Coincidence --- Keep your eye out for the levers and pullies

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
    
“Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."
([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
    
“While American novelist Anne Parrish was browsing bookstores in Paris in the 1920s, she came upon a book that was one of her childhood favorites - Jack Frost and Other Stories. She picked up the old book and showed it to her husband, telling him of the book she fondly remembered as a child. Her husband took the book, opened it, and on the flyleaf found the inscription: "Anne Parrish, 209 N. Weber Street, Colorado Springs." It was Anne's very own book. (Source: While Rome Burns, Alexander Wollcott)” ([N.a.]. (05-02-07). Oddee, “20 Most Amazing Coincidences,” Retrieved January 26, 2011.).
    
David G. Myers, Professor of Psychology, Hope College, begins his essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” with this paragraph: “People around me have been both amused and aghast at the news that on 9-11 the New York State Lottery's evening number game popped up the numbers 9-1-1. Is this a paranormal happening? A wink from God? Is there a message here?”  
    
A coincidence is simply the appearance of a meaningful connection when there is none.
    
When you watch a quarterback who is “in the flow,” and just makes all his passes, or, when Michael Jordan hit nearly every three-point shot he attempted, and then running down the floor shrugging his shoulders and turning his palms up as if to say, “I can’t believe it either!” you are a witness to coincidence.  The quarterback and Michael Jordan had the hot hands.  When you see stock-market patterns, batting slumps, people driving down a busy main street and hitting every stoplight green, our pattern-seeking minds demand explanations.  The goal of our minds is to connect anomalies in some meaningful way.  You know as well as I do, that it is very difficult to accept the idea that something happened, and it doesn’t mean anything at all.
    
“One thing is certain about coincidence,” writes Jill Neimark, in an essay, “The Power of Coincidence,” at the Psychology Today: Personality web site, “the phenomenon fascinates believers and skeptics alike. It's a porthole into one of the most interesting philosophical questions we can ask: Are the events of our lives ultimately objective or subjective?  Is there a deeper order, an overarching purpose to the universe?  Or are we the lucky accidents of evolution, living our precious but brief lives in a fundamentally random world that has only the meaning we choose to give it?”
    
“Some people find it surprising,” Robert T. Carroll writes on the Skeptic’s Dictionary web site, in an essay, “Law of truly large numbers (coincidence),” “that there are more than 16 million others on the planet who share their birthday. At a typical football game with 50,000 fans, most fans are likely to share their birthday with about 135 others in attendance. (The notable exception will be those born on February 29. There will only be about 34 fans born on that day.)”
    
At this web site, the Skeptic’s Dictionary, Carroll writes about Uri Geller’s explanation of the coincidences that occurred as a result of the anti-terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.  “[Geller] asked everyone to pray for eleven seconds for those in need,” writes Carroll, “Why? He was convinced that there was a cryptic, numerological message in the events that occurred that day.”
    
Carroll provides a great conclusion to his essay that should alert everyone to be cautious in finding meaningfulness in patterns: “If we start hunting for items that seem relevant but don't fit the pattern, we will soon see that there is nothing special about Geller's list or the number 11. Only by focusing on anything that we can fit to our belief and ignoring everything that doesn't fit (confirmation bias) can we make these coincidences seem meaningful.”
    
At the web site Quackwatch [I love the name of this web site!], Robert Novella has an essay titled, “The Power of Coincidence: Some Notes on ‘Psychic’ Predictions” (August 31, 2000).  Novella has effectively and succinctly explained the problem people have with coincidences when he writes: “There are many simple reasons why most people misinterpret coincidences:
    
        * Humans have a poor innate grasp of probability.
        * We believe that all effects must have deliberate causes.
        * We do not understand the laws regarding truly large numbers.
        * We easily succumb to selective validation—the tendency to remember only positive correlations and forget the far more numerous misses.”
    
At Listverse “Top 15 Amazing Coincidences” (November 12, 2007) — taken from Ripley’s Believe it or not, BBC, and the New Scientist  — the sensational coincidence reads like this: “In 1975, while riding a moped in Bermuda, a man was accidentally struck and killed by a taxi. One year later, this man’s bother was killed in the very same way. In fact, he was riding the very same moped. And to stretch the odds even further, he was struck by the very same taxi driven by the same driver – and even carrying the very same passenger!”  The sensational coincidences discussed are remarkable.
    
Robert Novella, cited above, concludes his essay in this way: “. . . the vast majority [of coincidences] that we experience turn out to be much more probable than they appear, if analyzed critically. When this is taken into account, along with our propensity for selective validation, our desire to believe in something akin to fate, and our coincidence-detection hardwiring, the true deceptive power of coincidence is realized.”  Emma Bull said, “Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
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At About.com: Paranormal Phenomena Stephen Wagner’s essay, “Amazing Coincidences,” explains at least ten sensational coincidences.

“Much religious faith is based on the idea that almost nothing is coincidence; science is an exercise in eliminating the taint of coincidence.”  This is just one short sentence pulled out of context in an essay by Lisa Belkin, “The Odds of That” (August 11, 2002), at the New York Times website.
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Copyright May, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing, L.L.C.

Day #223 - Live as an example to those around you.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."  --Mark Twain

Day #223 - Live as an example to those around you.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Life's lessons: Explore, dream, discover

by Richard L. Weaver II

Ever since my grandmother put her hand on my head and said, “Dickie, whatever you are be that. Whatever you say be true. Straightforwardly act, be honest, in fact, but be nobody else but you,” I have been intrigued by witty sayings, quaint aphorisms, words of wisdom, and humorous words to the wise.

Perhaps my grandmother’s gesture was an omen regarding my life as a speaker and writer, for it is precisely those reasons that have both prolonged and intensified my interest. It just proves the validity of the aphorism, “I finally have my head together . . . now my body is falling apart.”

My early examples of sayings came from my parents. One aphorism that stood out from all others was “What is worth doing is worth doing well”—a quotation from the Earl of Chesterfield (Philip Dormer Stanhope) in a book called Letters to His Son (1774). I’m probably more of a perfectionist than what is good for any person; however, looking back on my life I realize that I internalized this quotation as a core value. It pushes you toward perfection.

Living according to a quotation from your parents is like many of the things you learn from them, you pay little attention to it when it is conveyed, but suddenly and unexpectedly you realize it is guiding your life. It is easier getting older than it is getting wiser.

All through the raising of our four children, one of the predominant quotations was, “Life is unfair; deal with it!” This was a response to our children’s attempts to level the playing field. When one received an opportunity not shared by the others, the question was always, “Why does so-and-so get such-and-such, and I don’t?” In general, we found that raising teenagers was like nailing Jell-o to a tree.

In raising kids you always have to keep in mind that today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground. And, in looking back, it is clear that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Witty sayings have been incorporated into my writing simply because they add interest, entertainment and, hopefully, assist memory. A saying that I used in one of the speeches published in Vital Speeches of the Day, was selected for inclusion in Reader’s Digest. From there it was picked up by Garborg’s of Bloomington, Minnesota, for inclusion as a saying on one of their “Cherished Thoughts” eternal calendars. Finally, it was chosen as the chapter-opening quotation in a wonderful book on humor by Edgar E. Willis entitled “How to be Funny on Purpose: Creating and Consuming Humor” (Amazon.com, 2005). The quotation reads, “One of the best things people can have up their sleeves is a funny bone.”

Of course, once a quotation finds its way to the Internet, it gets around quickly, and I discovered the quotation, sometimes with proper attribution and sometimes without, at a wide variety of locations including “Cool Quotes,” “Quotes-Famous Quotes,” “Laughter Heals Foundation,” “My Quote Page for Cancer,” and “Thoughts on the Business of Life - Forbes.com” to name just a few. One source attributes it to Robert Weaver.

Why did I visit these sites on the Internet? Because laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside. So I went jogging on the Internet! Maybe it wasn’t for the laughter, maybe it was because my mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves me completely.

Early in my teaching career, I would tell my students “Be a sponge for knowledge,” which is a condensed version of Jim Rohn’s motivational quotes which reads, “Be like a sponge when it comes to each new experience. If you want to be able to express it well, you must first be able to absorb it well.”

I became so enamored with quotations that I would purchase books of them. Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations is probably the most popular, but there were many others like Jampolsky and Cirincione’s Wake-Up Calls, Maltz’s Thoughts to Live By, Peter’s Quotations, The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, Prochnow’s The Complete Toastmaster, Adam’s Encyclopedia of Humor, Petty’s Apples of Gold and her Wings of Silver as well, and this barely touches the surface.

And what did I do with all the quotations? I would put the relevant ones at the bottom of the examinations I gave. I instructed students that the quotations were for added interest only, and they did not have any direct bearing on the content of the examination questions. If students chose to, they were told the quotations could be avoided altogether.

Because of the numerous requests for the quotations, I compiled a handout that included just the quotations. On a regular basis, I had to reprint these handouts because of the extensive requests. Many were motivational such as Henry James’s “It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined,” or Abraham Lincoln’s, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

There have been several related quotations that have driven my teaching style and approach. Henry David Thoreau said, “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” William James, in a closely related quote, said “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” And the culminating quotation that, for me as a teacher, served as the catalyst for these, is Johann W. von Goethe’s statement, “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”

My speaking and writing is replete with keys, steps, approaches, and ideas for growth, development, and change. Thus, this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, for me, became a self-motivator as well as a motivator of others: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” True, but how do we get there? “The important thing is this,” said John Lembo, “to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”

Mark Twain captured this best when he said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

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At Life’s Lesson , Randy has a lesson in “Learning Through the Ages (Thanks Marlene G)” for ages from 5 to 85 that are enjoyable and reflective. They are just short quotation-like statements, but they can really make you think. Delightful.

At Marc and Angel Hack Life , there are practical tips for productive living. At the website mentioned here, they have listed “26 Life Lessons Learned by Age 26.” Also, they list other essays in the right margin that I have not read, but that look interesting. Some of these titles are, “50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do,” “How To Walk On Water,” “21 Keys to Magnetic,” Likeability,” “70 Things To Do Before Having Children,” “The 30 Most Satisfying Simple Pleasures Life Has to Offer,” “The 7 Habits of Highly Happy People,” “10 Reasons You Are Rich,” and “8 Means for Living Below Your Means.” This is just a sampling.
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Copyright April 2009 by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.