I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say, “You’re next.” … So I started doing the same to them at funerals!
Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until they get married?
Dad: that’s true in every country, son.
A blonde just texted me and asked “what does idk stand for?
I said “I don’t know.”
She said “omg! nobody does!”
Fact of Life. After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.
A single spelling mistake that caused a divorce: A man went to Amsterdam and sent his wife a message “having the most amazing time here, wish you were her!”
A man comes home and shouts, honey pack your bags I won the LOTTERY. She screams oh my god, what should I pack? He says everything you got to go!”
Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2
From Day #115 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
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