LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let
your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?"

"Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?

"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #60 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Be proactive and succeed!

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
   
Whenever I had the opportunity — like when I pulled on the wishbone of a turkey and made a wish or blew out the candles on my birthday cake and made a wish — I would use the opportunity to plan for some future success.  That is, I would make my wishes specific and even place a time frame on them — that is, when I would like the wish to be granted.  I don’t believe in making wishes nor do I ever expect that the wishes I make will come true.  Then why, you might ask, do I waste my time making them?
   
I use strategies designed to motivate me and structure my life.  Whenever I make a wish, I tie the wish into what I am currently working on or what I intend to do next.  My wishes never challenged reality, set unreasonable goals, nor lay outside my skill level and abilities.  It’s a little like providing my to-do-list with a catalyst — an agent designed to speed up my accomplishments.  I have found it to be a fun technique for challenging myself to not just reach my goals but to achieve at a higher level (achievement and then some!), and become a better person.
   
(I have always believed that if indeed there was a fairy-god-mother who granted wishes, I might just as well be on her good side and make wishes she could grant if she could and would grant if she would.  I know it’s pure silliness, but life can’t be all serious without a little fun.  I find little bits of fun when and where I can!  — just little bits!)
   
It is true that how I handle wishes — a very minor activity and occurrence, to be sure — is just one aspect of being proactive.  Hunter Taylor, in an essay, “How to Become Proactive,” at eHow.com writes that "’Proactive’ is defined by Dictionary.com as ‘serving to prepare for, intervene in or control an expected occurrence or situation, esp. a negative or difficult one; anticipatory.’”
   
For me, the key to becoming more proactive comes down to one thing: Plan ahead.  I know that’s easier said than done, but once the attitude shift is made (“I need to plan ahead”), the action will follow. 
   
The best way to plan ahead is to be prepared.  Build all the resources you can in all the ways you can at all the times and places you can.  The more tools (resources) in your tool box, the more likely you can respond appropriately in any situation you find yourself.  Knowing that you can respond makes it easier to plan ahead because you know exactly what resources you will need and how you will use them.
   
At eZineArticles.com, in her essay, “Tips to Become Proactive to Make Better Decisions in Life,” Michelle L Gallagher offers the best, compact, set of suggestions I have discovered: “Tip #1 - Remain Proactive in Tackling Challenges. . . .Tip #2 - Be a Problem-Solver, Not a Problem-Avoider. . . . Tip #3 - Manage Your Time and Resources Efficiently. . . . Tip #4 - Break Your Larger Goals Down into Daily Objectives. . . . Tip #5 - Spend Time Reflecting on Your Personal Life.”  How you have responded in the past is a good indicator for how you will respond in the future; thus, reflecting gives you time to think about how you would like to respond and how you need to change to accomplish it.
   
One of the biggest challenges in my life happened after six years of teaching at the University of Massachusetts.  In moving from there to Bowling Green State University, I was put in charge of a large, basic, speech-communication course.  I lectured to 300 to 350 students (the same lecture 5 times a week) for fifteen weeks.  To assist in and support my presentations (and to help students take notes), I used trays that contained 50 slides each.  This was before Power Point Presentations that could be run from a laptop computer situated on a speaker’s lectern.
   
For every single presentation, without fail, I would go to the “control room” behind the lecture hall — behind the rear-projection screen where the slides were to be displayed.  This was a “security” check for me to make certain the correct tray of slides was set up, that the projection equipment was working, that someone would be “on call” if there was a problem, and to let them (the control-room personnel) know that I was depending on them for all the technical apparatus, lighting, lavalier microphone (sound system), and quiet (I wanted to hear no noise of any kind from the control room while I was lecturing).
   
I made this trip — this check-up — five times a week, fifteen weeks a term, for twenty-two years.  Did I ever encounter any problems?  Of course.  Most of them were minor and could be solved or addressed during my pre-lecture visits.
   
This is what proactive is all about.  No matter how professional I was; no matter how many years I lectured; no matter how many times a week I performed, I routinely checked to assure quality control from those on whom I depended.  I knew it, and my control-room personnel knew it, and I seldom encountered any problems — none that were major.
   
In my life I have discovered there is a close relationship between being positive and being proactive.  That is, possessing a positive, optimistic, frame of mind, contributes significantly to my ability, need, and willingness to be proactive.  At SelfGrowth.com, Albert Garoli, in an essay, “Become Positive, Become Proactive,” offers readers four strategies for developing a positive outlook: 1) Change the way you think so you can change the way you feel. . . . 2) In the moments when you can’t help being angry or irritated, take a deep breath. . . . 3) Get back to the basics and stop worrying about all those extras (like the fancy car, the brand-name clothes, your social status, etc.). . . . 4) Our daily issues and concerns seem miniscule when there is a bigger picture in the way. Think about a great project to do, a mission, something bigger than yourself or your family. Think about something that can impact a greater number of people for an extended period of time.”  The thought is that if you become more positive, chances are you’ll become more proactive.
   
Being proactive has not only assisted me in my professional life, but it has helped as well in decision making, problem solving, and dealing with most daily issues and routines.  To plan ahead has wonderful results in relieving stress, saving time, and getting more accomplished.  Being proactive is an essential skill for anyone who is effective or who wants to be successful.
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At StevePavlina.com, Pavlina writes a great essay, “Be Proactive,” in which he contrasts proactivity and reactivity.  There are many good ideas in this piece.

At About.com — Small Business: Canada, Susan Ward, in her essay,“5 Keys to Leadership for Small Business: Even Parties of One Need a Leader,” writes about the importance of proactivity for leaders.  Her five keys are: 1) A leader plans, 2) A leader has a vision. 3) A leader shares her vision,4) A leader takes charge.  5) A leader leads by example.
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Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.




   
   

Make commitments.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."  ---Vince Lombardi

Day #316 - Make commitments.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #316.  

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Be proactive and succeed!

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Be Proactive and Succeed, " reads as follows:

Whenever I had the opportunity — like when I pulled on the wishbone of a turkey and made a wish or blew out the candles on my birthday cake and made a wish — I would use the opportunity to plan for some future success.  That is, I would make my wishes specific and even place a time frame on them — that is, when I would like the wish to be granted.  I don’t believe in making wishes nor do I ever expect that the wishes I make will come true.  Then why, you might ask, do I waste my time making them?
   

Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Being proactive has not only assisted me in my professional life, but it has helped as well in decision making, problem solving, and dealing with most daily issues and routines.  To plan ahead has wonderful results in relieving stress, saving time, and getting more accomplished.  Being proactive is an essential skill for anyone who is effective or who wants to be successful.





And Then Some News

Stress less: The new science that shows women how to rejuvenate the body and mind

Stress less: The new science that shows women how to rejuvenate the body and mind
By Thea Singer

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II

Let me explain what led me to review this book, and you will see, if it hasn’t been obvious previously, the qualities—for me—that make a great book.  First, I looked the author’s credentials: 30 years of writing about health and science, writer for The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, and The Boston Herald.  Contributor to Natural Health and The Nation, among others.

For the second thing that led me to review this book, I looked at her “Selected Bibliography,” which occupies 44 pages of the book and which is filled with high quality books, sophisticated journals (e.g., Scientific American, Journal of Health and Social Behavior, The Journals of Gerontology, Tends in Cognitive Sciences, Human Ecology, Psychology and Aging, among many other outstanding resources).  Each source was presented with impeccable accuracy.  This book truly represents outstanding research.

Singer’s writing skill, too, is succinct, contagious, engaging, and easy to read and comprehend.  This is not an erudite scientific treatise but a warm, friendly book written to and for readers.  Her examples are excellent and well described, her targeted tests at the beginning of each chapter in the book (8 total) are scientifically proven measures of assessment and offer ways at the end of each one to calculate and interpret your score.

This is, indeed, the kind of book to which I am attracted.  It offers valuable, scientific, information in a digestible manner.  There is some technical material, to be sure, as the following sentence will attest:

        “What the two discovered was the enzyme telomerase, which synthesizes telomeric DNA, dabbing additional repeats of the TTAGGG sequence onto shortening telomere ends, making up for the ones that get lost during division or otherwise . . .” (p. 45).

She goes on, however, to fully explain such information and even drives her points home in a climatic fashion: “Do not be surprised if someday soon your doctor orders a telomere-length or telomerase-level test along with—or perhaps even in place of—the current blood tests run for your yearly physical” (p. 45).

Singer’s chapter titles, “The Old Science of Stress,” “The New Science of Stress,” “Your Brain on Stress,” “Stress and Diet,” “Stress and Exercise,” “Stress and the Mind,” “Stress and Social Support,” and “Stress and Sleep,” reveal the comprehensiveness of this book as well as the practical applications she discusses.

Even though Singer wrote this book especially for women, most of the topic apply to men as well since it all relates to having a healthy lifestyle and doing those things that will make and keep you healthy.

This is an outstanding book—well-research, well-written, and well-presented.  You cannot help but be affected in some way by her examples, her knowledge, and her information.  Five stars out of five!

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A young man was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor, a man came running and shouted: “Laloo, your daughter Sweety is badly injured in an accident.”

Not knowing what to do, the young man jumped from his office window in panic to go as-early-as-possible.

While coming down when he was near tenth floor, he remembered he had no daughter named Sweety.

When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Laloo.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #57 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Transitions

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
    
It’s been happening a lot lately.  Life transitions are being thrust before me, and I’ve heard that it gets worse as you get older.  There have been a number of deaths, some people have entered “care facilities,” and there has been a wedding (one of my two sons, and the last of my four children, got married).
    
More than five years ago now, I read Gail Sheehy’s Passages (Ballantine Books, 2006), and I have been dramatically affected by it ever since.  I never wrote a review of it (I wasn’t writing book reviews at the time), but the first review I found by Bertz “Happier” from Hawaii, at Amazon.com captured my thoughts exactly.  This is just the very first part of the review: “Reading Passages by Gail Sheehy was a turning point in my life. I especially remember, ‘The most important words in midlife are —  Let Go. Let it happen to you. Let it happen to your partner. Let the feelings. Let the changes.’ ‘You can't take everything with you when you leave on the midlife journey.’ ‘You are moving out of roles and into the self.’”
    
It’s not that I have been bereft of significant transitions in my own life nor that I did not know how to deal with them.  It’s is simply — like many aspects of life — when they happen to you, you think you are the Lone Ranger.  That is, you think you are the only one experiencing them and life crises only happen to you.  Be quiet and move on with your life!  Sheehy’s book is an eye opener only because she serves as a guide, mentor, and significant confidant.
    
One major transition for me was from being single to being married.  When I left for Indiana University to study for my Ph.D., my future wife and I talked about the transition.  We decided that for the move we would either be married, or we would split up.  There was going to be no long-distance relationship.  This was an important transition and contributed significantly to my successful work on my Ph.D.  I had no choice except to want to do well, not just for myself, but now for a wife and a future family.  Time to get serious.  It was as if “life” was shouting: “Grow up now!”  
    
When I moved from Indiana University to the University of Massachusetts, from graduate teaching assistant to instructor then professor, it was a major transition.  From being a student to operating as a full-time college teacher can rattle your sensibilities.  For twenty years I had only known how to “be a student,” and suddenly, within a four-month time span, I was on the other side solely responsible for my own students.  Sure, being a graduate teaching assistant helped ease the transition, introduced me to college teaching, and set a valuable course of action; however, anyone can train, guide, and instruct, but they can’t get into your head and make the transition for you.
    
There was never a time during my professional life that I wasn’t writing.  I published at least five scholarly articles from my dissertation alone — a rather remarkable outcome, I was told.  Those successes led to many others (about 96 published articles), but none of my professional writing came close to the transition from unpublished book author to published book author.
    
I haven’t ever thought about why this was such a worthy transition for me until now.  I think there are a number of reasons for it.  First, I used between 50 and 100 textbooks (maybe more!) from the beginning of my formal (in class) educational career to when I completed my Ph.D.  This fact, alone, put textbook writers on an especially high pedestal.  That is because I always took my education seriously, read the books assigned, and performed well above average.
    
The second reason the transition from article writer to textbook author was significant was the praise I heard for textbook authors.  The books we used were often subjects of conversation, the theories espoused were regularly bases for argument, and once I achieved the status of “professor,” books and authors were often compared and discussed.  I enjoyed the thought of being the subject of such discussions.
    
When I interviewed for a position at Bowling Green State University (BGSU) (Spring, 1973), my first textbook (Speech/Communication (Van Nostrand, 1974), co-authored with Saundra Hybels) was just published, and I made it clear in the interview that I wanted to adopt the book for the basic speech course I was being asked to direct.  There wasn’t a sign of dissension among those interviewing me — and I specifically looked for it.  Actually, in retrospect, having a newly published textbook that satisfied exactly, the format of the course I was being asked to direct, increased my credibility among those faculty members.  Not one of them had ever published a textbook.
    
Because the course I directed was large, and this was my first of a number of textbooks I authored, you would have a difficult time imagining what a thrill it was to see students on campus carrying around my textbook.  I was a published, college-textbook author!  Quite a transition.  
    
As an aside here, it is that same textbook, with a different title, that is going into its 10th edition (Communicating Effectively, McGraw-Hill, 2012) — a continuous publishing record (counting Speech/Communication, 1974, as the starting point), with this one book, alone, of 38 years!
    
There have been other transitions, too.  Like from having no children to being a parent.  Then, the transition from being a parent of children to being a parent of teenagers!  And the transition I like least of all is from “adult” to “wise old man” — especially when the emphasis is on “old.”
    
What I have enjoyed, too (for the most part), is watching our grown children and their children go through life’s transitions.  This time, however, you watch with a different perspective since you have done it yourself, and since you are older and wiser now.  At least, older!
    
Life goes on.  Likewise, transitions go on, too.  What has been especially fun for me is that I have had the opportunity not just to observe all of this, but I have had the thrill of documenting and writing about it.  Probably the most important idea in the life transitioning that takes place is being flexible and adaptable, because often transitions cause change — if not physically, at least attitudinally.  They cannot be avoided; attitude shifts take place, and life goes on.  I think Gail Sheehy had it right.  Maybe the best thing we can do is just to Let Go!
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At Faye Schindelka’s web site, Wisdom-of-Spirit.com, her essay, “Adopting a positive attitude towards life shifts our personal vibration,” is right on target. The following comment she makes is really the central idea of her essay: “By slowing down our pace and savoring each small part of our daily routine, we add a richness to our experience. Best of all, we experience more joy throughout the course of our day.”

At Ezine Articles, the essay, “Negotiating difficult life transitions,” by Garrett Coan, offers 14 different and easy-to-apply coping skills.  Coan ends his very worthwhile essay saying: “Times of life transitions offer you the chance to explore what your ideal life would look like. When things are in disarray, you can reflect on the hopes and dreams you once had but perhaps forgot about. Take this time to write about them in a journal or talk about them with a trusted friend or therapist. Now is a good time to take advantage of the fork in the road.”
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Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.
    
    
    
    
    
    
   

Love what you do.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom"You only get out of it what you put into it.  If you are a sheep in this world, you're not going to get much out of it."  ---Greg Norman
Day #315 - Love what you do.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #315.  

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Transitions, " reads as follows:

It’s been happening a lot lately.  Life transitions are being thrust before me, and I’ve heard that it gets worse as you get older.  There have been a number of deaths, some people have entered “care facilities,” and there has been a wedding (one of my two sons, and the last of my four children, got married).


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Life goes on.  Likewise, transitions go on, too.  What has been especially fun for me is that I have had the opportunity not just to observe all of this, but I have had the thrill of documenting and writing about it.  Probably the most important idea in the life transitioning that takes place is being flexible and adaptable, because often transitions cause change — if not physically, at least attitudinally.  They cannot be avoided; attitude shifts take place, and life goes on.  I think Gail Sheehy had it right.  Maybe the best thing we can do is just to Let Go!





And Then Some News

Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being

Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being
By Martin E. P. Seligman

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II

For this book, Seligman has 49 pages of notes, a 28-page index, and a 22-page appendix (“Signature Strengths Test”).  Out of a 349-page book, that leaves 241 pages of text material.

The book is divided into two parts, “A New Positive Psychology,” and “The Ways to Flourish,” and each part has five chapters.  The first five chapters cover, 1) What is well-being?, 2) Creating your happiness, 3) The dirty little secret of drugs and therapy, 4) Teaching well-being, and 5) Positive education: Teaching well-being to young people.  The final five chapters cover 6) GRIT, Character and Achievement, 7) Army Strong: Comprehensive soldier fitness, 8) Turning trauma into growth, 9) Positive physical health, and 10) The politics and economics of well-being.

Seligman begins by saying, “This book will help you flourish” (p. 1), and to support his point throughout the book, he uses “careful science: statistical tests, validated questionnaires, thoroughly research exercises, and large, representative samples” (p. 1).  “In contrast to pop psychology and the bulk of self-improvement,” he continues, “my writings are believable because of the underlying science” (p. 1).

Those readers who are looking for a quick recipe that will help them flourish may be disappointed.  It is a similar disappointment to those readers who read Edgar Willis’s How to be funny on purpose (And Then Some, 2005) looking for a quick formula for being funny.  Both books have extraordinary depth and breadth in addition to offering what readers may be seeking.

I write all of the above information so you, the reader, will know what you are getting when you purchase this book.  What I have not as yet said, however, is that Seligman is a terrific writer.  You can easily and quickly become engrossed with the detailed stories he writes.  If you are at all interested in the influence of editors on a writer’s works or how a research scientist changes positions, his Chapter 1, “What is Well-Being” provides details.

Regarding his change of positions, he writes about Senia Maymin, a student in his master’s level “Introduction to Positive Psychology” class, who challenged his point of view.  He writes, “Beginning in that October class in Huntsman Hall, I changed my mind about what positive psychology is.  I also changed my mind about what the elements of positive psychology are and what the goal of positive psychology should be” (p. 12).

Now, as a lay reader with little background in psychology, all of this information about his theory and how his theory changed may be boring.  I, however, found it riveting.  That may be because I took a number of psychology classes, that I use many of the psychological-research findings in my writings, or, too, I am a college-textbook writer who is constantly faced (by my textbook reviewers) with challenges to the ideas I write about.  It is just such challenges that cause me to re-think and even alter what I write.

Those of you who have a life characterized by well-being or who have read a great deal of well-being literature (there are numerous possible sources in the “Notes” section of this book), may not find a whole lot of information, suggestions, or well-being prompts that are new here—although reminders and reinforcements aren’t bad!  I found the exercises interesting and fun.

I found Seligman’s explanations about his research engaging.  Most readers may, too, find his descriptions lengthy and a bit tedious; that is why it can be stated clearly—just as Seligman warned in Chapter 1—this is not a pop psych book.  But, if you enjoy a deep-reading experience, if you find pleasure in looking behind the scenes, and if you relish the musings of a research scientist, you will love this book.  Just look at this one sentence alone: “Psychotherapy and drugs as they now are used are half baked” (p. 53).  What he argues here is that they may remove the disabling conditions of life, but they seldom build the enabling conditions of life (p. 53).

This is truly a book for serious readers.  The way, for example, he analyzes the philosophy and approach of Wittgenstein, Popper, and Penn (pages 56-62), discusses the ingredients of applied positive psychology (pages 66-69), the Penn Resilency Program (PRP) (pp. 81-85), what intelligence is (pp. 106-114), GRIT–or the combination of very high persistence and high passion for an objective--- (pages 115-124), are excellent instances of when seriousness is necessary.  There are many such examples.

There is no doubt that serious readers will find this book interesting—even captivating (from his heavy use of engaging examples alone).  It makes a valuable contribution and may well serve as another benchmark (in addition to his book Authentic Happiness, 2002), in the pursuit of those precise ingredients that allow us to understand happiness and well-being.

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

The minister asked if anyone had been married for fifty years. Ralph stood up. "I'll celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary this summer," he announced. After a round of applause, the minister asked Ralph to share some insight into successful married life. Ralph replied, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, and took her traveling on special occasions." The minister asked, "Like where, Ralph?" "Well, for our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing." The minister responded enthusiastically, "What a terrific example you are, Ralph. And what do you have planned for your 50th anniversary?" "I'm going back to Beijing to get her!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #53 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Life's second choices

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
    
One of my jobs as a college academic adviser was to answer student questions, ease their transition from high school to college, and offer suggestions regarding course work.  Inevitably through my conversations, I would discover that they had come to this college instead of their first choice because of cost (most often), academic ineligibility (they didn’t have the grades), distance (the desired college was too far away), or parental guidance (their parents preferred this choice rather than their first choice).  How I addressed their concern about coming to a college that was not their first choice, offers some general parameters regarding how everyone must deal with life’s second choices.
    
My first response was always the same.  How you deal with all areas of life, no matter what it is — or first, second, third, or fourth choices! — comes down to one, singular issue.  Life is what you make of it!  It depends entirely on your own perception, point of view, and  impression.  If you let this choice gnaw away at you, erode your spirit, or destroy your enthusiasm and motivation to learn, then there is only one person to blame — yourself!
    
Human beings, by natural instinct, want to find someone else to blame for their misfortunes.  At Sixwise.com, in the essay there that has no author nor date, titled, “How to Take Responsibility & Stop Blaming Others (Even if Others are to Blame),” there is a comment about blaming others: “You know you are not accepting personal responsibility if you do the opposite: blame others for your problems, life situation, hardships, character flaws, and just about everything and anything else. Rather than accepting the ‘blame’ or responsibility for how your life is, you make excuses. Everything and anybody is to blame -- except yourself.”
    
Let me add something to my comment about perception — life is what you make it.  I don’t know whether or not you have discovered it, but all your learning thus far has been up to you.  That is, it isn’t parents, teachers, rabbis, ministers or priests who teach you.  In the end, you are the teacher.  The teacher is inside you; thus, for any learning to occur, it is up to you.  You make the decision, you either absorb or reject the information, and you either decide to use it and learn from it, or discard it as unusable.
    
There is something else you need to know regarding settling for second choices.  In the end — that is, when you graduate from college — few people are concerned about the institution from which you graduated.  A college education, too, is what you make of it.  

Some people may graduate from an outstanding, well-known, prestigious school, and do nothing with their education.  Just the same, some people can graduate from the tiniest college that few people have ever heard about, and go on and do great things.  Once again, it is all on an individual’s shoulders.  Sure, some people have more connections, resources, or opportunities than others, but the choice of a college seldom is the deciding factor regarding what happens to you after college, how successful you are, or how far you go in life.  That, instead, is based on individual responsibility.
    
What I have discovered regarding a college education, is that there are “great” teachers, wonderful motivators, and inspiring mentors at all levels of education, in all institutions large and small.  I went to Indiana University because I had heard about the reputation of one of these “great” teachers (Dr. Robert Gunderson), and I would make exactly the same recommendation to all college students: Talk to other students and faculty members, listen to what they have to say, and pursue “great” instructors based on their reputation or what others say about them.  Often, college advisers can assist in these decisions.
    
There is yet another useful piece of information students need to hear.  Colleges are not just about what happens in their classrooms.  The social networks that take place on campus are important, and the students you get to know can be valuable both within and after a higher-education experience.  Also, because colleges are not just about what happens in the classrooms, students who really want to learn, who consider knowledge acquisition an important part of their college experience, and want to get as much as possible from the time they spend there, have many opportunities to add to their college life.  
    
What can college students do to add to their college experience?  First there are always additional readings.  Second, there are a large number of experts who can give advice and counsel.  Third, there are numerous extracurricular opportunities.  Fourth, there are useful work experiences that can dovetail with, complement, and add to any in-class learning that takes place.  Fifth, think about student exchanges at either the national or international levels.  Students who fail to add to their in-class experiences, fail to take advantage of all that colleges have to offer.
    
No matter the college, no matter the location, and no matter the size, students who go to college should take advantage of all possible opportunities to broaden their understandings, add to their resume, and strengthen their foundation.  This can happen anywhere, anyplace, and with no consideration whether their college was first, second, third, or even their fourth choice.
    
Another piece of advice I like to give students has to do with flexibility.  Those who come in with a specific, well-defined career choice may be restricting their alternatives and opportunities.  I found that during the first couple of years of college, having flexibility actually adds to students’ options and choices.  That is, few students who come to college for the first time have experienced a broad range of courses like they get in any beginning set of requirements.  If they take these with an open-mind, allow receptivity to new ideas and suggestions, and are willing to change, they are far more likely to find a subject or discipline that is best matched to their personality and interests.
    
Life’s second choices may, at least at first, make a person despondent or sad; but such despondency or sadness should be short lived.  Why?  Life is short and offers us few “do-overs.”  Rather than waste the emotional energy that despondency or sadness require — or any energy devoted to negative emotions — they need to get up, brush themselves off, and begin on a course of action designed to take their best advantage of the hand that has been delivered them.  In that way they are not just making positive use of their time and energy, but they are capitalizing on where they are in life and helping themselves move forward toward greater success and opportunity.
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At eHow, the essay, “How to Make the Most Out of Your College Education,” (no author and no date) has 15 suggestions for making the most of your college education.  They are practical and useful.  I thought the comments that followed the brief essay were insightful and interesting.

At BrianKim.net, the essay by Brian Kim, “How to Get the Most Out of College,” (July 26, 2006) includes and discusses ten great suggestions.

Tania K. Cowling has a terrific essay, “How to make the most of your college experience,” at Family TLC, in which she has nine suggestions.  Cowling begins her essay saying: “Why do some students have such a wonderful experience in college and others don¡t? Chances are, it¡s not because students picked the right or the wrong college but because they didn¡t make the most of the opportunities available to them at the college they did choose.”
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Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.

Improve on each moment you live.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom"For what do you want to be remembered?  Are you contributing to that goal today?  Begin by making small daily contributions to your legacy, and you will be certain that your legacy will truly be the endowment you want to leave for others."  ---Richard L. Weaver II

Day #314 - Improve on each moment you life.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #314.  

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Life's Second Choices, " reads as follows:

One of my jobs as a college academic adviser was to answer student questions, ease their transition from high school to college, and offer suggestions regarding course work.  Inevitably through my conversations, I would discover that they had come to this college instead of their first choice because of cost (most often), academic ineligibility (they didn’t have the grades), distance (the desired college was too far away), or parental guidance (their parents preferred this choice rather than their first choice).  How I addressed their concern about coming to a college that was not their first choice, offers some general parameters regarding how everyone must deal with life’s second choices.
    


Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

Life’s second choices may, at least at first, make a person despondent or sad; but such despondency or sadness should be short lived.  Why?  Life is short and offers us few “do-overs.”  Rather than waste the emotional energy that despondency or sadness require — or any energy devoted to negative emotions — they need to get up, brush themselves off, and begin on a course of action designed to take their best advantage of the hand that has been delivered them.  In that way they are not just making positive use of their time and energy, but they are capitalizing on where they are in life and helping themselves move forward toward greater success and opportunity.          




And Then Some News

Retirement breakthrough: The safe, secure way to guaranteed income you can't outlive---in any economy

Retirement breakthrough: The safe, secure way to guaranteed income you can't outlive---in any economy
By Dick Duff

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II

This is a terrific book.

It is true that it has a direct application to where I currently am in life, and relevancy is important when reviewing books, but Duff really speaks directly to readers with thorough explanations, explicit details, easy-to-understand examples, and material that has to impact almost everyone in life — those just graduating from college, beginning a professional career, nearing retirement, of already retired.

Now, I have to admit, I am not an economist, a CPA, a financial advisor, a banker, or anyone else in possession of information like this.  What that means is simple: Much of this information was new to me.  I’ve done little investigation on my own, and I have dumped my SEP (self-employed pension) into one account, and I let my investment advisor guide me in what to do every time money becomes available.  That is precisely why I found much of this information eye-opening and worthwhile.  I plan to make use of Duff’s suggestions at my earliest convenience (whenever that occurs!).

Before embarking on this book, let me advise readers with one insight: There are lots and lots and lots of numbers here.  There were times when I had a hard time following all of Duff’s mathematics; however, with greater concentration, and given more time, I am certain I can master his information.  It really isn’t that complex, it just requires some time to allow it all to digest.

What I especially enjoyed was Duff’s frankness and honesty.  He wasn’t afraid to tell you what not to do, which were bad moves to make, or unwise decisions and investments.

Duff’s forty-five years of professional experience as a financial and estate planner becomes clear early in the book.  I think, too, that if readers are interested in taking control of their retirement income, that is, that their retirement income comes on time all the time, then this book is a “must read.”

You will not only learn how much retirement income you are going to need — the formula is provided and sample calculations are offered — but you will learn how to withdraw money from life insurance policies, use annuities to optimize retirement income, make maximum use of assets you already have, as well as shelter your income from unwanted claimants and unnecessary taxes.  Duff’s ideas are solid, explained effectively, and what we all need.

If it isn’t obvious already, I highly recommend this book.  It is well-written.  There are moments of humor, and the author’s personality comes across in a delightful, quiet manner.  He includes additional resources as well as a state-by-state asset protection guide.  And the book is comprehensive and thorough.  Having never read any other finance book or related material, I have nothing with which to compare this book, but I think this one may become a benchmark in this field.

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

A man who was grocery shopping noticed a little old lady following him around. When he stopped, she stopped. She stared at him.

Finally, at the checkout, he was in line right behind her. She turned around and said to him, "I hope I didn't make you uneasy. It's just that you look so much like my late son..."

He answered, "Oh, that's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out, 'Goodbye, Mom!' as I leave the store, it would make me so happy."

Then she checked out and, as she left the store, the man played along. "Goodbye, Mom!" he said.

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him and he was pleased that, through a simple act, he could bring joy into someone else's life.

"That'll be $121.85," said the clerk. "What? No way! Look, I've only got nine items." The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your mother said you'd pay for her groceries, too!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #51 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II

Aesthetics: An ordered, well-organized, disciplined life

by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

As I was sitting having breakfast before dawn one morning (on many mornings!), I enjoyed subdued lighting, gentle, comforting music, and a clean, neat relaxing dining room ambiance.  Suddenly, as I enjoyed this incredibly satisfying environment, I realized that it was aesthetics — characterized by an appreciation of beauty or good taste — that was engaging my senses and providing the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.

At the very top of Abraham Maslow’s original five-stage model of his Hierarchy of Needs (1943-1954) was self-actualization.  Below that was esteem, preceded by love/belonging, safety, and physiological needs.  Never, in his models did the term aesthetics appear.  (N.B. “Although Maslow referred to additional aspects of motivation, 'Cognitive' and 'Aesthetic,' he did not include them as levels or stages within his own expression of the Hierarchy of Needs.” —Source: Chapman, Allen. (n.d.). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Businessballs.com Retrieved January 30, 2011.
    
In my ordering of needs I would place aesthetic needs at the pinnacle on Maslow’s Hierarchy — above self-actualization needs.  For the most part, it is only after physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization needs are fulfilled (whether on purpose or by accident) that people can turn their attention to aesthetic needs — a search for beauty symmetry and closure.  I would suggest that most people do not reach this stage; however, I’m certain that those who do attain this (as I believe I have, not to be immodest), they are likely to find it desirable, pleasing, and satisfying.  My opening paragraph of this essay demonstrates why, but let me offer several other examples to make my point.
    
Often, I think it takes a meta-perspective to realize or observe aesthetics in our lives.  That is, we must stand outside ourselves as objective observers of our own life to actually see and appreciate it.  That is because so often we take it for granted, fail to notice or observe it, or simply disregard it as unimportant.  Indifference is, of course, likely if you consider that most of our life has been consumed (to the degree that it has) with the lower needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy.  It is possible that those who have not struggled as much are likely to be in the best position to appreciate aesthetics when that time comes in our lives.
    
Let me give some examples of where (not how) aesthetics can show up in our lives.  
    
As a preface to what I am going to write here, I have to admit one caveat.  I am a perfectionist, and there are many times when I regret it (especially when it costs me extra time to achieve the level of perfection I demand of myself!), but the difference between aesthetics and perfectionism is sometimes hard to discern.
    
I want order in my life, and when I see order, it is pleasing.  I was recently leafing through the pictures in the book, Ansel Adams at 100 (Linen Slipcase edition, August 2, 2001).  What I noticed in Adams’ pictures was the balance, perspective, and detail.  He had the ability to frame a picture to bring out features not seen by the untrained eye.  This is what pleased my aesthetic sense.
    
I am fulfilled in the same manner when I listen to great music.  Often, when I eat I have music playing in the background.  It doesn’t have to be Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven.  I find delightful and satisfying artistry in van Cliburn’s piano playing, Enya’s vocal recordings, and even in the works of James Galway and George Winston.  I don’t have to be a critic, offer in-depth analysis, or even understand all of the nuances and intricacies of the music (or artwork, as the case may be) to appreciate it.  I like it because it pleases my senses and, thus, my aesthetic needs.
    
When I read a good book, I get a rich sense of aesthetics.  When an author can put words to ideas and construct an outstanding, well-supported narrative, for me there can be no better aesthetic.  It is precisely these books that win my approval.  It is why, too, that I read so widely (non-fiction only), but it is a continuous search for aesthetic satisfaction.  (I post my book reviews every Monday on my blog, and there are more than 100 of my reviews posted at Amazon.com.)
    
Nature, just as you might think, offers so many opportunities to appease my aesthetic needs.  I have traveled around the world and, honestly, the possibilities for aesthetic satisfaction are endless.  We went on a waterfall tour in upstate Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan one year, and the variety of waterfalls we saw was staggering — all different sizes and shapes, with quantities of water that varied from dribbles to gushers, and at surroundings that varied from rural and secluded (where we had to hike into a forest to find the falls) to urban (where the falls were located within a city and surrounded by buildings, bridges, or other structures.
    
We have walked in forests, jungles, and through wetlands. We have been in banana plantations, nutmeg-tree plots, and taro fields.  We have visited botanical gardens in Hawaii, on some Caribbean islands, and in Ann Arbor and Toledo.  The views have been astounding, the sights staggering, and the variety remarkable.
    
When we were in Shanghai where the shapes and colors of the buildings were unique, just as the architecture in Columbus, Indiana, catches the eye.  Despite the filth and pollution in downtown Saigon (Ho Chi Ming City), the spaghetti snarls of the overhead electrical lines dazzled the imagination.  And, in great contrast to Saigon, the cleanliness and size of he buildings in downtown Singapore is astonishing.
    
One web site that discussed graphic design briefly mentioned aesthetics: “People consider aesthetics as a basic need. They like to work in environments that meet at least basic aesthetic requirements. They dislike ugly environments. As a result, they are more motivated and perform better if their aesthetic needs are met.”
    
I totally agree with this comment, however, I have also discovered that there is surprising beauty in everything with which we have contact.  It may need us to look more closely; it may need us to draw back to see the greater picture.  Once we have satisfied the lower-order needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy, the likelihood that we can see and appreciate the aesthetics in everything we encounter becomes more likely.  And when we get to that point, we get closer to achieving the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.
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At wikiHow, the essay there by Rob S, Ben Rubenstein, and Sondra C, “How to Appreciate Modern American Architecture,” offers instructions that could apply to anything we encounter in life.

In an essay at the eHow web site, “What is aesthetic impotence?” Fraser Sherman writes that Fredrich von Schiller, the aesthetic philosopher, said (and he paraphrases him): “He believed that the growth of our capacity to appreciate beauty was linked with the growth of our dignity and freedom as human beings.”  Sherman’s essay supports the contention in my essay that we begin to appreciate beauty once we feel secure in the lower-order needs of Maslow’s Hierarchy.
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Copyright June, 2012, by And Then Some Publishing L.L.C.



  S

Focus on a positive future.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom"Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly."  ---Robert H. Schuller
Day #313 - Focus on a positive future.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.  This is one of four motivational quotations for Day #313.  

Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some News

Thursday's Essay Preview

The first paragraph of Thursday's essay, "Aesthetics --- A well ordered, well-organized, disciplined life, " reads as follows:

As I was sitting having breakfast before dawn one morning (on many mornings!), I enjoyed subdued lighting, gentle, comforting music, and a clean, neat relaxing dining room ambiance.  Suddenly, as I enjoyed this incredibly satisfying environment, I realized that it was aesthetics — characterized by an appreciation of beauty or good taste — that was engaging my senses and providing the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.



Thursday's Essay Excerpt - from the last paragraph of the essay

I totally agree with this comment, however, I have also discovered that there is surprising beauty in everything with which we have contact.  It may need us to look more closely; it may need us to draw back to see the greater picture.  Once we have satisfied the lower-order needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy, the likelihood that we can see and appreciate the aesthetics in everything we encounter becomes more likely.  And when we get to that point, we get closer to achieving the balance that an ordered, well-organized, disciplined life can bring.             




And Then Some News

The Moral Landscape: How Science Can Determine Human Values

The Moral Landscape: How Science Can Determine Human Values
By Sam Harris

Book review by Richard L. Weaver II

There are several things you need to know about this book before picking it up.  First, the book “is based, in part, on the dissertation [Harris] wrote for [his] Ph.D. in neuroscience at the University of California, Los Angeles” (p. 193).  That suggests themall-font “References.”  This is fairly typical (perhaps a bit more than normal for most) for a dissertation.  Also, there are forty pages of small-font “Notes” as well.  In other words, this is a highly researched, highly documented work.  Harris is well-grounded in both research and theory.  That leaves (out of 291 pages total) only 191 pages of text (argument).

The second thing you need to know is that there are forty pages of sophistication of the material, approach, language, and argument.

The third thing you need to know before picking up this book is that, in addition to Harris’s dissertation committee at UCLA, “several outside scholars and scientists reviewed early drafts of this book.  Paul Churchland, Daniel Dennett, Owen Flanagan, and Steven Pinter read the text, in whole or in part, and offered extremely helpful notes” (p. 194).  Also, a few sections of the book were read by an even larger circle of scientists and writers: including Jerry Coyne, Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Owen Flanagan, Anthony Grayling, Christopher Hitchens, and Steven Pinker” (p. 194).  Why is this important?  It adds credibility to Harris’s argument, and, as Harris himself notes, “. . . with friends like these, it has become increasingly difficult to say something stupid” (p. 194).

R. Dale of California gave the book two stars out of five at Amazon.com, and his main point is well taken: “It's not a compelling read for someone of my intellect and I have a Masters degree. It may be great for a PHD candidate in philosophy but not for the other 99% of us.”  I found the book challenging, and following the development of Harris’s argument is formidable but stimulating.  Although it may take effort to stay with it, the effort has a wonderful and rewarding result — acceptance of the daring but brilliant and provocative thesis that religions should NOThave a monopoly on morality.  Remember, he wrote his dissertation for a group of neuroscientists at UCLA, and prior to obtaining his Ph.D., Harris obtained a degree in philosophy as well. So, you could easily ask, what would you expect from a philosophical neuroscientist?

I am one convinced by Harris’s position and argument (that science can be used to explain morality), but what I liked most about this book is watching such a gifted person present his ideas and develop his position.  If you like academese, if you like reading a scholar present sophisticated ideas, and if you like reading provocative (mind-stretching) material, this is an ideal choice.  This is not an arm- or rocking-chair book, it is instead a straight-back, hard-seat, old, rough, oak, schoolroom chair.

I truly believe that the arguments are cogent, well-reasoned, and well-clarified by Harris.  They are there and plain to see if everyone (or anyone?) can be open-minded enough to understand, and these ideas are hard to refute.  Also, I found the latest neurological research in human behavior interesting and informative, and I firmly believe, based on the well-reasoned and well-developed argument Harris presents, that such research, and its findings, are clearly superior to religious dogma as a basis for moral clarity.  Of course, for me, that doesn’t require a high level of sophistication to prove.  For me, it is clear at face value, but Harris does such a brilliant job of presenting the case.

This book is revolutionary — groundbreaking --- and it has the true potential of changing the moral landscape, if it hasn’t done so already.  If nothing else, it will challenge you to think, but if it has the impact Harris hopes, it will change the way you think.  He says, “This book was written in the hope that as science develops, we will recognize its applications to the most pressing questions of human existence.  For nearly a century, the moral relativism of science has given faith-based religion — that great engine of ignorance and bigotry — a nearly uncontested claim to being the only universal framework for moral wisdom. . . . few people seem to recognize the dangers posed by thinking that there are no true answers to moral questions” (p.191).  The last line of the book reads, “And I am convinced that merely admitting this [that there is a way to know about meaning, morality, and values in principle] will transform the way we think about human happiness and the public good” (p. 191).

LAUGH . . . And Then Some!

Three kids are sitting around and one kid asks, "What's the earliest thing you can remember?"

The first kid says, "I remember these two hands reaching in, grabbing my head, bri Three nging me out of this dark place into the light, turning me upside down, and spanking my bottom!"

The second kid says, "I remember being in this dark, warm place, floating, having a grand old time!"

The third kid says, "I can remember going to the prom with my father and leaving with my mother!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet, Volume 2

From Day #50 in a second complete manuscript compiled by Richard L. Weaver II