Has anyone seen our Book Club? We need to learn how to fly

And Then Some Publishing News

Have you checked out the And Then Some Publishing Book Club? Every Monday we review books based on the And Then Some Philosophy: Give more, get more, want more from life. We've had reviews from our family of readers, however most of our reviews are written by Richard L. Weaver II. His analysis of each book will let you know if this is the book for you.

Visit our Book Club... And Then Some!

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "Learning how to fly."  Why would my lessons in learning how to fly merit an essay?  Because, I feel, the requirements that go into learning how to fly are similar to those that signal when a little bird is ready to leave its nest — or, when a child is ready to leave home.  Not to fill the basic prerequisites is likely to create major problems if not disaster.

Learning how to fly
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
Learning how to fly — becoming independent — is much the same as learning how to fly.  Learn the fundamentals, gain as much experience as possible, then rely on yourself.  Many people say it requires a willingness to let go; however, I would contend that it requires use of all your resources.  Your instructor — just like your knowledge and experience — stay with you and, mentally, continue to provide suggestions and guidance.  You never “let go.”   If you have the commitment and the patience, you, too, can learn to fly.

And Then Some Works!

Nothing Was the Same: A Memoir

Book Club... And Then Some!

Nothing Was the Same: A Memoir          

by Kay Redfield Jamison



 Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

This is a touching, deeply moving, difficult to read (yet difficult to put down), love story in which Jamison, a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and co-director of the Johns Hopkins Mood Disorders Center and author of the national best seller, An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast, writes about her 20 years with Richard Wyatt, also an important researcher in the area of mental disorders.  As Shalom Fradman, from Jerusalem, Israel, writes in his Amazon review, “She tells the story with taste, restraint, feeling, and unfailing intelligence and wisdom.”

The book is written with care, precision, honesty, reflection, and in beautiful prose. 

Jamison writes about grief, sickness, and dying, but in a profound, simple manner.

How two well-educated, intelligent people could sustain their loving bond through all their adversity is remarkable.  How their passion was sustained through the days and moments of sickness before his death, and how their celebration of life sustained them is amazing.  What a joy!  What an unbelievable testimony for the bond that true love can offer.

As one reviewer said, “‘Drs. Wyatt and Jamison found happiness not in idealized illusions, but in living—with as much integrity and joy as possible—their own imperfect lives.”

This is a unique book that will touch you deeply, move you with passion and intensity, and, thus, will impress you forever. 



-----


This book is available from Amazon.com: Nothing Was the Same: A Memoir

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Get Organized

 I’ve never been convinced that “organization skills” can be taught; those who are organized can become better organized, and for those whose natural inclination is chaos — disorganization — you can offer guidelines, suggestions, and recommendations and, if you’re lucky, some may penetrate and get used, but in the end, I think, disorganization tends to win out because of the habitual penchant toward disarray.  I have no evidence of this, just an observation based on teaching organization skills for 30 years.

I wonder whether those whose lives — at least behind the scenes — tend to be messy and haphazard might be encouraged to make changes if they knew the benefits of getting organized.  The key to remember is, “Organized minds make successful people.”  At Life Organizers.com, Maria Gracia, in an essay entitled, “10 Little-Known Benefits of Getting Organized,” lists ones that I have discovered in my life as well.  The first one is that becoming organized will give you more time to relax.  When things are in their proper places, you can find them quickly, but you must remember to put them back for the next time.  Remembering to put them back is difficult, especially for procrastinators who will always claim, “I’ll do that later.”  Just that little act — remembering to put them back — is likely to be a key to lowering blood pressure and stress. 

Another benefit is that getting organized will give you more time to do other things.  I am often asked, “How do you get so much accomplished?”  The simple answer is organization.  I always wish I could be more organized, but if you are a workaholic, the pay off is clearly in the bottom line — quantity.  Quality occurs in how you go about getting the results.  More time to do other things includes more time for yourself, loved ones, family, and friends. 

For me, Gracia’s fourth benefit is especially important: feeling good about your environment.  Often, just before beginning a new writing project, I will clean up my entire study and try to get rid of all the excessive and unnecessary pages or manuscripts.  My problem is clutter, it is true, but what is most important is that I know where things are when I need them. 

Professional improvement and being a role model do not concern me as much as Gracia’s final, tenth, benefit: “You'll achieve more. When you're disorganized, there are always barriers that keep you from reaching your goals.  But organized people find ways to eliminate tasks that aren't necessary and to streamline those that are taking too much time. This leaves plenty of time to work on achieving all of those goals on your list.” 

It may be that none of these are sufficiently enticing, or it may be that even though they are, you may still wonder how you — personally — can get organized.   My suggestions are incredibly easy and, for me, successful.  Often, the primary problem boils down to one thing: you!  You are likely to be your own worst enemy.  There are four overall characteristics that will guide you in following each of the suggestions: 1) commitment, 2) self-discipline, 3) eliminate procrastination, and 4) ignore distractions.  If just a little push is necessary to start the process, then here is that push. 

My first suggestion is to begin using a planner.  This is more important for those who have a lot of appointments or for those whose days are so varied that it is difficult to keep track of the schedule.  You can do this the old-fashioned way with a pocket-sized notepad, or use a PDA, Blackberry or palm Pilot.  With a PDA, if you back it up at least once a week, and back up your computer at least once a month, you will always have a copy of your address book, calendar, and task list. 

Closely related to using a planner is the “to-do-list.”  I like daily lists, then those items not completed are simply carried over to the next list.  When very busy, it helps to free your mind so you can concentrate on what you’re doing right now: you just don’t have to think or worry that you might forget to do something.  PDAs hold lists, prioritize items, and assign each a due date. 

Making a “to-do-list” is also useful for combining similar activities.  For example, I have a list for everything I want to do when I get in the car to run errands.  Order on this list is important for saving time.  Completeness is important for finishing everything in a single trip.  You can get organized in much the same way by doing things at the same time: making your phone calls, paying your bills, and getting your e-mails answered. 

Another simple suggestion is to organize your work space.  The space I work in is extremely important.  Give everything you use and need a separate, convenient, and clearly designated space.  Everything I need is at my fingertips — paper, dictionary, thesaurus, pens, pencils, markers, scissors, rulers, tape, stapler, a clock, telephone, and supporting books and documents.  What is unnecessary is thrown out.  Examine how you use your space and design it to be efficient and convenient. 

Related to space concerns is the aphorism, “A place for everything and everything in its place” to which I just referred.  Find a specific place for your keys, cell phone and charging station, checks (if you use them) and bills.  I also have a place for my wallet, daily journal, dark glasses, pen, single blade knife, lip balm, and change.  When leaving the house no time is spent looking for essentials. 

Another simple suggestion for getting organized is multi-tasking.   Technology has assisted.  Organize your study, a drawer or cabinet, or do dishes while talking on the phone.  Fold clothes or towels while watching television.  Listen to books-on-tape while driving

Realize that making these changes overnight — as small as some of them are —  is almost impossible.  Change cannot take place that quickly.  Disorganization is as much a habit as getting organized, once it is accomplished.  Make little changes, starting for example, with one small area of your life or living area — papers, computer files, clothes, linen closet, kitchen, mail, children’s room.  When successful there, move on to another area.  Now, reward yourself for the completion of each goal you set — a night at a favorite restaurant, a movie, or a relaxing walk in the park.  Getting organized may be tough, but the rewards make it worthwhile; it is an important area for self-improvement. 

----- 

At WebMD, there are at least 16 tips on how to get organized in the essay there, “How to get organized—Finally!”—an essay by Hara Estroff Marano reprinted from Psychology Today.  Just enter “Get organized” into the Google search window, and you will get nearly 20 million hits. 

At WikiHow, there is so much information in the essay, “How to be organized,” that just reading it or clicking on the additional resources icons will keep you busy for a day or two.  This is an excellent website. 

There are 13 suggestions in the essay, “How to get organized,” at the eHow.com website.  I have discovered—as I’m sure you know already—that organizing skills at home or at work, carry over nicely into all other areas of your life; thus, putting these ideas into practice will assist you in a wide variety of areas. 

----- 

Copyright August, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #205 - Control your desires.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Our desires always increase with our possessions.  The knowledge that something remains yet unenjoyed impairs our enjoyment of the good before us."  ---Samuel Johnson

Day #205 - Control your desires.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Baby Memories Books and Get Organized

And Then Some Publishing News


Folks, we have put a pause on Edgar E. Willis' Shakespeare series. I know we promised Part 2 of Who Wrote William Shakespeare? this week, however, in September 2010 EdgarEWillis.com is going through a massive revision and we are waiting to release the rest of the videos in the Shakespeare series so we can adjust the website properly. Until then, there is no reason why you can't find out How to be Funny on Purpose and Edgar's World War II memoir.

We are excited to introduce you to BabyMemoriesBooks.com. This is a new website with the specific focus on Special Delivery: A Baby Memories Scrapbook for girls or boys. Do you need a baby shower gift? This is perfect... and after you visit the website you will know if this is the right gift. Watch videos, find out how to print your own affordable pictures.... and then some!

Leave a comment and tell us what you think of BabyMemoriesBooks.com. We want your opinion!

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “Get organized."  I’ve never been convinced that “organization skills” can be taught; those who are organized can become better organized, and for those whose natural inclination is chaos — disorganization — you can offer guidelines, suggestions, and recommendations and, if you’re lucky, some may penetrate and get used, but in the end, I think, disorganization tends to win out because of the habitual penchant toward disarray.  I have no evidence of this, just an observation based on teaching organization skills for 30 years.  But there is so much available on how to get organized, what you need to know are the benefits, and that is what this essay does---clearly explains the benefits. 

Get Organized
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
Realize that making these changes overnight — as small as some of them are —  is almost impossible.  Change cannot take place that quickly.  Disorganization is as much a habit as getting organized, once it is accomplished.  Make little changes, starting for example, with one small area of your life or living area — papers, computer files, clothes, linen closet, kitchen, mail, children’s room.  When successful there, move on to another area.  Now, reward yourself for the completion of each goal you set — a night at a favorite restaurant, a movie, or a relaxing walk in the park.  Getting organized may be tough, but the rewards make it worthwhile; it is an important area for self-improvement.

---

And Then Some Works!

Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son

Book Club... And Then Some!

Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son        

by Michael Chabon



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

There are several things I truly enjoyed about this book.  First, I loved the author’s willingness to be open, frank, and personal.  This is a collection of short autobiographical stories.  If you’re just looking for an enjoyable and sometimes intriguing look into someone else’s life and thoughts, this is an entertaining read. 

The second thing I enjoyed about this book is Chabon’s use of language.  He uses the English language well, and his fluent writing style is delightful.  Although his writing tends to be a bit formal and crisp, his humor and wit shine through and charm you.  Thus, if you’re seeking a well-written book, this would be an excellent choice.

The third thing I enjoyed about this book is that it offers a peek into another man’s life.  One reviewer summarized the content of his essays in this way: “Chabon takes us on a journey through his childhood: the unflagging support of his mother; the inability to connect with his father despite the love between them; the joy and privilege of being able to explore, unhindered by adult supervision, the world around him and, the ache of realizing one is losing it all.  From his childhood to adulthood and then to fatherhood we follow the unique tale of a man’s life, one who is gifted enough to share with his readers all the joys and disasters that a life lived carries with it.”

Chabon’s descriptions are rich in detail, replete with the emotions experienced at the time, and full of charm and wonder—almost as if it is a child discovering a whole new world one experience at a time. 

Clearly this is a well-written, candid, funny, thoughtful, self-disclosing, witty, informative, wise, and totally captivating book designed for all to read—not just men, fathers, and fathers-to-be.

-----

This book is available from Amazon.com: Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments then asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Is there an erosion of standards?

In the editorial section of the March 1, 2007, edition of The (Toledo) Blade, there was an “Another Opinion” column reprinted from the Washington Post entitled “Dismal performance of high school seniors,” and the article states that, “high school seniors, though taking more advanced classes and getting better grades, are performing dismally on national tests.”  The article goes on to answer the question, “Why?” with the following explanation: “Advanced classes may have high-falutin’ course descriptions, but the curriculum has been dumbed down.  Pressure to pass students has caused grade inflation.”  The article ends saying academic standards and accountability must be raised, “so students graduating from high school are able to meet the demands of college work.” 

In reading this column I was struck by the fact that the erosion of standards in America’s public high schools isn’t the only area where erosion is taking place.  It can be seen in higher education, language, manners, honesty, television, sex, and ethics as well as in many other areas. 

The United States is recognized as having the world’s best system of higher education, but that doesn’t mean the system is graduating students who are prepared to understand the world or, more importantly, have benefitted from the wisdom of the great thinkers, writers, scientists, and historians.  Students today have little interest in what past generations of college students accepted as an essential education.  For a growing number of college students, higher education is all about focusing on a career path and studying narrowly about the skills required of that career path.  This short-cut route to postgraduate adulthood leaves behind the building blocks of an educated person.  Today the ideas of Oprah and Tom Cruise’s blog musings are held in higher regard than Plato’s Republic or Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice. 

In addition to higher education, the ability to use the English language has eroded.  The chances are that a graduating college student will be unable to write ordinary, expository English with any real degree of structure or lucidity.  A high school student planning to attend college is unlikely to be able to write English at the minimum college level when they get there.  If students are not planning to attend college, their skills in writing English may not even qualify them for secretarial or clerical work.  Students in elementary school are not being given the kind of required reading material, much less writing instruction, that would make it possible for them eventually to write comprehensible English. 

Manners is another area where standards have eroded.  One poll found that we’re ruder than ever, and it can be witnessed in the daily assault of selfish, inconsiderate behavior on the highways, in the office, on television, and in stores.  In this same poll, nearly 8 in 10 respondents said lack of respect and courtesy is a serious national problem, and 61% agreed that there is more rude behavior today than in the past.  We’re rude, and we’re mean: there’s road rage, air rage, cellphone rage, checkout rage, bike rage, sports rage, parking rage, rail rage, bank rage, roller rage, boat rage, desk rage, car alarm rage, and drivers who even honk at people on crutches.  According to one expert, there’s also “funeral rage”—people actually flip the bird and cut off funeral processions.  

The erosion of honesty in our society is shameful.  Dishonest practices, bold-faced lies, and scams are so pervasive in the auto repair business that dealers and repair-shop owners no longer consider themselves dishonest.  If everyone else is doing it, that makes it “normal behavior.”  That dishonesty, however, pales in comparison to deliberately misleading advertisements, corruption, miscarriages of justice, tax evasion, unnecessary medical procedures, harassment of whistle-blowers, and all other forms of dishonesty.  The threat to democracy and a free economy is not from attacks on our country by religious zealots but terrorism carried out daily by a den of thieves. 

Television, too, contributes to an erosion of standards.  Much of the news media has focused on violence, but that is a small part of the problem.  There are explicit sex scenes and crude language during prime time and pornographic content on talk shows and soap operas.  Television assaults the values that many Americans hold dear.  Our culture has been hijacked and replaced by something that openly rejects, rather than reflects, the values people try to instill in their families.  In the world of television, sex is a recreational pastime, indecency is a cause for laughter, and humans are killed as casually and senselessly as bugs.  It is a coarse caricature of the America people love. 

There has been an erosion of standards in the area of sex as standards of sexual morality have been dropped.  Television, movies, popular songs, and the printed media present an enormous temptation towards sexual misconduct.  The lack of personal discipline and self control regarding sexual matters has caused difficulty and is likely to be reflected in the increases in teen pregnancies, abortions, adultery, sexual abuse of children, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.  One poll indicated that one in five Americans have a sexually transmitted disease. 

When there is an erosion of standards in manners, honesty, and sex, you would expect it to be reflected in the area of ethics as well.  Americans have witnessed a significant number of individual ethical lapses that have resulted in organizational and systemic failures.  Corporate malfeasance, sexual abuse by priests coupled with woefully inadequate responses by church hierarchy, unethical and corrupt acts by government officials, an increase in cheating by students, and the fabrication of scientific evidence by researchers, violations of journalistic integrity, and violations of the standards of fair play in athletics, are just a few examples where ethical lapses have occurred.  

This essay has barely touched the surface of an enormous erosion of standards, but one fact is clear, such erosion undermines individual responsibility and civic values, harms individuals, generates a loss of public trust in the institutions of our society, and leaves everyone searching for guideposts—instructions on how to proceed when faced with complex emerging issues. 

-----     

At the website Helium.com, the title of the entry is: “Does the erosion of moral values also erode the strength of our society?”  The discussion of this question is provided by Clint Daniel with the opposing side offered by Michelle R. Bishop.  Both sides of the discussion are interesting and worth reading. 

At the Flaming Liberal! website, the essay there, “Society at the crosswords,” covers far more ethical lapses than the essay above.  The essay includes the following parts: 1. The Erosion of Ethics, 2. The Source of Values, and 3. Capitalism as a system of ethics, and 4. Is there another way?  I like the solution that Gordon Glasgow, the author of this essay, offers readers.  Read the essay and decide for yourself. 

----- 

Copyright August, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #204 - Avoid apathy.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all---the apathy of human beings."  ---Helen Keller

Day #204 - Avoid apathy.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Who Wrote Shakespeare? Part 2 Release Date and Essay Preview - Is there an erosion of standards?

And Then Some Publishing News

-----

We know so little about William Shakespeare that it has been said of what we know could  be written on a postcard. What does Shakespeare reveal about himself through his plays and sonnets?

1. Asking first, When were the plays written?
   
2. The writer had a broad expansive education.
   
3. You couldn't write these plays without a profound knowledge of the law.
   
4. The writer of the Shakespeare plays was a great traveler.
   
5. These plays and sonnets were written by someone very familiar with court scenes and the ways of the aristocracy.
   
6. The writing displayed extensive knowledge of the theater and that further developed his craftsmanship as a playwright.
   
7. The writer had a deep understanding of human nature.
   

It's Stratfordians vs. Anti-Stratfordians! People who believe William Shakespeare wrote his own works versus those who say he didn't. Why ask if Shakespeare authored his own poems, sonnets, and plays? Anti-Stratfordians contend it couldn't be possible for a person to be born in Stratford, in the kind of atmosphere, environment, and at that time, could have possibly written the plays that are now credited to him.

Part 2 of the video Who Wrote William Shakespeare? by Edgar E. Willis is next Tuesday's News, August 24, 2010. Edgar has more videos on his website... check out How to Funny on Purpose at EdgarEWillis.com.

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “Is there an erosion of standards?"  In reading a column in the Toledo Blade I was struck by the fact that the erosion of standards in America’s public high schools (which the column discussed) isn’t the only area where erosion is taking place.  It can be seen in higher education, language, manners, honesty, television, and sex as well as in many other areas.When there is an erosion of standards in manners, honesty, and sex, you would expect it to be reflected in the area of ethics as well.  Read this essay---which takes a very definite and strong position---and see if you agree. 

Is there an erosion of standards?
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:

This essay has barely touched the surface of an enormous erosion of standards, but one fact is clear, such erosion undermines individual responsibility and civic values, harms individuals, generates a loss of public trust in the institutions of our society, and leaves everyone searching for guideposts—instructions on how to proceed when faced with complex emerging issues.

---

And Then Some Works!

The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty and Terror of Science

Book Club... And Then Some!





The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty and Terror of Science             
by Richard Holmes



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
If you are looking for a well-written, engaging, and entertaining read, choose this book.  Just as it says on the front flyleaf: “A riveting history of the men and women whose discoveries and inventions at the end of the eighteenth century gave birth to the Romantic Age of Science.”  That is precisely what you get: “a coherent and compelling brief history of the romantic era scientists.  Well written, engaging, and a pleasure to read,” writes one reviewer.

There is a 33-page (fine print) index, 28 pages of references, and an eleven-page bibliography for this 552-page book.  The 25 pages of pictures (separated into three sections) are useful and excellent.  In addition, the author provides a 22-page cast list which makes reading the story easier.

It is as one reviewer said, “a nail biting drama—what will Davy discover next?  Will he foil his scientific genius with his outsized ego and penchant for fly fishing?  I raced through the chapters to find out what happens next (200 years ago).”

On the front flyleaf of the book, the characters of Holmes narrative are briefly described: “Three lives dominate the book: William Herschel and his siter Caroline, whose dedication to the stuy of the stars forever changed the public conception of the solar system, the Milky Way, and the meaning of the universe; and Humphry Davy, who with only a grammar-school education stunned the scienfific community with near-suicidal gas experiments that led to the invention of the miners’ lamp and established British chemistry as the leading professional science in Europe.”

What I especially enjoyed is that throughout the book Holmes brings together literature and science.  You get Davy’s poems, and although they fill a substantial portion of the book, they provide a delightful respite from the narrative, and it offers, too, a look at the romantic literature of the time. 

-----

This book is available from Amazon.com: The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty and Terror of Science

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit.  Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst.  So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars.

The partner was horrified.  "The judge is an honorable man," the partner exclaimed.  "If you do that, I can guarantee you will lose the case!"

Weeks later, the judge ruled in favor of the lawyer's client.  The partner took him to lunch to congratulate him.  "Aren't you glad yo didn't send those cigars to the judge?" the partner asked.

"But I did send them," replied the lawyer.  "I just enclosed the plaintiff's lawyer's business card!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Family members as role models—the first school for young children

When my oldest son was eight years old, I was mowing the lawn, and he was walking in my tracks with his plastic lawnmower, following every line, making every turn, and doing exactly what I was doing.  I would wash our car, and exactly the same behavior would take place; he would follow every movement precisely as I preceded him.  This, of course, is the obvious imitation that we all see and sometimes capture with a camera or video recorder.  Imitation, however, often runs much deeper, is less noticeable, and has more profound consequences in the lives of our children.  It goes without saying that parents, caregivers, and family members are vital to the healthy development and growth of children.  Little kids are like sponges—soaking up what they see and hear. 

I have been a writer all of my married life, but one thing my wife made clear very early was that regardless of the time I needed at the typewriter/ computer, it was not just important but necessary for me to be available to our children whenever they asked for attention.  I would take the time to listen to them and talk with them and, often, this took place on my lap in my study.  Those were precious moments (and over so quickly!)  Now, I treat my grandchildren in precisely the same way. 

I thought about this the other day when Mckenzie (9 years old) came into my study to say hello.  She asked what I was doing, although she knows that I write and is familiar with the signs because she has seen them so many times before.  I stopped and explained the essay I was writing, and I showed her the notes I was using.  The notes were part of the daily diary I keep.  She said that she keeps a diary, too, and I let her know what a good idea that is because although our minds are good at remembering things, often it is the specific details that slip away as time passes.  

I showed her some of the entries I had written; I even went back ten or twenty years and showed her some of my earlier diaries.  Mckenzie is a writer, so I showed her the notes I take when my wife and I travel.  She was able to see the process I use as I convert information into essays.  Mckenzie and I, just like our other seven grandchildren, have a warm, comfortable, friendly, talk-oriented relationship.  The Bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs, 22:6).”  Caring adults make huge differences. 

Just as parents are vital to the healthy development and growth of children, grandparents serve a vital role as well.  For example, we can show our love and concern by telling them we love them, showing affection by hugging and kissing them or holding their hands when we go for a walk.  We also make time for special family fun activities. 

Another way grandparents serve a vital role is through communication.  Our grandchildren not only have excellent communication skills, but the channels of communication with us have always been open; we listen to them when they talk.  We find out what is going on in their lives, what they liked best when we visit a museum or zoo, and what their likes and dislikes are.  We find out about their friends, favorite toys, and the things they like doing the most.  Around the table when we eat, they know they can talk and share their ideas with us and other adults. 

By listening to our grandchildren, we show them respect.  When there is an argument or fight between them, we discuss ways to solve problems without arguing or fighting.  Also, we seek their ideas for helping to resolve issues. We explain that their anger, humiliation, or embarrassment is normal, but they must deal with it in peaceful, meaningful, and constructive ways.  Physical force and intimidation don’t solve problems.  Problem solving occurs when there is both respect and supportive, positive communication. 

There are many ways to obtain peaceful solutions to problems.  The first is to talk clearly and calmly.  When they can state the problem and their desire to solve it without fighting, they have moved toward resolving it.  If they can inject humor into the situation by making fun of the problem, it can change the situation from one of hostility and confrontation to friendliness and amelioration.  The art of compromise suggests that conflict situations can have win-win outcomes when both parties are willing to give up something.  Also, kids can be told that it takes more guts and self-respect to walk away from a fight than to fight. 

There is no doubt that parents are a child’s first teachers and role models.  Usually, too, children are more affected by what their parents do than by what their parents say.  They learn how to behave by seeing how their mothers and fathers behave, and they follow their example.  It is like a computer’s default pattern.  That is, when given no specific instructions on how the computer is supposed to deal with a situation, it falls back on the programming it has stored in its memory, and it uses the instructions in that programming. 

Mothers and fathers need to be aware of the “lessons” they are unintentionally teaching their children.  Children learn without parents realizing it.  For example, a great discussion was taking place at the dinner table one day between the adults, and it was thought that all the kids had gone downstairs to play.  Suddenly, one adult turned to see that the oldest of our grandchildren was seated at the table where she had finishing eating, and she was totally absorbed by and involved with the discussion taking place.  She just smiled, knowing that the adults thought none of the kids were listening—and, yet, there she was: absorbing, thinking, learning. 

Have you ever listened to your children playing house?  Often the language they use as they discipline or punish a younger sister or brother takes place in the same sharp tones you use when scolding.  The way your children are treated will directly determine how they treat others. The kinds of things that occupy their interests are precisely those that take place daily around them.  If they use “please” and “thank you” it is only because these good manners are insisted upon by considerate, respectful, and concerned parents.  A Chinese proverb says, “A young branch takes on all the bends that one gives it.” 

Valuing children as human beings, revealing consistency between what you do and what you expect children to do, creating a positive and supportive home atmosphere, accentuating the positive, and modeling and explaining effective, expected behaviors, are just some of the ways adults can influence children.  “Family,” says Alice Sterling Honig, a child development specialist, is the first school for young children....” 

----- 

At Family Guide, the essay, “Be a good role model: Somebody is watching you,” is an excellent one and underscores what I have said in the essay above.  Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)—which sponsors this website—ends the essay saying: “Your values, opinions, and example carry more weight with your child than you may have thought. By providing a positive model for your child to follow, you set a good example on how to successfully navigate life's conflicts and negative messages-and to choose healthy behaviors that will follow into adulthood.” 

At Dragos Roua — Brilliantly Better, the essay, “Stop Looking at Role Models to Do the Dirty Work for You,” by Hulbert Lee is a real treat.  Lee writes: “When you look up to someone all your life, someone that’s always there who gives you hope, courage, motivation, inspiration, excitement, desire, or what have you, what happens one day when they don’t have that same impact on you anymore? Who do you really become? Who are you? Are you nobody? Do you feel empty? I know I did… I wondered who the heck I was. I wasn’t a star. I wasn’t a celebrity. I wasn’t someone famous. I was just another person, among the billions of others out there.”  And he gives readers four specific guidelines that are truly spot on.  A great essay. 

----- 

Copyright August, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.
    
    
   

Day #202 - Live life completely from moment to moment.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"My candle burns at both its ends;
It will not last the night;
But of, my foes, and oh, my friends---
It gives a lovely light." ---Edna St. Vincent Millay
      

Day #202 - Live life completely from moment to moment.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

New Videos - Combine a Baby Memory Scrapbook and Post-It Notes, plus "Family Members as Role Models..." Essay Preview

And Then Some Publishing News
----

This week we have two new videos that explain what you can do with "Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls." The first video describes how you can take Post-it® Picture Paper and easily print out a picture of your special delivery, then add your photo to your baby memory book.

In the second video author Lynne Hall and illustrator Anthony Weaver explain and answer questions about their book, "Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls." They answer questions about the inspiration of the book, how the baby memories are set up, how we arrived at our title, what Special Delivery covers plus plenty of examples... And Then Some!

How-to combine Special Delivery Baby Book plus "Post-It" picture paper - A perfect combination




Special Delivery Baby Memory Book Explained by Author Lynne Hall and Illustrator Anthony Weaver




Do you have any questions about Special Delivery: A Baby Memory Scrapbook for Boys or Girls? Please ask...

Get your Special Delivery NOW: ProductsThatPamper.com

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “Family members as role models: The first school for young children."  Valuing children as human beings, revealing consistency between what you do and what you expect children to do, creating a positive and supportive home atmosphere, accentuating the positive, and modeling and explaining effective, expected behaviors, are just some of the ways adults can influence children.  This essay is about the important role family members play in influencing children.   

Family members as role models: The first school for young children
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
There is no doubt that parents are a child’s first teachers and role models.  Usually, too, children are more affected by what their parents do than by what their parents say.  They learn how to behave by seeing how their mothers and fathers behave, and they follow their example.  It is like a computer’s default pattern.  That is, when given no specific instructions on how the computer is supposed to deal with a situation, it falls back on the programming it has stored in its memory, and it uses the instructions in that programming.


And Then Some Works!

The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible

Book Club... And Then Some!





The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible         
by John Geiger



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
There are 24 pages of notes in support of this 297-page book; however, as one reviewer noted, “I’ve never read a book that gave the source but ignored adding page numbers.  It’s a basic tradition of scholarship.  Give exact details so readers can confirm the source.  Readers who want to verify a quote from ‘Varieties of Religious Experience,’ for example, might need an hour or more to find the context; a considerate scholar will give the page and so guide readers in an instant.” 

Now, you have to understand as you begin reading these awesome, awe-inspiring stories, that even when people demonstrate a sheer determination to endure in life-and-death circumstances, whether it is the author’s interpretation or that of the survivor, the interpretation will be that “a faith in one’s ultimate survival, seen in so many of the cases in this book, is the power of the savior.”  I have always wondered why it is that people who begin with faith and pray mightily for their own survival in such circumstances end up dying?  We hear that faith creates survivors, but just as likely in life-and-death circumstances, faith can result in death.  Aren’t the odds 50-50 anyway?  And if the odds are 50-50 (do we have any proof otherwise?), then what is the true value of prayer?  Does it make you feel better?  More confident?  More secure?  More assured?  More courageous?  Or, does it simply buoy the spirits with hope and inspiration?  I’m not denying its value, but it doesn’t change the odds.

Whether you are a believer or not, the stories collected by Geiger are amazing.  For example, he begins with a story of a man who was trapped in the south tower of the World Trade Center on the morning of the 9/11 attacks who followed a “voice” and a “presence” who led him through smoke and fire to safety.  He was the last person to get out alive on that day.  (My assumption, of course, is that all of the others who did not get out alive were either those of no faith, little faith, or not the right faith.)

One reviewer of the book wrote, “The author doesn’t make any assertions as to what the third man actually might be, but after doing an in-depth study of other literature . . . and doing the practice of listening to the ‘still small voice,’ I now know that this is none other than our divine higher self—the god of us—in action . . . It is omniscient and will manifest itself whenever our normal human nature gets out of the way.”  For many, “normal human nature”—and the knowledge of science—will always interfere.  But that doesn’t change the odds in any way.

There is no doubt that “the book reads like a collection of anecdotes,” as one reviewer noted, and it can become tiring.  Nonetheless, that does not deny the impact of the stories.  This is an entertaining collection by a talented writer, and if you can be (or are) moved by messages of hope, then this is a great selection.


-----

This book is available from Amazon.com: The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A college student goes to the school therapist.  During the
session, the therapist asks, "How is your sex life?"

The college student replies, "I have a lot of issues with sex."

The therapist asks again, "What kind of issues?"

The college student again replies, "Oh, mostly Hustler and Penthouse."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care

In my more than thirty years of college teaching, one underlying philosophy has guided both my teaching and writing.  That philosophy is that people want to improve their lives—communicate better, of course, but do better, act with higher quality, strive harder, and live a more valuable, desirable, and suitable life.  It was this philosophy that made me want to enter the classroom, accept the opportunity to write a textbook, choose to lecture, advise and counsel students, and go above and beyond what was expected of me as a professional. 

There were times that I became skeptical that the philosophy was wrong.  For example, I met people who were only willing to give half-an-effort to a project, I would serve on a committee only to find that I was the only one willing to work, or I encountered students taking courses for a “pass” instead of a grade so they only had to exert a minimal amount of time and effort.  When I was a student I (tongue-in-cheek) celebrated those around me who chose not to give their “all” with a flippant remark: “Well, that’s one more person with whom I don’t have to compete.”  Because their philosophy wasn’t my own (and there were always more of them than people like myself), I always assumed that I was the exception, not them. 

As a teacher I made a vow with myself that I would not let those students who did not want to commit themselves to my courses drag me or my standards down.  I chose, instead, to direct my attention and focus to those who wanted to excel.  If you want to be outstanding, then I am here to help you; if you want to be mediocre or “just average,” then you will need to find a way to help yourself. 

This approach to education—attend to and focus on those who want to excel—faced a great deal of student complaint and criticism when I directed a basic, required, speech-communication class.  Why?  Because many students believed that a basic, required, speech-communication course should—by both its definition and nature—be a “blow off,” “Mickey Mouse,” easy grade.  In the course, they found a director (me!) who had high standards supported by a number of exercises, activities, and assignments that not just required work, but were evaluated by well-designed, stringent, detailed, and explicitly explained criteria.  Students, in all cases, knew exactly the criteria they would be evaluated on before undertaking any activity. 

Now, underlying or buttressing my approach to the basic speech-communication course was a belief that effective communication would help students improve their lives.  If they took the course seriously, there was a good chance that they would find benefits in all their thoughts and actions—as well as in their other classes, in their daily interactions with others, in their relationships, in any job they pursued, and, obviously, in their communication-related activities (i.e., small-group discussions and public speaking). 

Despite the way I conducted my courses, and despite the basic philosophies I believed in that guided my behavior, I may have over estimated my audience.  How did I arrive at this conclusion?  I discovered it when reading a book, The Healthy Guide to Unhealthy Living: How to Survive Your Bad Habits  (Simon & Schuster, 2006), by Dr. David J. Clayton.  Clayton is a medical doctor who is a graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.  He has an undergraduate degree in chemical biology with honors from Stevens Institute of Technology.  He trained in internal medicine at Boston University and the Scripps Clinic and Research Institute in La Jolla, California. 

Clayton begins the introduction to his book with this comment: “Despite all the self-help books out there on living a healthy life, many of my patients don’t want to know how to live a healthy life—they want to know how to live their unhealthy lives better.”  In the very next paragraph he writes, “They don’t want to stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs, or having casual sex with the other sleep-deprived professionals they meet at parties.  They want to know how to do these things without killing themselves or permanently damaging their health.  They want to know how to lose weight fast for a wedding, or whether a drug test will show last week’s joint.  They want to know how to stay awake at the office when they haven’t slept well the night before (p. 1).” 

Using an analogy to Clayton’s conclusion, it may be that students don’t want to be more effective communicators.  Maybe they don’t even want to be better educated.  Maybe they simply want a college degree, and they are willing to do what is necessary to acquire the degree.  “Put up the requirement—the hurdle—and we’ll find a way to deal with it,” some students may be saying.    It is similar to those who take courses “pass” so they can complete them with minimum time and effort.  Perhaps college itself has become like those courses taken for a “pass”—what is the fastest, easiest, and most task efficient way I can get a degree and get on with my life? 

I think Clayton has defined a problem that explains a number of different problems.  For example, cheating and dishonesty may occur because all those who cheat and reveal dishonesty see is the final outcome, and the end justifies the means.  It may explain obesity and other hedonistic pleasures: “You do what feels good, and you deal with extraordinary circumstances as they occur.”  It may explain, too, ignorance.  Being informed takes time and effort—pursuing ideas in any kind of organized, systematic, rigorous fashion is an excessive and inordinate demand.  “I’d rather be ignorant,” people say, “because knowing means responsibility.” 

Clayton could just as easily have started his book saying, “People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life.”  Most people believe as they do because their parents believed that way, and it requires no thinking on their own to change or deviate.  Most people don’t think beyond the obvious because it requires energy, and they have never been trained to really think.  Most people watch the no-brainer, lackluster, uninspired, dull, and unimaginative entertainment provided on television or the big screen because of their own slovenly inertia.  They become immersed in video games, text messaging, chat rooms, e-mail messaging, Internet surfing and other mindless pursuits to fill their boring, nothing lives.  People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care. 

----- 

“Breaking Bad Habits: Do You Really Want Change?” is an essay by Christopher George at the website ByRegion.net   His opening paragraph reads like this: “As a hypnotherapist, I work with many people trying to break a habit that they've had for years and some, even decades. As I tell my clients during the first session - in order to change a habit, you first must understand it.”  George discusses two specific steps that must be completed to acquire permanent change

 Oh, I know this website, choicesforteens , is especially designed for teenagers, but the essay, “Why some people can’t break bad habits,” is not only short, but it gets right to the point.  A fast, quick (but solid) read. 

----- 

Copyright August, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

   

Day #201 - Be a friend to others.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job."  ---Laurence J. Peter

Day #201 - Be a friend to others.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

William Shakespeare Almost and the Thursday Essay Preview

And Then Some Publishing News
-----

Last week we worked on updating ProductsThatPamper.com. This website is devoted to Lynne Hall's handmade photo albums for many different occasions and Special Delivery: A baby memory book for girls or boys. The website isn't quite complete, but what we've produced looks a lot better than the previous effort. We will be adding more videos explaining more about what you can do with Special Delivery. If you have any questions about Lynne's book, leave a comment below and we'll cover the answer in the upcoming video. Check out Lynne's Special Delivery at ProductsThatPamper.com.

It's time for William Shakespeare!

Our new videos series is Who Wrote Shakespeare, Part 1 by Edgar E. Willis. Edgar explains in this introduction that throughout the world William Shakespeare's works have received more translations than any other work except the Bible. The towering reputation is based on two narrative poems, Venus and Adonis and The rape of Lucrece, 154 sonnets that are unsurpassed in their craftsmanship, and some 37 plays. The author told wonderful stories that created characters of such depth and richness that they exist in our minds as real people.  He wrote passage after passage of such transcendent brilliance that absolutely takes your breath away. When you read one of these passages as Edgar has on many occasions, and thought, "it couldn't possibly have been said better." After centuries, the question of whether William Shakespeare actually wrote these works is still being debated? Edgar asks, "Who wrote Shakespeare?" He helps you decide for yourself.   

[Video goes here] OOPS! Not yet... we will post another blog post with, Who wrote William Shakespeare, by Edgar E. Willis.

See more videos with Edgar E. Willis at EdgarEWillis.com

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, “People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care."  Most people watch the no-brainer, lackluster, uninspired, dull, and unimaginative entertainment provided on television or the big screen because of their own slovenly inertia.  They become immersed in video games, text messaging, chat rooms, e-mail messaging, Internet surfing and other mindless pursuits to fill their boring, nothing lives.  People don’t want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life—and they don’t care. 

People don't want to know how to live a responsible, accountable, mature life---and they don't care."
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
Despite the way I conducted my courses, and despite the basic philosophies I believed in that guided my behavior, I may have over estimated my audience.  How did I arrive at this conclusion?  I discovered it when reading a book, The Healthy Guide to Unhealthy Living: How to Survive Your Bad Habits (Simon & Schuster, 2006), by Dr. David J. Clayton.  Clayton is a medical doctor who is a graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.  He has an undergraduate degree in chemical biology with honors from Stevens Institute of Technology.  He trained in internal medicine at Boston University and the Scripps Clinic and Research Institute in La Jolla, California.

---

And Then Some Works!

How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times

Book Club... And Then Some!





How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times      
by James Wesley Rawles



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
This 316-page paperback is truly a survival guide that offers readers a list of survival equipment necessary, how to find a survival retreat, find water, store food, acquire fuel and power your home, use a garden and nourish livestock, acquire medical supplies and the knowledge to use them, monitor and use communications equipment, own a home security system and learn self-defense, possess and use firearms, use vehicles and which ones are best, invest, barter and maintain a home-based business.  There is truly a great deal to be learned from this book.

Although it is true that regarding disasters, one size doesn’t fit all, and there are certainly a large number of different kinds of preparations that can be made, depending on the kind and length of the disaster as well as the location and societal issue involved.  The point Rawles makes is an important one—preparing ahead for disaster costs very little, but it can save your life.  It’s a little like buying insurance.

If nothing else, this book will get you thinking about things that may never have occurred to you.  Some of the ideas may seem unrealistic (buying a hybrid car, a diesel pickup, a motorcycle or moped, as well as an electric ATV and a tractor), the idea is simply to get ready before something bad happens.

Although I am unlikely to follow very much of his advice, I found the book practical, useful, and worth reading.  To have it in your library for possible use when the time comes may be a great idea (or as a reference to use periodically), but your library may disappear along with the disaster and render the book meaningless (or lost) just when needed the most.

Nonetheless, the book is, as Eric M. Bessette, of Tobyhanna, PA, said in his review of the book, “Well thought out, well written, and well planned.  In the easy to read instructions, the author teaches you everything from water purification to food storage preparation.”

-----


This book is available from Amazon.com: How to Survive the End of the World as we Know It: Tactics, Techniques, and Technologies for Uncertain Times