosure?  Lots of it.  “As a recovering alcoholic,” Borchard writes, “I know that you’re much more likely to relapse if your pals frequent drug rehabs more than grocery stores, and as a manic depressive, I have learned that staying sane is an easier job if you avoid those who talk doom and gloom, because once the negativity is out there, it’s up to me to tell my brain not to dwell on it” (p. 129).

Second, I appreciated her upbeat approach.  No matter what illness, malady, or trial you may be facing (even dizziness and nausea), Borchard’s stories, examples, and references are positive and uplifting.  You don’t have to have something as severe as mental illness (or a malignant tumor and undergoing chemotherapy and radiation) to get something from this 197-page book with 144 entries.  She is simply engaging.

Upbeat?  All the time.  “. . . Once I listen to an angry voice mail or receive a discouraging piece of news,” Borchard writes, “I start counting: one one-thousand, two two-thousand . . . and see how far I can get before breaking into hysteria.  When I’m able to squeeze in at least five seconds between the event and my reaction, I can respond more appropriately and appear more . . . um . . . chemically balanced” (p. 145).

Third, admittedly, much of her advice may simply reinforce things you already know, but that neither makes it trite nor unnecessary.  I first read this advice from Sydney Harris, when he was asked why he doesn’t become angry when the man who gives him a newspaper mistreats him: (and I am paraphrasing broadly here) I am not going to let him determine how I am feeling.  Borchard writes, “Never ever bequeath your authority to a person not named ‘I,’ ‘me,’ or ‘self.’  When a doctor hands you a prescription for a drug you haven’t heard of, research it before popping it into your mouth.  Or when a Blockbuster Video employee insists you pay $543 to replace their copy of Finding Nemo, buy a copy at Best Buy for $9.99 and hand it to him with a smile” (p. 151).  Basically, the advice is, take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

Fourth, I loved the broad range of sources she has read, absorbed, and quoted from.  Some she mentions include The Little Prince, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love, Touching Peace, The Four Agreements, Finding the Deep River Within, Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be, Cutting Loose, Ten Days to Self-Esteem, Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom , What Happy People Know, and The Addictive Personality to name some of them.

Overall I found her Catholic upbringing acceptable.  Although it shows up occasionally throughout her 144 entries, it is neither intrusive nor cumbersome.  For some, knowing this may encourage them to read the book.  Many would already know this from reading her daily blog “Beyond Blue.”  Others may have read one of her previous books, I Like Being Catholic.  This is not a religious book, and it is not necessary to be a religious person (Christian, Jew, Muslim, or other) to gain from her insights.

Not being mentally ill, mentally unstable, or mentally compromised in any way (that I know about!), and having never visited a therapist, I want to share an insight from DS, whose review on Amazon.com, gives a perspective I cannot: “As someone who has spent thousands of dollars on therapy, partial and full psychiatric hospitalization programs, and who takes the time to self-educate, I can't say enough wonderful things about this book. The advice is practical and graciously compassionate to the ups and downs of managing mental illness like bi-polar and uni-polar depression. The reader will benefit from Ms. Borchard's brave review of her own ‘Ark of the Covenant’: her bin of journals, notes, and therapy worksheets covering the last twelve years.”

I think you will find this book interesting, useful, and . . . short.

This book can be found at Amazon.com: The pocket therapist: An emotional survival kit

LAUGH . . . And Then Some

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver-side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"

His reply, "I know.  I already got that side."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #224 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Keys to overcoming boredom — Entering the room of choices

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.    

As I prepared for church this morning, it seemed to me I had just done it, even though it was a full week ago.  When I pulled down all the Christmas decorations from the attic, it seemed as if I just put them up there the day before. Time flies, the routines become repetitive, and there seems to be little that is new and different.  It is easy to get caught up in the every day, become drugged by the nausea and din of life, and “go with the flow” because it requires no thought, satisfies our comfort zone, and permits nothing but our base survival instincts — routines that are deeply entrenched.
    
Now, if you are a regular reader (or even an occasional one) of my essays, you already know the key to the keys to overcoming boredom.  That is, there is a key to entry into the room of choices.  This is the room in which you are free to select different ways to combat boredom.  But, if you’re not in the room of choices, there is no way to overcome it.  What is the entry key?
    
The key to the keys is a basic desire — an “I want to” — because without that base-line motivation, no further key in the room of choices will work.
    
(Just an aside here.  Wouldn’t it be great if there were an M.P. (motivational pill) that we could take that would spark (ignite) the desire?  That M.P. would be the key to the room.  Can you imagine the popularity of an M.P. pill?)
    
My point is simple: Nothing that any writer, motivational speaker, or person can do or say will work if he or she is facing total lethargy, boredom, or ennui.  When boredom or laziness is deeply entrenched it is just plain easier to continue following this course of least resistence — a life of no change — nothingness (apathy).
    
(Another aside here.  One of the problems with so many people is that they are truly uninformed, and they don’t care.  Choosing to be informed, they know, requires purpose, direction, motivation, and effort — desire!  I prefer not knowing.)
    
Thus, any suggestion of keys (in the room of choices) to overcoming boredom must not involve going out and meeting others, reading, going to church or to the library, or even breaking through the barriers that cause ennui.  Any suggestion for overcoming boredom must first address the lack of desire.   How does anyone light that spark or re-invigorate basic motivation?
    
You already know this, but it bears repeating: You are responsible for your behavior.  Any change, improvement, or success — just as any  frustration, annoyance, or lack of progress — is dependent on you and, in the end, on you alone.  So, let’s begin by exploring how to deal with this basic fact.  Where can you begin?  What, indeed, is the key to the room of choices?
    
First, recognize the fact that you are a total victim of your routines, and it is your routines that are boring, repetitive, and uninspiring.  Routine behaviors can be un-motivating.  If you don’t break the routines nothing will happen.  You don’t have to do a lot, but you have to do something.  Change the time you go to bed or the time you get up.  Change the television channels or shows that you watch or the Internet sites you visit.  Change your attire in some small way or the way you do your hair.  Change the route you take to work, the food you choose to eat, the friends with whom you associate, or the books you choose to read.
    
Any change in your life has the power to change negative thoughts into positive ones.
     
One frustration that occurs when routines become boring is that your brain begins
bombarding you with negative or limiting thoughts.  “Life isn’t worth living,” “Nothing exciting ever happens,” “I am utterly and hopelessly stuck,” “I’m bored, apathetic, lazy, and I don’t care,” “I will never succeed.”  Those are precisely the thoughts that will make you question if any effort is worthwhile. Why change?  
    
One simple way to control these negative thoughts is to ignore them.  Another is to say CANCEL immediately when you hear them. By acting in a strong and decisive manner you will  disrupt the negative thought and prevent it from growing and causing you to remain as you are or revert to the security of where it is most comfortable.  Saying CANCEL is a simple method, but you need simplicity when negative thoughts occur.  It is an excellent way to help you build your motivation.
    
With small changes and a new way of thinking (canceling negative thoughts as they occur), you need to depend on your resources.  As a functioning human being, you are a problem solver.  Not only do you have innate and successful problem-solving skills, but you are a creative person, too, and you need to put your skills, experience, and knowledge to work at once.  With Internet access, you can expose yourself to more knowledge and more knowledgeable people than anyone at any previous time in history.   
    
Just those little changes you make in your life as well as the cancellation of negative thinking can result in a complete change of perspective. Suddenly you will find new opportunities opening up, not only for personal growth, but for careers, relationships, and numerous other possibilities.

If you choose not to put your thoughts and feelings into action, you won't be taking
charge of your life and stagnation, negativity, and inactivity will continue unabated.  But change, even a small one, can open the door to positive action, optimism, and growth.
    
There are many benefits to personal change; however, what you must do at this new stage of development is to set goals to keep yourself moving in a positive direction. “I want to be more assertive,” “I want to listen better,” “I want to develop a serious relationship,” “I want to accomplish more in my life,” “I want to break out from this dungeon of depression.”  By setting goals you will also be able to accomplish more in a shorter time.  Each time you are successful at achieving a goal you move forward with more clarity, and you become increasingly positive and stronger.  Each achievement provides greater incentives to be even more successful.  Success builds on itself just as small changes (where you began) build on themselves.
    
Now is the time to combat boredom more directly.  You are now in the room of choices.  Surround yourself with positive people, keep active, read new, interesting, positive material on the Internet, eat healthy food, begin a regular exercise routine, and get enough sleep.  With a more positive and optimistic outlook, you need to accept that some boredom in life is inevitable.  Do what has to be done as quickly as possible, and get on with it.  Life can’t be all fun and games.  Pat Riley, the basketball coach said, “If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges” — the challenges offered in the room of choices.
- - - - - - - -
At wikiHow there is an essay, “How to overcome boredom,” in which Fatimah Musa, Anonymous, Sondra C, Ben Rubenstein, and others offer and discuss 30 practical ways to overcome boredom.

Etienne A. Gibbs, a management consultant and trainer, at HomeHighlight.org, offers and discusses six great ways for overcoming boredom in her article,
“Overcoming boredom in six ways.”

At the website Positive-thinking-for-you.com, there is an inspiring essay, “Motivational Tips From A To Z That Truly End With Your Success In Life!” by an author who goes by the name of “Howard.”  The tips are practical and useful.  Also, click on “Home” from the left-column index, and see many of the other inspiring essays available at this website.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Copyright July, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.

Day # 263 - Do what is necessary to come alive.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." --Howard Thurman

Day #263 - Do what is necessary to come alive.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of eleven motivational quotations for Day #263.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "Keys to overcoming boredom: Entering the room of choices," reads as follows: "As I prepared for church this morning, it seemed to me I had just done it, even though it was a full week ago.  When I pulled down all the Christmas decorations from the attic, it seemed as if I just put them up there the day before. Time flies, the routines become repetitive, and there seems to be little that is new and different.  It is easy to get caught up in the every day, become drugged by the nausea and din of life, and “go with the flow” because it requires no thought, satisfies our comfort zone, and permits nothing but our base survival instincts — routines that are deeply entrenched."                                                                             
                                                                                      

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Now is the time to combat boredom more directly.  You are now in the room of choices.  Surround yourself with positive people, keep active, read new, interesting, positive material on the Internet, eat healthy food, begin a regular exercise routine, and get enough sleep.  With a more positive and optimistic outlook, you need to accept that some boredom in life is inevitable.  Do what has to be done as quickly as possible, and get on with it.  Life can’t be all fun and games.  Pat Riley, the basketball coach said, “If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges” — the challenges offered in the room of choices.

And Then Some News

Paradise beneath her feet: How women are transforming the middle east

By Isobel Coleman


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


From the back flyleaf: “Isobel Coleman is a senior fellow for U.S. foreign policy at the Council on Foreign Relations, where she also directs the council’s Women and Foreign Policy program.”  From one of the reviews (this one by Jeanette) at Amazon.com: “This book is the result of nearly a decade of travel, study, interviews, and writing about women in the Middle East.”


Talk about convincing!  Wow.  Coleman offers direct (sometimes anecdotal, much more often statistical) evidence to prove the value of giving money to women (not men), and educating women (along with men).  Here, she writes about educating women: “Due to the central role women play in the domestic sphere, increasing a mother’s schooling has a larger positive impact on the next generation than does adding to a father’s schooling by the same number of years” (p. 19).  The direct, positive correlation between a country’s openness to educating women and that country’s rise from poverty is clear and well established.


I thought Coleman’s comments about promoting women to government positions as a way to counter extremism was insightful and accurate.  (Isn’t it interesting that in America (between 1848 and 1920) “conservative Christians sustained a consistent rhetoric that giving women rights was against the teachings of the Bible, and would undermine the family” (p. 27), and as recently as 2010: “The Vatican today [July 15, 2010] made the ‘attempted ordination’ of women one of the gravest crimes under church law, putting it in the same category as clerical sex abuse of minors, heresy and schism.”  Can you believe it?  Islam doesn’t even allow men and women to pray together (p. 33).)


The key sentence of the book, and the point Coleman makes throughout her interviews and observations is this: “Islamists are trying to impose their restrictions on women . . . at a time when globalization and modernization are working in the other direction by inexorably expanding female opportunities” (p. 53).  Of course, her approach is much broader than this, and her research, interviews, and specifics about life for women in the Mideast cover a far wider range, too.


There are five countries which Coleman profiles regarding women’s rights: Iran, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, and Iraq.   Her writing is clear and easily digestible, her insights and observations are well-described and specific, and the anecdotes and stories are engaging and revealing.  Reading the profile she offers on each country is heart-stopping, breath-taking, and mind-bending — especially if you have never traveled in these countries or have little familiarity with various ways-of-life around the world.  It is hard to believe that countries could be this backward, regressive, and wrong-footed.  (In Afghanistan, a deeply conservative country, Coleman writes about it today: “The resurgent threat of the Taliban looms largest over the country’s women.”)


Incidentally, the stories Coleman tells throughout the book alone, will not just hold your attention, they will rivet you to your seat.


Look at what Coleman reports about Saudi Arabia: “Saudi Arabia is a country of contrasts, no more so than with respect to women.  Saudi women are internationally recognized doctors.  They are prominent businesswomen running global companies.  They are Ph.D. economists and scientists.  They are deans of colleges and heads of university departments.  They are journalists and newscasters.  Yet none of these women can drive in their home country or vote in a local election.  Saudi women enjoy fewer legal rights than women in any other country in the world today” (p. 205).  Did you know that?  These are the kinds of facts that you will learn from reading Coleman’s book.


Of course, Coleman goes much further than simply giving informational profiles of each country and how they treat their women.  Her emphasis is about how women are working to change their repressive environments.  What organizations are they forming?  How are they using their academic, professional, and economic successes to break down their country’s pervasive discriminatory policies and social attitudes?  In what ways are they experiencing political success and where are women’s reform efforts paying off?  This is the driving force of this book, and, too, it is what gives Coleman’s writing energy and vigor.


I don’t know whether you can tell it or not, but I loved this book.  One reviewer on Amazon.com writes: “Well-researched, well-written, and incredibly informative book by Coleman on Islamic feminism in the greater Middle East.”  I couldn’t agree more.


This book can be found at Amazon.com: Paradise beneath her feet: How women are transforming the middle east

LAUGH . . . And Then Some

In a recent USA survey, people from Detroit have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, a huge 86% of Detroit residents said that they have had sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison . . . yet . . .

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #220 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Is it nostalgia or is it music? Maybe both.

By Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.    

My wife gave me a “Wooden Music Center with Recordable CD Player” for Christmas this year.  Not particularly liking modern technology, I waited eleven days to open the box.  It sat in my study until I could muster the stamina (the sheer determination) to open it, pull the Center from its foam protection, and read the instructions.  My lack of technical expertise caused me to read with great care, but I was resolved to make this work.
    
It is true that I had been wanting an instrument that would convert my 33 1/3rd  vinyl records to CDs for some time.  I have over 500 LPs — collected over a long period — and they had been stored for close to 25 years.  I didn’t even know for certain they would still be playable.  At one point I came home with a similar music center only to find out that it did not include a recordable CD player.  
    
This Music Center my wife bought me was truly an impressive piece of equipment manufactured by Innovative Technology (i.t.).  It was made in a dark-walnut stained oak, the various parts are metal, not plastic, and it stands 12-inches high, 12-inches deep, and 20-inches across the front of it.  The best part of it, however, for a non-techie, is how easy it is to use.  Basically, when recording from vinyl to CD, it involves adjusting two volume controls, pressing a record button, and then pressing a press/play button just after the needle hits the record.
    
I immediately set up a portable 2-foot by 4-foot table in my study and adjusted its height to 30-inches so that I would have a solid place to put the Music Center (at eye level) and a place, as well, where I could put records, CD-Rs, and CD sleeves for labeling each.  Also, I could keep the instructions for the Music Center operation open and at a convenient height for reading when it comes time to finalize CDs.
    
All of this information is only a prelude to what was to come.  I began the process of recording CDs just a short five days ago, and to date I have burned 20 CD-Rs or close to 40% of my first purchase of 50 CD-Rs.  It has been an unbelievable trip back through the years.
    
For me, listening to these old LPs, stirs up wonderful memories.  One of the initial reasons for investing in them in the first place was my love of music.  A secondary reason was the enjoyment from having music in the background as I studied, read, and wrote.  Many of the songs took me back to some of the early speeches and articles I wrote as a young instructor and assistant professor at Indiana University and then the University of Massachusetts.  The  music truly uplifts and transports me.
    
It is interesting that as I listen to these records my mood is enhanced.  I feel more joyous, lighthearted, and ebullient.  I trace much of this to the reasons why I began collecting records in the first place.  Originally, it was the available form in which I could purchase music inexpensively — 45 rpms.  In the beginning, I collected for pleasure, but soon after that, I discovered that having the latest songs promoted my popularity.  When I became leader of my church youth group, I promoted dances among the youth and with other youth groups as well.  In all cases, it was my record player that we used and my records to which people would dance.  Those were wonderful days of fun.
    
When my family went around the world, I took a large number of 45s along with me.  That was when rock ‘n roll was new, and many other cultures had just heard of it (1960-61).  My younger sister taught me how to dance, and we would put on exhibitions.  For example, in Karachi, West Pakistan, where we stayed for two weeks prior to going to Dacca, East Pakistan (now Bangladesh), where both my parents (Fulbright scholars) taught, we would go to the main hotel downtown to dance in the evenings, and we always drew large crowds of onlookers.
    
You can easily see that for a person just beginning college (and my sister who was still in high school), these exhibition experiences did wonders for our confidence and egos.  It never failed that our dancing served as conversation starters.  People, of course, wanted to know where we were from, where we learned to dance, and what we were doing so far away from home.
    
As I sit here and write this essay, I can remember no negative experiences associated with the songs I am listening to.  And, what is truly amazing, as I was looking over the LPs I collected many years ago, I have continued to make similar choices in the CDs I have chosen to collect even today — which amounts to nearly the same number of LPs.  It is surprising that my tastes have not changed substantially.
    
For the purposes of writing this essay, I Googled “the benefits of nostalgia,” and I discovered a website that serves as support for my observations above.  At HealthPsych.com, in an essay entitled, “Sweet, sweet memories,” the author, a psychologist from Australia, writes about such nostalgic experiences:   
  
“Psychologist Tim Wildschut and his colleagues have found nostalgic memories, such as I experienced, to be a potent mood booster. They found that people who  write about good memories are more cheerful compared to people who write about everyday events, report higher self-esteem and feel more positively about their personal relationships. These findings reinforce earlier studies which also show the protective psychological benefits of nostalgia.”
    
I wonder if those who collect music, in whatever form, tend to be more cheerful than the general population?  I wonder, too, if those who continually play the music they played, purchased, or heard during their “growing years” tend to have higher self-esteem or feel more positively about their personal relationships?
    
At About.com:StressManagement Elizabeth Scott, in an essay entitled, “Music and Your Body: How Music Affects Us and Why Music Therapy Promotes Health - How and Why Is Music A Good Tool For Health?” writes about the profound effect music can have on your body and psyche.  In addition to stimulating brain waves, counteracting stress, producing a positive state of mind by keeping depression and anxiety at bay, lowering blood pressure (which can also reduce the risk of stroke and other health problems over time), and boosting immunity, it also can ease muscle tension.
    
Then I wondered if it was the nostaligia or the music having the positive effect?  Perhaps it was a little of both.  Whatever the cause, the effect was positive, encouraging, and revitalizing.
-----
Michael Pollick, at wiseGEEK.com, has an essay on, “Is nostalgia healthy?”   The essence of his essay is contained in this sentence, “While nostalgia in reasonable doses can provide a sense of comfort for stressed-out adults, too much nostalgia can have a negative effect.”

At Success Consciousness.com, Remez Sasson has written an essay on, “The power of positive thinking.”  Although I found music to assist me in thinking positively (as in the essay above), Sasson offers at least six additional, specific, and practical suggestions.  There are many essays on positive thinking; this one is short and to the point.
-----
Copyright July, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.

Day #262 - Make the best your best.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.  Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves." --Dale Carnegie

Day #262 - Make the best your best.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of ten motivational quotations for Day #262.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of the essay, "Is it nostalgia or is it music? Maybe both." reads as follows: "My wife gave me a “Wooden Music Center with Recordable CD Player” for Christmas year.  Not particularly liking modern technology, I waited eleven days to open the box.  It sat in my study until I could muster the stamina (the sheer determination) to open it, pull the Center from its foam protection, and read the instructions.  My lack of technical expertise caused me to read with great care, but I was resolved to make this work."
                                                                   
                                                                                      

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Then I wondered if it was the nostalgia or the music having the positive effect?  Perhaps it was a little of both.  Whatever the cause, the effect was positive, encouraging, and revitalizing.

And Then Some News

A game of character: A family journey from Chicago’s southside to the ivy league and beyond

By Craig Robinson with Mim Eichler Rivas


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


If you’re just looking for a book of inspiration — searching for love, seeking discipline, establishing respect, living with conviction, being relentless, revealing passion — this would be a good choice.


If the book you want to read would be one about parental influence — that is, how parents can positively affect one’s life, and the imprint parents can leave on their children and their children’s values — this would be a good choice.


If, instead, you want a book about character — how a single person with strong motivation and unbelievable conviction — not only can influence others, but in special, well-orchestrated ways does influence those around him — this would be a good choice.


This is a well-written book in which Robinson derives important lessons from the way he was raised, the influences of both his parents, and the various guides and suggestions from his environment (teachers, professors, other coaches, co-players, kids he coached, and mentors) that he shares with his readers.


However, if you want a book that gives insight into the character of both Michelle Obama or Barack Obama, then this becomes an even more enjoyable and insightful choice.  For example, I found fascinating the way Craig and his sister, Michelle, went about vetting Barack — determining whether or not he would be a suitable suitor.  The insights Craig derived from the way Barack played a “pick-up” basketball game were both delightful and telling.  


It was great fun reading about how Michelle (Craig calls her Miche) LaVaughn Robinson met Barack (while he was interning at the Sidley Austin law firm in Chicago).  Craig writes of Miche’s interest: “But before that evening when we first met him, apparently Barack almost blew it by asking her out that first summer when he worked for her as an intern.  Big mistake!  When I heard about that, I had little hope for the guy.  Michelle turned him down, adamantly.  While I didn’t get the transcript of what she said, I can assure you that when my sister is adamant about something, there is no negotiating to follow” (p. 149).  There is much more on this, but this gives you an idea of how much insight and information Craig shares — and how he uses examples from his life to draw lessons.  In this case it was how the types of choices we make reveal character.


It was even more fun reading about Sasha as the flower-girl at Craig’s wedding, how she was coached, and then how she performed — dropping one petal at a time “with thoughtful strategy and purpose” (p. 184).  Delightful stuff.


How Michelle delivered the “best-man toast” at the reception was also insightful.  When she became choked-up, Barack “rose from his seat and went to stand next to her,” and how “I [Craig] went to stand on the other side of my sister—but I was more emotional than the two of them.  And by the time Michelle was done, everybody in the place was crying like a baby” (p. 186).


The way Barack introduced the idea of running for the presidency, how he bounced the idea off Craig, and how Barack “asked if I [Craig] minded talking to Michelle about how this window of opportunity might not ever be available again . . .” (p. 189), is truly fascinating history.  What Craig experienced emotionally before confronting Miche and his mother about Barack’s intentions was interesting, and how he prepared for both meetings was eye-opening to say the least (pp. 189-192).


Craig offers insider information about the planning and running of the campaign for the presidency and the role he was asked and came to play in the campaign.  He talks about the importance that the interactive Web site played in the campaign and how “the game plan developed by Barack with his closest strategists (David Axelrod and David Plouffe) hinged on changing the game of politics as usual” (p. 198).  There is no one else who can provide these insights, observations, and responses.  What the Obama campaign asked of Craig Robinson was really “above his pay grade,” but how he responded, prepared, and delivered is information you will not find elsewhere.


I thought what Craig writes about the campaign’s response to the “out-and-out-lies being reported as fact” was exceptional information: “Indeed, Barack, Michelle, and all of the Obama fr President staff would stay up above the fray and not get into the mud-slinging.  In the general election, that quality of character — keeping your cool and having the right temperament — would help win the day.  Barack’s natural ability to remain calm and focused on the problem at hand — ‘No Drama Obama’ — thus made him the leader that America needed at a time of grave uncertainties.  It’s one of his attributes that continues to amaze me [Craig], and I know him pretty well” (p. 209).


Sure, the book is about Craig, about basketball, and about character, but this book is amazing on a number of different levels.  At just 256 pages, it is well worth the read!


This book can be found at Amazon.com:  A game of character: A family journey from Chicago’s southside to the ivy league and beyond

Book Review Mondays

The Body Toxic: How the hazardous chemistry of everyday things threatens our health and well-being
by Nena Baker

Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

http://www.amazon.com/Body-Toxic-Hazardous-Chemistry-Well-being/dp/0865477078

This is a self-help book for curbing chemical poisoning. It is an informative, well-supported (26 pages of notes), engaging (because of the numerous stories she tells that illustrate the hazards of toxic chemicals beyond the scientific facts), and well-written book that will very likely cause you to make changes in your life and, if not, to become more aware of your immediate environment. K. Lorimor of Phoenix, Arizona, writes, “Since I read this book, I have been changing the way I shop, cook and buy. I read labels from food to cleaning supplies to shampoo and conditioners and more.” Baker is clearly an investigative reporter, and if nothing else, if she can initiate a national conversation about toxic substances, our exposure to them, and their prevalence in our world, she has served a valuable purpose. This is a book everyone should read but, especially mothers. Actually, this book should be a call to action for everyone.


No time to think: The menace of media speed and the 24-hour news cycle
by Howard Rosenberg and Charles S. Feldman

Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

http://www.amazon.com/No-Time-Think-Menace-24-hour/dp/0826429319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240357502&sr=1-1

I am attracted to books that challenge you and make you think, and this fits neatly into that category. This is a well-written book full of specific facts, examples, and situations. With the downsizing or disappearance of many newspapers, it is a timely book as well. Any “news junkie” over the past decade will recognize most of what the authors write about. Their expertise goes unchallenged, and Cliff Milledge, in his critique of the book on Amazon.com writes about the advantage of having these co-authors: “there's a good reason why this book has two authors. Feldman spent 20 years as a TV and radio reporter as the guy in front of the camera or the mic, and Rosenberg covered the media for the LA Times (and won a Pulitzer along the way). The net effect is that you get a real feel for how our news actually gets put together from an insider and an outsider, each of whom brings a unique perspective and old school journalistic morals.” Not only does the situation of newspapers in our nation create a need for such a book as this, but their focus is the effects of the rise of 24-hour cable news and internet blogging. There is much food for thought in this book because the authors suggest that the media blizzard each person receives scrambles their perspective and, potentially, distorts how they act — and it affects consumers, politicians, and government leaders. If you have any interest in the future of journalism, Rosenberg and Feldman offer an urgent wake-up call.

----

Through our reading, researching, and writing, And Then Some Publishing (and our extended family of readers) mine volumes of books representing a wide variety of tastes. We use the books in our writing, test and try suggested techniques, and we read for enjoyment as well. We wouldn't spend the time reviewing the books if we didn't get something out of it. Read more reviews on other fantastic books at our BookWorksRules.com website.

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.  Can I get a new attorney?

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From Day #218 in a complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

What one letter can do II

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.    

I had just picked up a copy of Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval’s book, The power of small: Why little things make all the difference (Boradway Books, 2009) as a small item occurred that made a big difference in some people’s lives.  This story is what their book is about.
    
On May 20, 2009, at the request of my granddaughter, Mckenzie, I donated blood at Woodland School in Perrysburg, Ohio.  For me, donating is a regular thing, and I donate as often as I can.  While donating, I signaled the woman in charge of the donation to come to my donation site.
    
When she arrived I told her of a lingering concern of mine which I had expressed for the past several years each time I donated.  I showed her the “dirty” sponge ball I was compressing as I was donating, and then I told her of a grim statistic which truly made her grimace.
    
“Are you aware,” I said with forthrightness, “that most men don’t wash their hands with soap and water after going to the bathroom?”
    
It looked to me as if she was completely unaware of this, and she replied something to the effect of, “Oh, yuck.”
    
She proceeded at once to let me know that she would make a note of it and pass on my concern to her superiors.  She went back to her table and lifted up her pad and pen to show that she was engaged in the writing of the memo.
    
Now, I have no idea about the effect/results of her memo (and I heard nothing more about it), but when I went home I used the Internet to locate the name of the executive director of the American Red Cross in the greater Toledo area, and I sat down to write Tim Yenrick a letter.
    
I alerted Mr. Yenrick to the situation, and I quoted statistics I found from Science Daily (quoting from my letter to him) that reported “that only 66% of men wash their hands with soap and water after going to the bathroom.  The percentage,” the report stated, “is much higher (88%) for women.”  “If the report were based on my own observations alone,” I wrote in my letter to Mr. Yenrick, “I would suggest that barely 50% of men wash their hands with soap and water after going to the bathroom.”
    
“What this means,” the letter to Mr. Yenrick continues, “is that 33% of men and at least 12% of women who grip this rubber ball have not washed their hands with soap and water after going to the bathroom.”  My letter continues: “From the website, WinkNews.com, I quote for your interest: ‘Frequent hand washing is the single best thing people can do to avoid getting sick, from colds and the flu to germs lurking in food, doctors say.’”
    
I gave Mr. Yenrick several possible solutions, let him know that I am not a constant complainer nor one who creates problems, provided him a way to contact me, and mentioned that I would appreciate a response to my letter.
    
Less than one week later, Ms. Peggy A. Holewinski, Development Officer, American Red Cross, Greater Toledo Area Chapter, responded by email, on behalf of Mr. Yenrick, who said she understood my “concerns over disease transmission and the re-use of a rubber ball during blood donations.”  “However,” she added, “the American Red Cross is one organization with two divisions.  Blood Services and Chapter.  We have forwarded a copy of your letter,” she said, “to the CEO of Blood Services.”  And she provided the name, address, phone, and email of: Mr. Donald L. Baker, Chief Executive Officer, American Red Cross, Western Lake Erie Blood Services Region
    
Ms. Holewinski added, “I am certain Mr. Baker will be in touch with you next week.”
    
On July 8, 2009, Ms. Kathy Smith, Director, Donor Services, Western Lake Erie Blood Services Region, called me to explain she had received a copy of my letter, and that she was going to do something about it.  She said that about a year ago (in 2008), the matter had been raised, but (apologizing profusely) she admitted she had not followed through on the complaint.  She said that my letter would prompt not just her attention but action as well.
    
That evening (July 8, 2009), I checked the messages I had received, and there was an email message from Ms. Smith saying, “Thank you again for taking my call today and for your patience in the timeliness of our region’s response.”
    
She continued in her email message saying, “I just received the memo prepared by our collection team supervisor and see that the date we will start having the hand sanitizer on the canteen table will be Monday [July] 13th.  This memo is going in our team’s mailboxes today [July 8, 2009].  We’ll ask that our Supervisors spot check for a few weeks to watch for consistency on this practice.  Please do let me know if your next experience doesn’t include this opportunity to clean your hands after donation."  Most people move from the donation site to a table where they consume water, coffee, cookies, and other snacks---meaning that they convey the germs from their hands directly to their mouth.

A hand sanitizer located between donation sites and the canteen area made very good sense.
    
In her last paragraph, Ms. Kathy Smith thanked me for my loyalty and commitment, and she explained, “About 5% of our total eligible population donates blood.  Most of us have had family, friends, co-workers or neighbors that have been recipients of this life saving gift.  Thank you for your contribution of blood and for the time you give us with each donation.  You serve patients in need.”
    
With her letter to me, Ms. Smith enclosed an attachment.  It was the memo from Chet Greene, Collection Team Supervisor, “To Collections Supervisors and Regulatory staff,” with a copy to both Kathy Smith and Michele Blodgett (with whom I have had no contact).  The subject line reads: “Sani Hand Cleaner.”  And this is what the memo said:
     
          “Due to recent concerns from our donors about the squeeze balls used during 
         phlebotomy  and the potential for germ transmission we are requesting that a 
         bottle of the Sani Hand Cleanser be put in canteen areas for donors use after 
         they leave the VP area to enjoy canteen snacks....This will help to enhance the 
         donors’ overall experience at our blood drives.  We would like for you to begin 
         this starting Monday 07/13/09 placing a bottle of the hand cleanser in canteen 
         areas.”
    
From all that I read, it was my single letter that prompted this change.  Now when you donate blood, please don’t just notice the hand sanitizer in the canteen area, having just squeezed a dirty sponge ball as you donated, please use it before having your cookies or leaving the donation site.  Thaler and Robin Koval’s book, The power of small, offers hundreds more examples about how small things can make a big difference.
-----
 If you’ve never donated blood, this website, sponsored by the American Red Cross, is entitled, “FAQs About Donating Blood.”  On the site are listed 13 questions such as the safety and frequency of donating, as well as your eligibility, the time it takes, and how a pleasant situation can be provided.

“Life Advice About Being a Blood Donor,” offers even more and varied information.  If you’ve never donated blood, this website offers a very quick read about all aspects of the experience.  It if definitely worth a visit.
-----
Copyright July, 2011, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.

Day #261 - Do not fear the shadow of uncertainty.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."  --Swedish Proverb

Day #261 - Do not fear the shadow of uncertainty.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of three motivational quotations for Day #261.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

This is second of two essays that not only prove "the power of small," but show, too, the power of a personal letter.  The first two paragraphs of this second essay reads: "I had just picked up a copy of Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval’s book, The power of small: Why little things make all the difference (Boradway Books, 2009) as a small item occurred that may make a big difference in some people’s lives.  This story is what their book is about.
   
"On May 20, 2009, at the request of my granddaughter, Mckenzie, I donated blood at Woodland School in Perrysburg, Ohio.  For me, donating is a regular thing, and I donate as often as I can.  While donating, I signaled the woman in charge of the donation to come to my donation site."
                                                                   
                                                                                      

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

From all that I read, it was my single letter that prompted this change.  Now when you donate blood, please don’t just notice the hand sanitizer in the canteen area, having just squeezed a dirty sponge ball as you donated, please use it before having your cookies or leaving the donation site.  Thaler and Robin Koval’s book, The power of small, offers hundreds more examples about how small things can make a big difference.


And Then Some News

A god who hates: The courageous woman who inflamed the Muslim world speaks out against the evils of Islam

By Wafa Sultan


Book review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.


Everyone should read this book.  Not only is it a captivating story, not only does Sultan do an excellent job in describing and providing the specific details of her journey, and not only will this book shock you by what Sultan describes, this book is a real education about an important element/fixture in our society.  This kind of knowledge is important, essential, and necessary.


Of well over 100 books that I have reviewed, this ranks at the very top of the list.  The very top!


When you are able to digest all the information Sultan offers readers, you will be amazed at the changes in your mental state, the alteration of your beliefs, and the fundamental changes in your attitudes toward the Muslim world and, especially, Islam.  She clearly provides the examples and the evidence that Islam is an archaic, outdated, obsolete, and anachronistic religion.


There is no way that a single review of Sultan’s book can possibly do it justice, and I know that this one will not; however, if you choose not to read this book, here is some of the essential information you will miss.


On page 26, she writes: “The teachings of Islam have destroyed the men and women there, and rendered them incapable of the smallest measure of humane behavior.”


On page 28, after writing about a young woman who had been sexually abused by her father, her brother, an uncle, or another male relative, who became pregnant not long after her first period, then taken to a doctor: “One would think that a doctor’s attitude to young women in distress such as this would have been one of care and sympathy.  No relationship between a man and a woman in that sick society could be anything but oppressive and exploitative, not even the relationship between a male doctor and his female patients. . . “


Page 57: “. . . Islam, in its teachings, mode of thinking, and way of life, is still captive in a prison whose doors have not opened for fourteen centuries.  It is exactly like a man who lives in a hut in the middle of a wood.  The hut is Islam and the wood is the unknown.  To avoid his fear of the unknown the man has locked all ways in and out of his hut and refuses to go out into the wood.  The Muslim treats the world around him in the same way that the man who lives in the hut does.  He is afraid of the world around him.  His education has not encouraged him to equip himself with the skills necessary for confronting his apprehensions or probing the depths of that world.  On the contrary, this education has taught him to fear his surroundings, convinced him to mistrust them, and warned him of the evil that that world holds in store for him.”


Page 79: “In Islam, a husband owns his wife just as he does the furnishings of his home.”


P. 114: “I feel into the trap of Islam in the early years of my childhood,” Sultan writes.  When I grew older, I decided to escape from that trap.  My freedom lies in my decision.  I don’t believe that I will ever be able to free myself completely from the jaws of that trap — no one can — but my inability to do so does not detract from my freedom.  I am free now, whether I manage to free myself completely or only partially.”


P. 124: “Under this law [Islamic law] the childhood of many young girls is violated throughout the Islamic world.  In many Arab countries such as Jordan, Syria, and Egypt, hundreds of crimes are committed every year against the rights of underage girls, who have no control over their lives, by men from the Arabian Gulf states.  These men with their illicit money and their nonexistent morals take advantage of the poverty running rampant in these countries to buy minors for money.  For each girl purchased by one of these monstrous pigs, it is the beginning of a journey of suffering, which usually ends with the underage girl being returned to her family after her childhood, her womanhood, her honor, and her reputation violated in exchange for trifling sums of money, in the name of marriage in accordance with the law of God and his Prophet . . . “


PP. 127-128: “When discussing the deteriorating position of women in the Muslim world some defenders of Muslim law protest, claiming that Islam revered women, but that some of its followers had misunderstood the Koran and the Prophetic tradtion.  But I still have a question: Have the same followers misunderstood the Prophet’s attitude to women in his lifetime?  Where are the Koranic verses or Prophetic traditions that can alleviate the ugliness of these attitudes?  They are not to be found.  How can we view the marriage of a fifty-year-old man to a six-year-old girl (consummated three years later) other than as rape?  The answer is not to be found.  How can we view the marriage of a man to his son’s wife as an acceptable act?  There is no passage to make one think otherwise.  How can we view a man’s marriage to his female captive after he has attacked her tribe and killed her husband, father, and brother except as a crime?  We can’t because there are no verses or traditions to persuade us otherwise?


P. 129: “Islam was born into an environment that sanctioned the capture and rape of women, holding them — not the man committing the crime — responsible.  Islam did not proscribe what was already permissible. On the contrary, it legalized it and enshrined it in canonical law. . . .”


P. 131: “A Muslim man can see himself only in terms of his ability to pump out money and sperm.  The Muslim woman, for her part, sees herself only as an incubator for his sperm and as a piece of furniture he has bought and paid for with his money.  The man alone decides when to take possession of this object and when to deposit his sperm in it dictating a relationship in which human feelings have no value.”


P. 135: “When I began to learn to read, the Koran was the first book I opened.  I can never remember anyone explaining these versus to me in a more merciful and tolerant way than I understand them today.  Today most Muslims attack me unmercifully.  They accuse me of picking out from the Koran those verses which serve my purposes, just as I would pick the best cherries out of a boxful.  Naturally, I like this simile, and cannot see anything in it that reflects badly on my reliability.  The box that God reveals is not supposed to have any spoiled cherries in it. . . .”


P. 137: “Muslim education has stunted women to the point of depriving them of their mind and their conscience.  This education has had a profound effect on the minds of Muslim men and women alike. . . .”


P. 139: “The Muslim male is conceited.  His ogre has appointed him as his deputy and has conferred absolute power upon him.  This power knows no bounds and has no respect for women’s intelligence or emotions.  Even where something as private and personal as having sex with one’s spouse is concerned, Islam gives women no choice in the matter.  Muhammad: says in another hadith “If a man summons his wife to his bed and she refuses, the angels will curse her until the morning.”


P. 139: “When there is a conflict between obeying her husband and obeying God, a woman owes her first obedience to her husband.  This means that she is not allowed to fast or pray unless her husband agrees, as laid down by the words of the Prophet of Islam in a hadith: “A woman shall neither fast nor pray without her husband’s authorization.”


P. 153: “This is not the only incident, unfortunately, of a Muslim saying one thing to an English-speaking audience and something else entirely to an Arabic-speaking audience and something else entirely to an Arabic-speaking one.  In the wake of the September 11th attack, a study even was held at which the main — and — only speaker was a public speaker from the Muslim community.  After he had finished speaking, those present began to ask questions, and I asked him: ‘Doctor, do you believe that the Islamic books we have will contribute to the creation of a peaceable and nonviolent generation?’  The speaker was well aware of who I was and of my contributions; he, therefore, replied: ‘Absolutely not!’ implying that Islamic books need to be altered or looked at more carefully.  However, when asked by a publisher of a Lost Angeles Arabic-language newspaper if it would be okay to quote his answers word for word, he objected. . . . deep down he [the [publisher] realized that what the speaker had said in a private forum was different from what he was prepared to say publicly.”


P. 155: “Islam is a sealed flask.  Its stopper allows no ventilation.  In order to safeguard itself and guarantee its continued survival this ideological system holds its people in an iron grip and has created an oppressive and despotic relationship between society and the individual.  The individual has no freedom within his society and has been deprived of his ability to express his opinion, especially when that opinion is not the prevailing one.  Islam has deprived its followers of the most basic form of freedom — the freedom to express oneself.  And it has killed their desire to enjoy this freedom.  In order to ensure its control over the individual, it has interfered in all aspects of his life, large and small, and has planned it out for him in every particular.  It micromanages his every activity and regulates the most private moments of his life — to the point of commanding him to put his left foot before his right when he gets into the bath.”


PP. 160-161: “How can a Muslim escape the grasp of his ruler when he is completely convinced of the necessity of obeying him?  How can he protest against this obedience, which represents obedience to his Prophet and therefore also to his God?  He cannot.  Islam is indeed a despotic regime.  It has been so since its inception, and remains so today.”


P. 179: “From its earliest beginnings Islam has forcibly defended its teachings.  It resorted to force because it needed power.  It used its might to stamp out any ideas that did not fit into its program, and kept its people firmly locked up in prison.  It rejected the principle of excellence and the laws of supply and demand.  Not merchandise but its own was allowed into its marketplace.  The Koran and the life, actions, and sayings of the Prophet Muhammad were the sole source of knowledge and the only basis for legislation.  Islam imposed these sources by force and allowed no others to compete with them. . . .”


P. 192: “If you read the history and teachings of Islam you will get the initial impression that Islam is more accepting of and less hostile to Christians and Jews, as it recognizes the sanctity of their holy books.  But anyone who scrutinizes this history carefully with a critical eye will realize that Islam has declared war on both religions, and has entrusted its followers with a sacred mission: to fight them until the End of Days.”


P. 199: “I always ask myself: Why have my children, the product of American education, grown up to respect others, no matter what their religion, race, or origins?  Why was I burned by the fires of hatred until late in life, and why are people in my homeland still being burned by that fire?  Why should people in the land of my birth not learn to love, so that they can be productive, efficient, and happy like people in other countries that teach love?  Why should people in my homeland not learn to accept people who do not profess the same religion as they do, so that they can live with others in peace and harmony?  We have learned to hate others, and this hatred has hurt us more than it has hurt anyone else.”


I quote extensively from Sultan’s book to give those who have not or will not read her book more than just a taste of what I feel makes her book great — and a terrific read as well.  As noted at the opening of this review, this is an important, necessary, relevant, and significant book that should be read by everyone.  


Here is something I found fascinating.  When I wrote this review (07-16-10), there were 66 reviews on the Amazon.com website.  Of those, only 8 were negative (and two of them were written by men whose first names were Mohammed whose negative reviews would be expected, so we’re left with only 6 negative ones), but here is what is fascinating: of the remaining 58 reviews, most were 4-star reviews and the remaining few were 3-star reviews.  Not only were most of the reviews of this book 4-star (outstanding), but the reviewers took the time to write extensive reviews, not just a sentence or two.  A serious book merits serious reviews which take time to write.


This is a serious book that needs greater attention as well as more readers.


This book can be found at Amazon.com: A god who hates: The courageous woman who inflamed the Muslim world speaks out against the evils of Islam