by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
“I think that I
have never seen a man as well-defined as he,” is an adaptation of a line
written by the poet (Alfred) Joyce Kilmer, from his poem, “Trees”
(1913), “I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree.” With
my adaptation of Kilmer’s line, I am referring to my 98-year-old
father-in-law, Edgar E. Willis; however, I admit, that at 98 most people
are well defined.
This is not an
essay of complaint nor objection; rather, it is one on “reflected
appraisals.” Since most people reading this essay would not know a
“reflected appraisal” unless they met it in a college classroom and knew
they would be quizzed on it before that class ended, let me provide a
definition taken from a college textbook (mine!): Communicating Effectively, 10e, McGraw-Hill, 2012, page 35.
“ . . . Your
parents, your friends, and your teachers all tell you who you are
through reflected appraisals: messages you get about yourself from
others. Most reflected appraisals come from things people say about
you. . . . All such messages from others help create your self-concept”
(p. 35).
It is a simple
concept, and basically it reminds readers of the important role that
others play in the formation of their self-concept. It attempts to
counter or refute the idea that a self-concept is something entirely
self-derived or self-developed—that it comes from within the self and is
projected outward to others. It is true, of course, that we take the
impressions we get from others, assess them, mix and match them,
re-adjust them as necessary, and put them together, much as we assemble a
puzzle with thousands of very small pieces, to form a self-concept.
And it is true, as well, that this self-concept is constantly changing
as we go through each day. It is neither static nor invariable.
When I taught a
course in interpersonal communication (and in my interpersonal college
textbook as well), I was well-known for saying, “Other people provide
the most important source of information we get about ourselves. The
way we believe others perceive us, often is the way we perceive
ourselves.”
In this essay I
will be using the term “reflected appraisals” in a slightly different
way. I want to reflect upon the traits I have seen in my father-in-law
(Edgar) after a full year and a half of daily one-hour visits. Like the
book by Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie (1997), I have come to know
Edgar in a variety of different ways, and I am continually thinking
about what I have learned and discovered, much as Mitch learned about
Morrie Schwartz, his former professor, after he began to visit him on a
weekly basis. Rather than detail the lessons about life I have
learned—as Albom did in his book—I want to focus on the traits Edgar
reveals that I want to avoid.
It is a
coincidence that Edgar was my former professor, and throughout this
essay I want readers to know that I have the utmost respect for him. As
I write this essay (April 18, 2011), I am less than one week away from a
lecture Edgar delivered, “Who wrote the Shakespeare plays,” to a group
of just over 50 people, at the Way Public Library (Perrysburg, Ohio), at
the age of 97 years. (He is 99 as this essay is posted on the blog.)
First, for the
most part, Edgar has chosen a life of social exclusion. He now lives in
an apartment at Kingston Residence (along with over 100 other
seniors). With the exception of a monthly book-club meeting he feels he
was forced to attend, and the speech he gave at Way Library, and meals
he takes in the dining room, he attends none of the public events
(talks, entertainment, movies, or other social occasions), and prefers
to watch sports, read books, magazines, and newspapers, and enjoy daily
visits by family members—in his room, by himself.
Edgar would claim
that he gave his talk to “test his skills” and that he avoids public
events because they conflict with news shows he wants to watch on
television.
Second, and
closely related to the first idea above, Edgar avoids social contacts.
He eats with a group of men at breakfast, and there are two people at
his table for lunch and dinner with whom he shares small talk. Other
than that, the only social contacts he has are with family members. He
never lingers in the lounge, seeks conversation with others in the
Residence, nor enjoys being with others. He stays in his room, sits in a
comfortable chair, and either reads or watches sports or news programs
on television. If he was not forced to go to the dining room for meals,
he would have all meals delivered to his room. Unless dictated by
illness or health problems, there is an additional cost for having meals
in his room.
Third, as can be
seen from my description in the paragraph above, Edgar is extremely
frugal. One of the things that made him happy about moving to Kingston
Residence was that his financial capital would not be touched. His
monthly Social Security and retirement checks fully cover his rent, and
then some. Financially, he is extremely solvent, and he could be more
generous if he chose to be. I know this is a personal decision, but he
has limited himself in unnecessary ways. For example, he would enjoy
television more if he upgraded one level to include both a golf channel
and a classic-movie channel—but he won’t. He could enjoy meals with
family members in a special dining room in the Residence—or take them
out to a nice restaurant—but he won’t. He could pay his granddaughter
for cutting his hair—but he won’t. (He has compensated her in many
other very generous ways, however.)
There is a fourth
characteristic, too, and that is that Edgar is critical. Over the
years he has formed a number of opinions about others that he will not
alter in any way. For example, he formed an opinion of Diane Sawyer,
the ABC-news-reader, because she worked for Richard Nixon, and now he
will not watch her. He formed opinions of Tiger Woods, not because of
his womanizing, but because he raised his fist in a gesture (“up yours”)
that he considered inappropriate, had a foul mouth, and showed
disrespect to his gallery, that followed him throughout his career. He
has strong negative opinions about a foot doctor in his Residence who he
feels was late to an appointment, and he will not see him again.
Nurses who detain him for the administration of his pills quickly gain
admission to his devil’s list, and are never forgiven for their
lateness—essentially, making him wait.
In all these
cases, the reflected appraisals have taught me what I do not want to be
and what I do not want to do. Not to be totally negative, Edgar reads,
watches sports, is aware, alert, and mentally active, and he has an
incredible memory. Even though most of what I have observed, as noted
in this essay, are negative traits I want to avoid, they make me a
stronger person by underscoring and firming-up the positive traits I
have in place. Reflected appraisals have the potential for making you a
stronger person with more clearly defined characteristics.
- - - - - - -
If you want more information on reflected appraisals, the JSTOR
website and the article, “Reflected appraisals and self-esteem,: by the
authors Charles Jaret, et. al., is an excellent resource for two
reasons: 1) the information here is succinct and to the point, and 2)
the sources that support this theory are offered in abundance and
efficiently.
Alieshia Escalera
has a short little essay, “Reflected Appraisal. When You Look in the
Mirror, What Do You See?” that covers the definition, application, and
value of reflected appraisals.
- - - - - - -
Copyright December, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Showing posts with label Essay by Richard L. Weaver II. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Essay by Richard L. Weaver II. Show all posts
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Transitions
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
It’s been happening a lot lately. Life transitions are being thrust before me, and I’ve heard that it gets worse as you get older. There have been a number of deaths, some people have entered “care facilities,” and there has been a wedding (one of my two sons, and the last of my four children, got married).
More than five years ago now, I read Gail Sheehy’s Passages (Ballantine Books, 2006), and I have been dramatically affected by it ever since. I never wrote a review of it (I wasn’t writing book reviews at the time), but the first review I found by Bertz “Happier” from Hawaii, at Amazon.com captured my thoughts exactly. This is just the very first part of the review: “Reading Passages by Gail Sheehy was a turning point in my life. I especially remember, ‘The most important words in midlife are — Let Go. Let it happen to you. Let it happen to your partner. Let the feelings. Let the changes.’ ‘You can't take everything with you when you leave on the midlife journey.’ ‘You are moving out of roles and into the self.’”
It’s not that I have been bereft of significant transitions in my own life nor that I did not know how to deal with them. It’s is simply — like many aspects of life — when they happen to you, you think you are the Lone Ranger. That is, you think you are the only one experiencing them and life crises only happen to you. Be quiet and move on with your life! Sheehy’s book is an eye opener only because she serves as a guide, mentor, and significant confidant.
One major transition for me was from being single to being married. When I left for Indiana University to study for my Ph.D., my future wife and I talked about the transition. We decided that for the move we would either be married, or we would split up. There was going to be no long-distance relationship. This was an important transition and contributed significantly to my successful work on my Ph.D. I had no choice except to want to do well, not just for myself, but now for a wife and a future family. Time to get serious. It was as if “life” was shouting: “Grow up now!”
When I moved from Indiana University to the University of Massachusetts, from graduate teaching assistant to instructor then professor, it was a major transition. From being a student to operating as a full-time college teacher can rattle your sensibilities. For twenty years I had only known how to “be a student,” and suddenly, within a four-month time span, I was on the other side solely responsible for my own students. Sure, being a graduate teaching assistant helped ease the transition, introduced me to college teaching, and set a valuable course of action; however, anyone can train, guide, and instruct, but they can’t get into your head and make the transition for you.
There was never a time during my professional life that I wasn’t writing. I published at least five scholarly articles from my dissertation alone — a rather remarkable outcome, I was told. Those successes led to many others (about 96 published articles), but none of my professional writing came close to the transition from unpublished book author to published book author.
I haven’t ever thought about why this was such a worthy transition for me until now. I think there are a number of reasons for it. First, I used between 50 and 100 textbooks (maybe more!) from the beginning of my formal (in class) educational career to when I completed my Ph.D. This fact, alone, put textbook writers on an especially high pedestal. That is because I always took my education seriously, read the books assigned, and performed well above average.
The second reason the transition from article writer to textbook author was significant was the praise I heard for textbook authors. The books we used were often subjects of conversation, the theories espoused were regularly bases for argument, and once I achieved the status of “professor,” books and authors were often compared and discussed. I enjoyed the thought of being the subject of such discussions.
When I interviewed for a position at Bowling Green State University (BGSU) (Spring, 1973), my first textbook (Speech/Communication (Van Nostrand, 1974), co-authored with Saundra Hybels) was just published, and I made it clear in the interview that I wanted to adopt the book for the basic speech course I was being asked to direct. There wasn’t a sign of dissension among those interviewing me — and I specifically looked for it. Actually, in retrospect, having a newly published textbook that satisfied exactly, the format of the course I was being asked to direct, increased my credibility among those faculty members. Not one of them had ever published a textbook.
Because the course I directed was large, and this was my first of a number of textbooks I authored, you would have a difficult time imagining what a thrill it was to see students on campus carrying around my textbook. I was a published, college-textbook author! Quite a transition.
As an aside here, it is that same textbook, with a different title, that is going into its 10th edition (Communicating Effectively, McGraw-Hill, 2012) — a continuous publishing record (counting Speech/Communication, 1974, as the starting point), with this one book, alone, of 38 years!
There have been other transitions, too. Like from having no children to being a parent. Then, the transition from being a parent of children to being a parent of teenagers! And the transition I like least of all is from “adult” to “wise old man” — especially when the emphasis is on “old.”
What I have enjoyed, too (for the most part), is watching our grown children and their children go through life’s transitions. This time, however, you watch with a different perspective since you have done it yourself, and since you are older and wiser now. At least, older!
Life goes on. Likewise, transitions go on, too. What has been especially fun for me is that I have had the opportunity not just to observe all of this, but I have had the thrill of documenting and writing about it. Probably the most important idea in the life transitioning that takes place is being flexible and adaptable, because often transitions cause change — if not physically, at least attitudinally. They cannot be avoided; attitude shifts take place, and life goes on. I think Gail Sheehy had it right. Maybe the best thing we can do is just to Let Go!
- - - - - - - - -
At Faye Schindelka’s web site, Wisdom-of-Spirit.com, her essay, “Adopting a positive attitude towards life shifts our personal vibration,” is right on target. The following comment she makes is really the central idea of her essay: “By slowing down our pace and savoring each small part of our daily routine, we add a richness to our experience. Best of all, we experience more joy throughout the course of our day.”
At Ezine Articles, the essay, “Negotiating difficult life transitions,” by Garrett Coan, offers 14 different and easy-to-apply coping skills. Coan ends his very worthwhile essay saying: “Times of life transitions offer you the chance to explore what your ideal life would look like. When things are in disarray, you can reflect on the hopes and dreams you once had but perhaps forgot about. Take this time to write about them in a journal or talk about them with a trusted friend or therapist. Now is a good time to take advantage of the fork in the road.”
- - - - - - - -
Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
It’s been happening a lot lately. Life transitions are being thrust before me, and I’ve heard that it gets worse as you get older. There have been a number of deaths, some people have entered “care facilities,” and there has been a wedding (one of my two sons, and the last of my four children, got married).
More than five years ago now, I read Gail Sheehy’s Passages (Ballantine Books, 2006), and I have been dramatically affected by it ever since. I never wrote a review of it (I wasn’t writing book reviews at the time), but the first review I found by Bertz “Happier” from Hawaii, at Amazon.com captured my thoughts exactly. This is just the very first part of the review: “Reading Passages by Gail Sheehy was a turning point in my life. I especially remember, ‘The most important words in midlife are — Let Go. Let it happen to you. Let it happen to your partner. Let the feelings. Let the changes.’ ‘You can't take everything with you when you leave on the midlife journey.’ ‘You are moving out of roles and into the self.’”
It’s not that I have been bereft of significant transitions in my own life nor that I did not know how to deal with them. It’s is simply — like many aspects of life — when they happen to you, you think you are the Lone Ranger. That is, you think you are the only one experiencing them and life crises only happen to you. Be quiet and move on with your life! Sheehy’s book is an eye opener only because she serves as a guide, mentor, and significant confidant.
One major transition for me was from being single to being married. When I left for Indiana University to study for my Ph.D., my future wife and I talked about the transition. We decided that for the move we would either be married, or we would split up. There was going to be no long-distance relationship. This was an important transition and contributed significantly to my successful work on my Ph.D. I had no choice except to want to do well, not just for myself, but now for a wife and a future family. Time to get serious. It was as if “life” was shouting: “Grow up now!”
When I moved from Indiana University to the University of Massachusetts, from graduate teaching assistant to instructor then professor, it was a major transition. From being a student to operating as a full-time college teacher can rattle your sensibilities. For twenty years I had only known how to “be a student,” and suddenly, within a four-month time span, I was on the other side solely responsible for my own students. Sure, being a graduate teaching assistant helped ease the transition, introduced me to college teaching, and set a valuable course of action; however, anyone can train, guide, and instruct, but they can’t get into your head and make the transition for you.
There was never a time during my professional life that I wasn’t writing. I published at least five scholarly articles from my dissertation alone — a rather remarkable outcome, I was told. Those successes led to many others (about 96 published articles), but none of my professional writing came close to the transition from unpublished book author to published book author.
I haven’t ever thought about why this was such a worthy transition for me until now. I think there are a number of reasons for it. First, I used between 50 and 100 textbooks (maybe more!) from the beginning of my formal (in class) educational career to when I completed my Ph.D. This fact, alone, put textbook writers on an especially high pedestal. That is because I always took my education seriously, read the books assigned, and performed well above average.
The second reason the transition from article writer to textbook author was significant was the praise I heard for textbook authors. The books we used were often subjects of conversation, the theories espoused were regularly bases for argument, and once I achieved the status of “professor,” books and authors were often compared and discussed. I enjoyed the thought of being the subject of such discussions.
When I interviewed for a position at Bowling Green State University (BGSU) (Spring, 1973), my first textbook (Speech/Communication (Van Nostrand, 1974), co-authored with Saundra Hybels) was just published, and I made it clear in the interview that I wanted to adopt the book for the basic speech course I was being asked to direct. There wasn’t a sign of dissension among those interviewing me — and I specifically looked for it. Actually, in retrospect, having a newly published textbook that satisfied exactly, the format of the course I was being asked to direct, increased my credibility among those faculty members. Not one of them had ever published a textbook.
Because the course I directed was large, and this was my first of a number of textbooks I authored, you would have a difficult time imagining what a thrill it was to see students on campus carrying around my textbook. I was a published, college-textbook author! Quite a transition.
As an aside here, it is that same textbook, with a different title, that is going into its 10th edition (Communicating Effectively, McGraw-Hill, 2012) — a continuous publishing record (counting Speech/Communication, 1974, as the starting point), with this one book, alone, of 38 years!
There have been other transitions, too. Like from having no children to being a parent. Then, the transition from being a parent of children to being a parent of teenagers! And the transition I like least of all is from “adult” to “wise old man” — especially when the emphasis is on “old.”
What I have enjoyed, too (for the most part), is watching our grown children and their children go through life’s transitions. This time, however, you watch with a different perspective since you have done it yourself, and since you are older and wiser now. At least, older!
Life goes on. Likewise, transitions go on, too. What has been especially fun for me is that I have had the opportunity not just to observe all of this, but I have had the thrill of documenting and writing about it. Probably the most important idea in the life transitioning that takes place is being flexible and adaptable, because often transitions cause change — if not physically, at least attitudinally. They cannot be avoided; attitude shifts take place, and life goes on. I think Gail Sheehy had it right. Maybe the best thing we can do is just to Let Go!
- - - - - - - - -
At Faye Schindelka’s web site, Wisdom-of-Spirit.com, her essay, “Adopting a positive attitude towards life shifts our personal vibration,” is right on target. The following comment she makes is really the central idea of her essay: “By slowing down our pace and savoring each small part of our daily routine, we add a richness to our experience. Best of all, we experience more joy throughout the course of our day.”
At Ezine Articles, the essay, “Negotiating difficult life transitions,” by Garrett Coan, offers 14 different and easy-to-apply coping skills. Coan ends his very worthwhile essay saying: “Times of life transitions offer you the chance to explore what your ideal life would look like. When things are in disarray, you can reflect on the hopes and dreams you once had but perhaps forgot about. Take this time to write about them in a journal or talk about them with a trusted friend or therapist. Now is a good time to take advantage of the fork in the road.”
- - - - - - - -
Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Everyone needs to have a PHD
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
Don’t for a single minute think I am undercutting, overselling, or even suggesting that a Ph.D. is so easy to obtain that anyone (everyone) can or should get it. First, it is only available to those who qualify and are accepted into such a program. Second, it requires extensive, complete, positive references from former professors who know the candidate well. Third, it requires a commitment of three or four years (usually at a minimum) beyond the master’s degree. (Sometimes a master’s degree or equivalent credits are subsumed within the requirements for a Ph.D.) Fourth, it requires successfully completing a great deal of graduate-level course work. In most programs that means 15 courses including a number of required ones. Fifth, it requires securing a graduate advisor, writing an extensive, original, well-researched dissertation, and successfully defending it before a panel of professors. These are by no means lightweight expectations, and even many who begin such a pursuit do not finish.
I loved Elim Chew’s essay, “Getting a PhD” (June 25, 2010), at the web site The Straits Times: SME Spotlight. She begins her essay with the comment, “Many People write to me and ask me a question ‘How do I become an Entrepreneur?’ My answer is simple. You need Passion, Hunger, Drive or what I call PHD.”
Chew writes that passion “is about wanting something so badly that you will do whatever it takes to attain it.” I’m sure all readers of this essay not only know what passion is but have experienced it themselves. I have found it in getting my education and in the classes I took; I have found it in finding my wife and experiencing the love I had for her; I have found it in my love for my family, writing, reading, and traveling. And, I often find it in my everyday life. There are so many things to get passionate about. I have even found that the more stimuli you have in your life and the broader experiences you have, the more opportunities you have to demonstrate and experience passion.
How do you discover your passion? The first thing you must do is find your calling. What is it in life that you feel strongly about, that you value highly, and that you are willing to support with all your heart, mind, and body? When you find your calling you will start to experience the ecstasy, pleasure, and satisfaction of an inspired life.
Once you have discovered your passion, dedicate your energy to it. Those people who love what they do are the ones who get the best results no matter what area of life it involves.
When you make your calling your work, you will never work a day in your life. It is truly what I have done with my writing.
Passion and hunger are likely to compliment each other for when you have passion, hunger often becomes an outlet for that passion. I don’t know exactly when or where my hunger for knowledge began. It is likely to be something that evolved as a direct result of being in school and liking it. I had great teachers, received positive rewards (e.g., good test scores, excellent course grades, teacher praise); thus, it is likely that there was no single point when it happened, and no single teacher who was likely to be responsible — although some of my teachers stood out more than others.
When I completed my undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan in speech (with a minor in science because of the required courses I took for my pre-medicine orientation when I entered college), I decided to go on for a master’s degree with an English minor. My love of school had blossomed, I didn’t know what to do with an undergraduate degree in speech, and I wanted more time to think about my future direction. I had three choices (with respect to my interests at the time), I was still considering becoming a Unitarian minister, going to law school, or pursuing a Ph.D. somewhere. All involved more higher education — an idea that pleased me simply because of my hunger for knowledge that was now deeply embedded.
Getting a Ph.D. was the choice I made. I figured that with a Ph.D. I could still pursue my other two options if I chose to do so later. I also thought that if no graduate school wanted me, I had two other viable alternatives. I applied, was accepted at all of the graduate schools to which I applied, and chose Indiana University simply because of a graduate, dissertation advisor who had a great reputation for being tough. I chose toughness, and Dr. Robert Gunderson lived up to every iota of his reputation. He was the most uncompromising, unsympathetic, rigorous teacher I ever encountered, but he taught me to write.
With newly acquired writing skills, I could pursue a new passion (not totally new). My passion for writing began slowly; however, with the success of passing my Ph.D. oral examinations, writing and defending my dissertation, and having a university teaching position, I could now not just satisfy my hunger, but I could indulge something new in my life — a drive.
Now all the credentials I needed were in place. A drive is something that pushes or propels you onward with force. I was in the driver’s seat; I was in charge of my life; and now I could make things happen. Also, I was an Assistant Professor — a low point on the professional step ladder.
I had a goal. I wanted to become an Associate and then a full professor. I wanted my fair share of any merit pool (money that is divided up and divvied out among those most deserving). I wanted to establish my professional, academic credentials.
That all happened within six years. Twenty-two years (at Bowling Green State University) after my first six at the University of Massachusetts, having taught over 80,000 undergraduate students and directed several hundred graduate teaching assistants, I gave up teaching for the sole purpose of writing. The drive that pushed and propelled me onward with force was successful.
Passion, hunger, and drive are important influences in anyone’s life. To find your passion, satisfy your hunger, and drive yourself toward practical, positive, and meaningful goals can result in a fully satisfying, highly rewarding, successful life. If “Ph.D.” meant “piled higher and deeper” (I’ve heard many a “clever” person remind of it.), I wouldn’t mind if it were passion, hunger, and drive that were heaped in the mound.
- - - - - - -
At the web site Dumb Little Man, the essay there, “39 Ways to Live, and not Merely Exist,” offers wonderful, motivating, practical suggestions for turning your life around.
Read Elim Chew’s great article at The Straits Times, “Getting a Ph.D.” (June 25, 2010)/ Chew ends her essay saying: “In conclusion, we know that challenges will come along the way, but our Passion, Hunger and Drive will cause us to rise above our situations. What I achieve is after 22 years of pursuit as well as sacrifices made. It is not an overnight success.
“Therefore one of my mottos is, "Love what you do and it's never work anymore." After 22 years into my business, I have encountered setbacks and challenges, but I am still as passionate, hungry and driven. So instead of sitting on your problems or challenges, go get your PHD today!”
- - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Don’t for a single minute think I am undercutting, overselling, or even suggesting that a Ph.D. is so easy to obtain that anyone (everyone) can or should get it. First, it is only available to those who qualify and are accepted into such a program. Second, it requires extensive, complete, positive references from former professors who know the candidate well. Third, it requires a commitment of three or four years (usually at a minimum) beyond the master’s degree. (Sometimes a master’s degree or equivalent credits are subsumed within the requirements for a Ph.D.) Fourth, it requires successfully completing a great deal of graduate-level course work. In most programs that means 15 courses including a number of required ones. Fifth, it requires securing a graduate advisor, writing an extensive, original, well-researched dissertation, and successfully defending it before a panel of professors. These are by no means lightweight expectations, and even many who begin such a pursuit do not finish.
I loved Elim Chew’s essay, “Getting a PhD” (June 25, 2010), at the web site The Straits Times: SME Spotlight. She begins her essay with the comment, “Many People write to me and ask me a question ‘How do I become an Entrepreneur?’ My answer is simple. You need Passion, Hunger, Drive or what I call PHD.”
Chew writes that passion “is about wanting something so badly that you will do whatever it takes to attain it.” I’m sure all readers of this essay not only know what passion is but have experienced it themselves. I have found it in getting my education and in the classes I took; I have found it in finding my wife and experiencing the love I had for her; I have found it in my love for my family, writing, reading, and traveling. And, I often find it in my everyday life. There are so many things to get passionate about. I have even found that the more stimuli you have in your life and the broader experiences you have, the more opportunities you have to demonstrate and experience passion.
How do you discover your passion? The first thing you must do is find your calling. What is it in life that you feel strongly about, that you value highly, and that you are willing to support with all your heart, mind, and body? When you find your calling you will start to experience the ecstasy, pleasure, and satisfaction of an inspired life.
Once you have discovered your passion, dedicate your energy to it. Those people who love what they do are the ones who get the best results no matter what area of life it involves.
When you make your calling your work, you will never work a day in your life. It is truly what I have done with my writing.
Passion and hunger are likely to compliment each other for when you have passion, hunger often becomes an outlet for that passion. I don’t know exactly when or where my hunger for knowledge began. It is likely to be something that evolved as a direct result of being in school and liking it. I had great teachers, received positive rewards (e.g., good test scores, excellent course grades, teacher praise); thus, it is likely that there was no single point when it happened, and no single teacher who was likely to be responsible — although some of my teachers stood out more than others.
When I completed my undergraduate degree at the University of Michigan in speech (with a minor in science because of the required courses I took for my pre-medicine orientation when I entered college), I decided to go on for a master’s degree with an English minor. My love of school had blossomed, I didn’t know what to do with an undergraduate degree in speech, and I wanted more time to think about my future direction. I had three choices (with respect to my interests at the time), I was still considering becoming a Unitarian minister, going to law school, or pursuing a Ph.D. somewhere. All involved more higher education — an idea that pleased me simply because of my hunger for knowledge that was now deeply embedded.
Getting a Ph.D. was the choice I made. I figured that with a Ph.D. I could still pursue my other two options if I chose to do so later. I also thought that if no graduate school wanted me, I had two other viable alternatives. I applied, was accepted at all of the graduate schools to which I applied, and chose Indiana University simply because of a graduate, dissertation advisor who had a great reputation for being tough. I chose toughness, and Dr. Robert Gunderson lived up to every iota of his reputation. He was the most uncompromising, unsympathetic, rigorous teacher I ever encountered, but he taught me to write.
With newly acquired writing skills, I could pursue a new passion (not totally new). My passion for writing began slowly; however, with the success of passing my Ph.D. oral examinations, writing and defending my dissertation, and having a university teaching position, I could now not just satisfy my hunger, but I could indulge something new in my life — a drive.
Now all the credentials I needed were in place. A drive is something that pushes or propels you onward with force. I was in the driver’s seat; I was in charge of my life; and now I could make things happen. Also, I was an Assistant Professor — a low point on the professional step ladder.
I had a goal. I wanted to become an Associate and then a full professor. I wanted my fair share of any merit pool (money that is divided up and divvied out among those most deserving). I wanted to establish my professional, academic credentials.
That all happened within six years. Twenty-two years (at Bowling Green State University) after my first six at the University of Massachusetts, having taught over 80,000 undergraduate students and directed several hundred graduate teaching assistants, I gave up teaching for the sole purpose of writing. The drive that pushed and propelled me onward with force was successful.
Passion, hunger, and drive are important influences in anyone’s life. To find your passion, satisfy your hunger, and drive yourself toward practical, positive, and meaningful goals can result in a fully satisfying, highly rewarding, successful life. If “Ph.D.” meant “piled higher and deeper” (I’ve heard many a “clever” person remind of it.), I wouldn’t mind if it were passion, hunger, and drive that were heaped in the mound.
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At the web site Dumb Little Man, the essay there, “39 Ways to Live, and not Merely Exist,” offers wonderful, motivating, practical suggestions for turning your life around.
Read Elim Chew’s great article at The Straits Times, “Getting a Ph.D.” (June 25, 2010)/ Chew ends her essay saying: “In conclusion, we know that challenges will come along the way, but our Passion, Hunger and Drive will cause us to rise above our situations. What I achieve is after 22 years of pursuit as well as sacrifices made. It is not an overnight success.
“Therefore one of my mottos is, "Love what you do and it's never work anymore." After 22 years into my business, I have encountered setbacks and challenges, but I am still as passionate, hungry and driven. So instead of sitting on your problems or challenges, go get your PHD today!”
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Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Coincidence --- Keep your eye out for the levers and pullies
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
“Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."
([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
“While American novelist Anne Parrish was browsing bookstores in Paris in the 1920s, she came upon a book that was one of her childhood favorites - Jack Frost and Other Stories. She picked up the old book and showed it to her husband, telling him of the book she fondly remembered as a child. Her husband took the book, opened it, and on the flyleaf found the inscription: "Anne Parrish, 209 N. Weber Street, Colorado Springs." It was Anne's very own book. (Source: While Rome Burns, Alexander Wollcott)” ([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
David G. Myers, Professor of Psychology, Hope College, begins his essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” with this paragraph: “People around me have been both amused and aghast at the news that on 9-11 the New York State Lottery's evening number game popped up the numbers 9-1-1. Is this a paranormal happening? A wink from God? Is there a message here?”
A coincidence is simply the appearance of a meaningful connection when there is none.
When you watch a quarterback who is “in the flow,” and just makes all his passes, or, when Michael Jordan hit nearly every three-point shot he attempted, and then running down the floor shrugging his shoulders and turning his palms up as if to say, “I can’t believe it either!” you are a witness to coincidence. The quarterback and Michael Jordan had the hot hands. When you see stock-market patterns, batting slumps, people driving down a busy main street and hitting every stoplight green, our pattern-seeking minds demand explanations. The goal of our minds is to connect anomalies in some meaningful way. You know as well as I do, that it is very difficult to accept the idea that something happened, and it doesn’t mean anything at all.
“One thing is certain about coincidence,” writes Jill Neimark, in an essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” at the Psychology Today: Personality web site, “the phenomenon fascinates believers and skeptics alike. It's a porthole into one of the most interesting philosophical questions we can ask: Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective? Is there a deeper order, an overarching purpose to the universe? Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it?”
“Some people find it surprising,” Robert T. Carroll writes on the Skeptic’s Dictionary web site, in an essay, “Law of truly large numbers (coincidence),” “that there are more than 16 million others on the planet who share their birthday. At a typical football game with 50,000 fans, most fans are likely to share their birthday with about 135 others in attendance. (The notable exception will be those born on February 29. There will only be about 34 fans born on that day.)”
At this web site, the Skeptic’s Dictionary, Carroll writes about Uri Geller’s explanation of the coincidences that occurred as a result of the anti-terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. “[Geller] asked everyone to pray for eleven seconds for those in need,” writes Carroll, “Why? He was convinced that there was a cryptic, numerological message in the events that occurred that day.”
Carroll provides a great conclusion to his essay that should alert everyone to be cautious in finding meaningfulness in patterns: “If we start hunting for items that seem relevant but don't fit the pattern, we will soon see that there is nothing special about Geller's list or the number 11. Only by focusing on anything that we can fit to our belief and ignoring everything that doesn't fit (confirmation bias) can we make these coincidences seem meaningful.”
At the web site Quackwatch [I love the name of this web site!], Robert Novella has an essay titled, “The Power of Coincidence: Some Notes on ‘Psychic’ Predictions” (August 31, 2000). Novella has effectively and succinctly explained the problem people have with coincidences when he writes: “There are many simple reasons why most people misinterpret coincidences:
* Humans have a poor innate grasp of probability.
* We believe that all effects must have deliberate causes.
* We do not understand the laws regarding truly large numbers.
* We easily succumb to selective validation—the tendency to remember only positive correlations and forget the far more numerous misses.”
At Listverse “Top 15 Amazing Coincidences” (November 12, 2007) — taken from Ripley’s Believe it or not, BBC, and the New Scientist — the sensational coincidence reads like this: “In 1975, while riding a moped in Bermuda, a man was accidentally struck and killed by a taxi. One year later, this man’s bother was killed in the very same way. In fact, he was riding the very same moped. And to stretch the odds even further, he was struck by the very same taxi driven by the same driver – and even carrying the very same passenger!” The sensational coincidences discussed are remarkable.
Robert Novella, cited above, concludes his essay in this way: “. . . the vast majority [of coincidences] that we experience turn out to be much more probable than they appear, if analyzed critically. When this is taken into account, along with our propensity for selective validation, our desire to believe in something akin to fate, and our coincidence-detection hardwiring, the true deceptive power of coincidence is realized.” Emma Bull said, “Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
- - - - - - - -
At About.com: Paranormal Phenomena Stephen Wagner’s essay, “Amazing Coincidences,” explains at least ten sensational coincidences.
“Much religious faith is based on the idea that almost nothing is coincidence; science is an exercise in eliminating the taint of coincidence.” This is just one short sentence pulled out of context in an essay by Lisa Belkin, “The Odds of That” (August 11, 2002), at the New York Times website.
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Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
“Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."
([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
“While American novelist Anne Parrish was browsing bookstores in Paris in the 1920s, she came upon a book that was one of her childhood favorites - Jack Frost and Other Stories. She picked up the old book and showed it to her husband, telling him of the book she fondly remembered as a child. Her husband took the book, opened it, and on the flyleaf found the inscription: "Anne Parrish, 209 N. Weber Street, Colorado Springs." It was Anne's very own book. (Source: While Rome Burns, Alexander Wollcott)” ([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
David G. Myers, Professor of Psychology, Hope College, begins his essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” with this paragraph: “People around me have been both amused and aghast at the news that on 9-11 the New York State Lottery's evening number game popped up the numbers 9-1-1. Is this a paranormal happening? A wink from God? Is there a message here?”
A coincidence is simply the appearance of a meaningful connection when there is none.
When you watch a quarterback who is “in the flow,” and just makes all his passes, or, when Michael Jordan hit nearly every three-point shot he attempted, and then running down the floor shrugging his shoulders and turning his palms up as if to say, “I can’t believe it either!” you are a witness to coincidence. The quarterback and Michael Jordan had the hot hands. When you see stock-market patterns, batting slumps, people driving down a busy main street and hitting every stoplight green, our pattern-seeking minds demand explanations. The goal of our minds is to connect anomalies in some meaningful way. You know as well as I do, that it is very difficult to accept the idea that something happened, and it doesn’t mean anything at all.
“One thing is certain about coincidence,” writes Jill Neimark, in an essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” at the Psychology Today: Personality web site, “the phenomenon fascinates believers and skeptics alike. It's a porthole into one of the most interesting philosophical questions we can ask: Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective? Is there a deeper order, an overarching purpose to the universe? Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it?”
“Some people find it surprising,” Robert T. Carroll writes on the Skeptic’s Dictionary web site, in an essay, “Law of truly large numbers (coincidence),” “that there are more than 16 million others on the planet who share their birthday. At a typical football game with 50,000 fans, most fans are likely to share their birthday with about 135 others in attendance. (The notable exception will be those born on February 29. There will only be about 34 fans born on that day.)”
At this web site, the Skeptic’s Dictionary, Carroll writes about Uri Geller’s explanation of the coincidences that occurred as a result of the anti-terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. “[Geller] asked everyone to pray for eleven seconds for those in need,” writes Carroll, “Why? He was convinced that there was a cryptic, numerological message in the events that occurred that day.”
Carroll provides a great conclusion to his essay that should alert everyone to be cautious in finding meaningfulness in patterns: “If we start hunting for items that seem relevant but don't fit the pattern, we will soon see that there is nothing special about Geller's list or the number 11. Only by focusing on anything that we can fit to our belief and ignoring everything that doesn't fit (confirmation bias) can we make these coincidences seem meaningful.”
At the web site Quackwatch [I love the name of this web site!], Robert Novella has an essay titled, “The Power of Coincidence: Some Notes on ‘Psychic’ Predictions” (August 31, 2000). Novella has effectively and succinctly explained the problem people have with coincidences when he writes: “There are many simple reasons why most people misinterpret coincidences:
* Humans have a poor innate grasp of probability.
* We believe that all effects must have deliberate causes.
* We do not understand the laws regarding truly large numbers.
* We easily succumb to selective validation—the tendency to remember only positive correlations and forget the far more numerous misses.”
At Listverse “Top 15 Amazing Coincidences” (November 12, 2007) — taken from Ripley’s Believe it or not, BBC, and the New Scientist — the sensational coincidence reads like this: “In 1975, while riding a moped in Bermuda, a man was accidentally struck and killed by a taxi. One year later, this man’s bother was killed in the very same way. In fact, he was riding the very same moped. And to stretch the odds even further, he was struck by the very same taxi driven by the same driver – and even carrying the very same passenger!” The sensational coincidences discussed are remarkable.
Robert Novella, cited above, concludes his essay in this way: “. . . the vast majority [of coincidences] that we experience turn out to be much more probable than they appear, if analyzed critically. When this is taken into account, along with our propensity for selective validation, our desire to believe in something akin to fate, and our coincidence-detection hardwiring, the true deceptive power of coincidence is realized.” Emma Bull said, “Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
- - - - - - - -
At About.com: Paranormal Phenomena Stephen Wagner’s essay, “Amazing Coincidences,” explains at least ten sensational coincidences.
“Much religious faith is based on the idea that almost nothing is coincidence; science is an exercise in eliminating the taint of coincidence.” This is just one short sentence pulled out of context in an essay by Lisa Belkin, “The Odds of That” (August 11, 2002), at the New York Times website.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The power lies within you
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
The internal locus of control concept is so important and can have such a powerful influence on people’s lives, that I spent one entire lecture in my basic speech-communication class discussing it. I would give students a “test” in lecture without them having a clue about what its subject or nature was, I would “grade” it for them orally (again, without them having any idea of what it was all about), I would ask for a show of hands only (and without the results of the “test” having been interpreted — in other words, only with their “test” numbers in hand) I would ask them how they performed, and, finally, with their results in front of them, I would interpret their results for them. Never did they have to reveal their results once the interpretation of their results was provided.
I always received positive responses to this exercise, and often, on the open-ended responses to the lectures at the end of the term, this lecture was mentioned as one students not just appreciated but enjoyed as well. (I think the “enjoyment” factor was due, in part, to the fact that students did not have to take notes nor were responsible for remembering a great deal of content!)
The important question, however, is why is this concept so important in a basic speech-communication class that I would spend a full lecture covering it? Good question. The concept was developed by Julian Rotter in the 1950s. (Rotter, J. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcements. Psychological Monographs, 80, Whole No. 609. Retrieved January 25, 2001.) “Locus of Control refers to an individual's perception about the underlying main causes of events in his/her life. Or, more simply: Do you believe that your destiny is controlled by yourself or by external forces (such as fate, god, or powerful others)?”
Psychological research has found that people with a stronger internal locus of control are better off. What I was trying to show in my lectures was simply that adopting and using an internal-locus-of-control-perspective could have immediate and demonstrable results in revealing their (students’) competence and self-efficacy, as well as their ability to make use of opportunity (their willingness to take advantage of the opportunity provided in class for giving public speeches). By doing so, students would be able to successfully experience a sense of personal control and responsibility. This perspective of mine fit into an overall point of view that embraced getting students to take charge of their lives!
I was reminded of all of this when I was reading a book, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (Crown Business, 2010), by Shawn Achor. Achor writes, “Research has shown that people who believe that the power lies within their circle have higher academic achievement, greater career achievement, and are much happier at work. [The footnote for these findings is 1/3rd of a page long and includes 7 different sources.] An internal locus lowers job stress and turnover, and leads to higher motivation, organizational commitment, and task performance. ‘Internals,’ as they are sometimes called, have even stronger relationships—which makes sense given that studies show how much better they are at communicating, problem-solving, and working to achieve mutual goals. They are also more attentive listeners and more adept at social interactions—all qualities, incidentally, that predict success at work as well as at home” (pp. 131-132).
In the very next paragraph Achor says that believing that you are in control over your job and your life also reduces stress and improves physical health. (p. 132)
From Achor’s comments, you can easily see why it is worthwhile to, at the very least, point all of this out to students. The fact is, research has shown that people can choose; they have control over which one they believe in, and if they have learned one response pattern over another, they can unlearn it and switch.
The key that I taught my undergraduate students was choice. The important thing they needed to realize was simply that it was up to them. Thus, with the information I gave them — including the long-range benefits of possessing internal locus of control — they could still do something about it. Although their decision was likely a result of previous learning, all they needed was some new information to help them change.
How does changing to an internal locus of control relate to speech communication? Actually, the link is much closer and much tighter than one might at first imagine. The basic speech-communication course first examines intrapersonal communication — the talk that goes on within us.
One of the problems with an external locus of control occurs when people say to themselves, “I have no choice,” “I have no control,” or “There’s nothing I can do.” To make the switch to an internal locus of control requires that those using such excuses (making such comments) step back and remind themselves that they do have control; it is their choice. They can exercise their control if they choose to do so.
Another way to make the switch from external to internal is by developing effective decision-making and problem-solving skills. When people set clear, achievable goals, work toward and achieve them, they control what happens in their lives. As they do this, too, they'll find that their self-confidence builds, and they become more persistent and determined — all signs of internal locus of control.
With the achievement of goals and increased confidence — that you can control what happens in your life — decision-making and problem-solving skills improve dramatically. You discover that you not only can better understand situations that impinge on your life, but you can navigate through them successfully.
How much people believe they have control over their lives makes a significant difference now and for their future. There are a number of sources online where tests can be taken to determine internal versus external belief systems. The biggest discovery — and the point of this essay — is that it all depends on choice. And moving from an external to an internal belief system can be accomplished. Sure, it takes patience and perseverance, but what in life that is worth achieving does not require time and effort?
- - - - - - - -
At this web site, under the heading, “Locus of Control,” you get a fairly complete discussion of Rotter’s 1954 discovery: his observations as well as the core of his approach.
At the web site Shine from Yahoo, there is a wonderful, thorough, and interesting essay by CBT, “Developing an Internal Locus of Control - a key to better health,” (June 19, 2011), which ends saying: “Developing an Internal Locus of Control is just one of four important life skills I believe we should be teaching people of all ages, especially our young people while we have them in schools and families. Acquiring these skills is what I call having Mental and Emotional Fitness.”
- - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
The internal locus of control concept is so important and can have such a powerful influence on people’s lives, that I spent one entire lecture in my basic speech-communication class discussing it. I would give students a “test” in lecture without them having a clue about what its subject or nature was, I would “grade” it for them orally (again, without them having any idea of what it was all about), I would ask for a show of hands only (and without the results of the “test” having been interpreted — in other words, only with their “test” numbers in hand) I would ask them how they performed, and, finally, with their results in front of them, I would interpret their results for them. Never did they have to reveal their results once the interpretation of their results was provided.
I always received positive responses to this exercise, and often, on the open-ended responses to the lectures at the end of the term, this lecture was mentioned as one students not just appreciated but enjoyed as well. (I think the “enjoyment” factor was due, in part, to the fact that students did not have to take notes nor were responsible for remembering a great deal of content!)
The important question, however, is why is this concept so important in a basic speech-communication class that I would spend a full lecture covering it? Good question. The concept was developed by Julian Rotter in the 1950s. (Rotter, J. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcements. Psychological Monographs, 80, Whole No. 609. Retrieved January 25, 2001.) “Locus of Control refers to an individual's perception about the underlying main causes of events in his/her life. Or, more simply: Do you believe that your destiny is controlled by yourself or by external forces (such as fate, god, or powerful others)?”
Psychological research has found that people with a stronger internal locus of control are better off. What I was trying to show in my lectures was simply that adopting and using an internal-locus-of-control-perspective could have immediate and demonstrable results in revealing their (students’) competence and self-efficacy, as well as their ability to make use of opportunity (their willingness to take advantage of the opportunity provided in class for giving public speeches). By doing so, students would be able to successfully experience a sense of personal control and responsibility. This perspective of mine fit into an overall point of view that embraced getting students to take charge of their lives!
I was reminded of all of this when I was reading a book, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (Crown Business, 2010), by Shawn Achor. Achor writes, “Research has shown that people who believe that the power lies within their circle have higher academic achievement, greater career achievement, and are much happier at work. [The footnote for these findings is 1/3rd of a page long and includes 7 different sources.] An internal locus lowers job stress and turnover, and leads to higher motivation, organizational commitment, and task performance. ‘Internals,’ as they are sometimes called, have even stronger relationships—which makes sense given that studies show how much better they are at communicating, problem-solving, and working to achieve mutual goals. They are also more attentive listeners and more adept at social interactions—all qualities, incidentally, that predict success at work as well as at home” (pp. 131-132).
In the very next paragraph Achor says that believing that you are in control over your job and your life also reduces stress and improves physical health. (p. 132)
From Achor’s comments, you can easily see why it is worthwhile to, at the very least, point all of this out to students. The fact is, research has shown that people can choose; they have control over which one they believe in, and if they have learned one response pattern over another, they can unlearn it and switch.
The key that I taught my undergraduate students was choice. The important thing they needed to realize was simply that it was up to them. Thus, with the information I gave them — including the long-range benefits of possessing internal locus of control — they could still do something about it. Although their decision was likely a result of previous learning, all they needed was some new information to help them change.
How does changing to an internal locus of control relate to speech communication? Actually, the link is much closer and much tighter than one might at first imagine. The basic speech-communication course first examines intrapersonal communication — the talk that goes on within us.
One of the problems with an external locus of control occurs when people say to themselves, “I have no choice,” “I have no control,” or “There’s nothing I can do.” To make the switch to an internal locus of control requires that those using such excuses (making such comments) step back and remind themselves that they do have control; it is their choice. They can exercise their control if they choose to do so.
Another way to make the switch from external to internal is by developing effective decision-making and problem-solving skills. When people set clear, achievable goals, work toward and achieve them, they control what happens in their lives. As they do this, too, they'll find that their self-confidence builds, and they become more persistent and determined — all signs of internal locus of control.
With the achievement of goals and increased confidence — that you can control what happens in your life — decision-making and problem-solving skills improve dramatically. You discover that you not only can better understand situations that impinge on your life, but you can navigate through them successfully.
How much people believe they have control over their lives makes a significant difference now and for their future. There are a number of sources online where tests can be taken to determine internal versus external belief systems. The biggest discovery — and the point of this essay — is that it all depends on choice. And moving from an external to an internal belief system can be accomplished. Sure, it takes patience and perseverance, but what in life that is worth achieving does not require time and effort?
- - - - - - - -
At this web site, under the heading, “Locus of Control,” you get a fairly complete discussion of Rotter’s 1954 discovery: his observations as well as the core of his approach.
At the web site Shine from Yahoo, there is a wonderful, thorough, and interesting essay by CBT, “Developing an Internal Locus of Control - a key to better health,” (June 19, 2011), which ends saying: “Developing an Internal Locus of Control is just one of four important life skills I believe we should be teaching people of all ages, especially our young people while we have them in schools and families. Acquiring these skills is what I call having Mental and Emotional Fitness.”
- - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
When I get up in the morning
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
Often I can predict what kind of a day I’m going to have by the way I get up in the morning. I’m not always accurate, but I use my “getting up” as an indicator. When I showed one of my granddaughters my daily log, she asked me why I begin each day with the time I get up? What she was really asking was, What difference does that make? I explained that the time I get up each morning is just one of the indicators I use for what kind of a day I’m likely to have. When my log indicates that I woke up just before the alarm clock, that is a signal to me that I’m likely to have a very productive day. (Remember what I said above, “I’m not always accurate.”)
When I allow the alarm clock to get me out of bed, I feel I’m a victim. That is, I’m being controlled, regimented, restricted, or managed by forces outside of myself. When there is an external locus of control (like the alarm clock), I feel I’m at the mercy of forces over which I have little (or less) influence.
You have to understand something here that helps make sense of this. I seldom have an unproductive day no matter whether I awake before or with the alarm clock. What I have described thus far has more to do with an attitude or a way of framing my day — as I begin it. My behavior and actions throughout the day are likely to, and often do, take shape in many different ways that have no bearing whatever (or some bearing, but minimal) on the way I get up.
Something that has often intrigued me is that on the days when I get up early to exercise (3:00 a.m.), then take a 2-hour nap after exercising, showering, and having breakfast, to make up for the lost time, I often find that I engage in far more physical exercise (in addition to my morning exercise routine) than on the days when I do not get up early to exercise.
I need about six-and-one-half to seven hours of sleep each night. I can do with less, but too much less will make me feel groggy during the day, and sometimes during the late afternoon, I may even fall asleep briefly as I sit in the chair at my computer or at my desk. Since I hate that feeling of grogginess, I try to get my full quota of sleep every night.
On all of the days during the week when I do not exercise (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday), I set my alarm for 6:00 a.m., and when the alarm goes off, I get up immediately. I know the saying, “If people were made to pop out of bed, they’d all sleep in toasters,” but I am a creature of habit, and I have found that my sleep habits have some effect on my daily work habits. Besides, I feel comfortable in my toaster! Since I am always trying to cram more work into my days than hours allow, I try desperately not to do anything that negatively affects my work.
There are a number of things I do (part of my daily routine) to minimize any negative effects on my sleep. The first major thing I do is avoid having coffee after 3:00 p.m. Now, occasionally when I’m away from home, I may have to extend that to 4:00 p.m.; however, I know that I will disturb my sleep in doing so. I drink just about a cup-and-a-half for breakfast and, for lunch, I have coffee in a large mug poured over ice with a lot of skim milk added. I try to have my lunch from 1:00-2:00 during which time I always have something to read.
Between 9:00 and 10:00 at night, I have my single beer along with fresh pop corn or pretzels. I have found this has no significant effect on my sleep. (I do not drink red wine, and I eat little chocolate; however, I know that coffee, red wine, and chocolate — especially when taken before bedtime — can disturb your sleep.)
Another thing that has a major effect on my sleep is the mood I’m in when I go to bed. Having a happy marriage and having few disagreements or arguments helps. I have found that I sleep best when I’ve had a period of calm and relaxation just before retiring. I try to avoid intense work (thinking!) at the computer, writing an essay or book review, or even reading a book from 9:00 p.m. until bedtime. These efforts so engage my mind that I find it difficult to calm it down before going to bed, and when I go to bed, my mind is still racing, and sleep escapes me.
My wife and I eat dinner around 5:30 p.m.; in this way, dinner in no way affects my sleep.
Another thing that, for me, promotes sleep, is a cool room. Even during the coldest nights during the winter, I sleep with the bedroom window slightly cracked. In that way, I can sleep with a number of blankets over me. For some wonderful reason, the weight of the blankets and comforter provide a great deal of coziness and contentment. With the window slightly cracked, too, it allows the carbon dioxide I exhale to escape the room.
There are other things over which I have control, too, that promote sleep. For example, I keep a consistent schedule. I go to bed and wake up at the same time. We live in a quiet neighborhood; thus, there is no noise (and I mean no noise) at night. I drink a glass of water when I take my calcium, niacin, multivitamin, and fish-oil pills in the morning. This kick-starts my metabolism and causes me to wake up and be more alert. I exercise only in the early morning, and I have discovered on a regular basis, that exercising actually gives me more energy on the day after I exercise; however, the health benefits I receive from regular exercise are noticeable, appreciated, accepted, and certainly worthwhile. (I have been exercising regularly for over 30 years.)
There are several things I do when I get up in the morning that directly contribute to the way I feel throughout the day. After taking my pills and shaving, I take a short, hot shower. I have the same thing for breakfast everyday: Cheerios, oat bran blended with Mixed Gerber Baby Cereal and half a banana, orange juice, and coffee. While eating breakfast, I read two daily newspapers thoroughly.
When I wake up in the morning, I am always grateful for the day I have ahead of me. I never (and have never) seen any day as a burden that I just have to “get through.” I see each day as an opportunity to do something meaningful, beneficial, and satisfying. What is important, especially for the purposes of this essay, is that what I do during the day has a direct and immediate effect on what happens every night and what it will be like when I get up in the morning. I love the quotation attributed to J.M. Powers, “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”
- - - - - - -
Michael Harrison has a great essay, “10 Geeky Tricks for Getting Out of Bed in the Morning,” (February 25, 2009), at Wired: GeekDad, and what I like about this essay is what Harrison writes in his opening paragraph: “A little confession: I am not a morning person. In fact, I hate getting up before 9 a.m., and I’d probably sleep until 10 a.m. if I could.” The ten tips he offers are worth reading.
At Sleepnet.com, the essay there, “How to wake up with ENERGY in the morning” (June 21, 2002), by Jim Smith is full of interesting and useful advice.
At The Body Ecology Diet web site, the essay by Donna Gates, “How to Wake Up in the Morning: 5 Key Steps to a Healthy Morning Ritual,” is another one that is packed full of worthwhile information and advice. When you Google, how to wake up in the morning, there are millions of available web sites and a plethora of advice.
- - - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
Often I can predict what kind of a day I’m going to have by the way I get up in the morning. I’m not always accurate, but I use my “getting up” as an indicator. When I showed one of my granddaughters my daily log, she asked me why I begin each day with the time I get up? What she was really asking was, What difference does that make? I explained that the time I get up each morning is just one of the indicators I use for what kind of a day I’m likely to have. When my log indicates that I woke up just before the alarm clock, that is a signal to me that I’m likely to have a very productive day. (Remember what I said above, “I’m not always accurate.”)
When I allow the alarm clock to get me out of bed, I feel I’m a victim. That is, I’m being controlled, regimented, restricted, or managed by forces outside of myself. When there is an external locus of control (like the alarm clock), I feel I’m at the mercy of forces over which I have little (or less) influence.
You have to understand something here that helps make sense of this. I seldom have an unproductive day no matter whether I awake before or with the alarm clock. What I have described thus far has more to do with an attitude or a way of framing my day — as I begin it. My behavior and actions throughout the day are likely to, and often do, take shape in many different ways that have no bearing whatever (or some bearing, but minimal) on the way I get up.
Something that has often intrigued me is that on the days when I get up early to exercise (3:00 a.m.), then take a 2-hour nap after exercising, showering, and having breakfast, to make up for the lost time, I often find that I engage in far more physical exercise (in addition to my morning exercise routine) than on the days when I do not get up early to exercise.
I need about six-and-one-half to seven hours of sleep each night. I can do with less, but too much less will make me feel groggy during the day, and sometimes during the late afternoon, I may even fall asleep briefly as I sit in the chair at my computer or at my desk. Since I hate that feeling of grogginess, I try to get my full quota of sleep every night.
On all of the days during the week when I do not exercise (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday), I set my alarm for 6:00 a.m., and when the alarm goes off, I get up immediately. I know the saying, “If people were made to pop out of bed, they’d all sleep in toasters,” but I am a creature of habit, and I have found that my sleep habits have some effect on my daily work habits. Besides, I feel comfortable in my toaster! Since I am always trying to cram more work into my days than hours allow, I try desperately not to do anything that negatively affects my work.
There are a number of things I do (part of my daily routine) to minimize any negative effects on my sleep. The first major thing I do is avoid having coffee after 3:00 p.m. Now, occasionally when I’m away from home, I may have to extend that to 4:00 p.m.; however, I know that I will disturb my sleep in doing so. I drink just about a cup-and-a-half for breakfast and, for lunch, I have coffee in a large mug poured over ice with a lot of skim milk added. I try to have my lunch from 1:00-2:00 during which time I always have something to read.
Between 9:00 and 10:00 at night, I have my single beer along with fresh pop corn or pretzels. I have found this has no significant effect on my sleep. (I do not drink red wine, and I eat little chocolate; however, I know that coffee, red wine, and chocolate — especially when taken before bedtime — can disturb your sleep.)
Another thing that has a major effect on my sleep is the mood I’m in when I go to bed. Having a happy marriage and having few disagreements or arguments helps. I have found that I sleep best when I’ve had a period of calm and relaxation just before retiring. I try to avoid intense work (thinking!) at the computer, writing an essay or book review, or even reading a book from 9:00 p.m. until bedtime. These efforts so engage my mind that I find it difficult to calm it down before going to bed, and when I go to bed, my mind is still racing, and sleep escapes me.
My wife and I eat dinner around 5:30 p.m.; in this way, dinner in no way affects my sleep.
Another thing that, for me, promotes sleep, is a cool room. Even during the coldest nights during the winter, I sleep with the bedroom window slightly cracked. In that way, I can sleep with a number of blankets over me. For some wonderful reason, the weight of the blankets and comforter provide a great deal of coziness and contentment. With the window slightly cracked, too, it allows the carbon dioxide I exhale to escape the room.
There are other things over which I have control, too, that promote sleep. For example, I keep a consistent schedule. I go to bed and wake up at the same time. We live in a quiet neighborhood; thus, there is no noise (and I mean no noise) at night. I drink a glass of water when I take my calcium, niacin, multivitamin, and fish-oil pills in the morning. This kick-starts my metabolism and causes me to wake up and be more alert. I exercise only in the early morning, and I have discovered on a regular basis, that exercising actually gives me more energy on the day after I exercise; however, the health benefits I receive from regular exercise are noticeable, appreciated, accepted, and certainly worthwhile. (I have been exercising regularly for over 30 years.)
There are several things I do when I get up in the morning that directly contribute to the way I feel throughout the day. After taking my pills and shaving, I take a short, hot shower. I have the same thing for breakfast everyday: Cheerios, oat bran blended with Mixed Gerber Baby Cereal and half a banana, orange juice, and coffee. While eating breakfast, I read two daily newspapers thoroughly.
When I wake up in the morning, I am always grateful for the day I have ahead of me. I never (and have never) seen any day as a burden that I just have to “get through.” I see each day as an opportunity to do something meaningful, beneficial, and satisfying. What is important, especially for the purposes of this essay, is that what I do during the day has a direct and immediate effect on what happens every night and what it will be like when I get up in the morning. I love the quotation attributed to J.M. Powers, “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”
- - - - - - -
Michael Harrison has a great essay, “10 Geeky Tricks for Getting Out of Bed in the Morning,” (February 25, 2009), at Wired: GeekDad, and what I like about this essay is what Harrison writes in his opening paragraph: “A little confession: I am not a morning person. In fact, I hate getting up before 9 a.m., and I’d probably sleep until 10 a.m. if I could.” The ten tips he offers are worth reading.
At Sleepnet.com, the essay there, “How to wake up with ENERGY in the morning” (June 21, 2002), by Jim Smith is full of interesting and useful advice.
At The Body Ecology Diet web site, the essay by Donna Gates, “How to Wake Up in the Morning: 5 Key Steps to a Healthy Morning Ritual,” is another one that is packed full of worthwhile information and advice. When you Google, how to wake up in the morning, there are millions of available web sites and a plethora of advice.
- - - - - - - - -
Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Why I wouldn't want to live on a Caribbean island
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
When we went to “Super J’s” grocery store for milk on Friday — they received no shipment on Monday and said their next one was due on Friday — they were already out, if they received a shipment at all. We had to purchase half-gallons of Lactose-free milk at $15.99 EC$ (more than $5.00 U.S. ) each, but we were totally dependent on island deliveries, and for most of the week (all except the first 2-3 days), we could not have our regular skim milk.
That isolation and dependency would be difficult to tolerate for very long. It reminded me of Skagway, Alaska, where residents are totally dependent on the grocery deliveries by container ships, and in Skagway, residents can only purchase what comes in those containers.
There are numerous reasons for not wanting to live in this environment, and the above example is a minor one to be sure.
We lived in Hawaii for a year, and our feelings at that time were similar to those now. First, w enjoy the change in seasons. We have never disliked snow; however, the kind of weather conditions going on right now back home (we skyped our son and daughter last night) — cold, rain, snow, sleet, and ice — almost makes me want to reconsider this thought!
A second reason I wouldn’t want to live on a Caribbean island is also weather-related, too. We don’t like being hot (sweaty hot) and wet all the time. (I’m writing this essay at 8:00 a.m. on our last day on St. Lucia (Saturday), on the bed in our air-conditioned bedroom on the ground floor of our rather luxurious (well equipped) rental house — three stories overlooking the town of Rodney Bay, the whole Bay area, and the Rodney Bay Marina.
(Our landlord, Greg Skinner, who has been ushering us all over the island, goes around in an open, faded, short-sleeve shirt and Bermuda shorts all the time — but he is always perspiring.)
There is another reason for not wanting to live on a Caribbean island, and this has to do with a factor we found in Hawaii as well. Really, it’s no different than living in the south in the United States — but I don’t like it and find it hard to tolerate. Last night, for example, I killed 2 mosquitoes in our bedroom. I’ve killed many flies, crushed 2 cockroaches with my flip flops, and destroyed hundreds of ants.
Just an aside here. When my wife and I went to a nightclub in Waikiki (we lived in Kailua on the other side of the island for a year), we could see movement on a wall near where we were seated. When the lights came up after the performance, we noticed that the entire wall was covered with cockroaches! Covered!
I don’t mind insects during one short season (summer) of the year but to have them year round — and ants all over the floors and counters (just as in Hawaii) with everything having to be protected from them, is hard to tolerate every single day during every season. Give me a break! Give me winter!
We have been in local markets (on St. Lucia they are called Vendor’s Markets or Vendor’s Arcades) on many Caribbean islands (and around the world). They are interesting and full of local produce, crafts, and artifacts, and one trait found in every one of them is the necessity of bargaining for anything you want to purchase. Some people may bind this fun and think they have discovered real bargains, but I prefer set prices, less aggressiveness by the vendors, and cleaner venues.
One more aside here. When we were in Bangkok, Thailand, some vendors at their “knock-off mall” would actually grab your arm and try to pull you into their cubicle. We found more aggressiveness there than in many other locations worldwide.
When we visited a local market in Granada, once when we were on a cruise, my wife and I looked around to discover we were the only Caucasians there. Now, I want you to know this is not the least bit scary or risky for us, and we were never worried about being robbed or kidnapped. Often, my wife and I seek out places like this precisely because they are local, interesting, and do not (at least blatantly) cater to tourists.
In general, we have found malls that cater to tourists are fairly predictable. For example, today (our last day in St. Lucia), we went to three separate Vendor’s Malls in Castries (the capital). They were big, full of individual stalls, and each stall was staffed by a middle-aged, local woman. (Most men who staff the stalls seem to be elderly (retired).) These places tend to be dark, in need of more ventilation, and somewhat musty in their odor — fun to visit for a brief time.
In Castries, the three vendor’s malls are in the dock area near where up to 5 cruise ships can dock at one time. Think about this: Castries is a town of about 55,000. If 5 cruise ships were in port at the same time, it could add up to 15,000 people to the local population. These malls would be teeming masses of humanity! Fortunately for us, when we were there, no ships were docked in port.
There is no doubt that a few of the reasons why I would not want to live on a Caribbean island have to do with the life and lifestyle with which I have become accustomed — but this shouldn’t come as a shock. For example, I like strict sanitary, hygiene, and cleanliness standards. There is something to be said for government control, regulations, and laws. When businesses (or communities) are left to regulate themselves or set their own laws, everything erodes and degrades.
There are so many things I expect. For example, I expect to be able to drink the local water. In Beijing, China, just as in St. Lucia, you cannot. I want to eat vegetables grown on the ground. In certain places in the world you must be careful or you are likely to contract amoebic dysentery. For example, this is true in Pakistan. Also, I like to have choices in grocery stores; the smaller the population (as in Australia), the fewer choices you are likely to have.
I love traveling, and I love sampling other lives and lifestyles. I am a people-watcher, and while waiting for our ride in St. Lucia, at a number of different places, I watched how local people dressed and acted. When we traveled I observed how those in other cultures lived. This is a treat, to be sure. And, in many cases, I have observed that the lives of many in other cultures are simple and less complex than many in the United States. By contrast, I prefer our modern conveniences, technical “necessities,” and the complications and complexity we have. When it comes right down to it, I wouldn’t trade my life or lifestyle for any other in the world!
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At the website St. Thomas Traveler there is a very cute, short, delightful (tongue-in-cheek) essay, “Living on a Caribbean island is truly the stuff of dreams” (January 23, 2011). The writer, Lyssa Graham, says: “Living on a tropical Caribbean island is truly the stuff of dreams, provided, of course, that those dreams include nightmarish scenes filled with every kind of six-legged critter imaginable along with a healthy dose of reptiles, amphibians and people-eating plants thrown in just to round out the dreamscape.” She supports my arguments completely.
At 43things you will get a large number of personal reactions to or thoughts about living on an island. Even if you may not want to live on an island (anywhere in the world) the responses here are great to read. Some of them refer to Caribbean islands.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright April, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
When we went to “Super J’s” grocery store for milk on Friday — they received no shipment on Monday and said their next one was due on Friday — they were already out, if they received a shipment at all. We had to purchase half-gallons of Lactose-free milk at $15.99 EC$ (more than $5.00 U.S. ) each, but we were totally dependent on island deliveries, and for most of the week (all except the first 2-3 days), we could not have our regular skim milk.
That isolation and dependency would be difficult to tolerate for very long. It reminded me of Skagway, Alaska, where residents are totally dependent on the grocery deliveries by container ships, and in Skagway, residents can only purchase what comes in those containers.
There are numerous reasons for not wanting to live in this environment, and the above example is a minor one to be sure.
We lived in Hawaii for a year, and our feelings at that time were similar to those now. First, w enjoy the change in seasons. We have never disliked snow; however, the kind of weather conditions going on right now back home (we skyped our son and daughter last night) — cold, rain, snow, sleet, and ice — almost makes me want to reconsider this thought!
A second reason I wouldn’t want to live on a Caribbean island is also weather-related, too. We don’t like being hot (sweaty hot) and wet all the time. (I’m writing this essay at 8:00 a.m. on our last day on St. Lucia (Saturday), on the bed in our air-conditioned bedroom on the ground floor of our rather luxurious (well equipped) rental house — three stories overlooking the town of Rodney Bay, the whole Bay area, and the Rodney Bay Marina.
(Our landlord, Greg Skinner, who has been ushering us all over the island, goes around in an open, faded, short-sleeve shirt and Bermuda shorts all the time — but he is always perspiring.)
There is another reason for not wanting to live on a Caribbean island, and this has to do with a factor we found in Hawaii as well. Really, it’s no different than living in the south in the United States — but I don’t like it and find it hard to tolerate. Last night, for example, I killed 2 mosquitoes in our bedroom. I’ve killed many flies, crushed 2 cockroaches with my flip flops, and destroyed hundreds of ants.
Just an aside here. When my wife and I went to a nightclub in Waikiki (we lived in Kailua on the other side of the island for a year), we could see movement on a wall near where we were seated. When the lights came up after the performance, we noticed that the entire wall was covered with cockroaches! Covered!
I don’t mind insects during one short season (summer) of the year but to have them year round — and ants all over the floors and counters (just as in Hawaii) with everything having to be protected from them, is hard to tolerate every single day during every season. Give me a break! Give me winter!
We have been in local markets (on St. Lucia they are called Vendor’s Markets or Vendor’s Arcades) on many Caribbean islands (and around the world). They are interesting and full of local produce, crafts, and artifacts, and one trait found in every one of them is the necessity of bargaining for anything you want to purchase. Some people may bind this fun and think they have discovered real bargains, but I prefer set prices, less aggressiveness by the vendors, and cleaner venues.
One more aside here. When we were in Bangkok, Thailand, some vendors at their “knock-off mall” would actually grab your arm and try to pull you into their cubicle. We found more aggressiveness there than in many other locations worldwide.
When we visited a local market in Granada, once when we were on a cruise, my wife and I looked around to discover we were the only Caucasians there. Now, I want you to know this is not the least bit scary or risky for us, and we were never worried about being robbed or kidnapped. Often, my wife and I seek out places like this precisely because they are local, interesting, and do not (at least blatantly) cater to tourists.
In general, we have found malls that cater to tourists are fairly predictable. For example, today (our last day in St. Lucia), we went to three separate Vendor’s Malls in Castries (the capital). They were big, full of individual stalls, and each stall was staffed by a middle-aged, local woman. (Most men who staff the stalls seem to be elderly (retired).) These places tend to be dark, in need of more ventilation, and somewhat musty in their odor — fun to visit for a brief time.
In Castries, the three vendor’s malls are in the dock area near where up to 5 cruise ships can dock at one time. Think about this: Castries is a town of about 55,000. If 5 cruise ships were in port at the same time, it could add up to 15,000 people to the local population. These malls would be teeming masses of humanity! Fortunately for us, when we were there, no ships were docked in port.
There is no doubt that a few of the reasons why I would not want to live on a Caribbean island have to do with the life and lifestyle with which I have become accustomed — but this shouldn’t come as a shock. For example, I like strict sanitary, hygiene, and cleanliness standards. There is something to be said for government control, regulations, and laws. When businesses (or communities) are left to regulate themselves or set their own laws, everything erodes and degrades.
There are so many things I expect. For example, I expect to be able to drink the local water. In Beijing, China, just as in St. Lucia, you cannot. I want to eat vegetables grown on the ground. In certain places in the world you must be careful or you are likely to contract amoebic dysentery. For example, this is true in Pakistan. Also, I like to have choices in grocery stores; the smaller the population (as in Australia), the fewer choices you are likely to have.
I love traveling, and I love sampling other lives and lifestyles. I am a people-watcher, and while waiting for our ride in St. Lucia, at a number of different places, I watched how local people dressed and acted. When we traveled I observed how those in other cultures lived. This is a treat, to be sure. And, in many cases, I have observed that the lives of many in other cultures are simple and less complex than many in the United States. By contrast, I prefer our modern conveniences, technical “necessities,” and the complications and complexity we have. When it comes right down to it, I wouldn’t trade my life or lifestyle for any other in the world!
- - - - - - - -
At the website St. Thomas Traveler there is a very cute, short, delightful (tongue-in-cheek) essay, “Living on a Caribbean island is truly the stuff of dreams” (January 23, 2011). The writer, Lyssa Graham, says: “Living on a tropical Caribbean island is truly the stuff of dreams, provided, of course, that those dreams include nightmarish scenes filled with every kind of six-legged critter imaginable along with a healthy dose of reptiles, amphibians and people-eating plants thrown in just to round out the dreamscape.” She supports my arguments completely.
At 43things you will get a large number of personal reactions to or thoughts about living on an island. Even if you may not want to live on an island (anywhere in the world) the responses here are great to read. Some of them refer to Caribbean islands.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright April, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Planning to go to St. Lucia?
by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
There are several things I learned from a week in St. Lucia that may help others who are planning to go. It is a popular Caribbean destination, and St. Lucians are trying to make it known as a romantic getaway and the destination for honeymooners. In this essay I will address the kind of dress that is appropriate, the situation regarding food, and transportation.
Trying to plan, in advance, for all eventualities is difficult, to say the least. For this week’s trip to St. Lucia every member of our seven-member party decided to take carry-on baggage only: no checked luggage. What I took worked well for me. The “uniform” of preference on the island is a tee-shirt and bermuda shorts. I took two or three pairs of bermudas and a couple of extra shirts. For the purposes of traveling there and back, and also for the purpose of going to a restaurant while there, I took one pair of long pants and 3 collared, knit shirts. I used them all.
The preferred type of shoe, of course, is flip flops. But, if you’re going to do a great deal of walking or hiking, a pair of gym or tennis shoes works well. I took one pair of each plus some low-rise white socks for the shoes (to absorb sweat).
There is no need for a jacket, sweater, or sweatshirt unless, of course, you will be spending time in air conditioning. Many homes have air conditioned bedrooms only because electricity is so expensive. Even the ventilating breezes that blow in the evening are warm — not cool or chilling in any way.
A swimsuit is mandatory as is sun screen. (I used sun screen with an SPF of 50.) If you are traveling during the insect season (we were not), you will need insect repellant or insect wipes. Wipes are especially effective if you will be walking on the sand beaches during the summer to protect yourself from the sand fleas. (Purchase inexpensive sun screen at Walmart, and squeeze it into a 3-ounce plastic container. That can last you for a week of moderate use.)
A backpack will help you when you go shopping in the markets, for going to the beach, and for carrying extra water bottles. We put our water bottles in the refrigerator freezer overnight and found the cold water delightful the next day. The hot, humid temperatures do not allow it to stay frozen for too long.
In addition to dress, there is a concern about food. We stayed in a house and had to purchase all our food (except the two times during the week when we ate out) at the local grocery store. Food on St. Lucia is very expensive. We had to plan for dinners for seven. For breakfasts we had Cheerios along with orange juice, toast, and a banana. For lunches we had peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches along with cut-up carrots and an apple. We bought a large bag of 16 pieces of chicken. They were legs connected with thighs, and they served our purposes well.
We cooked 8 pieces that we sliced for sandwiches we had on one of our island tours.
We covered one set of 8 pieces with bread crumbs, cooked them in the oven, and had them with mashed potatoes (from the box), gravy from a can, and two cans of green beans. It proved to be a great and tasty dinner everyone enjoyed.
For our last big meal on the island we had leftovers, and there was enough chicken left over for everyone to have a piece.
(For one evening meal we had macaroni and cheese along with hot dogs, for another we had spaghetti, and for yet another we had frozen Tombstone pizzas. Along with two meals out, and one of leftovers, that covered the evening meals we had while on St. Lucia.)
Staples such as milk (although we had to buy Lactose-free because regular skim milk was out because deliveries were not made to the grocery store), bread, yogurt, and bananas were all available — although expensive.
Moving from dress and food to transportation, I want to discuss the problem. First, there is no public transportation. All transportation is private. There are private vans moving between all the towns on the island, and the rates are controlled — and cheap. Vans, for example, moving between Castries and Rodney Bay (a 20-30-minute trip depending on the traffic) carried passengers (about 10-14 per van) for about $2.00 EC$ or less than $1.00 U.S.
We had to make a decision about whether or not to rent a car. The owner of our rental home said he would take care of transportation for us, and, in retrospect, he did. But that made us totally dependent on him. Also, to get us to and from the airport, and for our tour of the island, he charged us — and he wasn’t inexpensive! It took us two vehicles to get to and from the airport and cost us $80.00 U.S. each. To tour the island it was $80.00 per adult; there were three of us.
Perhaps we could have rented a car and saved money; however, it is unlikely that renting a car would have worked out well, and there are at least six reasons for this. First, driving on the left (as the British do) makes it somewhat difficult at the outset. It isn’t that U.S. drivers cannot or should not drive on the left, but our normal instincts and natural reflexes are the opposite; thus, in trying or stressful traffic situations, we are likely to respond in the opposite way we should.
The second reason that renting a car would not have worked out well is that there are no road signs nor speed limits. Ali Breen, our designated taxi driver, told us that the hilly, twisty, narrow roads of St. Lucia impose their own limits regarding speed. Third, it is difficult to find your way around. Main roads may go through the two large cities (Castries and Soufriere), but they do not flow in a straight line by any means, and with no highway numbers, without a local map, which would, perhaps, make things easier, it can be a maze that is best pursued through trial and error!
There are three other reasons. The fourth is that local drivers tend to be fast and aggressive. The deference and respect shown to other local drivers is negotiated and follows local customs — which foreign drivers don’t know. Fifth, roads are narrow, twisty, with lots of hills. Cars pass on hills and curves with abandon — and high risk. It’s a wonder there aren’t more accidents, and Greg, who drove us around most of the time, said there are a lot! The sixth reason, and the best one, is that I’m not sure I’d even like to do it. There are far too many arguments against it! (One argument I did not use was the cost. It is not just expensive to rent a car or van, but the gas is expensive, too.)
Dress, food, and transportation are some of the factors that need to be considered if you are planning to go to St. Lucia. We went to accompany our older daughter and her 3 kids, and it was a great choice (very expensive to get there, to rent a house, and to buy food), but we saw the island, experienced the culture, enjoyed the cuisine, swam in the water, and would want to experience another place for another time.
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The website VirtualTourist has a page called “St. Lucia Favorites” that gives numerous hints about what to see and do (and how to prepare) by people who have been there.
Visit St. Lucia: Traveler’s Essentials has a brief essay entitled “Safety in St. Lucia that is a must read for anyone planning to go there.
The website St. Lucia Guide.info discusses the seasons, when it is best to visit, and in “Time’s On Your Side,” also offers information on the events and festivals. There is, for example, a two-week jazz festival in May of each year that is popular and well attended.
- - - - - - - -
Copyright April, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
There are several things I learned from a week in St. Lucia that may help others who are planning to go. It is a popular Caribbean destination, and St. Lucians are trying to make it known as a romantic getaway and the destination for honeymooners. In this essay I will address the kind of dress that is appropriate, the situation regarding food, and transportation.
Trying to plan, in advance, for all eventualities is difficult, to say the least. For this week’s trip to St. Lucia every member of our seven-member party decided to take carry-on baggage only: no checked luggage. What I took worked well for me. The “uniform” of preference on the island is a tee-shirt and bermuda shorts. I took two or three pairs of bermudas and a couple of extra shirts. For the purposes of traveling there and back, and also for the purpose of going to a restaurant while there, I took one pair of long pants and 3 collared, knit shirts. I used them all.
The preferred type of shoe, of course, is flip flops. But, if you’re going to do a great deal of walking or hiking, a pair of gym or tennis shoes works well. I took one pair of each plus some low-rise white socks for the shoes (to absorb sweat).
There is no need for a jacket, sweater, or sweatshirt unless, of course, you will be spending time in air conditioning. Many homes have air conditioned bedrooms only because electricity is so expensive. Even the ventilating breezes that blow in the evening are warm — not cool or chilling in any way.
A swimsuit is mandatory as is sun screen. (I used sun screen with an SPF of 50.) If you are traveling during the insect season (we were not), you will need insect repellant or insect wipes. Wipes are especially effective if you will be walking on the sand beaches during the summer to protect yourself from the sand fleas. (Purchase inexpensive sun screen at Walmart, and squeeze it into a 3-ounce plastic container. That can last you for a week of moderate use.)
A backpack will help you when you go shopping in the markets, for going to the beach, and for carrying extra water bottles. We put our water bottles in the refrigerator freezer overnight and found the cold water delightful the next day. The hot, humid temperatures do not allow it to stay frozen for too long.
In addition to dress, there is a concern about food. We stayed in a house and had to purchase all our food (except the two times during the week when we ate out) at the local grocery store. Food on St. Lucia is very expensive. We had to plan for dinners for seven. For breakfasts we had Cheerios along with orange juice, toast, and a banana. For lunches we had peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches along with cut-up carrots and an apple. We bought a large bag of 16 pieces of chicken. They were legs connected with thighs, and they served our purposes well.
We cooked 8 pieces that we sliced for sandwiches we had on one of our island tours.
We covered one set of 8 pieces with bread crumbs, cooked them in the oven, and had them with mashed potatoes (from the box), gravy from a can, and two cans of green beans. It proved to be a great and tasty dinner everyone enjoyed.
For our last big meal on the island we had leftovers, and there was enough chicken left over for everyone to have a piece.
(For one evening meal we had macaroni and cheese along with hot dogs, for another we had spaghetti, and for yet another we had frozen Tombstone pizzas. Along with two meals out, and one of leftovers, that covered the evening meals we had while on St. Lucia.)
Staples such as milk (although we had to buy Lactose-free because regular skim milk was out because deliveries were not made to the grocery store), bread, yogurt, and bananas were all available — although expensive.
Moving from dress and food to transportation, I want to discuss the problem. First, there is no public transportation. All transportation is private. There are private vans moving between all the towns on the island, and the rates are controlled — and cheap. Vans, for example, moving between Castries and Rodney Bay (a 20-30-minute trip depending on the traffic) carried passengers (about 10-14 per van) for about $2.00 EC$ or less than $1.00 U.S.
We had to make a decision about whether or not to rent a car. The owner of our rental home said he would take care of transportation for us, and, in retrospect, he did. But that made us totally dependent on him. Also, to get us to and from the airport, and for our tour of the island, he charged us — and he wasn’t inexpensive! It took us two vehicles to get to and from the airport and cost us $80.00 U.S. each. To tour the island it was $80.00 per adult; there were three of us.
Perhaps we could have rented a car and saved money; however, it is unlikely that renting a car would have worked out well, and there are at least six reasons for this. First, driving on the left (as the British do) makes it somewhat difficult at the outset. It isn’t that U.S. drivers cannot or should not drive on the left, but our normal instincts and natural reflexes are the opposite; thus, in trying or stressful traffic situations, we are likely to respond in the opposite way we should.
The second reason that renting a car would not have worked out well is that there are no road signs nor speed limits. Ali Breen, our designated taxi driver, told us that the hilly, twisty, narrow roads of St. Lucia impose their own limits regarding speed. Third, it is difficult to find your way around. Main roads may go through the two large cities (Castries and Soufriere), but they do not flow in a straight line by any means, and with no highway numbers, without a local map, which would, perhaps, make things easier, it can be a maze that is best pursued through trial and error!
There are three other reasons. The fourth is that local drivers tend to be fast and aggressive. The deference and respect shown to other local drivers is negotiated and follows local customs — which foreign drivers don’t know. Fifth, roads are narrow, twisty, with lots of hills. Cars pass on hills and curves with abandon — and high risk. It’s a wonder there aren’t more accidents, and Greg, who drove us around most of the time, said there are a lot! The sixth reason, and the best one, is that I’m not sure I’d even like to do it. There are far too many arguments against it! (One argument I did not use was the cost. It is not just expensive to rent a car or van, but the gas is expensive, too.)
Dress, food, and transportation are some of the factors that need to be considered if you are planning to go to St. Lucia. We went to accompany our older daughter and her 3 kids, and it was a great choice (very expensive to get there, to rent a house, and to buy food), but we saw the island, experienced the culture, enjoyed the cuisine, swam in the water, and would want to experience another place for another time.
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The website VirtualTourist has a page called “St. Lucia Favorites” that gives numerous hints about what to see and do (and how to prepare) by people who have been there.
Visit St. Lucia: Traveler’s Essentials has a brief essay entitled “Safety in St. Lucia that is a must read for anyone planning to go there.
The website St. Lucia Guide.info discusses the seasons, when it is best to visit, and in “Time’s On Your Side,” also offers information on the events and festivals. There is, for example, a two-week jazz festival in May of each year that is popular and well attended.
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Copyright April, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
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