She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...""
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2
From Day #45 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II