New SMOERs Video and Women are Superior Essay Preview

And Then Some Publishing News


We've been talking about the SMOERs book and now the video interview is here! Watch the video and find the book at SMOERs.com.


Author Richard L. Weaver II talks about his book of quotations, "SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement, Rules".  Discover this tasty treat of quotations based from his delicious book. From the famous, the infamous, and quotes you have never heard before. Listen as Dr. Weaver shares quotes from the book and answers questions about the inspiration for his books, the setup, plus the reasoning behind the concept. Think of the delicious S'Mores... just spelled funny: S M O E R s





Watch the video and find the book at SMOERs.com. 

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "Women have superior leadership traits."  Although I cannot make the complete case that Dee Dee Myers makes in her book, Why women should rule the world (HarperCollins, 2008), and although her conclusion resides in the title of her book, in this essay I am interested in the research that supports her conclusion.   

Women have superior leadership traits
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:

Whether liked or not, stereotypical males are “aggressive, ambitious, assertive, forceful, [and] self-confident” whereas stereotypical females are “helpful, kind, friendly, sympathetic, and affectionate” (p. 149).  Perhaps the key now is to redefine leadership and redefine power.  In the information age in which we are living, fortunately, that is already happening. 

And Then Some Works!

The male factor: The unwritten rules, misperceptions, and secret beliefs of men in the workplace

Book Club... And Then Some!

The male factor: The unwritten rules, misperceptions, and secret beliefs of men in the workplace   
        

by Shaunti Feldhahn



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

The bottom line of Feldhahn’s 308-page book is: be aware of your workplace behavior and how it might be perceived.  

Feldhahn is a bestselling author (her books have sold two million copies and have been translated into fifteen different languages copies).  Two of her other books are called For Women Only and For Men Only. She is a nationally syndicated columnist and holds a master’s degree in public policy from Harvard University (from the back flyleaf).

Since I am not a woman in the workplace, I wanted to see how women perceive Feldhahn’s book.  Here is what I came up with:

V. Blankenship writes, “As a woman living in a house full of men, husband and 5 sons, and just entering the workforce for the first time in 20 years, I was completely enthralled by this book. Shaunti Feldhahn definitely gets into the male psyche and reveals things that all women need to know, especially women in the workforce today. Its an eye opening, thought provoking read that really makes you think twice about the male/female relationship in the public work place today.”

Kimberly Martinez, of Seattle, WA, writes the following: “This book is not just terrific, it was incredibly needed. Most of us want to be the best we can be at what God has called us to - sometimes we need new tools. Many years ago, there was a book - Mars and Venus in the Workplace. It kind of did what this book does, but it was written by a man.

“Shaunti has done so much empirical research in order to put this book together. If you ever wanted to know what men really think, this book will tell you. Better than that, this book will give you the tools to help men hear what you are really trying to say without any male/female cultural noise messing up the communication loop. “

Connie Y. Mishali, writes, “Shaunti Feldhahn has done a lot of research to get inside the male psyche to figure out what men think and feel in the workplace, what unwritten codes of conduct they live by, how they perceive women in general and their actions in the workplace, and what women can and should do in order to succeed in their careers.

“The information Shaunti has compiled is sometimes surprising, sometimes almost unbelievable, and always helpful! This book is a must-read for every career or business-minded woman. Incidentally, its insights will also help you with your marriage and friendships because you will have a greater understanding of what men experience at work.”

J. Guyer writes, “This is a valuable book for woman in the workplace. Based on surveys and interviews with men about the unwritten rules and expectations that rule the business world, it gives women a tool to better navigate what can seem like a foreign culture. The insights learned from this book can also be eye opening and helpful for women in general in understanding how men think and view women and the world. The Christian version offers a chapter on applying these findings with a Biblical world view toward interacting with others.”

Most of the Amazon.com reviews were favorable.  A number of reviewers pointed out the length of the book (said it could be shorter), and some noted, too, that it read like a textbook and was difficult to get through.  I found it a bit long, but the research used is interesting, the insights were useful (especially for those new in the business world or for those planning to go into the business world), and the viewpoints are valuable for both males and females.  I became a bit tired of reading this book, but that is why I chose to quote so many reviews above — since I am not in business, have never been in business, and have no plans to go into business.  Those facts can make a difference in how easy this book is to navigate.
 
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This book is available from Amazon.com: The male factor: The unwritten rules, misperceptions, and secret beliefs of men in the workplace. 

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible.  He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away.  "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said.

"I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.

"Really," she said, softening.  "How many models have there been?"

"Four," he replied.  "A jug, two apples, and a vase."

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Celebrating daily life

Richard Bach is quoted as saying, “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you're alive, it isn't.”  “To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else,” said Emily Dickinson.  Grandma Moses said, “Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.”  “To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach.,“ said Havelock Ellis.  Gioacchino Rossini said, “Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life, and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne.  Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool.”   

I find these quotations inspiring, and I end this essay with my own.  But, I must add at this point—an unabashedly blatant commercial—that if you enjoy great quotations, please see my complete collection of over 1600 motivational quotations: SMOERs—Self Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules: Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living (And Then Some Publishing, 2009).  You won’t be disappointed. 

Most often when we think of celebrating, it is just at those special times (e.g., birthdays, Christmas, New Years, athletic victories, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, etc.), and we seldom believe (or think) about celebrating on a daily basis.  What do most of us have to be thankful for?  A brief list may stimulate your thoughts: parents, family, children, health, abundance of resources, liberty and freedom, friends and neighbors, independence, self-sufficiency, and life itself, to name a few. 

So often we overlook what we have to celebrate.  At the web site, The List, it says, “We live in a country where we are free. We are free to participate in the political process without fear. We are free to practice our religion, whatever it may be.  Every child has the opportunity to go to school. And although the economy is bad, we are still living a life that many people in this world can only dream of. We are blessed.”  For most people in this country, this is what we have to celebrate, and, too, is exactly what we overlook. 

At the web site, nwfdailynews.com  and at the end of his essay, “During the holidays, be thankful for what we have,” Buddy Duncan writes: “Each night as I tuck my little girl in I am thankful for the soft cozy bed, the electricity to heat our home, the job and the health with which I can afford the electricity and other needs and comforts. I believe we have so much to be thankful for it is a waste of precious time bemoaning our lacks.” 

We don’t need to wait for tomorrow and the success, affluence, wealth, or riches it may bring. All you need to do is survey your life for your own personal stories, experiences, and joys—the way your life has purpose, the needs that have been satisfied, and the beauties of nature that surround you.  You have a wealth of wonderful stories, experiences, and joys—even if there may be no major successes, affluence, wealth, or riches in your life thus far. 

At the USA Today web site, Gladys Edmunds has written an essay, “Entrepreneurial Tightrope: Things to be thankful for,” in which she lists things anyone in business has to be thankful for (I have condensed her thoughts and used them verbatim here without quotation marks): 1) Be eternally grateful for having a sense of purpose, the guiding light that keeps you motivated to keep on keeping on no matter how rough the road.  2) Be thankful you know that an easy way to reach your larger goals is to set the smaller goals that you can more easily see.  3) Be thankful for keeping negative thoughts out of the way.  4) Be thankful for all of the wonderful books, CDs and articles that help you to keep a positive, upbeat attitude toward life and living and being in business.  5) Be thankful for recognizing that self-confidence like self-esteem is not a steady state; it comes and goes depending on the situation you find yourself in.  6) Be thankful that you recognize the tell-tale signs of imbalance—lack of energy, irritability, over—or under—eating to name a few—and you have scheduled quiet time for yourself to evaluate your situation and implemented the necessary things to get your life back in order.   

There are three more items in the list.  7) Be thankful for the ability to bring people into your life that will lead you to success: mentors, advocates, a coach when needed, good employees and of course the necessary subcontractors to help you have time to yourself.  8) Be thankful you recognize that success depends on consistent learning. And, when you stop learning, you stop living.  9) Be thankful that when opportunities show up you recognize them and seize the opportunity to your advantage. More important, be thankful that even when opportunity seems to have hidden itself from you, you have the good sense to use your creativity to create an opportunity for yourself. 

I have often advocated the need for quiet time, and I have often written about the time I have to myself when I am jogging early in the morning.  These are not just some of the most creative times I experience, but they are times, too, to celebrate what I have learned, appreciate my place in life, and to plan for the day, next week, or even next year.  To carve out just a few moments each day to clear our minds and to think about all that we have to be thankful for are moments of quiet celebration—quiet joy.  Celebration need not be loud, boisterous, animated, exuberant, and noisy.  It is just as purposeful and meaningful when it is restrained, low-key, peaceful—and private. 

And I want to close this essay on celebrating daily life with my own quotation: The beauty of celebrating everyday life is the joy of having a carnival of the spirit, a festival for our frame of mind, and a tribute to our way of thinking that boosts our morale and provides an ongoing force that drives our daily espirit de corps.  Celebrating our daily life may not seem that important; however, it gives each of us a chance to show our appreciation for those things that really matter to us, and daily celebrations remind us of how fortunate, privileged, or simply lucky we are. 

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At PR Log: Free Press Release, the essay is entitled, “Give Thanks! The Gratitude Collection Celebrates I Am So Thankful Month,” and the point of the essay is given in the subheading: “The Gratitude Collection is celebrating National I Am So Thankful Month by offering suggestions on how you can show your gratitude and thankfulness to others.”  There are three great suggestions that allow us all to celebrate everyday thankfulness. 

Marelisa Fabrega, on her Abundance Blog, has an essay, “50 Ways to Celebrate Life Every Day,” in which she wants readers to “establish a goal to celebrate life in some way, however small, every day. Below,” she writes, “you will find a list of 50 simple joys to help remind you to slow down, celebrate life, and enjoy the moment!”  Some are small and trivial, others aren’t, but they are fun suggestions designed for everyday celebrations. 

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Copyright November, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #224 - Think before you speak.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts.  I wonder why we think faster than we speak.  Probably so we can think twice."  --Bill Watterson

Day #224 - Think before you speak.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

S'Mores and Celebrating Daily Life Preview

And Then Some Publishing News

How do you turn a unsavory situation and make it tasty again? Sometimes you have to throw it all away and start again. That is not the situation we are in. Richard L. Weaver II and Anthony Weaver filmed numerous videos on Tuesday, November 16, 2010 and they turned out fantastic! We were hoping to release the first video today, however due to technical difficulties the first release has been delayed. 


The first video we are releasing is all about S'Mores... wait... no SMOERs. What is SMOERs? It's a tasty book quotes compiled by Richard L. Weaver II. In the video he explains the inspiration for the book... and then some!

We will continue to try and figure out what the problem is and will let you know when the video is available in the next couple of days.

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "Celebrating daily life."  Most often when we think of celebrating, it is just at those special times (e.g., birthdays, Christmas, New Years, athletic victories, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, etc.), and we seldom believe (or think) about celebrating on a daily basis.  What do most of us have to be thankful for?  A brief list may stimulate your thoughts: parents, family, children, health, abundance of resources, liberty and freedom, friends and neighbors, independence, self-sufficiency, and life itself, to name a few.

Celebrating daily life
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:

And I want to close this essay on celebrating daily life with my own quotation: The beauty of celebrating everyday life is the joy of having a carnival of the spirit, a festival for our frame of mind, and a tribute to our way of thinking that boosts our morale and provides an ongoing force that drives our daily espirit de corps.  Celebrating our daily life may not seem that important; however, it gives each of us a chance to show our appreciation for those things that really matter to us, and daily celebrations remind us of how fortunate, privileged, or simply lucky we are.

And Then Some Works!

The genius in all of us: Why everything you’ve been told about genetics, talent, and IQ is wrong

Book Club... And Then Some!

The genius in all of us: Why everything you’ve been told about genetics, talent, and IQ is wrong 
        

by David Shenk


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

For a 302-page book, this is an amazingly short one, and here’s why.  The “Sources and Notes, Clarifications and Amplifications” section is 140-pages long!  140 pages!!!  Then there is a 20-page “Bibliography,” and there is no index.  So, the book ends with a 1 1/2-page “Epilogue,” on page 134!  There are ten chapters; thus, average chapter length is about 13 pages.

Despite its brevity, this is an amazingly interesting, very well written, captivating through stories and anecdotes, seemingly accurately explained and described, and thoroughly documented book. 

All those who might be interested in purchasing this book should be advised to read the reviews at Amazon.com.  Todd Stark’s (from Philadelphia, PA), writes (as part of his review): “In deconstructing talent, Shenk leaves no room to think about what little the scandalously politically incorrect Galton, Spearman, and Terman might have somehow gotten right, what stable developmental trajectories genes might actually provide us under a wide range of environments, and what sorts of things the people Shenk cites favorably might actually disagree with him about.”  Be sure to look at Stark’s list of additional readings while you are there. 

Then, there is Kevin Currie-Knight from Newark, Delaware, who writes (as part of his review), “WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! It is true, of course, that studies deal with groups and averages, not individuals and specifics. But, this does not mean that studies can't be generalized, as that is the whole point of studies with controls on variables, sufficient sample sizes, etc.”

M. A. Glenn, of Santa Cruz Mountains, CA, writes: “Shenk's premise is that there are no geniuses, there are no exceptional people, we just have to work at developing the talent that is latent in all of us. He relies on a marginal branch of genetics that holds that genes don't have much to do with our natural endowments. We are all mostly the same and factors other than our genes shape us. Hence, no need to discuss nature vs. nurture because it's all nurture. 

"No doubt, hard work and drive are important, but Shenk never addresses the source of this hard work and drive. Could it be part of one's genetic makeup? No, Shenk is convinced that genes have little to do with talent and achievement. He uses this premise to attack IQ, the Bell Curve, genius, talent, and even Ayn Rand. Incredible! Of course, if there are no exceptions, then we, as individuals, are not only equal under the law, but equal in all ways. The subtext is that individuality and merit are old notions that we must move beyond. How democratic! I hated it at summer camp when everyone was a winner. Competition drives us and pushes us to our inherited limits. 

"Most troubling is the logical inconsistency in Shenk's argument: if genes play little role in achievement, then what about natural selection. His handling of the Kenyan runners is laughable. After centuries of natural selection to run faster, Shenk concludes that we don't know that genes have anything to do with it. Unanswered, of course, is how this idea relates to such hot topics as homosexuality. If this is gene determined,w hy the exception? If this is part of Shenk's theory, then is he really saying that homosexuality is learned? He's stays far away from any unpopular implication of his premise. This is a shallow, PC argument for mediocrity and a not so subtle attack on individual achievement, written by a popularizer with little, if any, education in the subject. 

"If we just work hard enough, and follow Shenk's suggestions, we might become a mid-life Mozart. Wrong. There is greatness and, yes, you have to inherit the basic stuff for greatness, such as long legs for jumping, before you can practice your way to stardom. If Shenk had been born with talent, it would not have taken him three years to write this thin polemic. Footnoted, but, so what? A waste of time.”

Brazen999, from Florida, writes: “This book sells hope to those that don't measure up genetically and those that wish everyone did measure up genetically. The book can be summed up as "You can do it!", said in the style of Rob Schneider. But he makes a whole mess of oxymoronic and contradictory claims to push that message through though.”

R. M. Smith, another reviewer of the book at Amazon.com, writes, “Sometimes journalists can make sense of complex scientific topics and sometimes they can't. Unfortunately, in this book, David Shenk falls into the latter category. "The Genius in All of Us" is another example of the romantic fantasy that is gripping some realms of popular psychology and all of public education at the moment (think No Child Left Behind). Yes, human nature is plastic, but it is not as yielding as Shenk would like us to believe. In the real world, our genomes impose tighter constraints. For instance, I doubt that David Shenk has an IQ of 85 which he has re-worked through 10,000 hours of writing practice culminating in the publication of a book.”

Now, I don’t want to suggest that all the reviews of this book at Amazon.com are negative as the above selections would indicate.  There are a total (at this writing) of 34 reviews with an average customer rating of four stars out of five.  But, what these reviews indicate is significant.  Some of the positive reviews are rather superficial and don’t look below the surface.  I feel, when you read the complete reviews of those who give the book a negative review (and I have been incredibly selective in the portions I have quoted above), they have some serious—and some quite in-depth—concerns.

If you want a quick-read motivational book, this is a good one to choose, after all, David Shenk’s bottom line is a simple one: all people can do better by working harder.  Who can deny that? — scientific evidence or not!
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This book is available from Amazon.com: The genius in all of us: Why everything you’ve been told about genetics, talent, and IQ is wrong.

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered.  "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow!  That's a very expensive car.  What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Take healthy risks for positive rewards

My motto was “Vote for Weaver, he’ll work like a beaver.”  It was a lousy slogan, true, and may have been one of the reasons I failed in my run for student-council president.  Another possible reason for not winning could easily have been that students didn’t want me to be their president!  At the time, I didn’t care the reason.  Of course, I ran against one of the most popular guys in the school and losing was a foregone conclusion (had I really considered it), but I had one heck of a good time making posters and banners, giving speeches, and shaking hands.  I gave it a lot of time and effort. 

At the time I didn’t think of it as a risk, although I stepped far beyond my comfort zone to do it.  Now that I look back, I found the experience to be valuable in both learning and personal growth.  I had never done anything like it before.  From my previous leadership experiences — head of the hall monitors, captain of the junior deputies, leader of my scout troop and my cub scouts as well, president of junior achievement — I realized this experience was just one more on my growth chart.  I really believed I had the interest of students at heart, and there were some changes I wanted to work on during my term — giving students more freedom and responsibility.  Also, I never thought about failure.  Even when I failed, I didn’t look back.  It had no immediate effect on me.  (Long term, it gave me an essay topic some 50 years hence!) 

Until now I haven’t reflected on the whole experience.  By challenging what was, looking to what could be, and having a healthy disregard for the impossible, I truly thought I could make a difference in the students’ world and in that of those people around me.  I thought big.  A risk taker — and I certainly didn’t think of myself as one at the time — challenges his or her comfort zone and becomes comfortable being uncomfortable.  

One of the things about running for student-council president that stands out in my mind is all the preparation that went into it.  I remember, for example, that all my friends who supported me had examined the situation and thought I could win.  We began early, even before my chief competitor (and winner) entered the race.  We knew the risk of losing, however, all of us thought the challenge and the run would be fun — there was really nothing to lose except, perhaps, our pride, but a loss of pride never entered our mind.  We were young; who cared? 

It was the group as a whole that clarified the objectives of the campaign, agreed on the slogan I came up with, evaluated basic approaches we needed to take, and decided on me to spearhead the movement — as the one most willing (or stupid enough!) to take the risk.   We planned the posters, designed banners, prepared small business cards with the slogan to hand out, even decided where we would stand around the school (covering all the exits) to hand out the cards and shake hands.  The strategy was a saturation campaign so everyone would at least know who I was.  Not a great deal of thought was given to campaign promises, the need for change, or any kind of campaign platform, and that, indeed, may have been one of our weaknesses.  These latter three items were to be handled solely in the campaign speech. 

Implementation was simple.  The group (there were about 5-10 of us) worked together on the strategy, and each member of the group was given a job to do with respect to advertising — seeking permission to hang the banner, obtaining janitorial help (a ladder) to hang it, getting the posters and business cards finished and then putting them up and handing them out.  Other members of the group worked on the campaign speech.  All of us looked at the entire experience as an adventure, not as a set of risks.  “Risks” were never a consideration.  To complete the adventure, we all looked forward to the action forthcoming. 

Part of any true risk-taking experience, too, is evaluation.  If you are to learn anything from what has taken place, some assessment must occur.  What did you do that was right or that worked?  Where did the campaign go wrong or what didn’t work?  Where could the entire experience have been improved?  That is, what could you have done better?  What could you have done that you didn’t do?  Overall assessment may be helpful as well.  Given what you know now, how might you approach such a situation differently?  Did you achieve the goals you set for yourself?  What were the obstacles, and how could you overcome them in the future? 

There were several important learnings that emerged from my run for student-council president.  First, and this is supported by research, I never regretted the effort.  A report in the journal Psychological Science reveals that whether you miss achieving a goal by a little or a lot, you won’t lament going after it nearly as much as you think you will.  The failures from risk-taking behavior, for the most part, don’t last long with respect to regret, sorrow, sadness, disappointment, or residual unhappiness. 

The second set of learnings from my run for president is that I still got a great learning experience, I still got the peace of mind that comes from knowing that I tried doing something,
and I still got the knowledge of how to do something.  My mind was now freed up to start working on other things.  As a kid, I was never a slacker; I always had things to do; and I always worked hard at whatever I tried. 

From this experience — and other similar risk-taking adventures — I have some advice for those who want to increase their ability at taking risks.  First, approach any risk with a positive mental attitude and strong positive expectations.  You must slay the dragons of negativity as soon as you notice them creeping in. Take any risk with an intensely strong belief that you will succeed. 

Second, if you approach any risk with a success mindset and the right mental attitude, more often than not you are going to succeed.  You will be amazed at the resources you are able to assemble — your own and those of others — to make success possible. 

Third, if the risk you are planning to take (or are currently engaged in) is not right for you, you will start noticing your intuition giving you certain messages (e.g., warnings, more information, barriers, etc.) about it that will help you make the right decision. 

The important thing to remember when it comes to taking risks is that you live life only once.  Life is too short to be wasted on things you don't want to do or on things that you have done over and over.  That’s how comfort zones develop.  You don't need to live on the sidelines. Trying to achieve new goals, cross fresh barriers, or develop new skills, will broaden your horizons, generate new knowledge, and expand your repertoire of options and alternatives.  With such results there will be no regrets, and you will die knowing that you did the best you could. Start now taking healthy risks.  If you believe you can, you can. 

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Frances Lefkowitz, at wholeliving.com, has an excellent essay entitled, “The importance of taking risks.” At the end of her essay, Lefkowitz discusses “The Rewards of Risk,” and ends her essay saying, “Perhaps the most immediate benefit of risk is that it's simply plain fun. Neuroscientists explain this bliss with biochemistry: New, challenging, and risky activities trigger the release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that's part of the brain's reward system. Call it the ultimate antidote to boredom -- it's the best way I know of to wake up and feel fully and ecstatically alive.”  Lefkowitz also has an essay on “Risk-Taking Tips."


At Accessmy library.com, Mary R. Rolison and Abraham Scherman, have a sophisticated essay entitled, “College student risk-taking from three perspectives.,” that I found both fascinating and enlightening.  Rolison and Scherman stated at the outset, “With so many college students taking risks involving so many negative consequences, it would be beneficial to have one general model or framework from which to understand college student risk-taking behavior,” but three were discussed, and no single unifying theory was proposed in the portion available online.  First, “one theory indicates that individual traits, such as self-esteem, social skills, impulse control, sensation-seeking, and locus of control, may explain risk-taking.”  Second, “problem-behavior theory has been offered as a way to explain risk-taking in adolescents and young adults.  Problem behavior theory looks at risk-taking from a developmental and personal environment interaction perspective.”  Third, “college student risk-taking could also be explained from the decision-making perspective. Furby and Beyth-Marom have proposed that adolescents may not be capable of competent decision-making.” 

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Copyright November, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #223 - Live as an example to those around you.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."  --Mark Twain

Day #223 - Live as an example to those around you.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

And Then Some Book 1 and Taking Healthy Risks Preview

And Then Some Publishing News

Anthony Weaver and Richard L. Weaver II will be shooting new videos this week. Dr. Weaver has authored many books about relationships, motivation, and optimism. Relationship Rules, SMOERs, You Rules, and And Then Some Publishing's first book And Then Some Book 1 all have have something in common. They all need videos to help explain more about each book.

Specifically, And Then Some Book 1 is hard to explain. To start it was their first book. Anthony and Richard L. Weaver II (Dick) didn't know if they were going to be able to produce another one. There were many complications from technology, building the first website, beginning blogs, and then some! From the book conception to the finished product the book took two years to complete. 

When you take the complications into consideration and the wonderment if another book would be produced, everything and the kitchen sink was put into And Then Some Book 1. Containing 50 essays with subjects that include family, humor, education, travel, and more, this book reads sometimes as advice, a little bit of education and learning from personal life experiences, or as a short story about Dick's travels... and then some! 

And Then Some Book 1 covers a wide gambit of essays and is a fun read... and now Anthony and Dick will be shooting a video to better explain this book.


We hope to start releasing the first videos from this shoot by next weeks news, however we're not sure which videos will be released first.


Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:
Thursday’s essay is called, "Take healthy risks for positive rewards."  You have to learn how to take healthy risks. The important thing to remember when it comes to taking risks is that you live life only once.  Life is too short to be wasted on things you don't want to do or on things that you have done over and over.  That’s how comfort zones develop.   

Take healthy risks for positive rewards
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:

There were several important learnings that emerged from my run for student-council president.  First, and this is supported by research, I never regretted the effort.  A report in the journal Psychological Science reveals that whether you miss achieving a goal by a little or a lot, you won’t lament going after it nearly as much as you think you will.  The failures from risk-taking behavior, for the most part, don’t last long with respect to regret, sorrow, sadness, disappointment, or residual unhappiness.

And Then Some Works

The Art of Choosing

Book Club... And Then Some!

The Art of Choosing            

by Sheena Iyengar



Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

Sheena Iyengar is the S.T. Lee Professor of Business at Columbia University.  This is important to know because, at the outset, it reveals the degree of research, citations, and qualifications you will get throughout the book.  Ivengar does not disappoint.

In this 329-page book, there is a 12-page index, 16-page bibliography, 22-page section of notes, and 7 pages of acknowledgments—leaving 268 pages of content.  There are seven chapters plus an epilogue, with chapters averaging about 36 pages in length.  I mention this simply to call to your attention the denseness of this book.  It is full of substance, to say the least, but it is readable and full of interesting stories.

To give you an example of Ivengar’s writing style, I offer this from the, “Past Is Prologue,” opening section of the book:

        “In 1971, my parents emigrated from India to America by way of Canada.  Like so many before them, when they landed on the shores of this new country and a new life, they sought the American Dream.  They soon found out that pursuing it entailed many hardships, but they persevered.  I was born into the dream, and I think I understood it better than my parents did, for I was more fluent in American culture.  In particular, I realized that the shining thing at its center—so bright you could see it even if you, like me, were blind—was choice.
        “My parents had chosen to come to this country, but they had also chosen to hold on to as much of India as possible.  They lived among other Sikhs, followed closely the tenets of their religion, and taught me the value of obedience.  What to eat, wear, study, and later on, where to work and whom to marry—I was to allow these to be determined by the rules of Sikhism and by my family’s wishes. . . “ (p. xi).

And, as useful as her background is when considering how she decided to pursue her study of “choice,” is her description of her book:

        “Each of the following seven chapters will look at choice from a different vantage point and tackle various questions about the way choice affects our lives.  Why is choice powerful, and where does its power come from?  Do we all choose in the same way?  What is the relationship between how we choose and who we are?  Why are we so often disappointed by our choices, and how do we make the most effective use of the tool of choice?  How much control do we really have over our everyday choices?  How do we choose when our options are practically unlimited?  Should we ever let others choose for us, and if yes, who and why?  Whether or not you agfree with my opinions, suggestions, and conclusions—and I’m sure we won’t always see eye to eye—just the process of exploring these questions can help you make more informed decisions” (p. xiii).

I found the book insightful, informative, interesting, and valuable—but it is also very long.  You really must want to know the answers to the questions Iyengar raises and have an overpowering interest in the subject, “choice” because, whether you like it or not, and despite the many wonderful stories she shares, Iyengar is an academic, and she writes like one.

J. Powell, of Brooklyn, New York, writes this as his review of Iyengar’s book at Amazon.com:   “This is a very good book that really requires a lot of introspection, and a high level of reading comprehension.

For myself anyway, this is not light beach reading that you can blow through, but an interesting, deeply reflective tool that will help you understand yourself and others just a little bit better.

The author uses numerous scientific studies from industry and her own studies and observations to bolster her work.

The book helps the reader take a more global perspective on how various cultures and our upbringing help to influence how and why we make certain choices.

Very good book.”

John Laughlin, of Frederick, Maryland, writes, “I came across this book while doing extensive reading in Behavioral Economics. It is truly excellent. Not only does it fill in some holes on the "business" side of choice, but -- more importantly -- it adds considerable depth to the area of "personal" choice, which is lacking in most economics-focused books.

The power of the author's insights become even more apparent when the book is read in conjunction with books like Blink, Outliers and The Long Tail (all of which the author refers to).

The book is especially helpful for those of us in the US who have limited experience with the cultures of other countries in which choice is less valued and more curtailed. Finally, anyone who is coping with end-of-life decisions will appreciate the final chapter on choosing your own end of life.”

I think these two reviews will help you make your decision as to whether or not this is the right book for you.  I agree with both of these reviews.  

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This book is available from Amazon.com: The Art of Choosing. 

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

A man walks into a Bank, gets in line, and when it was his turn, he pulls out a gun . . . and robs the Bank! . . . But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses . . . He turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this Bank?"

The customer replies, "YES."

The bank robber raises his gun, points it at the guy's head, and BANG!!!!!  ---shoots him in the head and kills him!

He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man . . . "DID . . . YOU . . . SEE . . . ME . . . ROB THIS BANK?

The man calmly responds . . . "No . . . But my wife did!"

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

Blind spots in early dating often jeopardize the ability to make proper decisions

Just as I had completed my essay on “Judging Others,” and how important it is to be aware of our limitations, I read an article by Kaja Perina (the editor of the magazine) in Psychology Today (January/February, 2007) entitled “Love’s Loopy Logic,” which explained the reasons why our ability to judge others is so limited — a situation in which Perina explains, “it sometimes pays to deceive ourselves.”   I have borrowed some of the language and many of the observations in this essay from that article, and I have, for the most part, refrained from using quotation marks simply because of the distraction that often causes.  The ideas in this essay belong to Kaja Perina, and I owe her a debt of gratitude for her insights.  Read her essay. 

You [the reader] will best profit from [at the very least, identify with] the observations in this essay if you can transport yourself back to the time when you were trolling for the wit, kindness, curiosity, intelligence, and “chemistry” that would allow you to make the proper decision regarding a future mate.  It is often within the parameters of such a quest that an explanation for the limitations of our observations and judgments can best be understood.  Perina casts both her observations and descriptions within the broad rubric of “mating intelligence,” which, she explains, is as oxymoronic as the term suggests. 

The key sentences in Perina’s article are, “We’ve all got blind spots about the opposite sex.  And sometimes that’s for the best.” 

The first blind spot occurs very early in the dating experience when men are wooing by grossly exaggerating their income, commitment, and affection for the opposite sex, and, despite the outlandish hyperbole, women are accurately gauging their date’s personality.   The blind spot occurs in the report of what occurred.  For example, if males have a great first date it is likely they will disclose more interest in themselves by their date than females are likely to describe.  Women, on the other hand, are likely to give an account that men are interested in no-strings-attached sex than is likely to be the case. 

Geoffrey Miller, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of New Mexico, labels these very early meetings as a “never-ending arms race of romantic skepticism and excess.”  Glenn Geher, an associate professor of psychology at SUNY at New Paltz, who, with Miller, has edited a volume on mating intelligence, comes to the conclusion that women who are skeptical of men’s intentions are almost always better off than women who spend hours deconstructing the first date.  For women, Geher suggests, using the rule that “men are always pigs,” will more likely result in finding honest, committed, and long-term-seeking males. 

A second blind spot, and one, too, that contributes significantly to the first one described above, is how males and females see the world through their own deeply skewed lenses.  This has less to do with minds set in mating mode, than it has to do with everyday perceptions.  Role play once again, and you are likely to see the problem.  Pretend your date is both powerful and beautiful.  Isn’t it likely that along with these features you imbue him or her with personal and intellectual qualities he or she is unlikely to possess? —smart, intuitive, creative, knowledgeable, gifted, and talented?  In addition, in such a situation, you overestimate your own abilities [after all, you have attracted a powerful and beautiful date!] and downgrade the importance of any skills that elude you. 

There is a third blind spot, too, that results from gender-related characteristics.  When I describe it, you will quickly agree, I’m sure, but what this bias does is tend to obscure other possibilities.  Men scan potential mates for sexiness and availability while women scavenge for clues to personality and commitment readiness.  Men are not looking for intelligence, creativity, curiosity, talent, or sense of humor.  If they find any of these characteristics, of course, it is simply icing on the sexy and available cake they desire.   

That is precisely why women are likely to be more accurate and realistic when it comes to looking for relationship partners.  They look for the things that will secure the foundation of relationships and better predict longevity such as a man’s character, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, and emotional stability.  Their judgment of a male’s commitment readiness may be inaccurate [males often lie about this to increase a woman’s sexiness and availability]; however, despite the static, at least females’ antennae are attuned to the proper station. 

The fourth blind spot is embellishment.  When all goes well early in a relationship, both partners tend to embellish the other.  Many call this the “infatuation stage” of dating.  The positive experiences the two of you have tends to turn up the volume on the traits you love.  Your date becomes the best-looking guy in his family, or the unheralded star of her office.   Faby Gagn , a research consultant and visiting scholar at Wellesley College, found that 95 percent of people think their paramour is above average in appearance, intelligence, warmth, and sense of humor.  There is a great deal of wisdom reflected in these observations, of course.  Not only does this help confirm a mate’s knowledge that he or she has struck romantic gold, but it, too, increases their own self-esteem for having found a mate of this caliber.  Gagn  discovered that when partners feel their mate has such outstanding qualities they are more satisfied with their relationship and more committed to their mate. 

The fifth blind spot, in a sense, justifies (more than some others) the basic premise of Perina’s article, that it sometimes pays to have blind spots. Self-deception is an equal opportunity bias. She says that the kind of positive illusions illustrated in the paragraph above help us marvel at our mates, overlook irritating or noxious behaviors (especially when a relationship split jeopardizes children, finances, or status), and make exceptions for aberrant or unjustified actions, especially when it is likely to bring on the alternative: uncertainty, distrust, and fractured loyalties.  Without the fifth blind spot, there is likely to be paranoia, heartache, and paralysis. 

Fortunately for most males and females, their goals, in the end, are overlapping.  Both want stable relationships in which to raise children.  Women, however, tend to want an earlier commitment than men.  But when the female-male tracks converge in commitment, the early biases often fade into the background, and males and females begin to share important goals, the most important of which is preserving the relationship. 

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At the Relationship Saver Blog, there are four wonderful, informative, and provocative essays that treat the blind spots people face in relationships—all written from different perspectives. 

The essay located at the Psychology Today website, entitled, “ Marriage Help: Rear and Side View Mirrors,” (January 23, 2009) ends with the paragraph: “Adjusting for your blind spots in emotional interactions has to be intentional, just as you have to intentionally adjust the rear and side view mirrors of your car. If you drive on automatic pilot on the road or in your relationships, your blind spots will lead you to disaster. Putting a little care and effort in your blind spot adjustments will get you where you want to go.” 

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Copyright November, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.

Day #222 - Your secret to success is in your effort.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind."  --Anonymous

Day #222 - Your secret to success is in your effort.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

Blind Spots in Relationships that Rule!

And Then Some Publishing News

Have you seen all the books, videos, and blogs from And Then Some Publishing? An easy place to get started is the black and yellow links at the top of this page. We don't want you to get lost so every link opens in a new tab/window. Get more information about World War II, baby books, public speaking, relationships, great art... And Then Some!

Coinciding with this week's essay about relationships, author Richard L. Weaver II offers a book to help you in your relationship. Once you understand the "rules" of relationships you will be able to create a long lasting bonds built for long-term happiness, security, and commitment. There are numerous suggestions, steps, and additional ideas that will motivate, encourage, and challenge relationship partners. Relationship Rules is available at Amazon.com.

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "Blind spots in early dating often jeopardize the ability to make proper decisions."  Just as I had completed my essay on “Judging Others,” and how important it is to be aware of our limitations, I read an article by Kaja Perina (the editor of the magazine) in Psychology Today (January/February, 2007) entitled “Love’s Loopy Logic,” which explained the reasons why our ability to judge others is so limited — a situation in which Perina explains, “it sometimes pays to deceive ourselves.”  I found it to be such a perfect example of what I wrote in my essay last week, that I felt an obligation/responsibility to share it with readers.

Blind spots in early dating often jeopardize the ability to make proper decisions
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:

You [the reader] will best profit from [at the very least, identify with] the observations in this essay if you can transport yourself back to the time when you were trolling for the wit, kindness, curiosity, intelligence, and “chemistry” that would allow you to make the proper decision regarding a future mate.  It is often within the parameters of such a quest that an explanation for the limitations of our observations and judgments can best be understood.  Perina casts both her observations and descriptions within the broad rubric of “mating intelligence,” which, she explains, is as oxymoronic as the term suggests.  The key sentences in Perina’s article are, “We’ve all got blind spots about the opposite sex.  And sometimes that’s for the best.”

And Then Some Works!

Power of 2: How to make the most of your partnerships at work and in life

Book Club... And Then Some!

Power of 2: How to make the most of your partnerships at work and in life         

by Rodd Wagner and Gale Muller


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.

One of the reasons this book caught my attention was simply that I have written extensively on interpersonal communication—relationship partnering.  My Understanding Interpersonal Communication college textbook (designed for freshmen and sophomore students) went through seven editions, and had this book become available during any of that time, it certainly would have been used throughout that book as a competent, highly relevant, well-written addition.  I used sections from books like this one in my “Consider This” boxes scattered in all the chapters.

One of the strengths of this book is their use of original Gallup polling research to identify “the dimensions of partnership.”  The authors “analyzed the responses of thousands of people in search of the variables that are best at differentiating between a great partnership and a poor one.  People from all walks of life scored their working relationships with their coworkers, fellow volunteers, other students, managers, and hundreds of others with whom they regularly interact[ed]” (p. 7).

The research the authors conducted reveal eight elements of a powerful partnership: 1) complementary strengths, 2) a common mission, 3) fairness, 4) trust, 5) acceptance, 6) forgiveness, 7) communicating, and 8) unselfishness (pp. 28-30).  Brief definitions and explanations are offered in the introduction to the book, then there is a separate full chapter on each one with a final chapter, “In Closing: Looking Within,” summarizing them.  There is a section “Additional Insights for Businesspeople,” and an appendix, “How the Gallup Research Was Conducted.”

Let me, through a quotation from the book and the chapter on “Communicating,” provide an example of their writing as well as a demonstration of the power that partnerships offer (as revealed, of course, throughout the book):

        “To solve the puzzle [trying to find the structure of DNA], required a tremendous amount of conjecture.  The ability to bounce ideas off each other proved to be the principal strength of the collaboration between [Francis] Crick and [James D.] Watson.  The American admired that Crick ‘never stops talking and thinking.’  The two men ate lunch together almost every day.  Afterward, they would exchange ideas while strolling along the grounds [at the Cavendish Laboratory at the University of Cambridge, where Crick was already working].  They shared coffee in the mornings and tea in the afternoons.  When the group in Cavendish was offered an extra room, two of Watson and Crick’s colleagues announced they were going to give it to them ‘so that you can talk to each other without disturbing the rest of us’” (p. 147).

The demands that great partnerships require of each participant are extreme and well described in the chapter, “Looking Within,” toward the end of the book.

The stories and anecdotes are arresting, the writing style is straightforward, comfortable, and engaging, and the insights, research, and substance of the book make this a “must read” selection for everyone involved in, interested in, or moving into an essential and necessary partnership.  All those who are beginning a relationship should read this book as well.  A great book!
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This book is available from Amazon.com: Power of 2: How to make the most of your partnerships at work and in life. 

Friday's Laugh . . . And Then Some!

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:  HIJKLMNO.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:  Well, yesterday you said it was H to O.

Laugh Like There's No Tomorrow: Over 2,000 jokes from the Internet

From our upcoming book compiled by Richard L. Weaver II
Laugh is setup with just over 4 jokes a day, all 365 days, and can be read in any order!
Expected Release Date: Fall 2010

In judging others, we need to be aware of our limitations

Because I taught students how to be effective persuaders, I was often asked, “Why couldn’t someone take the exact persuasive techniques that you teach and use them the way Hitler used them in Germany more than sixty years ago?”  The answer is: “They certainly could!”  When you teach persuasion, you either teach ethics (what ethical behavior involves) or you assume that those learning the persuasive techniques will use them ethically.  Perhaps the key is to screen students first to make certain they know the difference between right and wrong, have the proper value system in place, and that their past standards of behavior are irreproachable. 

Everyone reading this knows the impossibility of such a test of principles.  But the reason I have proposed such an examination of students’ right-minded conduct is that even if students were to pass such an assessment and the appraisal turned out to be first-rate, and even if you combined such an appraisal with additional corroborating evidence from friends and family, you still could not make an accurate prediction about how these top rated individuals might behave in specific circumstances. 

The point is simply that it is not easy to assess the character of a person.  Here is a close, personal example, although the names have been changed.  Jason came from a Christian family.  His parents were missionaries abroad, and Leesa knew Jason throughout junior and senior high school.  He was the school’s athletic star (outstanding in every sport), and she was captain of the cheerleaders.  Even Leesa’s parents, who knew the family and Jason for many years would have given Jason a strong, positive reference.  Leesa and Jason married; Jason physically abused Leesa; they were soon divorced.   

In another instance, Emily was an outstanding high school student and voted head of student council.  Jacob was a star basketball player.  Jacob, like Jason, came from a religious family.  Both his parents were teachers; the father was a basketball coach at the local high school.   Emily and Jacob were introduced through friends, dated, and, finally, married.  Jacob, as it turned out, was a frequent user of pornography, a thief, a child abuser, and a chronic liar.  Because of these traits and a deceptive lifestyle, Emily and Jacob divorced. 

There is a third similar example as well.  Ethan and Ashley were both members of the high-school band.  They had gotten to know each other because they went to the same church.  Everyone knew both Ethan’s and Ashley’s parents as respectable, upstanding members of the community.  Ethan played drums in the high school pep band, and Ashley, an outstanding athlete, always saw Ethan at her sporting events.  Some interest was sparked between the two as they would hang out together after games.  Interest led to dating, dating led to marriage, and the marriage ended in divorce.  Why?  Ethan abused Ashley emotionally, preferred being single to being married, was too closely tied to his parents, and never seriously considered the importance of either a family or spiritual life. 

We often make decisions about people in real life based on insufficient evidence.  For example, talk to people about whom they voted for and why.  Often, they choose to vote for someone because they like how they look, they hear an insignificant comment made to them about the person by a friend, or they listen to their candidate respond to a reporter’s question in a way that pleases them.  The point of the three examples in the paragraphs above is that even when you think you know someone and even when you think you have sufficient evidence to judge their character, you don’t. 

In most cases in life, we decide who we like or dislike for no good reason.  It is truly an unfair decision based on little or no evidence.  But, if we waited until we knew everything about someone before we made up our mind, we would spend much of our time with no commitments to anyone—in relationship limbo.  Not only do we not have access to the kind of information we need to make up our minds, but even when we think we have gathered sufficient evidence to confirm a decision, the person behaves in such a way as to counter our judgment—totally repudiating not just our evidence but our ability to root out the essential information we need. 

In a class I once taught I had a female student, I’ll call her Samantha, who was talkative, aggressive, and dominating.  When I entered the classroom, Samantha was always talking, showing off, and grandstanding.  When I asked for volunteers, her hand was always the first to be raised, and I had to be careful to give other students a chance to answer questions, or she would have answered them all.  Samantha’s classmates did not particularly like her, but they tolerated her because, it seemed to them, it was better to stay on her good side than offend her in any way.  After the first examination in the course, I realized that Samantha could be the smartest student in class.  Other quizzes and examinations confirmed the first one, and her final paper for the course was one of the best I had ever read.  For all of her “negative” characteristics, Samantha loved the class, thought my approach to it was outstanding, and was the top scholastic student. 

We are all faced with this same dilemma about character.  For all of Samantha’s aggression and dominance, she was the brightest and most capable student in the class.  In another instance, I had what appeared to me to be a bright, capable, charming student who often came up after lecture to discuss something I said, a controversial issue, or a point of view he wanted to share.  It was precisely this student who a graduate teaching assistant discovered submitting the paper of a previous student in class as his own, proving that affability does not relate to one’s moral standards.  It’s the old aphorism that, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”  My contention is that you can’t even necessarily judge a book by the book itself—the book doesn’t always contain enough information or the right information.  Even if it is the “right” information, it may not even hold true in all circumstances.  After all, presidents Thomas Jefferson, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and John F. Kennedy had secrets which would not have increased their popularity if the facts had been made public. 

Perhaps the issue comes down to the judgments we make of others.  Maybe the best idea is to judge them only on the one, single area of their life that we are able to see or hear, and make certain that our communication of that judgment reflects our limitations.  We can’t judge people based on the sum totals of their personality because not only do we not have those totals, but we will never have them. 

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At the website The Well, the very brief (five paragraph) essay, “On the foolishness of judging others,” puts everything in perspective—quickly! 

At The Splintered Mind website, there is an essay by guest blogger, Hagop Sarkissian , entitled “Judging others: When it’s bad, it’s worse than you think,” that will really make you think.  The comments that follow the essay are, too, profound, interesting, and even challenging. 

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Copyright November, 2010, by And Then Some Publishing, LLC.
    
    
   

Day #221 - Listen well.

SMOERs: Words of Wisdom

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." --Robert McCloskey

Day #221 - Listen well.

SMOERs: Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules! - Daily Reminders for Outstanding Living
An everyday guide full of quotations to uplift your spirits.
Free 30-Day sample: smoers.com

S'Mores and Essay Preview | In judging others, we need to be aware of our limitations

And Then Some Publishing News

Do you need some motivation, encouragement, and/or inspiration? Sometimes an inspiring quote is just the ticket. Our words of wisdom blog, SMOERs, has tons of quotes and we guarantee you will find a quote that will spark your inner being. 

The SMOERS quotes on our blog are derived from the compilation quotes in our book of the same name. SMOERs is based on the delicious snack S'Mores... just spelled funny. The quotes are based upon the title, Self-Motivation, Optimism, Encouragement Rules. The book is broken into 365 days with an average of 4 quotes a day. Pick any day and read some great quotes!

Visit our SMOERs blog or go to SMOERs.com and get a taste of our book with 30-days of quotes.

Thursday's And Then Some Essay preview:

Thursday’s essay is called, "In judging others, we need to be aware of our limitations."  You cannot make accurate predictions about how even top-rated individuals might behave in specific circumstances---even though you have judged their character positively in other instances. The point is simply that it is not easy to assess the character of a person. 

In judging others, we need to be aware of our limitations
by Richard L. Weaver II

Excerpt:
In most cases in life, we decide who we like or dislike for no good reason.  It is truly an unfair decision based on little or no evidence.  But, if we waited until we knew everything about someone before we made up our mind, we would spend much of our time with no commitments to anyone—in relationship limbo.  Not only do we not have access to the kind of information we need to make up our minds, but even when we think we have gathered sufficient evidence to confirm a decision, the person behaves in such a way as to counter our judgment—totally repudiating not just our evidence but our ability to root out the essential information we need.

And Then Some Works!

It’s not rocket science and other irritating modern cliches

Book Club... And Then Some!

It’s not rocket science and other irritating modern cliches


by Clive Whichelow and Hugh Murray


Book Review by Richard L. Weaver II, Ph.D.
 
This is a 5-inch by 7 1/4th-inch, 194-page book full of cliches and their explanations.

There are general cliches as well as cliches from the arenas of the media, entertainment, commercial, and business, and those in the political, and social areas, too.

I loved Whichelow and Murray’s first two sentences of the introduction to the book: “Over 50 years ago the film producer Samuel Goldwyn said, ‘Let’s have some new cliches!’  Well we’ve got shedloads of new cliches—and then some!”  Do you see why I like the first two sentences so much?  No, it’s not the substitution of “shedloads” for a much racier way of saying the same thing.  It’s the last three words: “and then some”
—the name of my publishing company!

Do you want to know what I find most fascinating about this collection?  Being a writer, I am 1) amazed at how many of these cliches I recognize, and 2) how many of these cliches I have used (or continue using), and 3) how many cliches I have never heard.  Now, it must be understood that this book was produced in England; thus, there would be some that are particular to Great Britain.

I have never heard of “gobsmacked” which means surprised, “but perhaps to about the power of ten” (p. 28), “(I nearly) choked on my cornflakes” (p. 14), “going pear-shaped” (p. 29), “schadenfreude” which means “delight in other people’s misfortunes” (p. 86), “z-list celebrities” (p. 100), “shoot the puppy” which means “to consider the most extreme and controversial course of action” (pp. 136-137), “beggars belief” which is “often used by opposition politicians to express their complete astonishment at some piece of government incompetence” (p. 149), and “ring-fence” the building of “dirty great, probably electric, fences around [money] . . . to stop themselves [from getting to it]” (p. 161).

Here is what’s interesting about the list in the previous paragraph: it consists of very few words out of hundreds listed in the book.  In other words, the authors have, indeed, selected highly recognizable, common (by definition) cliches that most readers will recognize.  That makes the book fun, entertaining, and (at least a little bit) informative.

This is an enjoyable, short read.  
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This book is available from Amazon.com: It’s not rocket science and other irritating modern cliches.