by Richard L. Weaver II
Don Wilder, cinematographer, says excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. I’ve not been one to make a whole lot of excuses, but having taught college for close to 30 years one automatically hears a wide range. It seems to go with the territory. “I didn’t do well on the exam because the professor asked questions on sections we hadn’t studied,” or “She didn’t explain the material well enough,” are some typical responses when the real reason is, “I wasn’t prepared,” or “I didn’t go to class.”
Education isn’t alone in making people experts when it comes to using excuses. What it does is embed the process deeply in students’ psyches. The problem isn’t that difficult to discover; nobody wants to take responsibility for their problems or failures. Excuses are simply ploys to divert attention from themselves. Marcus Stroup clarified the problem in his quotation, “There aren’t nearly enough crutches in the world for all the lame excuses.”
People will say, “I can’t eat healthier, because I’m too busy, and I have to depend on fast foods,” or “I can’t lose weight because I can’t stand being hungry all the time,” or “I can’t exercise because I just don’t have the time.” The key to understanding all excuses is this: we make room in our lives for what we consider important. An old Yiddish proverb states, “If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.”
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover the problem in our society. Things have been made too easy. Food is as close as the nearest drive-through, information arrives with a mere keystroke, music of our choice is on the iPod, a family or friend contact is on the cell phone, delicious snacks and beverages are available to suit every taste, and a wide array of amusing, entertaining, and captivating play-diversions are available to occupy any extra moment in our busy, fully-occupied, consumer-oriented lives. We are easily distracted, amused, and entertained.
When the standards are set low, there is no bar to raise; it lies below ground-level. There is no challenge, no difficulty, no strain, nor need to stretch. The flab of the fat reflects the sagging society. If things seem a bit lackluster and lifeless, check no further than many of those listless, uninspiring bodies simply occupying space.
Let’s first discuss the harm that lies in excuses. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” According to Chuck Gallozzi in his essay, “Making Excuses,” at the website personal-development.com, there are two major harms. First, they negate responsibility, “and it is responsibility,” Gallozzi adds, “that separates man from the rest of the animal kingdom.” Second, they prevent one from succeeding. Gallozzi says, “When we make excuses and repeat them often enough, they become a belief. The belief then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Let’s reverse it and rather than discuss the harms, look at the rewards. Is it really worth it to drop the excuses? The answer is clearly, “Yes.” First, it brings all the benefits of living a life of responsibility. For example, an attitude of responsibility builds self-respect, pride, and confidence. And with these traits, too, comes competence and power. Second, it puts you in charge. You have control over your life, and you don’t have to hide behind excuses. Hiding is a weakness. When you admit your failures, you can delight and glory in your strengths. It is at these times when you realize that your success or failure depends on you — only you.
Third, and as a direct byproduct of the first two rewards, dropping the excuses will make you a better person. It could have a direct effect on your intelligence, and your actions will become deliberate and thoughtful — the actions of a responsible human being.
Fortunately, your life doesn’t need to be built on excuses. Yes, it could be argued that you need them. Donald Lawrence explains the need in an online essay at the website Helium. He noted in his essay, “Stop Making Excuses!,” “We need them to make sense of the senseless, find sanity in the insane, and a resemblance of order in chaos.” One of his most insightful comments is, “Our excuses are the walls of stone that we construct. They are our silent shields, our perfect protection.” So, the solution, obviously, is not to eliminate all excuses from our lives. Perhaps we need a wall or two or a silent shield. But, there are things we can do to limit them.
The first step in changing from a life of excuses to one of taking responsibility is to begin to have confidence in yourself and your talents. This was the first of four steps listed at the eHow website in an essay there by the eHow health editor entitled, “How to Stop Making Excuses.” Excuses make us doubt our abilities and qualifications.
The second step discussed by the eHow health editor is to seize the opportunity. The point is simply that there is no “perfect” time for anything. Make a commitment to yourself to start right now. What are you waiting for? You don’t have time? That reflects no commitment whatever. If you are afraid of failure or afraid of getting out of your comfort zone, nobody can take this step for you: make the commitment, and make it now. Take charge of your life.
The third step is to focus on your successes and learn from your failures. Sure, you’ve failed before; we all have. Life is too short to dwell on failures. The eHow health editor suggests making a list of your accomplishments for times when you can use a pep talk.
The fourth step is to be honest with yourself. Are you serious about changing your behavior? What is it that is really holding you back? Are excuses hiding something much deeper?
Always along the road to change, you must stop to examine your progress. When you compare where you are now with where you would like to be, create specific plans to change. Also, along the way, too, there will be mistakes. Accept responsibility; learn from them; don’t repeat them. Sure, excuses could be the nails used to build a house of failure, but Henry Ward Beecher offers strong motivation in his comment, “Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you, never excuse yourself.”
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Bryan Clark has a delightful, motivational essay entitled, “Stop producing excuses and start producing results,” that has to do with how to become wealthy online. His essay can be found at the website OneMansGoal.com. His is a short, enjoyable read if all you need is just a shot-glass full of adrenaline.
Scott H. Young has a thoughtful, short, little essay, entitled “How to stop making excuses,” on his website. Scott claims the solution to stopping the use of excuses lies in two steps: organizing your priorities, and breaking large, uncomfortable steps into manageable pieces.
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Copyright 2009 by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
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Sorry I haven't had a chance to comment on the latest essay but the dog ate my homework - the check is in the mail and... "excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure." ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
ReplyDeleteWhile rowing across the river to get to the blog, I got lost in the fog and couldn't respond. Besides,
ReplyDeletesomeone forgot to shovel the snow in our driveway as I was on my way
to go to an audition for American Idol. Also, my neighbor stole my truck so I couldn't get to the blog, and, in addition, my route to the blog was shut down by a Presidential motorcade. Who would have guessed? Also, I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my responsibility. Besides that, I was indicted for securities fraud just this morning, and when I finally got started, the line was too long at Starbucks. I would have responded sooner, too, but I was trying to get my gun back from the police, then, finally, I stopped for gas, but I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawn shops were closed. I understand your problem Jimmylee, but I have stacks and heaps of my own!