Friday Humor

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
~ George Brett

3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson