LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father..."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...""

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #45 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first two paragraphs of Thursday's essay, "Bar Harbor, Maine,'" read as follows:

We left Sunset Point Campground (Harrington, Maine) at 10:20 a.m. bound for Hadley Point Campground just outside Bar Harbor.  It was only 56.9 miles and took 1 hour and 20 minutes.  We were towing our fifth wheel, and as soon as we had paid for two nights ($67.41) and set up camp, we left for the town of Bar Harbor.
    
Our stop in Bar Harbor followed our 14-day trip around the Canadian side of Lake Superior, and it was only our second day back in the United States.
   
Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

It is hard to believe it was once home to the enormous Rodick House, expanded in 1881 to include 400 rooms with a dining room that would seat 1,000 people.  It was Bar Harbor's largest hotel at that time and dominated the town for two decades.  What a delightful location. 

And Then Some News

The new news for 2013 is the publication by And Then Some Publishing LLC of Edgar E. Willis's new book of fiction: Moss on the Ivory Tower: A Novel of Mystery and Intrigue (2013). The book is available at Amazon.com. If you want to read an excellent book that is superbly written and one that will grasp and hold your attention throughout the book, this is an excellent choice.

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Live with Passion,'" reads as follows:

As a professor of speech communication I lectured to thousands of students during my 22 years at Bowling Green State University — over 1,000 per term in a basic speech course and close to 300 per term in a 300-level interpersonal-communication course.  In some cases the terms were semesters, and in others the terms were trimesters.   I was often asked, “How do you do it?”  And the best, most concise, accurate answer was always, “passion” — strong emotion.  

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

But it is not really an accident (chance) at all; it happens because I am prepared, and preparation in any field, discipline, domain, occupation, area, branch, or sphere is the key.  You don’t prepare because you know what the future holds, you prepare to lay the foundation for a productive and active life!

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A woman, shopping for Thanksgiving dinner, was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket.

She could not find one she felt was big enough for the special Thanksgiving dinner.

A clerk came buy to stock the bins and she asked “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The clerk responded “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #127 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Perfectly Equipped,'" reads as follows:

T.S. Eliot wrote, “When a poet's mind is perfectly equipped for its work, it is constantly amalgamating disparate experiences."  That is precisely the point of this essay.  I could end the essay here, but it would be far too short to qualify for one of my essays.  
    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

But it is not really an accident (chance) at all; it happens because I am prepared, and preparation in any field, discipline, domain, occupation, area, branch, or sphere is the key.  You don’t prepare because you know what the future holds, you prepare to lay the foundation for a productive and active life!

  


And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

What’s the definition of a minor second?
Two piccolos playing in unison.

What’s the definition of perfect pitch in a flute?
When you toss it in the trash and don’t hit the rim.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The piano player does it with his left hand.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines for that now.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #124 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Forgiveness Forces You to Grow Beyond What You Were,'" reads as follows:

A young lady in my interpersonal communication class asked for my advice about trying to find out who her real father was.  She felt betrayed by him from childhood when she learned she was adopted, and she wanted to find out who could deceive, desert, and disappoint at such an intense and personal level.  I remember my advice to her as if it were yesterday.  

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Bernard Meltzer said, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future.”  While unforgiveness makes you smaller, forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.      



And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Why did the chicken wear red suspenders? In case there was a fire across the road.


 

Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to spell “straight,” little Johnny did so without error.

“Bravo,” said the teacher, “now, what does it mean?”

“Without water in it.”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #123 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Reflected Appraisals,'" reads as follows:

“I think that I have never seen a man as well-defined as he,” is an adaptation of a line written by the poet (Alfred) Joyce Kilmer, from his poem, “Trees” (1913), “I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree.”  With my adaptation of Kilmer’s line, I am referring to my 98-year-old father-in-law, Edgar E. Willis; however, I admit, that at 98 most people are well defined.
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

In all these cases, the reflected appraisals have taught me what I do not want to be and what I do not want to do.  Not to be totally negative, Edgar reads, watches sports, is aware, alert, and mentally active, and he has an incredible memory.  Even though most of what I have observed, as noted in this essay, are negative traits I want to avoid, they make me a stronger person by underscoring and firming-up the positive traits I have in place.  Reflected appraisals have the potential for making you a stronger person with more clearly defined characteristics.


And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day . . .
                         30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men . . .

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #117 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "I'm Unique,'" reads as follows:

One time it was a short article I read, another time it was a place I visited, and yet another time it was music I was listening to.  The inspiration for my essays comes from so many different directions, and, in many cases, I’m not always certain exactly what or from where it originated.  That’s the nature of my mind.  It’s as if I am saying, “So many ideas, so little time!”


    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last two paragraphs of the essay

Finally, she says, “go ahead and enjoy the thinking process.”
   
I love her last idea, of course.  As I said earlier in this essay, I am a thinker (and fortunately, too, a doer!).  And if this essay helps you de-construct your whole process of inspiration, perhaps, it has made a contribution.  Maybe you just need to stop and meta-observe (examine your inside activities by taking a position outside yourself!).  This, too, can be a delightful exercise — maybe even one that will prove how unique you are!



And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A man and a parrot sit next to each other in a plane. The service in the plane is really bad, the man hasn’t had a drink for hours and he’s starting to dehydrate. The parrot on the other hand is getting drink after drink by the harrowed cabin crew. Each time the parrot orders a drink it does so with a lot of cursing and shouting. The man decides to follow the same tactic and starts shouting: “he b*tch get me a whiskey!”. To his surprise he gets his whiskey and follows through with the same tactic. Soon, both man and parrot outdo each other in shouting and insults until the cabin crew has had enough. They grab the man and parrot and throw them out of the plane. Now both of them are plummeting towards the ground below when the parrot says to the man: “boy, for someone who can’t fly you sure do curse a lot”.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #116 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, ". . . To the Beat of a Different Drummer,'" reads as follows:

At the website Yahoo!Answers, an unknown respondent wrote the following in response to this prompt: “Henry David Thoreau said.....march to the beat of a different drummer....?”  “In the conclusion to 'Walden,' Thoreau writes, "If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away." He meant,” said this respondent, “that one should do things in one's own way regardless of societal norms and expectations.”
    

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Some of the items discussed in this essay may require giant leaps, and to accomplish and develop these skills requires baby steps.  Begin in small ways, and you are likely to make large gains.  Be patient with yourself, however, as you grow and change in positive ways.   Thoreau had it right.  To march to the beat of a different drummer, Thoreau said, “Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away."

And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

WHO’S GUILTY HERE?…A wife is dreaming, wakes up and shouts “Quick…my husband’s home!” Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window.

I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say, “You’re next.” … So I started doing the same to them at funerals!

Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until they get married?
Dad: that’s true in every country, son.

A blonde just texted me and asked “what does idk stand for?
I said “I don’t know.”
She said “omg! nobody does!”

Fact of Life. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.

A single spelling mistake that caused a divorce: A man went to Amsterdam and sent his wife a message “having the most amazing time here, wish you were her!”
 
A man comes home and shouts, honey pack your bags I won the LOTTERY. She screams oh my god, what should I pack? He says everything you got to go!”

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #115 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Not Your Daddy's Retirement,'" reads as follows:

What prompted this essay was a “Saturday Essay” written by Dr. David Andersen for The (Toledo) Blade (March 19, 2005), entitled, “Retirement’s gift is the chance to blaze new trail.”  When I first read this essay, I was just interested in another person’s point of view.  I was closing in on my first ten years of retirement, and I found his perspective interesting but much different from my own.  Although Andersen closed the door on one “life,” he left the door wide open for a new one—“Looking out over what once seemed an abyss, I now begin to see instead, uncharted terrain.  The journey isn’t over.  My destination is still out there. . . .”  

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

“In conclusion,” Barnett writes in a summary to her essay that could just as well have been written for this essay, “you can take control over your time and get more done than you ever wanted. Although this requires careful planning and learning, you can accomplish all of your goals by not being a perfectionist, delegating to others, setting long and short term goals, planning and combining activities, prioritizing, getting organized, developing a realistic plan, keeping track of your time, and creating a personal mission statement.”

And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting time.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

If at first you don't succeed, see whether the loser gets anything.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #112 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Travel (Introduction to the book Exotic Destinations and More,'" reads as follows:

When I lived in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh), I mentioned to friends my plan to travel south to Chittagong, Bangladesh, and the woman to whom I was speaking said, “I would never go there, it’s too dirty.”  (Many cities in that part of the world are notorious for sacred cows walking free through the streets, pickpockets and beggars,  trash and litter.)  When I showed a department-store clerk a 20-yuan note, (worth $3.05 U.S.) and told her I had just returned from Beijing, Southeast Asia, she said, “Oh, I would never want to go there! . . . But I’m not much of a traveler anyway.”  This same trip came up in a discussion with close friends, and they said, “We would never do something so risky.”

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

This book (Exotic destinations and More) represents years and years of traveling.  Nobody could accomplish what is represented here in just one or two years.  We try now to make two major trips each year — one in the spring and one in the fall.  Because we have now seen so much and so many places, we have decided (at least in part) to try to be more selective in the choices we make.  That is, we are now going to visit those places we have enjoyed and would like to either see again or see more of.  But, there will be more essays, no doubt about that — since I have a blog that like an appetite, needs fuel.  I have a mind, too, that needs fuel, and travel experiences are one type of fuel I truly seek and enjoy.  I hope you enjoy these experiences as much as I did — and as much as I liked writing about them, too.

And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

The solemn-faced man entered the diner and took the lunch counter stool next to mine. The smiling waiter greeted the new customer and asked if he'd like the daily special.

"What is it?" queried the unsmiling newcomer.

"Beef tongue sandwich," the waiter replied, still smiling.

With the most disgusted expression on his face imaginable, the man growled, "I wouldn't THINK of eating something that came out of an animal's mouth!"

"Yes, sir," the undaunted waiter said; "Would you like a menu, then?"

To which the finicky guy responded, "Oh, no -- just give me a fried egg sandwich please.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #111 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Exploring Australia,'" reads as follows:

The thoughts about Australia prior to our visit there ranged widely from a country with a primitive road system to an advanced, modern, industrial society.  The reason for this wide range of thoughts (and emotions, too!) is simply that my family had no idea what to expect.  For me, it was a six-month sabbatical, and I had made contact at four educational institutions to teach or lecture.
 

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I delivered several lectures at the University of Western Australia, and our visit to Perth ended our six months in Australia — an interesting, spectacular, and memorable visit.  We did everything we could do within our time limit and budget, and it is a place to which we would gladly return.


And Then Some News

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.

The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are.

Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. An airplane flies because of money. If God had meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money (or, according to Benny Hill, free airline tickets).

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #104 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II